by Elin Wyn
“You can talk to them on this.” Karzin held up his communication device.
“Will it work with older human comm units?” I asked.
“Only one way to find out.” Karzin tossed the device toward me. I barely managed to catch it. After looking at it for a few moments, I knew I wouldn’t be able to use it.
“I can’t read your language,” I told him.
“I’ll make the call, then,” Karzin offered.
“Mom will be surprised to hear from a Valorni,” I laughed.
“If she’s as resilient as you are, she’ll be fine,” Karzin chuckled.
“She’s tougher,” I replied.
“So, you’re the runt of the family, then?” Karzin asked.
“I wouldn’t say that.” I made a show of being offended before bursting into laughter. I gave Karzin the information to contact my family.
After a few moments, my mother answered. The connection was faint and filled with static interference. Apparently alien to human technology didn’t integrate well, after all.
“Hello?” I heard my mother’s voice.
“Mom! It’s Annie.” I spoke louder than I normally would.
“Andromeda? Where are you?” she demanded.
“I’m working overnight,” I explained.
“How come you don’t get mad at her for calling you Andromeda?” Karzin demanded.
“Shush!” I urged him.
“Who was that?” my mother asked.
“Karzin, the Valorni that came to the door this morning. I’m staying overnight at work. Don’t expect me home! Love you!” I hung up quickly to avoid answering a million questions. “It’s like I’m thirteen again,” I laughed.
“Is that a significant age for humans?” Karzin asked.
“Kind of,” I shrugged. “Is there a place to eat here? I haven’t had a bite all day.”
“There is,” Karzin grinned. He jerked his head for me to follow him. “We used to have the best cook in the known universe but Snipes left to cook for a refugee kitchen. I always knew that old alien was soft-hearted.”
Karzin took me to a cafeteria of sorts that was mostly empty, except for a few Urai.
“The new cook is good but not as good as old Snipes,” Karzin sighed wistfully. I laughed at his melodrama. Looking at the food that was offered, I recognized much of it.
“I haven’t had some of this stuff in months,” I sighed as I piled my plate high with foods that were once common but now could be considered delicacies.
Karzin and I sat at a table in the corner of the hall and ate in companionable silence. After I cleaned my plate, I went back for second servings.
“If you were hungry, you should’ve let me know sooner,” Karzin exclaimed.
“It’s not that,” I explained. “At home, I get the tiniest portions. I want to eat as much as I can while I don’t have to share.”
“That doesn’t seem fair,” Karzin frowned.
“I can always get a bite to eat in the city,” I shrugged. “They rarely leave Somerst.”
“You’re the sole provider for your family?” Karzin asked. I nodded between bites.
“Until desk jobs are more common again, Helix won’t be able to work. My mom is a ball of nervous energy. She’s scared of everything now, not that I blame her. Dad spends all of his time helping out around the town, but he rarely makes money off it,” I explained.
“And your sister?” Karzin asked.
“Cass is,” I struggled to come up with the right words. “She’s not used to the shock of losing everything. She doesn’t know how to process it. If she did manage to get a job, I don’t think she’d last long.”
“So it’s all on your shoulders,” Karzin nodded.
“I have a job I love that’s just gotten interesting,” I grinned. “I don’t have any complaints.”
“That’s very admirable of you,” Karzin smiled. We ate in silence for a few more moments, but eventually, my curiosity got the better of me. I had to know why things with this Axtin character were so tense.
“What sort of alien is Axtin?” I asked.
“He’s a Valorni, as well,” Karzin replied.
“He didn’t seem happy to hear from you,” I ventured, keeping my eyes on my plate.
“There’s some tension,” Karzin admitted. “Valorni don’t tend to hide their emotions.” I waited for Karzin to offer more information, but he didn’t.
“What happened?” I asked.
“It’s a long story.” Karzin gave me a soft smile. “Not one I’m in the mood to tell tonight.”
“That’s okay,” I tried to give him a reassuring smile. “You can talk to me about it if you ever want to. You saved my life, so I’m not allowed to judge you.”
My words made Karzin chuckle. “That’s right. I get to hold that over your head for the rest of your life,” he replied.
“You can hold that over me, or you can make fun of my name. You have to pick one,” I teased, finishing my dinner, finally full.
“That’s no way to talk to the Valorni who saved your life, Andromeda,” Karzin shot back. I flicked a piece of food at him. It landed on his shirt.
“How can someone so handsome be such a pain in the ass?” I sighed.
“You think I’m handsome?” Karzin blinked.
“You’re not awful to look at,” I shrugged. “You’re still a pain in the ass, though.”
“I could say the same about you,” Karzin replied.
“I’m not handsome,” I rolled my eyes, taking another sip of my drink.
“No, you’re beautiful.” My hand stilled halfway to my mouth as Karzin’s words sunk in. Before I could stammer or brush him off, he leaned across the table and pressed his lips against mine.
His lips were warm and solid.
I dropped my fork, not caring if food splattered everywhere, and placed a hand on his cheek.
I felt the world melt away as he continued to kiss me. The power and magnetism of this exquisite alien with the body of a god made me forget everything.
For a moment, nothing else mattered. No one else existed. His tongue danced with mine and I gave up even trying to remember my name, let alone any responsibilities.
All I felt was him.
All I was…was for him.
He pulled away too soon, leaving me wanting more. I looked at him, slightly breathless and dazed. My voice was light and breathy when I next spoke.
“Like I said, pain in the ass.”
Karzin
The kiss had been a welcome change to everything in my life.
It felt good.
She felt good.
Which brought about my dilemma.
I wanted to help Annie, and the people here. They had suffered much because of our war, and now they were being attacked by something else that could very well have been our fault. Annie was working hard to figure out what was the cause of the craters.
I knew that she wasn’t the only one looking into it, but it seemed as though her perspective was the one that would find the answers. Somehow, it felt as though Annie would be the one to solve this.
It was Annie, with the help of Fen and the Urai laboratory, that had discovered that some of the sediments were organic, and that meant that whatever was causing the craters and seismic activity was a living, breathing being. In the few short days since I had first met her, she had come to impress me more than the other human women had. They all worked hard at what they did, and they’d all proved vital in our fight against the Xathi, but they just always seemed to be trying too hard, or too stubborn, or just too annoying for my tastes.
Annie had, when we first met, stood up for herself and shown me that she was more than willing to do what was necessary. To be completely truthful, the moment she had snapped at me on our first shuttle ride was the moment I knew I had judged her wrongly. It was that moment that made me decide to give her a chance to be something more than just another ungrateful, annoying human.
When she took me to So
merst, I was shocked to see how she and many other humans were forced to live. At first, seeing the boarding house she recommended, I had thought that I would rather sleep in the open than there, but her judgment and opinion of Finola had persuaded me to give it a chance.
Now, Fen was working on a leg for Finola so she could have better mobility, and I enjoyed working with her.
Then, when I knocked on Annie’s door and saw her and her family’s living arrangements, I was speechless. I saw the embarrassment in her eyes, but she shouldn’t have been.
The sacrifice they had all made, and the work that she put in to care for them…it was all admirable. She was doing everything she could for her family.
And I wasn’t.
I was sitting on this planet, enjoying the company of a lovely woman, while my family and my people were spending every second of their lives fighting for another second.
The only imaginable alternative to their fighting was too much to accept.
Thoughts spinning, I gave up on sleep, returned to the control room, and brought up the satellite reports. They were as expected, empty, but I refused to accept that.
I just needed to find the right spot was all.
The Aurora was a spectacular ship, or at least had been. The rooms could be sound-proofed with the push of a button, and before all of this happened, I had spent many a night forcing the Urai to use their soundproofing. I had launched many probes, sixteen, and nearly a dozen satellites into space to try to widen the net of visibility.
When Fen and Rouhr questioned me about the number of objects I launched, I told them it was a double benefit. While they were looking for a way back home, they would also be monitoring space to see if anything was coming here.
That was how I’d gotten away with it. Now, with Fen, most likely Pem, and Annie the only ones here thanks to the evacuation, I decided to launch another satellite. There was a section of space that didn’t have the coverage I wanted.
As the control center shook a bit from the launch, I manipulated the satellite scanners and modulated their frequencies. Maybe we were just monitoring on the wrong wavelength.
The night passed slowly, and as per almost every other night since the Xathi were destroyed, I found nothing. What in the skrell was I doing wrong? Why couldn’t I find anything? Was I really that useless that I couldn’t even find my way home?
Something set off a sensor on one of the farthest satellites. My heart raced as I checked on it. It was a simple asteroid, barely larger than an escape pod. I let out a yell of frustration and threw my chair across the command center. “Aarrhhhh!” I screamed. “Why can’t I make this work?” As my words echoed around the room, I stood and stared at the now broken chair. It had done nothing wrong, it had actually done everything right.
I was the one that was wrong. I rubbed my eyes, ran my hands through my hair, and cursed myself for being an idiot.
After cleaning up and repairing the chair, I did something I hadn’t wanted to do.
I grabbed my comm unit and called up Dax. I wasn’t sure why, but I needed someone to talk to and he was the most mellow member of any of the strike teams. Regardless of his disappointment in me, I knew he would at least talk to me.
His voice came over the comm, and as usual, he expressed concern for a person’s well-being before anything else. “You’re calling unusually late, Karzin. Is there anything wrong?”
“No, no, Daxion. I am sorry to be calling you this late in the night,” I answered back. “I…I was looking for some advice.”
“I am glad to hear that nothing is wrong, my friend ”
I didn’t really want to talk to him, but I was near the end of my wits and everything I tried failed. So, “I…forgive me for being blunt, cousin, but I wanted to know how you could be happy here. Our people are dying, yet you’ve managed to find happiness. How?” I knew my voice made my words sound accusatory, and that wasn’t my intention, but I knew of no other way to ask.
I could hear him breathe over the comm as he hesitated to answer. “I…I am unsure how to answer that without upsetting you, cousin.”
“Just tell me.”
“As you wish. I have not forgotten about our people, none of us have. What we have done, is we’ve talked to one another. Axtin and I speak to one another almost daily about anything and everything that enters our minds. As a matter of fact, we were speaking just now when you contacted us.”
Axtin’s voice came on next. “Dax is right. We talk, not just about what is happening here on Ankou, but also in our lives and about back home. It doesn’t solve anything, but it helps.”
I was surprised to hear civility and care in Axtin’s voice, considering the last time we spoke the tension had been almost too thick to breathe. “But, how can you just sit here and laugh and smile while our people are dying?”
I heard both of them take in a deep breath. My words had been blunt, but they had been said. It was Axtin that answered first. “I worry about my friends and family every day. I truly do. I know it probably doesn’t seem that way, but I do. I, for me anyway, I have to continue to be me and continue to push and fight or I’ll lose my mind. The way I look at it is, if I change who I am due to grief, then I’m letting our people down.”
Dax’s voice came on next. “It also helps that Axtin has found Leena, and that I have found Amira. They also speak to us daily and try to help us through. The humans have a bit of an understanding of our pain.”
“I know that,” I said. “But…” I looked around the room, searching for words. The other two stayed silent while I thought. “But how do you not lose your minds with not knowing about our homes?”
“That’s the thing,” Daxion answered. “It’s different for us all. Axtin works with, and trains, the human soldiers. I work closely with Amira, trying to learn from her. I know that Tu’ver and Rouhr put their concentration on the rebuilding, while Vrehx is occupied with Jeneva’s pregnancy and her attempts to domesticate some of the life on the planet to help replenish food stuffs. We all had to find something different to occupy our minds.”
Axtin cut in. “I think about the good things. We’re still alive. We got lucky and destroyed the Xathi that came here, made some good friends, we’re living on a crazy planet with insane things, and some of us have found families of our own. You know my story. The fact that Leena and I are together has made me happier than I’ve ever been. She’s the good thing in my life. I try to focus on that.”
We spoke a little longer before I ended the comm. Each of them had found something in their lives to occupy their minds.
What did I have?
The first thought that came to mind was Annie and how I had come to enjoy her company. She had led me to Finola, and it felt good to help Finola and to make her life a little easier. But the harder I tried to think of positives, the less I could think of anything at all.
I wanted to help Annie, I really did. What she was doing was important, but what I was doing was important, as well. Our people needed help and I couldn’t help them. If I helped Annie, then I wasn’t searching, but if I searched, I wasn’t helping Annie.
What was I to do?
I stared at the computer consoles, lost as to what the right choice was.
Annie
When I woke up the next morning, the first thought that entered my mind was about kissing Karzin and how I wouldn’t mind doing it again.
I hadn’t expected him to kiss me, right there at the table. If I’d known it was coming, hopefully I would’ve acted differently. Immediately calling him a pain in the ass afterward wasn’t my smoothest move.
At least he’d thought it was funny.
I climbed out of bed and checked the time. Leena would be arriving within the hour. I needed to prepare, even though I wanted nothing more than to lie in that plush bed all day.
I took a shower, savoring the scalding hot water. It felt good. Sensations of pleasure ran through me as I closed my eyes and let my mind wander.
What would it be
like to have Karzin in the shower with me? To use his deft fingers and large hands to soap my body down?
I wondered if his stripes went all the way around his body.
I imagined myself licking those stripes with my tongue. Bringing the large warrior to his knees with my hands and my mouth. Conquering him.
And then letting him conquer me.
My skin was as red as a beet when I finished. I didn’t have extra clothes, so I tugged on what I wore yesterday. Thankfully, they weren’t too wrinkled or too dirty. I didn’t want Leena to think I was a slob.
I had a few minutes to spare, so I thought I’d try to find Karzin. I went to the cafeteria where we ate the night before but he wasn’t there. The Urai cook from last night was there preparing breakfast. I grabbed a cup of coffee and a plate of proper eggs and toast.
“Have you seen the big Valorni I was here with last night?” I asked. He simply shook his head. Fen had a touchpad that enabled her to speak to us but I don’t think this cook had one. At that moment, I realized how strange it was for a Urai, who did not possess a mouth, to be given the job of cook. Even more baffling, he was fantastic at it. How did he know that his creations tasted right? I wanted to ask but I didn’t want to be rude.
I ate quickly before continuing my search for Karzin. I didn’t know the layout of the Aurora at all. I didn’t know the first place to look for him. In the end, I decided to walk toward the lab and hope I saw him on the way there.
I didn’t.
Ignoring the twinge in my gut, I paused at the door, glancing down the corridor one more time. What had I expected? I’d known from the beginning that he had his own, very different priorities.
When I entered the lab, a woman was already there. She was petite, with severe features and pale blonde hair.
“Are you Leena?” I asked.
“I am.” She stuck out her hand for me to shake. She had an iron grip and gave such a thorough handshake that I nearly spilled my coffee.
“Am I late?” I asked.
“No, I’m always early. Plus, I wanted to see the old lab. I miss this place. It’s much better than the one I’m currently using.” She looked around the pristine room with a fond smile.