*****
The next morning we all got up and did what we said we’d do. It was Sunday, so we put on our cleanest, if not our best clothes – it was time to do laundry, and we all hated it – and went in for breakfast. Hemp had learned to make bread sometime or other, and during the big bread machine craze I actually bought one, along with all the mixes needed.
Hemp put it to work and we had some nice bread, sliced just right. Charlie made some cinnamon toast with light butter, and coffee all around. It was perfect. But the hard part was about to happen, and I watched Trina gobble down her last piece of toast before clearing my throat.
“Trina, we have to talk to you about something.”
“Are we not gonna be able to say fuck anymore?” she said, indignantly.
Gem shook her head. “That’s not it, baby. You can still say it. It’s about your mommy and big sister.”
“Jesse? Mommy? Are they back?”
“No, they’re not, Trini,” I said. “There was . . . well, you know some of what’s going on? How we carry guns around and we watch for bad people?”
“Yes. And always to listen to the adults when they tell me to do something because it’s different now.”
“Well,” I said. “you always listened really good. But what I have to tell you is hard, because I love your mommy and Jesse, too.”
I looked at Gem, and my words were stuck in my throat. She took my hand beneath the table and squeezed.
“Trina, your mommy and sister have gone to Heaven. They’ve become angels now, and they’re watching over all of us now.”
Trina stared at me, her eyes excited at first at the thought, but then her brow furrowed, and her little eyes wrinkled as much as little eyes can.
“They . . . died?”
Hearing the words come out of her lips caught me off guard. I hadn’t been able to use the ‘dead’ or ‘death’ or ‘died’ words. But she had.
I nodded. “That’s right, Trini. So you won’t see them anymore – not in the physical sense, anyway. But whenever you see something that makes you smile or laugh, you’ll know that they’re smiling and laughing, too. That’s how it works. They feel your joy, and it gives them joy, too.”
She nodded, and Gem smiled at me.
“So when I’m happy, mommy and Jesse are happy? So if I’m happy all the time, so will they be?”
“I’m pretty sure it works just like that. I know we’ll miss them, but I do have some picture albums here that we can look at when you want. And remember the video, too. Do you think that would make you sad, or do you think that would make you happy?”
Trina smiled. “I’d be happy to see them on a video.”
Charlie said, “I tell you what, Trina. We’re going to have a ceremony this morning where we get to say good bye to your mommy and sister. We’re all going to take something that means a lot to us, put it in a hole in the ground, and we say a prayer over it, then cover it up. And then we say a prayer for your mommy and sister, too. And you can bring wildflowers.”
“Beaker means a lot to me. Can I bury him in the hole?”
We all looked at one another in shock.
“You knew he died?” Hemp asked.
“Yeah,” Trina said. “I found him yesterday. I figured it out.”
“He was sick, baby,” Charlie said. “He’s at peace now. Sure you can bring him. We’ll put him in a little box and you can decorate it if you like.”
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll decorate it first, then we can put him in. I think that’s better.”
Charlie laughed. “Yes. Makes much more sense. I’ll get you some markers and we’ll get the kitchen cleaned up while you prepare the box.”
Dead Hunger: The Flex Sheridan Chronicle Page 55