“Oh no. I can’t have bullets flying about!” Sophia sent him a horrified glance.
He fished in the box again and pulled out a bullet that had a hole in the top. “Hollow point. When it goes into something—a wall, a body, what have you—it expands out. It mushrooms.” He pulled out a blob of metal and put it in her hand. “Like this. More impact on a body, it causes internal concussive force that can kill someone even with a shot to the leg. It would be rare. But it could happen. But what you really want to know here is that once it goes in something, it’s no longer flying around, pinging off things in the environment and hurting you or your kids with ricochet.”
The shop bells jangled behind Sophia.
The man at the counter glanced that way. “I’ll be right with you, ma’am.” He fished in his box again. “This is a 9mm. This is a .40, and this is a .45.”
Sophia picked up the .45. “This is much bigger than the others.”
“Sophia?”
A familiar voice had Sophia spinning around. It took her a minute to remember the woman’s face, but when the woman lay her hand on Sophia’s arm, the effervescent warmth radiating across her skin told Sophia that this was Lynx, the woman who had helped her when she’d had her seizure on the side of the road.
Lynx knew Sophia had PTSD. Would she tell the gun guy? Sophia smiled over her shoulder at the man behind the counter. “I’ll be right back.” Catching Lynx under the arm, she moved off toward the shelves displaying concealed carry purses. “Small world,” Sophia said.
“Yeah, Brian’s here with me.” Lynx glanced out the picture window, then back at Sophia. “He’s getting something out of the car. We’re here a lot, seeing what’s new, adding to our collections. Kind of goes with the job.” She smiled. “Do you shoot? What brings you here?”
Sophia felt her artificial smile slide off her face before she pasted it back in place. “You and Brian?” she asked sweetly. “I didn’t realize you were a couple.”
The bell rang, and Brian walked through the door. “Hey, Sophia.” He made his way over to the women. “You mentioned you were interested in getting a gun. Is that why you’re here? I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you meant so soon. I would have come with you to help.”
“I was asking questions about their shooting range. I think I have to take a class to carry a gun.” She held up the brochure. She felt panicked that Brian had found her there, and she couldn’t figure out why. She looked between Lynx and Brian, imagining them together. They did look like they were a good fit. That they belonged together. With that thought, Sophia looked around, confused. What the heck was she doing? Sophia couldn’t remember the thought process that landed her in a gun shop, other than that she had to protect her boys. She had to save them. She tried to remember leaving her house. Driving.
The walls closed in around Sophia. Her fingers tingled, and she couldn’t hold her face in a polite expression. She felt as if she were softening, dissolving like one of the melting clock’s in a Salvador Dali painting. She reached out and squeezed Lynx’s arm. “It was nice seeing you.” Her voice slurred like she’d been drinking.
Sophia had to concentrate very hard on getting her feet to propel her forward. It was as if she had been sitting on them long enough that now she was numb and uncoordinated. She made it to the door, pushing it open with the weight of her hip and body. Her arms had lost their strength.
She didn’t know that Lynx was beside her, and Brian just behind, in case she should start to fall. She didn’t hear either of them talking to her. She was laser focused on getting to her van, and privacy. She should be out of the gun dealer’s line of sight by now. Another step, Sophia, come on. Move your feet.
She didn’t hear Brian’s frustration. She didn’t feel him sweep her up into his arms. Her torso was painfully rigid. Her brain screamed for air. Her lids slid down over her eyes. She was in the dark. And now she was without sensation. She wondered if the nothingness meant she was dead.
There. She sensed something. Warmth. It radiated over her back, releasing her frozen lungs. Sophia felt like she had dived off a cliff and her velocity pushed her farther than she thought possible under the water. But now, finally, she broke free. Her face above the surface, she gulped at the air. Her body was electrified as consciousness flooded back. The sensation burned under the surface of her skin, and Sophia cried out in pain.
Strong arms wrapped around her, held her, rocked her. Brian’s voice was in her ear, telling her that she was going to be okay. To hang on. Breathe.
She was too exhausted to do anything but collapse against him. Her head lolled to the side, and he lifted it back into place against his shoulder, cradling it there. Stroking his hand through her hair. Murmuring, “I’m here. I won’t let anything bad happen to you. You’re safe. Just relax. Everything’s going to be fine. You’re going to be fine.”
Sophia knew in every cell of her body that she wasn’t safe. That he couldn’t protect her from the bad things that happened to her. And no, everything wouldn’t be fine. She sniffed and tried to sit up, quickly realizing she wasn’t up to it yet. She need more time.
Sophia hoped Lynx wouldn’t feel jealous that she was in Brian’s arms. Sophia was glad that Brian was here with Lynx. She had been so afraid, since he was assigned to her, that if he became emotionally invested in her, he’d get sucked into her vortex of destruction. That was her good angel’s fear. Her bad angel wanted to stay in Brian’s arms, to have him in her life to comfort and support her, maybe even to love her. But Sophia wasn’t selfish enough to allow it. Though it was like handing back a full plate while she starved, Sophia swallowed and pushed herself to a sitting position. Her time for comfort was up. She realized she was on Brian’s lap, and had drooled a big wet spot onto his chest.
“Slowly,” Lynx said. She was crouched on the pavement beside Sophia’s van. Lynx looked up at Brian. “We should get her home. I’ll follow in your car.”
Sophia listened to Lynx say “we” and felt reassured. Brian belonged to someone else. He was safe.
Brian hugged her close as he moved from sitting in the van to standing in the parking lot. He set her effortlessly back in the seat, pressed a button to lean her back a little, and adjusted the seat belt around her. Sophia’s arms dangled lifelessly in her lap.
It was a quiet drive home. Brian didn’t say a word to her. She didn’t have the wherewithal to coordinate her lips and tongue for speech. Hopefully, Brian would get her to her couch and leave her to sleep. Alone.
24
Sophia
Saturday p.m.
“You’re still here,” Sophia said, looking over at Lynx and Brian sitting on her couch, each with a computer in their lap. She sniffed, something was cooking.
“You thought we’d leave you alone?” Brian asked.
“I hope you don’t mind, I started dinner,” Lynx said. “Can I make you a cup of tea? I’d like you to take it easy as you come out of your sleep.”
Sophia looked out the window. It was almost dark. She had been out cold for hours.
Sophia hadn’t said yes to tea, but Lynx bustled around the kitchen, getting a pot together—like they were old friends and she knew where everything was stored. She came back in with a tray. “I used one of your ready meals, and I have to say you are an absolute genius for doing that.” She smiled and poured the tea. “Brian says you take your tea without milk or sugar?”
Sophia nodded. Brian had only seen her drink tea one time. That was observant of him.
“Is there a story behind your ready-made food supply?” Lynx asked conversationally, like they hadn’t just scraped her off the sidewalk at a gun shop.
Sophia cleared her throat and reached for the cup and saucer, gratified that they only rattled a little as she moved the saucer to her lap. “When I was little, and Dad and I went on digs together, my mother would make ready meals for us in plastic bags, and sent them on with us. All we needed was water and our solar cooker. It was handy, and tasted good. When my mother-in
-law was injured in the car accident and my children and I moved in with her, I simply didn’t have the luxury of leaving the house except for a quick trip to take the boys to and from daycare. So I did what my mom had done. I bought a bunch of freeze-dried ingredients from the prepper store, then I sat down for a few hours one Sunday afternoon and made up enough meals for four months. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, each has its own shelf. It saves me enormous amounts of time, and takes a big chunk of mommy guilt out of the equation; knowing that, if nothing else, my kids are eating nutritiously.” Sophia pushed her hair out of her eyes. Somehow, between the gun shop and now, she’d lost her elastic band. “After she died—Jane, my mother-in-law—well, I never got my act together. I seem to fly from one fire to another, putting them out, so…” She lifted a hand and let it drop. “It is what it is. My sons can see what fruit and vegetables look like fresh from the store over at Lana’s house.”
“Wow,” Lynx said. “With all you’re going through, you are still such a great mom. I’m so impressed with everything I know about you.”
Sophia lowered her lashes. That compliment squeezed her heart. The voice in her head was unforgiving when it came to her failures concerning her sons. It berated her for the hell that was sure to be visited on them because of her. She sniffed and shook her head; she was grateful that the conversation sank into silence. Sophia drank her tea and watched through the window as the first star blinked into view.
After a while, Lynx got up to ladle stew into bowls. Brian had gone out front to check on things. They all gathered and ate in the family room with Sophia tucked under her blankets like an invalid.
Lynx sent a questioning look Brian’s way. Sophia thought they must have been a couple for a long time; they seemed to be able to communicate with a mere glance. Lynx would send him a look, and he’d act on it, and vice versa. Like this had all been choreographed in advance.
“Your neighbors across the way are having party.” Brian’s voice was a sudden splash of color against the silence.
“That’s Kay’s house. If you follow the local gossip, she makes killer margaritas that make you want to shed your inhibitions and act like a fool.” Sophia stirred her stew without any desire to eat.
“Your other neighbor, Will Sheppard, looks none too pleased. He’s watching from his usual spot, standing in his window. What’s his story? Do you know him?”
Sophia shrugged. “He’s quiet. Nice. He helped me out this morning, for which I am very appreciative.”
“Yeah? What did he do?” Brian asked.
“My car wasn’t working. I was out of gas and my lights were left on, so I ran the battery down. He came over with a gas tank, and he gave my battery a charge.”
Brian sent her a quizzical look. “In your driveway?”
“I was parked in the cul-de-sac last night. That was a little piece of luck.”
“Sophia, your gas tank was full when I drove you home Wednesday. Have you been driving a lot?”
“I haven’t been driving much at all. The boys were with Lana.” Sophia stared at her lap. “Someone sabotaged my car, didn’t they? I found the metal and prevented the flat tire, so they moved on, just like you said they would.”
“We can’t jump to conclusions.” Brian probably meant to sound reassuring, but he was doing a bad job of it. Concern rippled out with his words. “Would you please park your car where I asked you to? That way if someone wants to do something to your car they’d have to expose themselves under the security light. I’m thinking your neighbor is vigilant enough that he’d see something if it were to happen.”
“So how did it come about that he helped you this morning?” Lynx asked.
“His wife was having coffee on her front porch, and she must have seen me in the street. She went in, and a few moments later, Will drove over to help. He had a couple of gallons of gas for his lawnmower that he lent me, and he had jumper cables. I went up to the station and filled up my tank, replaced Will’s gas, and got some chai. It wasn’t nearly as bad as dealing with a flat tire, believe me. That was easy.” Sophia smiled. She took a bite of stew because Brian was giving her a funny look, and she was afraid he wouldn’t leave if he thought she hadn’t physically recovered.
“That whole story’s odd.” Lynx’s eyes were thoughtful. “I have to tell you, I had someone stalking me once. I may not understand your exact situation, but I do understand some of the thoughts and stresses involved. It’s crazy making.”
Sophia gave her a tight-lipped smile, then forced another bite into her mouth.
“I called Nadia while you were sleeping,” Brian said.
Sophia’s eyes widened. Shit. “What did you say?” she whispered.
“I wasn’t ratting you out, if that’s what you’re thinking. Is that how you’d perceive it if I told her you were having a seizure?”
“Yes, actually.” Sophia’s voice was defiant, just this side of furious. Brian had no idea what the ramifications might be if people knew.
“Well, I didn’t tell her anything. I asked what her schedule was like this week. You said you wanted self-defense classes, and given your situation now and in the field, I believe it’s a good idea. I think we need to start as soon as possible.”
Sophia let go of some of her tension. She nodded.
“I asked how her day was going. She told me about Marla threatening you at the pool. I think we need to have a serious talk about this.”
“Marla doesn’t concern you,” Sophia said.
“You concern me. A lot.” There was an intensity about the way Brian said the words that made Sophia turn her head and stare out the window. There was an emotion there that she couldn’t examine too closely.
“Sophia, turn around. This is serious.” He waited for Sophia to face him again.
She took her time making eye contact, placing her bowl of stew on the coffee table. She couldn’t fake eating it any longer. The smell was nauseating.
“Tell me how you’re feeling right now,” Lynx asked gently. “Do you feel like you’re back in your body?”
Sophia turned to Lynx. “Yes. Though I’m still tired.” She used her fingers to comb her hair out of her face, twisting it into a rope and letting it drape over her shoulder. “But I’m always tired. I guess I feel like I normally do.” Back in her body? That was a good way to describe the experience of a seizure, like she’d floated off and needed to gather herself back together and anchor in.
Lynx sent Brian a look, then took over the conversation. “I know that the decisions you’re making every day are difficult. You’ve been following your therapist’s suggestions and doing everything you can to contain the situation, but today changed things. Would you agree with that?”
“Yes.” Sophia wondered what that would mean. She wished she’d been able to get her hands on a gun today.
“Marla has power in the neighborhood because everyone fears her. You can expect your neighbors, except the Sheppards, who seem to be her victims as well, to turn on you. Things might feel like they’re getting more difficult.”
Sophia filled her lungs with air then exhaled forcefully.
Lynx scooted to the edge of her chair and leaned forward to touch Sophia’s leg. “It’s best to have a safety net in place.” She paused, letting that sentence sink in. “The police can’t act as things stand now. We need to give the police the authority to help you.” She paused again. She was speaking slowly, enunciating clearly. That helped the words to make their way into Sophia’s consciousness. “We would like you to come with us to the police department and talk to a magistrate.”
Sophia didn’t know what Lynx meant. She dipped her head to the side.
“The magistrate can issue a temporary restraining order. An Iniquus lawyer will meet us at the police station. All you need to do is walk in with us and answer any questions the magistrate might have.”
Sophia shook her head. “That sounds like throwing gasoline on a fire.”
“It does. I agree,” Lynx said.
“Do you want me to get that?” Brian asked.
“No, thank you.”
After the last ring, Lynx said, “We absolutely believe Marla will retaliate. But—and this is an important but—she’s going to anyway, whether you go to the magistrate or not. You exposed her to her husband. There’s been a fight over at their house. I can almost guarantee you. If you leave things the way they are now, you have little recourse. If you have a restraining order in place, officers can arrest Marla for coming near you, your boys, or your property. Give the police the tool they need to help you. Yes?”
“They won’t believe me. Why would they believe me?”
“You have witnesses. Brian was driving when Marla tried to run you off the road. He was also at the restaurant when she was spit-balling you. If need be, we can get Lana and Nadia in to tell the magistrate about what they saw at the pool. Getting a temporary restraining order isn’t going to be a problem.”
Sophia rubbed her fingers over her gold bracelet, staring into her lap, wishing for inspiration.
“You need this. It’s going to mean being brave. But you’re not talking to Marla. You’re talking to the magistrate. The magistrate will listen and file some paperwork. The sheriff will drive over to Marla’s house and serve the papers. You won’t have to see Marla. Though you should know that won’t be the last step. This order would only be temporary, then you’ll have to go to court to see a judge and explain why the restraining order should be kept in place. But we’ll be with you. As many operatives as you want will be with you. We’ll all go and make sure that you feel safe at the courthouse.” Lynx stood up. “Come on, let’s get this done so that Marla’s sober when she gets the restraining order in her hands. If she gets drunk and forgets it exists, it loses some of its power.”
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