by Aidan Wayne
“Right, yeah, of course.” Skye hoped he wasn’t blushing. “We were just wishing each other a Merry Christmas.”
“Oh. Well, that’s nice.”
“Yeah. He’s um, you know, one of my best friends.”
Gloria blinked at him and then she frowned, looking from Skye to Brent and back again.
“Brent,” she said. “You mind if I talk to you for a second?”
“Sure.”
Brent got up and left with Gloria, leaving Skye to try to make more conversation with the Cooks. When the two didn’t come back after a few minutes though, Skye started to worry.
He tried to smile. “I’ll go see what’s taking them so long.”
“Do,” Mrs. Cook said.
“Right.”
He got off the couch and went down the stairs in the direction Brent and Gloria had gone.
And then he heard some of what was being said.
“-two-timing you! And Russell. I’ve been hearing Russell talk about his boyfriend for months! The one he met while working on the show, but whose name he’s refused to give me. Skye’s cheating on you both. I don’t want him here.”
“It’s really not like that.” Brent sounded calm, in contrast to Gloria’s furious speech. “I’m perfectly aware of–”
“You’re fucking letting him date Russell? Does Russell even know? Because he’s my friend too, Brent, and I’m not about to just stand by and–”
“I promise it isn’t as bad as you think it is. I’m so happy, Gloria. And Russell loves him. Skye loves the both of us. We make it work.”
“Fuck that! You deserve better than to be–be half of a date!”
“Gloria,” Brent sounded stern now. “That isn’t what it is. And I’ll thank you not to act as if I don’t have control over the situation. I’m an adult, I’m able to make my own decisions.”
“He’s just a pretty face, and you are better than this–”
“That is enough, Gloria.” Brent looked furious. “I think you need some time to take this in and decompress and that’s fair, but I won’t have you insulting my boyfriend.” He glanced up and must have seen Skye, because his eyes widened.
Gloria saw it too, and turned around. “You,” she hissed. “How dare you come into this house, into my family–”
“Gloria!”
“I–” Skye took a step back, words frozen. He didn’t want to apologize. There was nothing to apologize for. Brent was happy. Russell was happy.
He was happy. “I–”
“It’s okay, Skye,” Brent said, moving past Gloria. “Let’s just… let’s go.”
Skye looked from Brent to Gloria and back again.
“It’s okay,” he said. “I’ll–I’ll leave, I don’t–I don’t want to take you away from your family.”
Brent glared at Gloria, who glared right back, and Skye scrambled to get out, making for his jacket and then the door.
“Skye, Skye wait!”
Chapter 15
It wasn’t fair, Skye thought, as Brent followed him down the block. It wasn’t fair that he was doing this, that he was taking Brent away from his family.
“Don’t–I’m just going home,” Skye said. “I’ll be fine. Go back and finish your Christmas.”
“It’s not Christmas for me without you,” Brent said. “Not while we can be together.”
Skye shook his head. “We get to be together a lot. This is a day for family.”
“You’re my family too.” Brent reached out to take Skye’s hand. “Skye, you’re my family too.”
Skye swallowed. “I don’t want to ruin the day.”
“You didn’t. And it’s fine. Gloria’s hot-headed and she cares about me and Russell a lot. We’ll both do our part and show her how much you mean to us. She’ll come around.” When Skye didn’t say anything, just stared at the ground, Brent added, “Didn’t it take your friend Linda a little while too?”
“Yeah, but Linda wasn’t angry. She just didn’t understand.”
“So neither does Gloria. Not yet. But she will.”
Skye swallowed again. “If you say so.”
Brent brought Skye’s hand up to his lips and kissed his knuckles. “I do. Now come on, why don’t we head back? Do you want to come over to my place?”
“Okay,” Skye said quietly.
They started the walk to the subway. “Hey,” Brent said, “Russell’s spending the day alone, right?”
Skye nodded. “Yeah.”
“Why don’t we ask him to keep us company too?”
Skye took a deep breath. “Yeah. Okay. That sounds great.”
***
“She fucking what?” Russell asked, sounding shocked. “Gloria? Really?”
Skye shifted awkwardly, eyes on the floor. He hadn’t planned to say anything to Russell about why he and Brent were suddenly free Christmas day, but Brent had told him almost as soon as Russell had walked into the door.
“I know,” Brent sighed. “I wasn’t expecting it at all. But I thought you should know, since she’s probably going to try to talk to you about it.”
“Yeah.” Russell rubbed at his face. “Yeah, wow. Okay. Good to keep in mind.”
“I’m sorry,” Skye said, not sure what else he could offer. Gloria meant a lot to both Brent and Russell, he knew. The last thing he wanted was to make things strained between any of them. But at this point… he didn’t know what he could do to make anything better.
“Hey, no.” Russell came over to him and took Skye’s hands, thumb stroking over the backs. “Don’t apologize. Gloria’s got a temper. And she had no business saying any of that to you.”
Skye tried to make himself look up. “Okay.”
“And now it just means we’ve got some time for all of us together, before your show,” Brent said, wrapping his arms around Skye from behind. “Anything you want to do.”
Skye couldn’t help the whimper that escaped him as he squeezed his eyes shut. The last thing he needed–
“It’s okay,” Russell murmured quickly. “It’s okay. Brent and I could probably come up with plenty of stuff, if you want us to take the lead.”
“Please. I–I’m happy just spending time with you. I–whatever you two want.” He wanted to make it good. His time with Russell last night had been wonderful. He couldn’t help but feel a little like he was ruining Brent’s Christmas.
Brent pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. “Okay,” he said against Skye’s skin. “Let’s go sit down, and Russell and I can brainstorm.”
***
“I can’t take it anymore,” Luna said as she traded her dance shoes for sneakers. “I’m going to die.”
“You’re not going to die,” Skye replied patiently. “You’ll wow every school you audition at, and you’ll get your first pick. Maybe second.” With Christmas over, mid-January auditions weren’t too far away, and the stress was starting to get to Luna. She was still with Skye twice a week, and would have been training more than that, if Skye’s schedule had allowed for it. “And the more you think about it, the more you’ll stress out. ”
“I know, I know.”
“There he is,” Fischer said, grinning as he walked into the practice room.
Skye stared at him. “What are you doing here? How did you get up here?” The practice spaces were private. He’d have to get past the front desk–
“Cara let me in,” Fischer said easily. “I asked to see you and she said you were finishing with a lesson, so she let me come up.”
“Skye?” Luna asked, in response to whatever facial expression Skye was making. “You okay?”
Damn it, he really didn’t need to lose his cool in front of a student. “Fine,” he said, trying to smile at her. “Same thing as always; text me when you’re back at school.”
“I know.”
“And stop thinking about auditions.”
“Okay, okay!” She pulled on her coat. “Have a good rest of your day. I’ll see you Thursday?”
“You know it.”
He watched her walk out and then turned to face Fischer, who was looking around the studio. “I mean it, Fischer, what are you doing here?” Seeing him a couple of weeks ago for just those few minutes had been enough for Skye.
“I wanted to say hi.” Fischer smiled. “See how you were doing. You look good, Skye.”
Skye did not want to deal with this. “Right,” he said, pulling on his sneakers. “Well, I’m about done here, so…”
“Where you headed? Mind if I tag along?”
Yes. “I have plans. Sorry.”
“Doing what? It’s your dark day, right?”
“Why do you know that?”
Fischer shrugged. “I had to check the show’s schedule to see it.” He smiled again at Skye. “And I know I said this already, but it was a great show. I knew you couldn’t be a mess all the time.”
Skye clenched his teeth and grabbed his bag.
“Hey, hey,” Fischer grabbed his shoulder. “Don’t take off. I just want to talk.”
“We have nothing to talk about.”
“Sure we do. It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other. You don’t want to catch up?”
Skye glared. “No. No I don’t. Because we broke up, remember? I broke up with you. And I don’t want to talk to you.”
He turned to go. The hand on his shoulder clenched tight, pulling him back. “Who else would want to talk to you? With how you freak out all the time? You’re lucky I want to mend the fence.”
Skye knocked Fischer’s hand away. “Not interested.”
He paused in the doorway though, unsure of what to do. Fischer was dogged. If Skye didn’t do something, Fischer really would just follow him around and try to wear him down. Better to just get things over with so he’d leave on his own.
If nothing else, Skye could always threaten to call the cops. That had worked last time.
He turned back around to face Fischer. “Okay,” he said. “What do you really want? You can’t actually be serious about wanting to be friends.”
“Not just that, babe. I miss you. I want to try again.” Fischer smiled at him.
Skye remembered when he’d do a lot, to see that smile.
“Don’t call me that. And the answer is no. So just… leave me alone, okay?” Skye clutched at the strap on his bag. “We have nothing left to talk about.”
“You can’t be serious. We were great together. And who else’ll have you, Skye? I mean really.” Fischer reached out. “I was good to you.”
Skye took a step back. “If that’s all you came here to say, I think we’re done.”
Fischer’s expression clouded. “What, suddenly you’re too good for me now?”
“I–”
“You actually think someone else might go for you? You can’t even pick what to have for dinner without having a breakdown.”
“That’s not–”
“Think about it Skye,” Fischer said, voice soft. “What we had. You can’t expect to get that somewhere else. Someone who’d actually put up with your shit.”
“Stop it! I’m not listening to this. To you.” Skye pushed past the frantic beating of his heart and decided, fuck it, let Fischer follow him. Let him try to make a scene out on the streets of New York. Maybe someone else would call the cops.
Fischer caught his wrist as Skye moved toward the door. “Let go of me.”
Fischer smirked. “Or what? We’re just two people having a friendly conversation.”
“I mean it, Fischer.” Skye tried to pull away. Fischer pulled him back, Skye stumbling forward a few steps. Furiously he said, “So what now? You’re just going to hold me hostage until I agree to see you again?”
“C’mon Skye, you’re acting like getting back together with me would be a bad thing.”
“Even if it weren’t the worst idea ever,” Skye said hotly, “I’m seeing someone else.”
The grip on his wrist tightened. “What did you say?”
“I’m seeing someone else. So go away, Fischer.”
Fischer’s eyes narrowed. “Seriously? You really think someone cares about you and your issues?”
“I’m done talking about this.”
“No, no, I’m very intrigued. Who? That pretty-boy costumer? Or the guy in the fancy-ass suit? You letting one of them fuck you?”
Skye didn’t say anything.
“You weren’t that good in the sack. Once he figures it out, he’ll kiss you and your neuroses goodbye.”
Skye swallowed. “They wouldn’t do that.”
Fischer squinted at him. “‘They’?” His eyes widened and he started to laugh. “You’re fucking both of them? Are you shitting me?”
“It’s none of your business!”
“No, no, of course not. You’re right, what would I even want with someone who’s whoring himself out to two people at the same fucking time.” Fischer let go of Skye’s wrist.
Skye pulled his hand back. “It’s not like that.”
“Oh yeah?” Fischer raised an eyebrow. “Wanna tell me what it’s like? Do they know you’re two-timing them, or do they just go at you together?”
Skye’s cheeks went hot. “Stop it.”
“Did I touch a nerve? I guess it is pretty sad that you’ve given up on having a real relationship. They both know sex is the only thing you’re good for, huh? It makes sense. They’re not actually putting up with the shit that comes from you being you. Well.” Fischer shrugged a shoulder. “When they both realize what a mess you are and that the sex isn’t worth it, you’ve got my number. I might be willing to give you a pity-fuck.” He threw Skye another smirk and finally, finally walked out of the studio.
Skye took several deep breaths and tried to get himself to calm down. After about ten minutes, he was able to walk out of the practice space and go let Cara know that Fischer was absolutely not allowed inside the building ever again.
That done, he pulled out his phone and looked over his texts. The last one he had was from Russell, asking Skye to let him know what he was done with Luna so that they could meet up.
Hey, Skye wrote. Sorry, but I’m not really feeling that great. I’m just going to go home and crash. Is that okay?
He was a minute into walking to his apartment building when he got Russell’s reply. Of course it’s okay. You want me to bring you anything?
No thanks. I’ll see you later.
Sure. Feel better. Love you.
“I love you too,” Skye whispered, wiping at his eyes.
***
Skye went straight home, flung down his bag, and flopped onto his couch. He turned over to stare up at the ceiling, one hand clutching his phone.
When they both realize what a mess you are and that the sex isn’t worth it, you’ve got my number.
Fischer was an asshole.
He was an asshole, and this was typical of him; say something so it got under your skin and kept poking at you until you had to believe it because you actually think someone else might go for you? You can’t even pick what to have for dinner without having a breakdown.
No, Brent and Russell actually got him. They understood his anxiety and put up with him anyway and–they loved him.
They did.
But it was true that Skye couldn’t always give them what they wanted. He’d gotten a lot better at doing things one-on-one with each of them, but sometimes he wasn’t up to sex. He was exhausted, or his anxiety would get in the way (for stupid, stupid reasons), and that was probably especially hard on Brent, who Skye didn’t see as often as Russell. Brent also had to work late a lot or get up early, so the time Skye got to spend with him was precious and even then there were nights where Skye just wasn’t up to being any more intimate than cuddling. Sometimes he wasn’t even up for that. If he was dealing with memories of other people then he didn’t always... like being touched.
He pressed his hands into his eyes. Fuck it, Fischer shouldn’t be allowed to make him feel like this anymore.
***
Skye felt pretty li
stless the rest of the day. He watched some things on YouTube and ended up falling asleep. Drowsing the day away instead of spending time with Russell, who had wanted to hang out. That didn’t make Skye feel any better, but he couldn’t bring himself to move.
At about six o’clock, Brent texted him to say he’d be out of work soon, and asked if Skye wanted to do dinner and a movie at his place.
Skye stared at the message, guilt clawing at his throat. He didn’t want to meet Brent and be reminded that he was a disappointment. He didn’t want to say no and be even more of one.
But he wasn’t exactly going to be good company right now.
He ended up writing out and deleting a number of different messages, each one worse than the last. Brent’s time was precious. Time spent with Brent was precious. Skye should just suck it up and go, try to give Brent a good time.
He couldn’t make himself move.
Sure, he managed fifteen minutes later. That sounds good.
Great! And the reply was almost instant, which meant Brent had been waiting on it. Head over whenever you want. I’ll pick up dinner on my way home. Do you have a preference today?
Skye got asked that a lot. If he had one, Brent and Russell went with it. If he didn’t, that was okay too. Right now… No. Pick something you really like.
Okay. I can’t wait to see you.
Skye hauled himself up, made himself grab his bag and his keys, the ones to Brent’s apartment hanging right next to the one to Skye’s own. He could do this. He could go to Brent’s and be good company.
He should also probably apologize to Russell. He didn’t want him to think that Skye’d blown him off and then hung out with Brent.
If he didn’t leave now, he never would. He could call Russell from Brent’s place.
“Okay,” he muttered to himself. “Okay. Leaving the apartment. Walking to Brent’s. It’s okay.”
Chapter 16
Skye had sort of gotten used to going to the Eugene and taking the elevator up to Brent’s floor, but walking into the building now just made him smaller and more out of place than usual. Fischer was right. What was Brent doing with someone like Skye? What was Russell? They were both way too good for the likes of him.