by Aidan Wayne
“I can smell blood,” Vampire Kid said. He wrinkled his nose. “It’s… bad, I think? It smells rotten. And mixed with other things. I think you need a hospital.” He made another aborted motion at Darren’s shoulder.
Oh man, Darren was not in the mood to deal with this, especially with a vampire who could totally see through the glamour. “I’m on my freaking period, you douchebag!”
Vampire Kid blinked—Darren should probably get his name at some point, but now was not exactly a good time—and gave him a not-at-all-subtle once-over. Then he leaned in and actually sniffed at him.
“Whoa! Rude! Back off. You are not allowed to be smelling me!”
Vampire Kid narrowed his eyes. “I do not understand. You say you are menstruating.”
“Way to still be rude, asshole,” Darren hissed. Freaking ow he was not in the mood.
“But you are a male.”
“Damn right I’m—” Darren had to swallow the rest of his retort after realizing that he wasn’t being questioned. Couldn’t see through the glamour, then? “…right. Yes. Yeah. I am. So shut up.”
“I will ignore the rudeness as you are in pain,” Vampire Kid said. Jerk. At least he wasn’t up in Darren’s space sniffing at him anymore. “What are you, then?”
“What do you mean ‘what am I’?” Darren said, eyes narrowed and hackles up. “Because oh my god, that is so not in any way your business.” He caught a glimpse of bright yellow and turned to see Tabitha coming down the walkway, sunshine-colored dress swishing, her dreadlocks twisted up in a neat bun at the back of her head. She was carrying a basket of mushrooms—she must have come from the woods a few blocks away. She was also watching the two of them carefully, but Darren didn’t bother trying to interpret her expression. She’d save him from Vampire Kid, which was all that mattered. And also give him wonderful, wonderful herbals. Darren stood up, still clutching at his stomach, hoping he looked suitably pathetic. “Tabby! Hi, hey, I ran out of my herbals and your weirdo vampire cousin won’t stop talking to me. Help, please, help help help.”
Luckily Tabitha took it all in stride, even if Vampire Kid did start scowling again at being called a weirdo. Whatever. He could deal; he wasn’t the one bleeding out his insides.
“Come on in, Darren,” Tabitha said, smiling. She opened the door, nodding both him and Vampire Kid inside.
Darren breathed in deep when he entered, already feeling a little bit better. He loved the inside of Tabitha’s house too. It was decorated with a mishmash of furniture and art that the witch had acquired over the years—through her various travels when she’d studied her magic and potion making—and that was all great. But more importantly, she also kept plants: medicinal, herbal, and edible, another slice of garden indoors. Darren always felt right at home in Tabitha’s house—sometimes more than at his home; her collection of plants was a little bit more exotic than the ones Darren and his dad kept.
“Go on into the kitchen,” Tabitha instructed, swinging her basket. “I’ll be there in a jiff. Vlad, why don’t you join him?”
Vlad? Darren swung around to stare at Vampire Kid, who frowned and ducked his head. “Your name is Vlad?”
He scowled. “Yes. So?”
Okay, now Darren might have been gawking. “No, you can’t actually be serious.”
“Kitchen, boys,” Tabitha said, before she left them alone.
Darren shrugged and headed toward the kitchen, Vlad following him. They sat across from each other, and Vlad gave Darren a deeply unimpressed look. “I am from Ukraine. It’s not an uncommon name there.”
“What? Oh. Right, your name.” Darren winced at a new wave of pain. “Common in Ukraine. Got it. Great.”
“My father—” Vlad only barely paused. “My father’s name is Ivan.”
Darren knew what that pause probably meant, knew he shouldn’t push, but he couldn’t help himself. “What’s your mom’s name?”
“Veronika.”
Vlad’s face was kind of doing a shutting down thing. “It sounds really nice, when you say it,” Darren tried. “With the rolling Rs and all.”
“Thanks,” Vlad said after a pause that went on a touch too long.
“But Vlad the vampire is still like, the most cliché thing I have ever heard in my life.”
“You are a jerk.”
“You were a jerk first.”
Vlad had no response to that.
“Here we are!” Tabitha said, coming in carrying a steaming bowl in one hand and a paper bag in the other. “Darren, your herbals are in the bag. The usual method of taking them—chew one of each of the four leaves when you wake up before you eat anything else, and right before you go to bed with a glass of warm water. And don’t use or eat anything with aloe vera until your period is over.”
Darren made grabby hands at the bag. “Great, thank you. Am I allowed to take some now, even though I’ve already had breakfast?”
Tabitha shook her head and set the bowl down in front of him. “Nope, sorry. But I mixed up a steam form that you can take now. It isn’t as effective for pain, but it’s fast-acting, so it should at least help some until you can take your nightly dose. But you can’t wear anything with polka dots for the next twenty-four hours.”
“I don’t even own anything with polka dots,” Darren said, throwing his face into the bowl and taking a deep breath in.
“All right, just spend a few minutes inhaling that, then,” Tabitha said. “I’m going to get my mushrooms into the dehydrator. Vlad, why don’t you keep Darren company?” Then she was gone again.
There was a long pause, and then Vlad said mulishly, “You could have just told me you were trans. I would not have made a big deal of things.”
“Not the sort of thing I tell complete strangers, man.” Darren was feeling a little more charitable now. Sweet steam relief. “Or anyone. It’s kind of a need-to-know basis thing. And you? Did not need to know.”
Vlad opened his mouth and then closed it again. “Sorry,” he said after a moment.
“Um yeah, it’s uh… it’s okay I guess.”
More silence. Vlad kept staring at him and seemed disinclined to leave Darren and his steam in peace.
Darren didn’t do well with silence. It made him twitchy. And he’d never spoken to a real live vampire before. Live? Unalive? Undead? A million questions shot through his mind, and he ended up blurting out, “So I thought all vampires were super pale,” before he could think better of it.
Vlad gave him another look. “Black people have been invented for quite some time now,” he said, voice dry. “Several centuries at least.”
Darren winced and not out of pain this time. “No, I-I just mean, y’know, you’re not pale?” A short pause, which he rushed to fill. “Okay, sorry, that sounded super awful, sorry.”
Vlad raised an eyebrow, but he looked less mad and more amused. “My being turned did not somehow leech the color from my skin. I just cannot tan. My skin heals too fast for that, now.”
Darren blinked at him. “Wait, you’ve tried it?”
“Tried what?”
“Going out into the sun.”
Vlad’s unimpressed look was back. Darren took that as a yes.
“But I thought the sun made you guys go poof.”
“I am not going to go poof in the sun.” Vlad actually rolled his eyes. “When you met me, I was sitting outside.”
“In the shade!”
“It’s March. There’s sun. You do not care much about history, do you?”
“Um.”
“That is what I thought.” And that was definitely at least the beginnings of a smirk. Darren was getting the feeling that Vlad thought he was super dumb. Which, ugh, not fair.
“We can only cover so much stuff about different supernatural species every year,” Darren said to defend himself. “And it’s all stuff everyone knows.”
“Except that you do not know it.”
“Oh, like you know so much about it,” Darren retorted. “You’re the one all snif
fing up in people’s space. Even Layla knows not to do that in public and she’s six.”
“Is she a vampire?” Vlad asked, sounding tentative. It took Darren aback, amid all the sniping.
“Uh, no. She’s a werewolf.”
“Oh.” They lapsed back into silence.
“Vampires aren’t exactly common around here,” Darren said, feeling kind of awkward. “I think you’re the first one our town has ever had.”
“Yes. Tabitha mentioned that.” Vlad stared down at the table.
“I just mean we’ve got the usual assortment of supernatural mixed in with the humans,” Darren added, feeling like he should explain himself. “You know, common stuff. Nymphs and werewolves and witches and golems and harpies. It’s not like those special boarding-school towns. You’d probably have better luck finding other vampires at those places. Vampires aren’t exactly common in the Americas. I remember that from class.”
“Right.” Vlad still didn’t look up from the table. “Yes.”
Darren took one last lungful of steam and pushed the bowl away. That would hold him until tonight, at least. “Hey so, why are you here, anyway?”
After a long moment, Vlad said, “Need-to-know basis. I do not tell complete strangers.”
“How do I still qualify as a complete stranger?” Darren asked, oddly insulted. “We’ve been arguing for the last ten minutes.”
“I still don’t know your name.” Vlad crossed his arms. “I told you mine, and then you made fun of it.”
Darren blinked. And maybe turned a little red. “Oh, uh. Whoops? Uh, hi.” He stuck out a hand on reflex. “I’m Darren.”
Vlad actually took his hand and shook it. And then didn’t let go. “Darren what?”
Was this a vampire thing? Was he supposed to try to take his hand back? “Darren Qh’lothital.”
Vlad squinted at him. “And you made fun of my name? I cannot pronounce that.”
“You are a vampire named Vlad.”
Vlad released Darren’s hand to cross his arms again. And maybe hunch in a little. “I’m sure my parents did not name me expecting that to happen.”
Okay, maybe Darren felt a little bad now. Vlad was, like, a week in from Ukraine, he was the only vampire in town, and he clearly wasn’t here because he wanted to take a vacation to the States. And he was a possibly newly turned vampire who got upset when he mentioned his parents. That didn’t bode well. Darren should probably cut him some slack.
“Okay, well, nice to meet you, I guess. Hope you like our town and settle in okay. Tabby’s pretty great, so… yeah. I’ll see you around.” And then Darren fled. It just seemed like the best option.
THE NEXT morning Darren woke up, rolled out of bed, and immediately made a beeline for the stairs. He got to the kitchen, pulled his herbals out of the fridge, stuffed the four different leaves into his mouth, and started to chew as he headed back upstairs. He stopped in the bathroom, emptied his Mooncup on top of his usual morning routine of brush teeth, use bathroom, take shower, and then ended up back in his room in a towel, ready to sort through clothes.
Even with the herbals, he was still feeling kind of lousy, so he decided against wearing his binder today, instead grabbing one of his sports bras. It wasn’t like he was all that big to begin with, thankfully, and his glamour gave him the illusion of a masculine chest anyway, but he normally liked to wear the binder just because it made him feel better. A sports bra was much more forgiving, though, and he was always in favor of comfort during period week.
Bra and boxers on, Darren threw a T-shirt and shorts on top of them, stuffed his books and homework into his bag, and was ready to face another school day.
Just as soon as he had breakfast. He hoped there was still some tiger lily left. He might have eaten it all yesterday.
BETHANY MET him at his locker and gave him a look of pity, meaning she’d sniffed out what Vlad had yesterday. “So you’re early, huh?”
“It really is freaky how you manage to do that every single month.”
“And it’s really sad that you’re not used to it by now,” she shot back. “Did you at least get your herbals? Are you good and dosed up?”
“Yesterday was not fun, but yeah,” Darren said. “I can’t wait until I’m able to grow that mixture myself.”
“Will you be able to?” she asked as they walked to their first class—good old chemistry. “I thought that was witch work.”
“It is, but it’s also plants? I talked it over with Mx. Nadeem, and they said that as long as it’s just plant matter and no actual spells need to be cast, it should be fine. I just have to learn how to grow that configuration all on the same plant, like Tabitha can.”
“You should talk to Trish about it.”
“He should talk to Trish about what?” Trisha asked, popping up behind them. She had a knack for being in the right place at the right time. That was probably the witch in her.
“About naturopathics,” Bethany said easily. Beth never was surprised by Trish just showing up. Those werewolf ears and nose were good for more things than just sniffing out Darren’s time of the month.
“Oh.” Trisha frowned. “Darren, are you early?”
Darren threw up his hands. “Why do you know that? Also how!”
“It’s the only time you ever talk about that particular method of plant growing,” she said matter-of-factly. “Since you’re normally all for keeping plants pure.”
Darren sighed. It was true; the fae in him wanted to keep plants the right way, without too much tampering. Or at least, without certain kinds of tampering. Still. “Have I mentioned recently that you both know me too well?”
Bethany patted Darren on the back. “Sorry, that’s what happens when you’re best friends with someone. We learn all your secrets.”
“Yeah, yeah.” For all he made a fuss about it, he wouldn’t trade Beth or Trish for anything. “Did you guys finish your history papers yet?”
“Course,” Bethany said. “Five pages on the history of the manticore. I finished last night.” And there was a reason Beth had a 4.0 GPA and was gunning for head of student council.
“I’m almost done,” Trisha said. Trish was also crazy smart. This was helpful, because Darren and school were not the best of friends. “I had a hard time finding sources about the evolution of grimalkin dynamics, but Steven was a big help.” Steven was human, but he had an aunt on his dad’s side who was a grimalkin.
“Hey,” Darren said, “I’m pretty sure an interview with the nephew of one counts as a good source.”
“Yeah, but still. I set up a phone interview with her too. She lives in Kentucky.”
“What’s a grimalkin doing out in Kentucky?”
Trisha shrugged. “Her husband’s a hellhound. I think he’s captain of the fire department there. How’re you doing on your paper?”
“Not too bad. I’m like half done, I think?” His paper was on fae faerie tales, because he’d thought the alliteration was funny. Also because he could just interview his grandmother as a source, even if he did have to travel through a faerie circle to do it. “I’m trying to find pictures of actual documentation because Ms. Gutman said she’d give extra points for that, but cameras sort of do funny things in the circle, and I haven’t managed to get a clear photo yet.”
“And you can’t take the reference material out of the circle because….”
“Because it is literally written in morning dew.” Darren rolled his eyes. “Believe me, I’ve tried.” It was no wonder his dad had run away to the “real world” to become an accountant. The fae’s views of technology while in the circle was ridiculously archaic. His grandmother didn’t even have satellite, much less Netflix. Though he had convinced her to use a Kindle, once he’d shown her how easy it was to store and download books. “Anyway. So what? Are you and Steven dating now?” Trish was big, beautiful, and had almost every lady-inclined guy and girl in school swooning at her feet. It wouldn’t have been the first time a study-buddy had fallen madly in lo
ve with her.
“Actually no.” Trisha grinned. “I set him up with Urvash.”
“Who the heck is Urvash?” Their school had like five billion students. Darren had no idea how Trish managed to keep them all straight.
Trisha rolled her eyes. “Um? He’s in our American Gov class.”
“Wait, wait, is he the quiet guy? Always sits in the back?”
“Yes, Darren,” she said, sounding exasperated. “He’s also blue. Because he’s a selkie. Is any of this ringing a bell?”
“Hey, I spend that class furiously taking notes. Cut me some slack.”
“Speaking of class,” Bethany put in. “If you make me late, I will end you. Hurry up!”
“No one’s making you stick around,” Darren muttered. “Okay, okay!” he said at Bethany’s unimpressed look. He grabbed his stuff out of his locker, waved to Trisha as she headed the other way to her chemistry class (specialized; potion making), and followed Beth down the hall.
A BIT less than a month later, Darren was walking back over to Tabitha’s place. Not in horrible pain this time, because he actually had the forethought to pick up his herbals early, once he started getting his warning signs. Those mostly consisted of him needing to devour every chocolate thing within a five-mile radius and desperately craving out-of-season flower petals with no clue why. At least until he started bleeding two days later. It had taken him literal years to figure out the pattern in that.
He’d spent the day putting chocolate on and in every food he ate, squirting honey packets into his mouth, and eyeing the wild violets that had started to pop up everywhere, so he was pretty sure it was a good time to restock on his meds. Not for the first time, he wished they didn’t dry out after two weeks. It’d be so much easier if he could just stock up for a year at a time. Even a couple of months would be nice. But no. That’s what he got from needing to use fresh plants. Stupid fae genes.