The Good Girl's Guide to Being Bad

by O'Gorman, Cookie

  Yeah, it didn’t really work out.

  I got home right at 9:00 pm and ran straight into my mother who was preparing to leave. Her red dress was skintight, strappy heels sky high. The small sparkly clutch was what Betty would call “perfect for nighttime.” I was used to seeing her like this. She had on her show makeup which meant she was probably going out dancing. Again. It was the best way to drum up business for the studio.

  “Hey Mom, how was your day?” I asked.

  “Oh, you know how it is. One new couple signed up for classes this month. The Latin styles are always a favorite,” she said, swishing her hips. “But your cheeks make me think your day was far more interesting than mine.”

  “Huh?”

  “What’s that blush about, Sadie?”

  “Well, you know how it is,” I said, echoing her. “Went to a party, hung out with the girls, read raunchy romance to little old ladies with a thing for men in kilts. Those guys at Shady Grove know how to have a good time.”

  She laughed. “Did Betty have a good birthday?”

  I thought back to my last sighting of Betty and Cora: They’d been giggling, fanning themselves as they talked about the undeniably sexy Laird Blackwood.

  “Betty had a great birthday,” I said, “though I think her taste in books is somewhat inappropriate.”

  “Take it from me, Sadie. Even older women need a bit of stimulation now and then.”

  “Gross, Mom.”

  “Gross but true. Hey, is Betty coming tomorrow for Senior Night?”

  “I don’t know why she wouldn’t.”

  “I really wanted to wish her happy birthday in person. She’s a great dancer and an even better woman.”

  “She definitely is. And here, take this.” Taking the shawl hanging from the coat rack, I dropped it over her bare shoulders, fluffing her blonde hair that was so like mine. The wild curls were somehow softer and fit Mom so much better. “It’s supposed to be cold tonight.”

  “Why do I sometimes feel like you’re the parent, and I’m the kid?” she asked.

  I shrugged. “Maybe it’s because I was born eighty.”

  “So not true.”

  “It’s Friday night, Mom.” I sighed, shook my head. “I’m home before ten, and my plans involve a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, curling up with the remote control and studying Physics. Sometimes, I wish I was more like you.”

  “I don’t. If you were like seventeen-year-old me, I’d probably have had a heart attack by now.”

  I couldn’t help but think back to my CAT results, how dull and boring everyone seemed to think I was. “A test I took said I should become a nun.”

  “What a bunch of bullshit,” she scoffed. “You’re just a good kid, Sadie. There’s nothing wrong with that—actually, everything is right with that.”

  “I love you, too, Mom.”

  “I love you more. And if you ever do decide to become a wild teenager, just give me some warning, okay?”

  With a smacking kiss, she waved and walked out the door, leaving me with a perfect pair of red lips on my forehead.

  Alright, I thought, looking at myself in the hallway mirror. Friday night, nowhere to go, I might as well spend some quality time with two of my favorite guys. After a day like today, I was looking forward to a little ice cream therapy.

  Ben and Jerry were calling my name.

  A while later, I’d watched the first season and was just starting the second of Sherlock, my Physics book unopened on my nightstand. I had tried. Really I had…okaaay, I’d given it about ten minutes before chucking the book aside. But seriously, on this crappy day, Physics would’ve been like adding insult to injury. The pint of Ben and Jerry’s was long gone. I’d inhaled the Chunky Monkey like oxygen. Jon and Sherlock had just faced down Moriarty in the notorious pool scene when my phone buzzed a text.

  “This had better be good,” I muttered.

  When I saw who’d sent the message, I nearly pressed ignore—but then my mind registered what it said.

  Colton Freakin’ Bishop: K drunk, not sober enough to drive. Need ride ASAP.

  I didn’t have time to respond before another text came through.

  Colton Freakin’ Bishop: 707 Nottingham Rd.

  I typed out a quick response, trying to calm my nerves. This was only the second time Kyle had gotten drunk, the first being after his beloved dog Skittles died last year. So why had he gotten drunk this time?

  Me: Of course, I’ll be right there.

  Colton Freakin’ Bishop: sorry 2 interrupt your big “party”

  Oh yeah, he sounded real sorry, I thought.

  Me: No you’re not.

  Colton Freakin’ Bishop: No. I’m not.

  No way was I telling him Betty’s party ended—I checked the time and groaned—over four hours ago. Huffing out a frustrated breath, I turned the TV off, pulled my clothes back on, and fired off another text.

  Me: On my way.

  His response came through a second later.

  Colton Freakin’ Bishop: Thanks, Sister Sadie. Knew I could count on you.

  Me: Call me that again, and I will skinnnnn you!

  I was feeling pretty great about that one. Thank you, Mr. Moriarty, for the inspiration. Colton was usually quick to respond, but this time it took at least a full minute. Smiling, I waited as the dots popped up indicating a text. The smile dropped a second later.

  Colton Freakin’ Bishop: Nice one, S. Very creepy. But Daddy’s had enough now, and we both know I’m more bad guy than you’ll ever be.

  I couldn’t believe he got that reference—but then I remembered I’d loaned Kyle my Sherlock DVDs last month.

  Colton Freakin’ Bishop: Catch you…later.

  Gritting my teeth, I grabbed my purse, hating that he’d one upped me. And with a perfectly placed Sherlockian quote at that! The urge to throw my phone across the room was almost as great as my urge to punch Colton in the face. There was absolutely no way I was meant to be a nun because the urge only grew stronger on the 15-minute drive to the party. The scene I found upon arrival was a sorry sight indeed.

  Kyle wasn’t just drunk.

  He was a hot mess.

  He and Colton and some girls I didn’t recognize were sitting on the porch as I drove up. Actually, one girl was leaning against Kyle with a dreamy expression while he looked seriously uncomfortable. The other was sitting in Colton’s lap, but whatever. That was normal, par for the course. Different party, different girl, Colton’s long list of conquests continued. The music was so loud it filtered out to the street. A few red Solo cups were scattered on the lawn. As I parked and got out, Kyle launched himself at me, nearly knocking me off my feet.

  “Sister Sadie,” he laughed, planting a sloppy kiss on my cheek, and I stiffened. “Sadie, Sadie, Sadie. Where have you beeeeeen?”

  Colton dragged him back and threw me a grin. “Glad you came. Kyle, here, has had a little too much fun tonight.”

  “Fun?” I repeated. “He smells like the Budweiser frog threw up all over him.”

  While Colton snickered, Kyle started laughing hysterically, slapping his thigh and swaying like a drunken bobble head.

  “Holy smokes,” I muttered, catching his arm. “Let’s get you out of here.”

  Colton helped me get Kyle into the passenger seat then slid into the back. It wasn’t until I looked in the rearview mirror and saw the two brunettes squeezed in on either side of Colton that I realized we had other passengers. Was this seriously happening?

  “Did you need something?” I asked the one who’d been leaning on Kyle. She looked halfway asleep, but the other girl was busy running her hands all over Colton’s chest. Sleepy Girl and her sidekick Miss Bad Taste in Boys. Lovely.

  Sleepy Girl blinked as if noticing me for the first time. “Oh, Colton said you wouldn’t mind taking us home. 342 Galveston Way, please.”

  “Oh he did, did he?” Rolling my eyes, I shifted to face Colton. “You’re kidding me, right? I’m not a freaking taxi service.”

&nbs
p; “Come on, Sadie,” he said. “I figured you’d be into this kind of thing, being the do-gooder type. As you can see, Hannah--”

  “It’s Anna,” Sleepy Girl said.

  “Yeah, that’s what I meant,” he grinned. “Anna and her hot friend, Liz, aren’t in any shape to drive.”

  I looked the girls over and, beneath the smudged mascara and eye shadow, saw the same glassy-eyed look that I’d seen on my best friend. Crap. Was I the only sober one in this car?

  “I may have had one too many,” Liz giggle-hiccupped, laying her head on Colton’s arm.

  And there was my answer.

  “‘ppreciate the ride,” Anna said sleepily while Liz continuously stroked Colton’s chest.

  My nemesis grinned, eyebrow cocked. “It’s the Christian thing to do.”

  If the girls had been jerks, I might have said no. If Colton and Liz were…getting busy in the backseat, I would have thrown them both out. But seeing as both girls were nearly asleep already and one couldn’t keep her head up, and seeing as I was a push over, I gave in.

  “Fine, whatever,” I mumbled. “It’s on the way anyway…but if you two start making out, I will kick all three of your butts to the curb.”

  “Hmm,” Liz murmured, “thank you, Sister.”

  Colton cough-laughed, but I pretended not to hear. Even as he and Liz did what I knew they’d been going to do, and she started kissing up and down his throat, making me want to gag, I didn’t react. Even as she giggled, I kept my eyes forward. In fact, I did a pretty great job of pretending I was alone in the car for the next few minutes—until Kyle started rambling.

  “Nobody knows me,” he said to himself. “Not my parents, not my friends. Not even my brother. No one in the whole wide world really knows who I am…except you, Sadie.”

  “What?” I said.

  “It’s like I don’t even exist.”

  “Kyle, you’re wasted,” Colton said from the backseat. “You’re my twin. Of course, I know you.”

  “No, you don’t,” Kyle said sadly. “You think you do, but you don’t. You wouldn’t love me anymore if you did.”

  Colton snorted. “Man, you are completely wasted. Ten bucks says you puke before we make it back home—or maybe in the car.”

  I shot Kyle a look. “Don’t you dare.”

  “Deal, and don’t be thinking I’m too drunk to remember, Colt,” Kyle said, spirits seeming to lift as they shook on it—though, they sank again in the next breath. “Why can’t anyone know me?”

  My best friend looked to me, and the miserable look in his eyes made my heart clench. I knew he hadn’t told anyone else. It had always made me feel kind of special, that I was the only one he’d felt comfortable enough to tell his deepest secret. But right then, I really wished he would’ve come out, owned all of who he is—though I couldn’t even begin to understand how hard that must be. I had to believe that his family would still love and accept him like I had.

  “Why can’t anyone know who I am and just…love me?”

  Taking a deep breath, I turned back to the road. “I love you, Kyle. You know that.”

  “I do,” he said, and I saw him nodding out of the corner of my eye. “But not in that way.”

  In exactly that way, I thought with a pang in my chest. In the most tragic way imaginable.

  “I really shouldn’t have kissed Anna tonight,” he breathed, head drooping to the side.

  “Excuse me, what?”

  He didn’t answer.

  “Kyle?” I said.

  A minute later I drove into Anna’s driveway and looked over to find him asleep. He’d dropped that bomb and then escaped to dreamland. Unfortunately, I wasn’t that lucky.

  Throwing the car into park, my mind was reeling. I didn’t notice Colton leading the girls out of the backseat, walking them to the front door. All I could hear were Kyle’s last words. He’d kissed someone else? He’d kissed a complete stranger? Wait a minute. He’d kissed…a girl? I really didn’t know how to feel about that, so I settled somewhere between shocked and hollow.

  My God, I thought.

  Kyle, my best friend who couldn’t possibly ever love me back because he was gay, had kissed a girl…

  …and it wasn’t me.

  My eyes pricked with tears, but I wouldn’t let them fall. I especially wouldn’t let them fall in the presence of the person who had just gotten back into the car. Colton leaned forward, putting his head between the seats, and looked over at his brother.

  “I figured we owed them both a ride considering Kyle was all over Anna at the party.”

  “Yeah,” I said, hearing the bitterness in my tone, “and you being all over Liz had absolutely nothing to do with it.”

  I swallowed my feelings, locked them inside, but as Colton turned, his eyes seemed to look right through me. His clear gaze proved that he was not nearly as drunk as I’d first thought.

  “You’re wishing it was you aren’t you,” he said.

  I scoffed. “If you think for one second I’d want your mouth on me—”

  “Not that, you idiot. You’re wishing Kyle had kissed you instead of Anna.”

  “Shhh,” I hissed. My eyes shot to the side. Luckily, Kyle was absolutely dead to the world. “I was not.”

  “That’s good,” he said. “It didn’t mean anything, and Kyle felt awful afterward. That’s why he got shit-faced drunk and nearly puked on her.”

  “Oh,” I said, looking away. “Like I said, I wasn’t wishing that.”

  “Sure you weren’t.”

  Pulling back onto the road, I began driving the familiar path to the Bishops’ house. It was about three blocks from where I lived, and I knew the way like the back of my hand, could find their little two story in my sleep I’d been there so often. This, of course, meant there was absolutely nothing to distract me from my thoughts of Kyle…and Anna…and Kyle kissing Anna…and Anna kissing him back…and—

  A low chuckle brought my focus from the endless kissing cycle to the backseat.

  “What?” I said, capturing Colton’s eyes in the mirror.

  “I was just thinking about what you said.” Another chuckle escaped.

  I knew I shouldn’t ask, but… “What did I say?”

  His blue eyes were swimming with mirth. “In case you didn’t notice, Liz was the one all over me, not the other way around.”

  “Oh from what I saw, it seemed pretty mutual.”

  “I can’t help it if girls want me,” he said, stretching his arms out. “Being this damn fine is both a gift and a curse. Great looks come with great responsibility.”

  I laughed. “Do you even hear yourself? Because you seriously sound like such a dork, right now—and a little like Spiderman.”

  “And as for my mouth being on you…”

  The words were like a shock to my system.

  “You should be so lucky, Sadie Day.”

  When we reached their house, I pulled into the driveway, shut off the engine and turned to face the boy who had always known just what to say to get under my skin. His pierced eyebrow was cocked like I’d known it would be. He wore his usual grin. Colton’s whole face was a mixture of smug and arrogant, and as usual, it pushed all my buttons.

  “Get over yourself, Colton. Like I’d want what every other girl has already had.”

  Slowly leaning forward, not taking his eyes off mine, Colton rested his arms between the seats. He lifted a hand to toy with the ends of my hair.

  “One kiss from me would ruin you for life.”

  I hated how that one sentence affected me. I didn’t know why, but his words, the way he was looking at me sent a shiver down my spine. Revulsion, I thought. I was just freaked that he was touching me—well, my hair. Pushing the offending hand away, I scoffed.

  “Yeah, right.”

  “It’s a fact.” Colton’s chuckle feathered against my face. “I corrupt good girls like you, Sister Sadie. You really need to let loose.” He plucked at the top button of my cardigan, and again, I slapped his ha
nd away. “Stop being so buttoned-up all the time. Stop being so good.”

  “I’m not that good,” I said, nose scrunched.

  As he laughed and jumped out of the car, I met him on the other side to help with Kyle. It took several stumbling tries, but we eventually dragged him out, me taking one arm, Colton grabbing the other. Kyle wasn’t helping at all. He was truly lights-out to the world, and it took some maneuvering to get him up the stairs of their porch and to the door.

  “Listen Sadie,” Colton began, “I’m only saying this because you’re my brother’s best friend. It’s not like I enjoy pissing you off.”

  I pursed my lips, waited.

  “Okay, okay.” The grin was back like he couldn’t help himself. “I do kinda like pissing you off. But seriously, Sadie, you need to wake up.”

  “Hello, I’m standing right here,” I said. “I am awake.”

  Colton shook his head. “No. You’re not.”

  “Colton, it’s late. Your brother’s arm is heavy, and I don’t have time for this.”

  “You really go to a party tonight?”

  “Yes,” I said, eyes narrowed, “I really went to a party tonight.”

  With senior citizens and a Bingo tournament.

  “Why?”

  Kyle let out another groan and shifted his head onto my shoulder. Without meaning to do it, my hand rose to pat down his hair. Usually styled to perfection, right then, like everything else about him, it was a mess.

  “Poor Kyle,” I said.

  “At least he had fun tonight.” Colton shook his head as I frowned. “At least he knows how to have fun. Sadie, it’s senior year, and you’re sleeping your way right through it.”

  “I said it once, and I’ll say it again because apparently you don’t listen,” I gritted my teeth. “I’m not asleep.”

  “Just because your eyes are open doesn’t mean you’re awake.”

  I blinked. “You sound like a fortune cookie.”

  “Whatever, smartass.”

  “No, keep going,” I said. “I like fortune cookies. Please Buddha, tell me more.”

  “I was trying to help.”

  Kyle let out another groan.

  “I don’t need your help,” I said. “And I have tons of fun. Tons.”