by Noe Dearden
*****
Lunchtime. The second worst time of the day.
Emi had taken to bringing her own bag lunch so she could withdraw to a discrete spot and eat alone. She didn’t like stopping by the cafeteria. Kainoa and his group were always at the table near the checkout line, which made an awkward encounter all but inevitable.
As she trudged towards her favorite hideout by the administration building, it occurred to Emi that this behavior was needlessly pathetic. There were plenty of people who would gladly eat lunch with her. She could simply ask to join them and do away with all this sulking and moping.
But truthfully, she didn’t like the idea of imposing herself on a pre-existing group of friends. It was admitting defeat. Saying, yes, she had been ousted from the “cool” crowd and demoted to whatever spare clique would take her in. But even so, that was probably preferable to eating alone in the parking lot behind the administration building.
She bee-lined for the cafeteria, mentally preparing her next move. She decided she would sit with the nice, bland girls from her chemistry lab group. They would definitely let her join them.
She stepped into the noisy cafeteria from a side-entrance. The bland girls were sitting a few tables away. That group was approachable for the same reason Emi did not want to approach them: nobody cared about those girls. They didn’t matter. They would let anyone sit with them, because they had nothing to gain, nothing to lose. They were eminently forgettable.
Inexplicably, Emi found herself passing them, and weaving through the crowd towards the front tables.
As expected, Kainoa was there near the front, along with Ethan, Lance, Natalie, Marina and Tori. Natalie and Marina were sharing a slice of strawberry cheesecake. Kainoa had his hand around Natalie’s back.
The sight of their group resurrected dark thoughts of yesterday’s confrontation with Ethan in PE class. His stinging words were still fresh in her mind, especially the stupid nicknames that Marina and Tori had purportedly called her.
Emi had trusted those girls. She had laughed, and shared silly jokes, and made herself vulnerable in front of them. All that time, they had secretly been passing judgment on her. It was sickening.
A few choice obscenities quivered at the edge of her tongue and a dull, pulsing anger seized her muscles.
Meanwhile, the voice in the back of her head warned, Don’t do it, Emi. You’re going to make things worse. Let it go. They don’t deserve you…
But Emi shut out the voice. Her anger was a long time coming. She was past all reason now.
In a daze, she found herself walking the rest of the distance to Kainoa’s table and towering over him. Six pairs of eyes looked up at her. They had all stopped eating.
“Hey,” Kainoa said in a guarded voice.
The girls were sending eyebrow messages across the table to one another.
Now that Emi found herself standing at their table, she realized she had no idea what to say next.
Without any pre-meditation, she made a decision.
“I’m sitting here today,” she announced. She dragged a chair between Marina and Natalie and dropped her bag on the table.
What could they do? Physically remove her? The thought inspired a rather amusing mental image.
Everybody was speechless, but the looks they shared with one another spoke volumes. They thought she was losing her marbles.
“Is this strawberry cheesecake?” Emi asked, pulling the plate closer to her.
She plucked the fork from Natalie’s fingers and served herself a mouthful. “Mmm,” she said with exaggerated gusto. “How nice of you to share.”
Ignoring their shocked expressions, she put the remaining cheesecake in her mouth and continued speaking with forced cheerfulness. “Even Anorexorcists can’t resist the siren call of cheesecake.”
She reveled in the look of disbelief plastered on Tori’s face. This was priceless. Grabbing Tori’s half-full can of diet coke, she chugged, managing to choke down the fizzy, sugary mix.
“Carcinogenic sludge! My favorite,” she said.
Kainoa took the soda can away from her. “Okay, Emi. This is getting a little weird.”
“Weird? Why? I’m just sitting here, enjoying my lunch.”
Marina murmured something under her breath.
“Sorry, what was that?” Emi asked. “Why don’t you repeat that a little louder so we can all hear?”
Marina’s manner was unsmiling and unapologetic. She spoke slowly, emphasizing each word. “I said: this is pathetic.”
Emi and Marina glared at one another. “You’re right.” Emi turned to the rest of the group. “I do find it pathetic that you’re all so deeply insecure that you need to treat me like dog excrement to bolster your pitiful egos.”
Emi expected Marina to volley something back at her, but it was Natalie who reacted next. She rose to her unimpressive height of 5’3, and in a quiet, commanding voice, said, “If you’re going to act this way, just leave, Emi.”
Emi sat stubbornly back in her chair. “Why?”
“I don’t like people who talk dirt to my friends.”
“They dish it right back at me,” Emi said. “Why don’t you ask them to leave?”
Natalie’s expression shifted from disdain to sadness. “You’re not a friend, Emi. You stopped being a friend a long time ago.”
Something in Natalie’s tone threw Emi for a loop. She wanted to take Natalie aside and ask her what was really going on, but then Natalie started crying. Kainoa placed a protective hand around her shoulders and glared at Emi.
“Oh, great. Here come the waterworks,” Emi said in annoyance.
Kainoa looked at her, furious.
“What? She’s the one who stole my boyfriend,” Emi said. “If anyone should be crying here, it’s probably me.”
“She didn’t ‘steal’ anyone,” Kainoa said with obvious frustration. “Look, I told you I was sorry about what happened this summer. But we’re broken up, Emi. It’s over. You have to stop doing this.”
“Doing what? If Natalie cries every time I enter a room, that’s not my problem.”
Natalie’s face was tear-streaked. She started putting the remains of her lunch back into its brown paper sack. “Let’s not do this. Not here.”
Kainoa helped Natalie into her backpack and murmured something into her ear.
“Is this why you like her, Kainoa?” Emi asked. “Because she needs you to protect her all the time? She makes you feel more of a man?”
“That’s it,” Kainoa snapped. He stood and took a step towards Emi.
“Take it easy,” Lance said warily, but Kainoa took no notice.
“I want you to apologize,” he said, hovering over Emi’s seat.
Emi frowned up at him. “You have this so backwards, Kainoa.”
Tori, who had been silent, said to the others, “Let’s just go, you guys.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Kainoa said. “Not until Emi…”
“I have nothing to apologize for,” Emi interrupted stoutly.
Kainoa put his hand around her wrist. She tried to wriggle out of his grasp, but he was holding her tightly.
“Let go,” she said through clenched teeth.
“Come on, man,” Lance said. “She’s not worth it.
Emi shot him a dirty look. “Nobody asked your opinion, bonehead.”
Kainoa grasped her under the arm and pulled her into a standing position.
“Ow!” she shouted, even though he was not actually hurting her.
People around the cafeteria were beginning to stare.
“Why do you always do this?” he asked. He still had his hand on her shoulder, and he was moving forward, forcing her to step back. “You’re always making drama. Always stirring the pot.”
“There wouldn’t be drama if you hadn’t cheated on me in the first place,” she spat. She pushed against him, hard. He must not have expected her to retaliate physically, because he stumbled backwards, tripping over a chair and c
ausing a huge clatter before finding his footing. They had most of the cafeteria’s attention now.
“Is there a problem?” someone asked from behind Emi’s shoulder.
Her stomach filled with dread. Great. Exactly what she needed. A teacher reporting the disturbance to the office. She would have to explain it to the deans, and then her mom would find out, and her dad, and then there would be hell to pay.
Emi turned apprehensively on her heel.
Instead of finding a teacher standing there, she came face to face with Josh Stokowski of all people.
She had to do a double take to be sure her eyes weren’t deceiving her.
“This guy’s bothering you?” Josh asked her, nodding at Kainoa.
“Um…” Emi was so baffled she couldn’t form words.
“Come with me,” Josh said. “Come on.”
Dumb with shock, Emi grabbed her lunch and followed Josh out the cafeteria. She caught a passing glance at the confused expression shared by all her ex-friends and almost laughed at the sight of it.