by Noe Dearden
*****
After French class on Friday afternoon, Ms. Labarge called Emi and Josh to her desk. They walked stiffly to the front of the room, careful not to make eye contact with each other. They had managed to make it through their presentation remaining civil, not letting yesterday’s argument get in the way, but there was still a palpable friction between them.
“Vous avez fait du bon travail, aujourd’hui,” Ms. Labarge said with a smile.
Emi breathed a sigh of relief. She had worried Ms. Labarge sensed the tension and was going to ask what was going on. Instead, it turned out she just wanted to congratulate them on a job well down for their oral presentation.
“You two work very well together,” she said. “We should you pair you up more often.”
Emi barked out a sardonic laugh, occasioning a questioning look from her teacher.
“Uh, Merci, madam,” she said quickly. “Bon week-end!”
She shuffled out of the class after Josh, who was walking at his usual break-neck speed towards the bus stop. She knew she had to confront him. All last night, she had wrestled over what to say to Josh, and had ultimately come to the conclusion that she had to swallow her pride and apologize.
“Josh, wait,” she said. She ran forward, blocking his path. “Wait.”
He didn’t speak, but he appeared to be listening, so she plowed on.
“You were right about everything yesterday,” she said. “I dragged you into this mess with my boyfriend and all my … I don’t know, all my insecurities after the break up, I guess. And I used you to make Kainoa jealous, which, is kind of flattering to you if you really think about it, but also totally disrespectful, I know, because I didn’t take your feelings into account. I’m really ashamed that I acted the way I did, and I promise I’ll just leave you alone from here on out. But just so you know, I really did like meeting your family, and I didn’t think they were ‘freaks’ or whatever you said yesterday. I think it’s amazing that you’re so responsible about helping with your siblings, and I think they’re lucky to have you as their big brother. ” She stepped away. “I guess that’s all I have to say. But anyway, I’m sorry for everything I did to you.”
He nodded his head, as if he didn’t trust himself to speak at first. “Okay,” he said, and resumed walking.
She frowned. “Okay?” she echoed. “What kind of okay? Okay you accept my apology? Or okay you’re still mad at me?”
“Ambivalent okay.”
“So…does that mean you’re still angry?”
He stopped walking and faced her.
“I like you, Emi. Okay? I liked you the minute I saw you in seventh grade, when you sat across from me in Ms. Young’s homeroom, and you were the only person who smiled. I liked that you weren’t afraid to stand up for your opinions in social studies when we had that awful teacher who shot everyone down. I liked that you always thanked the bus driver when you got off the #1 for your ballet class. I like that you never wear makeup and you still look better than all the other girls at school. I like that you sing the loudest in chapel, even though you have a horrible singing voice, and that you’re always dancing. Every chance you get, you’re dancing, because you love doing it. Did you know that you even look like you’re dancing when you walk? It’s true. You have bouncy feet. And when you started paying attention to me this year, I knew it was too good to be true. And I was right, wasn’t I?”
He walked away fast, leaving Emi standing there in shock. She shouldn’t have asked what he meant by okay. Sometimes, it was better not to know.
Chapter 13