by Noe Dearden
*****
Meanwhile, Emi was dancing alone. Only a few feet away, she couldn’t see Charlotte through the wall of sweaty, dancing bodies wedged between them. She was lost in her own world anyway, grateful for the thunderous music drowning out her thoughts. She danced to forget herself and all the day’s concerns and confusions.
Her reverie was broken halfway through a hip-hop song when she collided backwards into Kainoa.
“Hey,” he said, over the din of music. “I’ve been looking for you.”
She looked around for his posse, but there was only him.
“Where’s Natalie?” she asked.
“Huh?”
The music made conversation all but impossible. He started dancing. When Kainoa wasn’t in ballet-mode, he had a style all his own, marked by a distinctive economy of movement that was both precise and elegant. He stood facing her, leaving a good two feet of space between their bodies.
Tentatively, she joined him, careful to maintain the distance. It was perfect not having to speak, just being allowed to coexist by his side, sharing the experience of the music and the crowd and the lights. For a moment, it felt like old times.
After several songs, Kainoa pointed towards the exit. She nodded and they weaved their way through the tent and pushed outside.
Emi breathed in the cooler air gratefully. Kainoa was already several steps ahead of her, going towards the monk seal habitat.
“These guys are the best,” he said. “All they ever do is sleep and eat. They’re like fat, hairless housecats.”
The two seals were lounging on some fake boulders in their cage, looking bored and listless.
“Speaking of fat, hairless housecats, where’s Natalie?” Emi asked.
“She’s not here,” he said. “We had a fight.”
Emi was surprised he’d let her disparaging comment about Natalie pass.
“We argue constantly,” he said a little glumly.
“That’s too bad.” She tried to keep her voice neutral. She wanted to make a snide comment about who the drama queen was now, but held her tongue. “What do you fight about?”
He leaned forward, hunching his shoulders, looking over his shoulder at her. “You, mostly.”
Emi didn’t know what to say to that, so she feigned a sudden coughing fit.
“Listen, Emi,” Kainoa said. “We need to talk. Can we go somewhere quieter?”
“That depends. Are you going to lecture me about being nicer to Natalie?” Emi asked.
He shook his head. “This is different.”
Intrigued, she followed him past the crowds and into the darkened aquarium, where blue light shone from the giant tanks lining the walls of the gallery. It was close to empty, with most of the students dancing in the tent now. A few disembodied voices echoed throughout the mazelike chambers, where colored sea creatures shimmered like jewels all around them.
She pursued him into an empty grotto near the shark tanks and sat cross-legged on the floor where it was dark and private.
“I miss you,” he said once they were settled.
Emi was staggered. “Uh…can you say that again?”
“Natalie is driving me nuts. She gets mad at everything I do, and then we have to talk about it on the phone for about three hours afterwards, at which point she starts crying, and I have no idea what she’s crying about.”
It took all of Emi’s willpower to resist the urge to stand up and do a little jig of delight. “Hmm,” she said in what she hoped was a sympathetic tone of voice.
“I’m at the end of my rope, Em.”
“Natalie was always a bit high strung. And her mom is sort of…”
“Crazy!” Kainoa filled in. “I know! She keeps asking me what college I’m going to go to. I’m like, ‘dude, I’m only a sophomore. Chill out.’”
“Natalie’s mom once told me I was going to die because I ate a piece of burned pizza. She actually said that. ‘YOU WILL DIE.’”
Kainoa cracked up. “She’s certifiable. No wonder Natalie is such a mess.”
“What are you going to do?” Emi asked.
“It’s not my problem any more. I broke up with her.”
Emi sat back on her heels. “Oh. Wow. That was fast.”
“Believe me, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.”
Something occurred to Emi. “But what about everyone else? It looked like Marina and Tori were getting really close to her.”
“No. They hate her, too,” Kainoa said. “They think it’s disgusting how she wants to make out with me in public all the time. They call it ‘pathetic displays of affection,’ behind her back. And it’s true. She has her hands all over me in dance class. It’s obnoxious. Even Madam had to tell her to lay off the other day.”
Emi knew she shouldn’t take pleasure in this conversation, but secretly found it deeply gratifying.
His hand went to her face and he tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear. “I should never have left you,” he said. “Do you think…do you think you can forgive me?”
Deep in her heart, Emi knew she should say no. She knew that if she had any dignity left, she would tell him he had lost his chance. He was a scumbag and a player and a cheat and she deserved so much better.
But stronger than all that resentment was a longing to go back to what they’d had in the past, before everything became complicated. Last year, life made perfect sense. She and Kainoa had danced and laughed and hung out together without a care in the world. His friends had accepted her. People had admired her and she had felt invincible.
If she took Kainoa back, life could go back to that. She could return to dance class as Kainoa’s girlfriend. She could have friends to sit with at lunchtime. Most importantly, she wouldn’t be that girl who was dumped for someone better. She’d be the girl so desirable, so incomparable, that her boyfriend begged to win her back. She’d have her dignity back.
So Emi laced her fingers into his and told him, “Yes.”