by Finn, Emilia
Kane: Touch his leg and watch his cock grow. I guarantee you’ll get your answer.
Me: What if I don’t? What if I ruin everything? I could ruin our vacation. I could ruin our friendship. I could break something that’s already pretty good.
Kane: What if you don’t ruin anything? What if he’s waiting for you to tell him you like him, too? This friendship that you think is already pretty good could be magical if you gave it a chance. He’s too gentle with you, he won’t make the move. I know it sucks, it makes him a pussy for not stepping up, but he can’t do it. He’s scared of hurting you.
I angle my screen away and glance at Ang.
He’s scared of hurting me? Do I believe Kane? Should I? He’s usually a troublemaker that enjoys drama. Is he setting me up for a hilarious rejection, or is he speaking truth?
Me: Why are you telling me this stuff? What about the whole bros before hoes, and not telling your bro’s secrets?
Kane: I don’t give a fuck about his secrets. I choose my hoes any day. But seriously, the dude likes you. He doesn’t wanna scare you. If you wanted to sit on his lap right now and show him what you got, I promise to look away.
Me: You’re a pig.
Kane: I know.
Me: And I hate you.
Kane: No, you don’t. Don’t make this into more than it is. Just hang out like you already do, but now, sit closer. Touch. Bat your fuckin’ lashes. He’ll figure it out.
Kane: PS: How did you people sleep in the same room last night and not already fuck? Jessie thought I was a criminal, and my hand was still in her panties on the first day.
Jess: Kane! Stop.
Kane: What? It’s true!
Jess: No, I meant stop pretending you aren’t a criminal.
He lets out a dirty chuckle and draws Ang’s curious glance in the rearview mirror. My hands shake as I rush out one last text.
Me: Okay, shut up now. He’s gonna know we’re talking about him. I’ve got this.
Kane: You don’t have shit, but I believe in you. Make it happen. The worst that’ll happen is he’ll say no.
Me: That’s pretty bad!
Kane: But it’s suuuuper unlikely. It’s way more likely he jizzes in his pants, and when he’s sure you’re into it, he’s gonna work out about fifteen years of sexual frustration. Get ready to be fucked till you chafe, baby girl. But don’t worry – Jessie likes it.
I toss my phone onto the bench seat and sigh. He’s such a pig. Everyone else in my world is so gentle with me, so wary of triggering one of my breakdowns, but not Kane. He just pushes full steam ahead. Push, push, push until the sexually traumatized woman doesn’t even blink at ‘Get ready to be fucked till you chafe.’
I love that he doesn’t tread carefully around me. I love that he allows me the freedom to be the old me, because the old me would’ve been salivating at the idea of being fucked so thoroughly I’ll walk away with chafe.
All men aren’t Graham.
And all sex isn’t without consent.
I pull in long breaths to steel my nerves. Drag it in, in, in until my lungs want to explode, then let it out and clench my hands to stop the shaking.
I catch a glimpse of a snickering Kane in the backseat, but he pulls Jess into a demonstrational video of what he thinks I should do with Ang and pretends he’s not paying attention to everything I do.
I stop overthinking every move I make, stop worrying about rejection – sort of – and lean into Ang until my seatbelt pulls me up short. I tap his muscular thigh and try my best to quell the giddiness swirling through my belly. “Hey… Are you okay?”
The muscle in his thigh twitches beneath my fingers. With flickering eyes, he adjusts his hat. “Uh-huh. I’m great. What about you?”
* * *
Whether Ang drove faster than he should have, or Kane just made us stop less often, we pull around a long winding road around six that night – earlier than predicted, but not at all unwanted – and find ourselves at our destination.
With the sun at our backs and the cool breeze on our faces, the world opens up and the ocean presents itself in all her glory.
Seagulls fly overhead, and fishing trawlers float half a mile out, bobbing in the calm water. The wind whips my hair back, but it’s not annoyingly windy; just the effects of a topless car and the opening of the coast.
“Baby!” Jess bounces in the backseat. “Baby! Baby! Baby! We made it!”
For once in my life, I think I resemble a duck in the water. That’s not who I normally am – calm on the outside, but frantic on the inside. Usually I’m a ‘you get what you see’ kind of girl, but not today. Today, my heart pounds a million miles an hour, and inside, I’m doing cartwheels and screaming Jessie! Jessie! Jessie! Jessie! while on the outside, I just smile, look out at the edge of the world, and allow the soft waves to lull me into the first true sense of freedom in… forever.
“Laine?” Ang leans toward me with concern etched into his handsome features. “Are you okay?”
“Mm.” For this one minute while I sit on the edge of the world and freedom swirls in my blood, I bravely toss my worries aside and take Ang’s hand in mine. His eyes shoot down to my lap in surprise, but I simply twine our fingers together and rest our joined hands on my leg.
He doesn’t reject me.
He doesn’t freak out.
And if I looked close enough, I bet his pulse races as fast as mine.
“I’m great. It’s beautiful, right?”
He turns back to the road and eases my heavy car around a soft curve. “So beautiful.” He sits back in the seat and grins. And still, his hand remains in mine. “Stunning, really.”
“We’re going to this place up here.” Kane sits forward and pokes his nose between me and Ang. “See the big white one?” He points out a twenty-story luxury hotel right across the street from the beach.
The bottom, outside layer is like a plaza of cafés and boutique stores, with big gleaming glass doors that automatically spin, welcoming guests as they walk from one world to the next.
Sand and sun outside.
Crystal chandeliers and fine dining on the inside.
“We’re staying there?” I glance back. “That place is gonna be expensive.”
“It’s already done, Twink. We get bulk booking discount.”
Ang pulls the Buick into the valet parking as three young men in suits catch sight of the classic car and shove each other aside to get to us first.
So much for fancy.
Ang switches the rumbling engine off once we park under the large awning, and when two of those boys come to open mine and Jessie’s doors, they back up fast when Kane and Ang glare. Without releasing my hand, Ang slides out his side and pulls me along while my heart slams against my chest, making me dizzy.
The pressure on the back of my head as Kane and Jess stare almost makes me want to release my grip on Ang, but no way in hell will I let go. I won’t give in to them.
“The car belongs to her.” Ang drops the keys into the winner’s hands. “Not gonna scratch her car, are you?”
“No, sir.”
“Not gonna take it for a joy ride either, are you?”
His scared eyes come to me. Then to Ang. And when Jess and Kane step forward to complete the wall of weirdness, the boy’s eyes flip from Jess to me. Jess to me. Jess to me.
“There are two of ‘em.”
“And they’ll both whale on your ass if you scratch that car.” Kane’s lips twitch when the boy’s face drains white. I think he’s more concerned with the tattooed thug than he is with the threat of a couple twins beating on him.
Maybe.
“You’re gonna take care of this car, aren’t you?”
“Yes, sir.”
“And you’ll bring the bags up once you park it, right?”
“Uh-huh. Yes, sir.”
“Good.” Kane slaps his hand into the boy’s to shake, and when he pulls away, the kid is fifty bucks richer. “We’ll be checking in. Please bring our stuff u
p fast; we have somewhere to be, and the girls need their clothes.”
Instead of stuttering and risking his fifty dollars, the boy turns on his heel and slides into the Buick.
“And don’t eat our candy!” Jess adds. “Not even the pieces on the floor. We know how much is there.”
I turn away until my nose practically rests against Ang’s chest. “That poor kid.” As soon as he drives away, I swipe out and smack Jess’ arm. “If he wants to eat spilled candy, let him! You’re all so mean with your intimidation game. He’s probably terrified.”
“So long as he doesn’t scratch the car or eat the candy, he’ll be fine. It’s a pretty easy system to understand.” Ang squeezes my hand, drawing my eyes up. “You ready to go in?”
I nod, but remain mute, because if I speak, it might come out something like ‘did you ever wonder what it would be like to kiss me?’
That kind of word-vomit isn’t healthy for anyone, so I let him lead me inside, and when Kane watches us with a salacious grin, I turn my nose up and pretend he’s not worth my attention.
“Welcome! Checking in?”
“Yeah.” Ang steps forward and drops his wallet on the high desk. “We’ve got rooms booked.” He turns to Kane. “Under Bishop?”
“Yeah. Two rooms, five nights, under Bishop.”
“I see you in our system, sir.” The woman, maybe mid-fifties and kind of dull, but in a comfortable homely way, taps away at her computer and smiles like she’s genuinely happy to see us. “Booked online and already paid up. Breakfast is included for four each day.” She works her computer and prints receipts. “Elevators are that way. Saltwater Restaurant is on the second floor. Breakfast buffet is open from six till eleven, seven days a week. And from five onwards, they do dinner. It’s five star and black tie, so if you’re looking for something fancy, dress up and come down. Otherwise, the boardwalk is packed with restaurants; fish and chips, burgers, steak. There’s an Italian restaurant close by, and a Thai place at the end of the block.”
She collects printouts from under her desk. “Rooms seven-one-three, and seven-one-four.”
“Next door?” Ang glances at Jess and Kane. “How’s the soundproofing?”
The woman doesn’t giggle like her immature guests, she maintains her professionalism and shakes her head. “Rooms are soundproofed. You won’t hear your neighbors, and unless your balcony doors are open, you won’t hear the boardwalk. Weekends tend to get noisy outside, so if you’re looking for peace and quiet, keep the balcony doors closed and you won’t hear a peep.” She slides two room packages over the desk, one with ‘713’ handwritten on the front, the other with ‘714’. “Seventh floor. You need your passes to work the elevator. Do you need someone to bring your luggage up?”
“Some kid out front is already doing that,” Ang answers. “Parking?”
She points to the floor. “Beneath us. The garage is locked twenty-four-seven. Use your keycard to get in and out. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“That’s it.” Kane lunges forward and snatches one of the room sets. “Jessie and I have gotta go inspect our room. Catch you guys in the hall at seven for dinner. Dress up, we’re gonna be respectable citizens for the evening.”
Jess notices the way my face turns white. She doesn’t want to honor her promise – she wants to bunk with Kane – but a promise is a promise, and Kane’s enthusiasm won’t change that. “Baby? Girls bunk together?”
“Um…” Ang releases my hand for the first time since we saw the coastline. He steps back and gives me what he thinks is space, but in my warped mind, is rejection. “Can we get a third room? I don’t wanna split you and Kane.”
“No rooms left, Twink.” Kane grabs the second card set and slaps them against my palm. “They got something happening this weekend, which is why I booked online. Lucky, or we might’ve been sleeping on the beach.”
“Lucky…” I study my cards with shaking hands. “Um. Okay. Ang.” I turn to him and curse the quiver in my voice. “Do you mind?”
His eyes narrow. “Do I mind what?”
“Sharing a room, again… I know it’s a little weird. This isn’t how this trip was supposed to go, but when we planned it, I never expected to be the third wheel. Now I am, and I’d feel bad about splitting them up.”
“It’s not weird to me.” He steps closer and takes the cards. “We had the same room last night. It wasn’t weird. As long as you’re okay with it, I’m okay with it.”
I turn back to the woman. “How many beds in this room?”
“It’s a king suite.” She smiles like that should impress me. “One king-sized bed.”
Awesome. I turn back to Ang. “One bed.”
“It’s a giant ass bed, Twink.” Kane pushes me toward the elevators and leaves the others behind. “I bet if you tried real hard, you’d be able to build a pillow wall between yourselves.” When we’re far enough away, he leans in uncomfortably close and whispers, “Or do that ball tickling thing we talked about. Won’t want a pillow wall then.”
I slam my elbow into his ribs and take a small amount of satisfaction when the breath whistles from his lungs. “Shut your stupid face. You think I don’t know what you’ve done? I bet there are plenty of rooms available, and if there aren’t, this town is full of hotels. I bet you chose the only one that had two rooms left. I might be blonde, Bishop, but I’m not stupid.”
When Jess and Ang catch up with us at the elevators, he steps back with raised hands and winks. “And if it wasn’t for you meddlin’ kids, I woulda gotten away with it.”
“Pig.”
“It’s like you and Jessie are related; she mentions the blonde thing a lot, too.” He drags Jessie against his body and smacks a wet kiss on her cheek. “We’re gonna take the stairs. I gotta stretch my legs out.”
Jess’ lips firm. “Seven flights, Bish. Are you insane?”
“Not insane.” He slaps her ass and hustles her toward the staircase. “But I wanna make out with my girl some. An elevator ride will end in twenty seconds. Stairs give us so much more time.”
Groaning, I turn back when the elevator doors slide open. “Whatever. This is only weird if we let it be weird.”
Ang steps in behind me. “You say something?”
“Just that I hate Kane Bishop’s stupid guts.”
He leans against the back wall when the doors close and lock us into the tiny space. “He’s… intense.”
“He’s a troublemaker.”
He nods. “That’s true. Listen… This is okay, right? I feel like you’re being forced to share a room you don’t wanna share, and it makes me feel like a dick. I’m not here to ruin your vacation.” His gray eyes study mine. “This doesn’t have to be a big deal. I can make other arrangements.”
A long pause sits between us, a pillow wall of sorts that no one wants to cross. “Do you want to stay somewhere else? Would you be more comfortable with your own room?”
“This trip is about you, Laine, not me. I’m just the other third wheel.” Bending his neck and staring into my eyes, he forces my heart into a tailspin. “I just want you to be happy. I want you to tell me what you want, and then I’ll make it happen. No hard feelings if you’d prefer I slept in the bath.”
It’s like I’m fifteen again and on the verge of kissing a cute boy, because a nervous giggle slides along my throat, stopping on a squeak when the elevator doors ding open. Cowardly, I race into the hall before he calls me out for being weird, but he easily catches up and pulls me around to face the fire.
He stands close enough that the oxygen clogs in my lungs while he stares into my eyes and licks his lips. “Laine…”
I swallow nervously. “Um…”
“Give me some answers.”
“Okay.” Please, please, please! Don’t ask me anything too important. I was ready to be brave, but it’s fled. Gone. MIA.
“Do you want me to stay elsewhere? I won’t get mad, I promise.”
“It’s not that–”
&nb
sp; A shake of his head cuts me off. “One word answers. One single word. Yes or no.”
I blow out a gusty breath. “No. I don’t want you to stay elsewhere.”
Smiling, he squeezes my hand. “Good. It’s one bed. Do you trust me to be that close? I’m not like other guys. I promise I’ll never hurt you. I’ll stay on my side, and I won’t bother you.”
“It’s okay.” I lick my parched lips and focus on the way his eyes drop to the movement. “Um… I trust you. You’re Ang.”
He nods. “I’m Ang.”
“Ang is safe. You’ve never hurt me.”
“Right.” Uncharacteristically, he chucks my chin and flashes a handsome grin. “I never have, I never will. You can trust me.”
He steps around me and swipes the card over the lock. The red light flashes green, and a door much sturdier than that at the Cherry Drop opens to an opulent room whose main focal point is not the massive bed in the center, though it’s plush and amazing, nor is it the giant wall of glass that shows off the ocean for as far as the horizon stretches.
No, the main focus is a black grand piano on a tiled platform closest to the double glass doors.
“Fuck me.” Forgetting me and the open door, Ang crosses the room and makes a beeline straight for the gleaming instrument that takes up a good portion of the space.
The sun is setting behind the hotel, so heavy drapes and lacy curtains throw the room into a mess of shadows, but the sunlight reflecting off of the ocean seeps through the lacy curtains and bounces off the black piano, almost like it’s in a spotlight.
“Bish’s credit card is on this room? Do we know where he got his money from?” Ang circles the piano and trails his fingertips over the gleaming frame. “Bösendorfer.” He practically salivates over the expensive piano, stroking it in a way that sends my mind spiraling.
“The same as yours?”
He looks up in wonder. Grins. “Yeah, exactly the same. You remember?”
“Of course.” I kick my flip-flops off near the bed and wander forward with a pulse that could compete with a hummingbird’s wings. “I spent years listening to you bitch about the one you had, and how you were going to buy one just like this one day.” I follow in his wake and trail my fingers over the ivory keys. “Then when you got yours, you were so excited.”