by Maya Banks
“I think I might surprise you, Jace,” she said in a low voice. “You know about my . . . past. I told you how things were.”
Jace’s hand cupped her cheek, his eyes suddenly fierce. “Don’t, baby. There’s no need to rehash it all. I don’t like how it hurts you, and it just reinforces in your mind that you somehow aren’t good enough for me. That’s bullshit.”
She smiled, warmed by the intensity in his tone.
“What I was going to say is that not all of that sex was vanilla. The truth is, I think I tried it all. You aren’t going to shock me. And I need to know what you expect so that I know if I can be that woman you need.”
He leaned forward until their foreheads touched. His finger traced a line over the curve of her cheek and then down to feather over her lips.
“I like a woman to be completely under my control. There is something enticing about having a woman dependent solely on me for her care, for her pleasure, for everything. I like to pamper and spoil them but I’m also demanding. The thing is, I knew a long time ago that if I ever did enter a permanent relationship my control would extend out of the bedroom and into all aspects of our life together. There aren’t a lot of women willing to sign on for that. At least, not a woman who’s in it for the right reasons.”
Her brow furrowed in confusion. “Right reasons?”
“Money,” he said grimly. “When you have as much money as I do, there are many women willing to put up with anything for what it buys them. That’s not the woman I want in my life or in my bed on a permanent basis. I want a woman who wants the same things that I do. Me in control. Me taking care of her. Me acting out my kinks with her. I want her to want me. Not my damn money, and I don’t want her to suffer a relationship she finds abhorrent because the price is right.”
“And those kinks are?”
He pulled back slightly but she caught his shoulders, forcing him to look at her.
“Tell me, Jace. You’re not going to shock me.”
“I like pain,” he said quietly. “Inflicting pain.”
He looked uneasy as he studied her for her reaction and she was careful not to give him one. Instead, she waited for what he’d say next.
When she didn’t respond, he went on, his shoulders relaxing just a bit, almost as if he’d expected her to react strongly to his admission.
“I’m not saying I abuse women. God. It makes me sick to even imagine you thinking that about me. I sound like a hypocrite. I’m violently protective of the women in my care and yet I like to inflict pain.”
“How so?”
She was still speaking calmly and he was studying her hard as if watching for her to get up and run screaming from the apartment at any time.
“Crops. Paddles. Belts. I like rough sex. I like role-playing. I like bondage. Sometimes I feel like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde because there are times when I worship the woman I’m with. Savor. Touch, kiss, make love to. And other times? I want it my way. Any way I want. Tied up, helpless. Ass reddened by my spanking. Sometimes the sex is all about her and her orgasm. But sometimes it’s all about mine.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad,” she said calmly.
“Do you understand that I would be in absolute control over every aspect of our relationship, Bethany? Do you really get that? That every decision will be made by me. Where we eat, what we eat, where we go, where you go. When we have sex. When we don’t have sex. What you wear. Who you talk to. Are you getting it yet? I’m a controlling bastard and that won’t change. Are you really willing to sign on for something like that?”
“And if I’m not?” she asked, studying him every bit as intently as he studied her.
“Then I’ll accept whatever you can give me,” he said quietly.
She sucked in her breath until she was light-headed. Oh my God. After all he’d said. After all he’d explained. He’d push down all that made him who he was just to have her.
Tears stung and she sucked in a deeper breath than before as she blinked them away. It was no use. They burned until they finally spilled over onto her cheeks. Jace looked panicked, his expression dissolving into one of self-loathing.
“Don’t cry, baby. Please don’t cry,” he whispered harshly. “We’ll work it out. I swear, it’ll be okay.”
She shook her head. “No, you don’t understand.”
“Then make me understand. What’s wrong? Why are you upset? It doesn’t have to be that way. I was just trying to make you understand me.”
She surged forward, taking his mouth with hers. He seemed stunned but didn’t push her away. Their mouths melted hot, tongues clashing wetly.
“Shut up. Just shut up and kiss me.”
He groaned. “God, baby.”
She ripped at her clothing, suddenly desperate to have nothing between them. She ripped at his until finally he helped her and their clothes went flying, this way and that, hitting the floor, the back of the couch and the coffee table.
She kissed him hungrily, her mouth moving hotly over his. She allowed all her desperation into her kiss, her hands as they roamed over his hard body. His cock was rigid between them, sandwiched tightly between their bellies. She reached down to grasp it even as she arched over him, wanting him inside her.
It registered that it was he who was supposed to be in control. He who was supposed to call the shots. But at this moment she didn’t care. She only knew she wanted him, had to seal this special connection and make it something more permanent. She had to show him, with more than words, that she wanted what he could give her. Not just wanted but needed.
She fit him to her opening and didn’t hesitate, sliding down and engulfing him in one motion. The shock of his entry made her gasp and his hands were suddenly at her hips, alleviating the pressure by lifting upward.
“Baby, no, don’t hurt yourself.”
His voice was strained and it was evident just how much he was holding back. Oh hell no. That wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted it all. Everything he had to give her. And she’d settle for nothing less.
“You’ll never hurt me,” she whispered. “Not in a way I don’t want, anyway.”
He chuckled lightly and then slid his hands to her ass, cupping as she rose up to take him all over again. This time he didn’t hold her back and she took all of him, to the balls, her ass coming to rest on his lap.
“Jesus, you feel so fucking amazing,” he breathed.
“I just want you to sit back and enjoy it,” she murmured.
His eyes glittered as he stared into hers. Then he loosened his hold and leaned back against the couch, his body going slack.
“I can do that.”
His hands skated up her body to cup her breasts and she moaned as she rose and fell again, taking him deep. She leaned into him, following him back as she pressed her body to his, trapping his hands between them.
He was big inside her, large enough that it made movement difficult, but she reveled in the tightness. Each thrust was sweet agony as he pushed through her swollen pussy. Each time his balls pushed against her ass, she gasped and closed her eyes. She was so close and they’d only just begun.
“Don’t hold back, baby. I want to watch you come. You’re so fucking beautiful, I hurt just looking at you.”
“Not without you,” she gasped out.
“Oh, I’m there. I was there the minute that sweet pussy slid down my dick.”
Needing no further encouragement, she quickened her pace, rising up and over him to give her better leverage. He palmed her breasts and then put his mouth to one nipple, sucking strongly. Then he dropped his hands back to her ass, squeezing as she shuddered against him.
“I want this ass next.” The words rumbled gruffly from his chest. “Can’t wait to get deep inside it. I didn’t have your ass that first night. I was too focused on your pussy. Didn’t want anyone else there but me. But now it’s mine and I want to fuck it.”
“Jace!”
His erotic words splintered over her, pushing her that last lit
tle bit toward her release. Her entire body bowed and then spasmed. She couldn’t even hold herself up. She needn’t have worried. Jace’s arms came around her, holding her as he took over, pushing himself up and into her, faster, harder until she was sobbing his name.
He let out a low growl. His grip was punishing. She’d wear bruises later and she didn’t care. This was what she wanted. His possession.
She shattered. There, in his arms, him powering into her body, she went to pieces. It was nearly painful. So intense that the room fuzzed around her, her vision going dim.
She dropped her head to his shoulder, panting for breath as her body convulsed and seized. He powered into her, pushing rapidly, the smack of flesh meeting flesh loud in her ears. Her entire body shook and still he thrust as if he were trying to plant himself in the deepest recesses of her soul.
Then he cried out. Her name. Bethany. It was sweet in her ears, brushing over her skin like the finest silk. Her name. She belonged to him.
He went limp, gathering her even closer until she couldn’t breathe. She didn’t complain. Didn’t say a single word as she lay sprawled across his body. He kissed her neck, her ear, and then nuzzled into her hair. It took her a moment to realize he was whispering endearments. Telling her how beautiful she was and how overcome he was that she was his, that she accepted what he wanted from her.
She curled her arms around his neck, holding on just as tightly as he held her.
“I want to stay,” she whispered.
He went rigid against her and then he sagged as if relieved. He kissed her again, moving one of his hands to push the hair from her face. Then he pulled her back so she could meet his gaze. His eyes were intense. Nearly black as he stared at her.
“You’re staying, Bethany. You’re mine now. I still don’t know if you fully know what you’ve agreed to but I’m not giving you the opportunity to back out now. You belong to me. I’m not giving you back.”
She put her hand to his cheek as he’d done to her so many times. Offering comfort and reassurance. He leaned forward and brushed his mouth across hers. Once, twice, and a third time, as if he couldn’t pull himself away.
“Why did you cry, baby?”
Just thinking back on all he’d said made her want to cry all over again. At his look of alarm, she realized she had teared up.
“Oh, Jace,” she whispered. “You can’t imagine how much it meant to me that you’d actually be willing to change who you are, what makes you who you are, because you think it’s what I want. And that you showed me the heart of you. But you have to understand, I want you. All of you. I don’t want a watered-down version of Jace. I want you. Controlling, dominant, arrogant, caring, loving, protective . . .” She trailed off, her voice husky with emotion and clouded with tears. “Do you understand?” she whispered.
He crushed her to him, still firmly embedded in her body. She could feel every heartbeat. He trembled against her as his hands tangled in her hair. Then he pulled away just enough to lean his forehead into hers, their mouths precariously close and their gazes hooded, connected.
“Don’t know what I’d do if I hadn’t found you,” he said in a stark voice. “Kills me to even think about it. Don’t know what I’d do without you. That makes me crazy too.”
“Do you get it, Jace? Really get it? I want you. I want your dominance. I need it.”
He stroked his hand down her hair, smoothing the strands, the motion comforting.
“You got me, baby. All of me. I hope to hell you’re prepared for it. But you’re getting it. All of me. One hundred percent. But you have to promise me something.”
“What?” she whispered.
He kissed her first, a light smooching, warm and breathless. When he pulled his head back, his eyes were alight with satisfaction and contentment.
“Promise me that if it’s ever too much, if you’re ever overwhelmed, if I ever push too hard or too fast, that you’ll tell me. You have to tell me. I couldn’t live with myself if I knew what I was doing was scaring you or, God, hurting you. I never want to make you feel bad about what we do.”
She kissed him this time, savoring the feel of him, of being in his arms. This was real. He was real. She was shaken to her very core by the magnitude of what was happening here. He wanted her. Her.
“I promise,” she whispered against his lips.
chapter twenty-three
Bethany waited, breathless with anticipation. Nervousness. Her stomach was full of butterflies. Jace would be home any minute. He’d texted her to let her know he was leaving the office. Nothing else. No instructions. Nothing about their plans for the evening. And in light of their heart-to-heart discussion the night before, she had a very good idea of how she wanted to be waiting for him when he arrived.
A signal of her acceptance. Her obedience. Her willingness and desire to submit to him. To forge ahead in the kind of relationship they both wanted. Not just what Jace wanted. It meant the world to her—it undid her that he’d been willing to suppress his own wants and needs if she displayed any hesitation over the parameters of the relationship he’d outlined.
And maybe that was a huge reason why she was so willing to accept without reservations the things he asked of her. Because he hadn’t demanded. He hadn’t given her an ultimatum. He’d told her how he wanted things but just as quickly let her know that if she wasn’t able or willing to commit to that lifestyle that he’d be the one to compromise and take whatever it was she felt comfortable offering.
Everything. She would give him everything. She wanted to make him happy because it’s what would make her happy.
She slipped out of her clothing and arranged it in a neat pile in one of the drawers he’d allocated for her use. He’d made noises about buying furniture for her that would be solely hers. But for now, using his space was fine. They still maintained separate residences even though more and more of her belongings had crept into his apartment.
She checked the time and knew he could be coming up the elevator even now. She quickened her pace to the living room and carefully knelt on the plush carpet in a position that afforded her a view of the elevator doors. She’d see him as soon as he stepped out, but more importantly, the very first thing he’d see when he entered the apartment would be her. Waiting. Submissive. Giving him what he most wanted from her.
The minutes ticked by with agonizing slowness. Quiet descended in the apartment and only her soft breathing could be heard. And then the sound of the elevator arriving. Her pulse quickened as the doors slid open and she stared ahead, eager to see his face, his reaction when he saw her.
He stepped inside, briefcase in hand. He locked on to her immediately and the briefcase slid from his grasp, hitting the floor with a soft thump.
“Baby,” he whispered.
Just one word but it conveyed a wealth of meaning. Surprise. Joy. Relief. Warmth flooded his eyes and they immediately went dark with desire. His entire face softened when before there’d been lines etched on his forehead and his jaw had been tense. He’d seemed distracted, as though he’d had a hectic day at work.
All of that melted away as he strode toward her, his focus solely on her, his gaze never once leaving her.
He stopped just in front of her, his hand delving into her hair, stroking through the strands before cupping her cheek and caressing the line of her jaw.
“How long have you waited like this?” he asked softly.
She smiled, leaning into his touch. She was starved for it. An entire day of waiting and wanting. Aching with need. Wanting to reaffirm what they’d already decided the night before. She wanted to reassure him, but perhaps she needed that reassurance even more.
“Not long. You texted when you left the office. I waited a bit and then came into the living room, here, so I could see you when you got off the elevator. So you could see me,” she finished quietly.
“Never seen a more beautiful sight when coming home from work, baby. Never thought I’d come home to this. To you. Like this. So so
ft and sweet. You make me forget everything else but you and me and the world we’ve created.”
“Good,” she said huskily. “I want that for you. You do so much for me. I want to do as much for you.”
He smiled down at her, his fingers rubbing lightly over her lips. “You do. You’ve made my entire day. Seeing you like this. I can’t even remember my crappy day or what happened at work. Don’t even give a damn. Because now I’m here with you and nothing else matters.”
“I’m yours to command,” she murmured. “Tell me what you want, Jace.”
He hesitated, standing there, his eyes expressive, but he remained silent, almost as if he were afraid to voice his thoughts. Then finally he spoke. Careful with his words.
“I know we talked about this last night, baby. I know you agreed. I know I laid it out. But I don’t want to rush into this. I want to give you time to adjust to my expectations. I want you to be sure that this is what you want. The very last thing I want is to overwhelm you. I want to take things slow. Work up and take it a step at a time. I don’t doubt you. Don’t want you to think that. I’m going to be careful with you because I care about you. I care about us. And I want us to last.”
Her heart went soft, the ache intensifying. A knot formed in her throat and it was hard to speak around the growing emotion. “Don’t you know, Jace? When you say things like that it only makes me want to please you even more. We don’t have to pull out all the stops the first day of this new relationship. But I want to show you what I can be. What I want to be. For you. But not just for you. For me too. I want this. You want this. We want this. So tell me how to please you. Give me the words and let’s begin something new and special.”
“I want to fuck you,” he said bluntly. “Right here in the living room. I want you to suck my dick with you on your knees looking so damn sweet and beautiful, your eyes glowing and soft. And then I want to bend you over the couch, tie your hands behind your back and fuck you long and hard. And then when I’ve come, I want to lay you out and make love to you like you’ve never been loved. I want to eat that pussy and I want to suck your tits until you’re ready to come out of your skin.”
“Is that all?” she teased.
He grinned, some of the worry easing from his expression. “It’s all for now. There’s a whole hell of a lot more I want to do to you—will do to you. But we’ve got all the time in the world and we don’t have to do it all on the first day. We’ll take it slow and when I’m sure you’re with me all the way, we’ll get there, baby. No doubt about that. I’m going to crop that ass, tie you up and fuck you in every conceivable manner a man can fuck a woman. But for now, I just want those sweet lips around my dick and then I’m going to dive into that warm, tight pussy.”
She shivered, her clit throbbing until she squirmed to alleviate the ache.
He gave her a knowing smile and then reached for the fly of his pants. He unfastened the button and then lowered the zipper, the rasp sharp in her ears. He pulled his cock out, stroking it to hardness with firm pulls, and then he tilted her chin up with his other hand.
“Open your mouth, baby. Take me inside and suck me off. Take me to the edge, but I’m not going to come until I’m balls deep inside your pussy and you’re bent over the arm of the couch, ass perched high in the air with your hands tied behind your back. That’s when I’m going to pump you so full of my cum that it’ll run down your legs and I’m going to leave you that way just so I can stand back and look at you, knowing you’re mine and that I just took what I own.”
She closed her eyes as he slid inside her mouth, the erotic images he’d described bombarding her mind. His hands were gentle as he palmed her face, but his thrusts were not. It was an arresting contradiction, his touch versus the force with which he fucked her mouth.
“Now this is the way a man likes to come home,” he whispered. “His woman waiting on her knees, wanting only to pleasure him. Waiting for his command. Accepting whatever it is he tells her to do. Fuck me, it doesn’t get any goddamn better than this, baby.”
She smiled around his cock, satisfaction gripping her, squeezing her heart until she was breathless. She loved that she affected him this way. That he was so wild for her and that she pleased him as no other woman had.
He thrust hard and then slowed, sliding more gently over her tongue, rubbing the tip over her lips before plunging back inside the wetness of her mouth.
“So beautiful,” he murmured. “And mine. Fucking mine. You belong to me. Only me. No one else will ever have this, what I have, you on your knees, waiting for me to walk out of that elevator. If other men only knew what I had, they’d be jealous sons of bitches. You’re a woman worth fighting for, Bethany. Men would kill to possess what I own, even for an hour.”
His words sank deep and she soaked them up, holding them in the deepest part of her soul. Her chest tightened and her throat knotted, making it hard for her to take his length.
He frowned and then withdrew, leaving only the tip resting on her bottom lip. “You okay?”
She nodded, unable to formulate a coherent response. How could she when she was perilously close to tears? Happy tears. She was overwhelmed and not in a bad way. The very best way. Overcome. She had no idea what to say, how to respond. She could only show him what those words meant to her.
Leaning forward, she took the initiative and sucked him deep but then immediately glanced up, gauging his reaction, to see if her boldness had angered him. He feathered a hand over her cheek and smiled tenderly, almost as if he could read her every thought and knew just how affected she was by all he’d said.
Holding her head in place, he thrust one more time, deeper, pushing to the back of her throat until it convulsed around him. He let out a groan and then released her, pulling his cock from her mouth. Then he reached down with both hands and curled them around hers, lacing their fingers together. He pulled her carefully to her feet and remained in that one spot for a long moment while he waited to ensure she had her footing.