by Maya Banks
his palms and held her tightly as he pushed inside her mouth.
His features were harsh, lines forming at his mouth and at his temples. She could see his chest work up and down, his breath coming in ragged bursts as she worked him deeper, to the back of her throat.
Applying light suction, she took him even deeper, boldly making love to him. He hit the back of her throat and she swallowed. This time he emitted a hiss, the violent expulsion of air loud over the sound of rushing water.
He stroked over her head, then to her cheeks, lightly caressing the lines of her face as her throat worked around him. His touch was infinitely gentle, so tender that her heart squeezed in response.
He was her addiction. Replacing everything else. With him, there was no need for the coping mechanisms of the past. He was her anchor. He was what sex and pills used to be for her. A safe place in a world of uncertainty.
Had she merely traded one addiction for another?
The thought took root in her mind, a shadow that gave her pause. But she shook it off, determined not to let her past ruin what she had with Jace. Right here and now. She was finished living in the past, wasn’t she? Jace had given her new life. He’d made her believe that they were starting new and fresh, that what had been no longer mattered. That it was what was to come that was important.
With everything else he’d given her for Christmas, this was the most precious gift she could ever hope to receive.
She sucked deeply again, pouring every bit of her heart, her feelings for him into her movements. She hoped he could see, could feel what she was giving him. It was the only thing she had to give him. She just hoped it was enough.
Jace’s grip tightened on her face. Then he roughly slid his hands down and underneath her arms. He lifted, hauling her up his body. His mouth met hers in a heated clash that left her gasping for breath.
Then he hoisted her and, in one swift movement, he turned and pressed her against the wall of the shower.
“Wrap your legs around me,” he growled.
The fierce command sent shivers down her spine. Her belly clenched and butterflies took flight in her chest. Already his cock had found her opening and as she hooked her ankles at the small of his back, he plunged, finding his depth in one forceful thrust.
His fingers dug into her buttocks, massaging and molding, holding her open as he pounded into her again. His mouth brushed teasingly against her neck and then he sunk his teeth into the sensitive column, eliciting another gasp from her.
He sucked as he plunged over and over, driving her body against the shower wall. His hands seemed to be everywhere, his mouth driving her insane with lust. She’d have a mark on her neck later, evidence of his possession and the bruising force in which he took her. And yet she wanted more. More strength. More ferocity. It would never be enough.
“Not going to last long, baby,” he said roughly, his voice strained and garbled. “How close are you? Want you there.”
She took one arm from around his neck where she was gripping him tightly and slid her hand between their bodies, down to her clit. As soon as she touched herself, her body coiled into a tight knot.
“Close,” she gasped.
“Good. Get there.”
He leaned into her, trapping her hand between them. She barely had room to caress the taut bundle of nerves between her legs. He pounded into her, driving her against the wall, driving himself deeper into her. She felt bruised and shaken, the force with which he took her overwhelming.
She was his. She truly belonged. To him.
Her thighs shook, her entire body quaked. Desire rose, sharp and edgy. Overpowering. Her climax built into a crescendo that was nearly deafening. The roar in her ears. The pounding of her heart. She screamed hoarsely and then his shout of triumph joined her cries.
He leaned into her, buried deeply, his chest heaving with exertion. He kissed her neck. Her jaw. Then her lips, his breaths mingling with hers.
Dimly, she became aware of the water still rushing over them. The steam was choking, the air so moist it was hard to breathe in.
“Christ,” Jace muttered. “You undo me, Bethany. How the hell am I supposed to even move now, much less finish showering and get to work?”
She smiled against his neck and then let her body slide down the wall until she stood on shaking legs.
“Guess I’ll just have to finish washing you,” she murmured.
“Oh hell no,” he grumbled. “I’m going to wash your hair and then kick you out of my shower. If you put your hands on me again, we’ll never leave the bathroom.”
Her grin broadened and she leaned up to kiss his firm jaw. “I’m not going to argue with a man who wants to wash my hair for me.”
chapter twenty-nine
When Jace’s car pulled up to her apartment building, he acted as though he were reluctant to let Bethany get out. He held on to her hand for a long moment before leaning over to kiss her. Fierce. Possessive. She struggled to pull in a breath when he finally released her and his gaze glittered, his eyes going dark and sultry.
“I’ll be over when I finish at work.”
She nodded and then opened her door.
“Be careful. The rain is picking up. I don’t want you to get wet.”
She smiled. “A little rain never hurt anyone, Jace.”
“Still, it’s cold. I want you inside quickly so you don’t come down with something.”
She leaned back in to kiss him and then she got out and as he’d requested, she made a dash for the entrance, dodging raindrops as she went. A burst of laughter escaped and she marveled at how happy and light she sounded. She turned just inside the door to see Jace’s car pull away into traffic and she stood staring until it disappeared from sight.
She was about to push in and go up to her apartment when she heard her name.
Frowning, she turned and to her shock, Jack stood a few feet away. He was wet and bedraggled, carrying only his tattered backpack.
“Jack!”
His name came out as a whisper and then she hurried forward, stepping once more into the cold drizzle.
“Jack, what are you doing here?” she asked. “How long have you stood out here?”
He gave her a half smile. “Wasn’t sure when you’d be back. I had the doorman ring up to your apartment yesterday but you weren’t here. So I hung around, hoping to catch you.”
“Oh, Jack, I’m so sorry.” Her voice was stricken. And guilt flooded her. While she’d been happy and warm, celebrating the holiday with Jace and his family, Jack had been here, waiting for her in the cold. No place to sleep or be out of the elements.
“Nothing to be sorry for, Bethy. If it’s not a good time, I can come back . . .”
“No!” she said fiercely. “Come inside. You need to get out of the cold. I had no idea you’d come. I’d hoped you would. If I’d known, I would have been here.”
She took his arm, dragging him toward the entrance. When they met the doorman, she thrust her chin up, daring him to pass judgment.
“This is Jack. He’s my brother. I’m giving him a key. If I’m not here and he needs in, you’re to let him pass.”
The doorman respectfully nodded. “Of course, Miss Willis.”
She hurried Jack toward the elevator and winced as he dripped all over the inside. He was shivering and he looked even thinner than the last time she’d seen him. Had he been eating anything at all?
She should have looked after him better. Should have made more of an effort to make sure he was taken care of. She had so much now and it killed her to think of Jack still on the streets. Not when she could provide a place to stay and food to eat.
“Nice place,” Jack muttered when she shoved him inside her apartment.
“Yeah, it is. Go into the bathroom and take a hot shower. I’ll lay out some of Jace’s clothes. They’ll be big on you, but they’ll at least be warm and dry.”
Again that crooked grin as she bustled him into her bedroom.
“Jace
the guy who hooked you up with all of this?”
Bethany softened, a smile curving her lips. “Yeah. He’s a good man, Jack. The best. I’m . . . happy.”
Jack reached out to touch her cheek. “I’m glad, Bethy. You deserve to be happy.”
“So do you,” she said fiercely.
His smile was sadder this time. “I’m sorry about what happened. I never meant for you to be involved.”
“I know,” she said in a soft voice. “Now go. Get a shower. I’ll fix you something to eat, okay?”
As Jack disappeared into the bathroom, Bethany pulled out a pair of Jace’s jeans and one of the T-shirts he’d left in her apartment. She found a pair of socks that would fit Jack, wanting his feet to be warm. Shoes. She needed to buy him new shoes. The ones he wore now were threadbare, the soles coming off and there were holes. They were no barrier to the cold.
After leaving the clothing where he could find it, she went back into the kitchen.
She pulled out bacon, a carton of eggs and some ham and cheese. An omelet would be quick and it had lots of protein. She busied herself with the preparation and by the time Jack reappeared, dressed in Jace’s clothes, she had his plate ready.
“You want juice or milk?” she asked when he took a seat at the bar.
He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I’ll drink whatever.”
After pondering a moment, she pulled two glasses down and poured a glass of each. The extra nutrition certainly wouldn’t hurt.
“I can’t stay long,” Jack said. He was already digging into the omelet with gusto. Bethany cringed to imagine when his last good meal had been. “I have shit to see to. I just wanted to see you and leave my pack here, if that’s all right.”
“Of course it’s all right,” she said. “But why can’t you stay?”
“I’ll be back. Just some things I need to take care of and I didn’t want to have my pack. Could get stolen out there. You know how it is. Always someone wanting what someone else has.”
He was vague and it bothered her.
“What’s in the backpack?”
He ignored her question and then reached into his pocket. He pulled out a pill bottle and her stomach clenched.
“I got these for you, Bethy. I know you need them sometimes.”
Her heart began to pound when he slid the bottle across the counter.
“No, Jack.” She shook her head adamantly. “I don’t do that anymore. You know that. I can’t go back to that. Ever.”
“Still, they’ll be here if you need them.”
“How did you get them?” she asked, dread crowding her chest. “How could you afford that? Tell me you didn’t borrow more money.”
He glanced up, swallowing the last bite of his omelet. “I didn’t borrow money. Someone owed me a favor. He hooked me up.”
She closed her eyes. “Jack, you can’t keep doing this. You know it’s no good. It’s no way to live. I don’t want you taking drugs either. You can beat this. It doesn’t have to be this way. Not now.”
His gaze hardened. “The way we’ve been living is no way to live. We survive, Bethy, we don’t live. You know that. And sometimes the pills make the surviving a little easier. Besides, you may have moved up in the world, but I haven’t.”
“That’s not true!” she protested. “What’s mine is yours. You know that.”
Jack shook his head. “Do you really think your new boyfriend is going to want me hanging around here? Think about it, Bethy. What man would want his girlfriend’s homeless brother as excess baggage? You can’t be that naïve.”
She sucked in her breath as pain exploded in her chest. “You know I won’t choose between you two. You know I’d never do that. I love you, Jack. I owe everything to you. I’m not going to forget that. If Jace can’t accept that, then he and I don’t have a future.”
Jack reached across the bar to put his hand over hers. “Don’t be stupid, babe. Don’t throw your chance away on me. You’ve got a chance to make something good. Don’t ruin it.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I won’t just forget about you. I’m not like that. Do you honestly think I could live here, make a new life, while you’re out there on the streets? If you do think that then you don’t know me.”
His gaze softened. “You’re the only person in this world I love and who loves me. And that’s why I want the best for you. Do this for me, okay? I just need to leave my stuff here for a few hours. I’ll come back. Maybe we can have dinner together. I always thought it would be cool if we had a place where you could cook and we could pretend we were normal people just like everyone else.”
She nodded, her pulse still hammering in her veins. She’d call Jace. He’d understand if she called off their evening. “I can cook something. Tell me what you’d like. I’ll make sure I have the stuff for it.”
“Whatever you want to cook. I’ll eat whatever. Surprise me.”
She turned her hand so she could squeeze Jack’s. “I’m just glad you’re here. Really. I’ve been so worried about you.”
“You shouldn’t worry about me, babe. You know I can take care of myself.”
He pulled his hand back and then drained both glasses before setting them back down. “I need to roll. Got shit to do. I’ll try to make it back by dark.”
“Please be careful,” she begged.
He gave her that cocky grin again. “Always do. Thanks for the food and the clothes. I left my pack in your bedroom. I’ll get it later, okay?”
She nodded and watched as he walked out of her apartment as fast as he’d come in. Then her gaze lighted on the bottle he’d left and she snatched it up to put it away in one of the cabinets.
Worry and anxiety ate at her until her stomach tossed and turned. What was Jack into?
She checked her watch and then went to the drawer where Jace had left money for her to use. She wasn’t sure where the nearest market was, but she could ask the doorman. Hopefully it wasn’t a long walk. The weather sucked and she didn’t want to waste money on a cab.
Already she was running possibilities through her head. She would cook a fabulous meal. All of Jack’s favorites. And she’d make him sandwiches to take with him because she knew he wouldn’t agree to stay. She could buy nonperishable items he could stow in his bag so he’d have something to eat for more than a few days.
She peeled off several of the bills and stuffed them into her jeans pocket and then headed down to ask the doorman for the nearest place she could buy groceries.
• • •
Bethany ducked out of the cab after paying the fare and hurried, bags in hand, to her building’s entrance. The doorman had advised her to take a cab and she’d relented when she’d seen the increase in rain. It had morphed from a light drizzle to more of a steady downpour. Not what she wanted to be caught out in on her way back from the market carrying groceries.
When she unlocked her apartment and walked in, she was stunned to see Jace in the living room, his expression dark and forbidding. He advanced on her before she even had time to deposit the bags on the kitchen bar.
“Where the fuck have you been?” he demanded.
Her eyes widened and she glanced down at the grocery sacks. “I—I went shopping.”
“Anything else you want to tell me?”
The accusation in his voice stung. What on earth did he think? Did he believe she was cheating on him? Sneaking out to see a lover? How had he even known she was gone to begin with?
He wrested the bags from her grip and dropped them with a thud on the bar before turning his furious gaze back to her.
Her mind blanked. She took an instinctive step back and Jace swore.
“I’m not going to hurt you, damn it.”
“Why are you so angry?” she asked. “I just went down to the market. I was only gone an hour.”
“You think this is about you going out for groceries?”
His tone was incredulous.
“What else am I supposed to think? You’re acting ridiculous, Jac
e. I went to get groceries, for God’s sake.”
“Let’s try this instead. I’m at work in an important meeting and I get a call from Kaden, who informs me you have a visitor.”
Her mouth dropped open in shock. “How does Kaden know anything about who’s at my apartment? He’s not even supposed to be protecting me anymore.” Her eyes narrowed as understanding slowly dawned. “You still don’t trust me.” It nearly killed her to say those words, the truth. And it was the truth. He was bristling with rage and he’d hired those men to watch her. “He wasn’t here to protect me. He was here to spy on me.”
“It would appear I have good reason,” Jace snapped.
Hope died inside Bethany. She turned her painful gaze on him, hurt beyond words. “Jack was here. But then you already know that.”
“Yes. Jack,” he spat out. “What the fuck was he doing here?”
Her brow furrowed and this time she took a step forward, anger tightening her features. “He came to see me. He was here at Christmas, only I wasn’t here because I was with you. He had to spend the holiday alone. No food. No warm place to be. Alone, Jace. On the streets. I don’t need to tell you what a wonderful holiday that makes for.”
“How did he even know to show up here?” Jace demanded.
She blinked. “I gave him the address.”
“And when did you do this?”
She flushed. “The day I went to see him.”
Jace’s lips tightened into a nearly indistinguishable line. “You invited him here.”
She nodded. “Of course.”
He swore again. “There is no ‘of course’ to it, Bethany. What the fuck were you thinking?”
“What is wrong with you?” she demanded. “Am I not allowed to invite people to this apartment? Did I get it wrong and it’s not really for my use? Or is it only uses I have your approval for?”
“You invited a man who damn near got you killed. He got you attacked. He’s the last person you need to have anything to do with.”
The blood drained from her face. “He never intended for me to be hurt. He’d never do anything to hurt me.”
Disgust flooded Jace’s face. His eyes were swamped with it.
“Really, Bethany? And why do you suppose he’s here now?”
She didn’t like his tone. His expression. She liked nothing about this confrontation. He was so angry. Sickness pitted deep in her stomach, curling and knotting into a painful ball.
“He came to see me,” she said in a low voice. “He’s cold and hungry. I fixed him something to eat. I went out for groceries so I could cook dinner for him.”
Jace reached over the back of the couch and pulled up Jack’s backpack. He dangled it from his finger, his eyes going cold with rage.
“Is that the only reason he came? Where is he now?”
“I don’t know what you’re trying to imply. He said he had things to do. He wanted to leave the backpack here because he didn’t want it stolen from him. You don’t understand how it works out there. If someone sees you have anything, they take it. They’ll stab you, hurt you, kill you to get it. You can get murdered for five dollars.”
“Oh I have no doubt someone would kill him for what’s in here,” Jace bit out.
He yanked it and gaped open the top so she could see inside. What little blood was left in her cheeks fled and she wavered, teetering unsteadily until she had to reach out to the bar to gain her balance.
Drugs. Lots of drugs. Prescription pills. What looked like marijuana and other stuff she had no idea of but it looked . . . bad. Really bad.
“I found this in your bedroom,” Jace bit out. “With this shit in it. I hope