As it turned out, I wasn’t the first.
Tamara insisted on bringing her spirit box, but I was pretty sure we were not going to need much in the way of equipment. My emotions were running wild, which always made me an open channel. The chances were good at least one dead person around here was going to head my way, so I had it in my mind I needed to work quickly. As we trudged through the grass, I began visualizing light around me. Light made it easier for me to be found. I told myself to breathe normally and remembered nothing could harm me as long as I stayed in the light.
I decided to put that light around Tamara too. Joey I trusted, and even though I didn’t know Aaron, I had no reason to suspect he was anything but good. But if there was a killer, if there was someone killing young men even back in the ‘90s, he could still be here. He could be dead. Evil dead often return to the places where they wreaked the most havoc.
Two young men dead? I’d say that was pretty evil.
As we passed a clump of wildflowers, I paused to pluck them. It was only right that we bring some kind of tribute to the two forgotten souls. I guessed this was kind of a memorial.
A tribute to Joey and Aaron.
Before we even cleared the ditch, I knew he was there. I could feel Aaron’s heartbreaking vibration and his overwhelming sadness. He was waiting for us as if he’d known we were coming. He’d known one day he would have to face this moment.
You don’t have to be afraid, Aaron. We are here to help you. We are Joey’s friends, and we want to be yours too.
To my surprise, the young dead man fled from me. He only went as far as the other side of the road, but it was enough of a distance to let me know he wasn’t prepared for this transition. And he wasn’t communicating with me, not yet.
“He’s not ready to move on, Tamara. I’m kind of glad you brought that because he’s not talking either. I guess we should start here.” I paced a few steps and quickly picked up on the spot where one or both of the young men had died.
This death had left a strange signature. I glanced over my shoulder and was relieved to see there was no sign of the Reaper, but he would be coming soon. He’d been hanging around waiting for Mrs. Loper, but he hadn’t been able to collect her.
She had passed through the door without any intervention from him. The Reaper would miss this one too. I hoped he wouldn’t hold a grudge.
Okay, Chloe. Get your mind under control. Don’t forget you aren’t the only one listening.
“Why don’t you get started? He might be more apt to talk to you, Tamara.”
She put the box on the ground and turned on the power. I’d seen quite a bit of this machine recently. She liked it a lot, and one good thing about it was it recorded your session. Chances were if we got anything from Aaron, anything valuable at all, having a recording would make it more impressive for Deputy Patrick. I gave him props for keeping an open mind.
“Aaron, my name is Tamara. I was here before, but I’m here today with Chloe. We know about Joey. We know he was your friend.” Random static issued from the black box. It was an annoying sound, like listening to someone changing the radio station about five times a second. It was extremely irritating, but I immediately detected a voice.
Joey...I’m sorry...
Tamara’s eyes widened, but she continued her attempts at communicating with the murdered young man. “Aaron? Do you know where Joey is? Do you know what happened to him?” The spirit box began flipping through the stations even faster. I wasn’t sure how this equipment worked, but I was under the impression it couldn’t fluctuate like that. Maybe I was wrong. It was hard to tell since the world was spinning and I felt woozy.
Very woozy.
I staggered on my feet, but Tamara was right there. “I’m good. I’m feeling him. Aaron...were you getting high out here? Is that what you are doing behind the house?”
The entire experience was freaking me out. I’d never done hard drugs, even though a lot of kids at our school did, but I guzzled a wine cooler once, and this was a similar feeling, only much more intense.
Yes.
Without much warning, I was sitting in a car with Aaron and Joey. They were in the front seat, music was blaring, and there was a purple sky. I couldn’t feel or hear Joey’s mind, but I was connected with Aaron. He wasn’t really a bad guy. He wanted me to know that right off the bat before he went any further. His eyes caught mine in the rearview mirror. Joey didn’t seem to notice me. He was singing along to the song and drinking his beer.
Totally oblivious to what was about to happen.
I can feel you are not a bad guy. What happened, Aaron?
Aaron’s eyes left mine, and he smiled at the young man beside him. He couldn’t believe Joey had agreed to come out here. They kissed again. They had been kissing all night, but not much else had happened. Aaron got the vibe that Joey was inexperienced, and in many ways was an innocent. That was one of the reasons why Aaron was so attracted to him. He could see himself in Joey. He had never imagined himself in a long-term relationship with a guy. Nobody knew about him and his preferences, but Joey was dreamy, and he had a poet’s heart. A true poet. Yeah, he could steal my heart if I let him.
Aaron had never met anyone who wrote poetry until he met Joey. They went to the same college, but Aaron was not enrolled in any of the arts courses. He was a numbers guy from top to bottom, or at least he used to be before this all started.
I’m not a bad guy. I swear. I didn’t know.
What happened? Show me?
Aaron’s sad eyes met mine briefly in the rearview mirror again, and I watched as he removed a small leopard print case from his glove box. He observed Joey’s body tensing as he produced the surprise, further proof his partner was very inexperienced. He might even be a virgin. That thought amused Aaron and aroused him. Up until this moment, he didn’t believe there was still such a thing as virginity or innocence. Not in his world.
Aaron’s community was hardcore partiers, a very active group of friends who didn’t observe limits. He’d been pressured to bring Joey into their inner circle, which made this even more heartbreaking.
For the first time ever, he wanted to keep someone for himself. Someone who would laugh at his jokes. Someone who might enjoy his cooking and his humor. Aaron chewed the inside of his lip as he pondered all this. Ace’s voice rang in my mind. He wanted more inroads here at the college, essentially more addicts. People who wanted his powder. Pretty ones like Joey.
“You’ve got one job, Aaron. All you were asked to do was get familiar with the kid. That’s all. Don’t screw this up. You’ll need more, you know you will.”
As if it were a final warning, a bright star blasted through the sky. It passed right beyond the house, which was ridiculous because stars were much farther away. No, that star had flamed out far away from this place.
Kind of like me.
My star was flaming out. I was losing everything, even my edge. My scholarship was shot, and without it, there was no way I was getting in next semester. I chewed my bottom lip, and suddenly Joey was there. He kissed me tenderly, and I kissed him back.
“Try it with me? Just a little?”
Aaron showed him the case with the two needles and the powdery substance.
“Stop it! Tamara, oh, my God!” I reached for her hand. Even though I couldn’t see her, I needed to know she was there. I had to be able to come back from this horrible moment.
“I’m here. I’m right here. What’s going on? Talk to me, Chloe.”
“It’s okay. I’m okay. I have to see this.” I stared into the rearview mirror. I witnessed Joey’s hesitation.
Joey flashed his glamorous smile and shook his head. Although Aaron was moved by his refusal, he was the kind of guy who preferred getting his way. “Do we really need that?”
Aaron’s stubbornness had been a problem in past relationships, but he wasn’t thinking about self-improvement. He was thinking about how much he wanted to be with Joey, and he wanted to share this experience w
ith his new lover. At least, he hoped they would be lovers. They weren’t there yet. He hadn’t sealed the deal yet, but he was close.
“You saw that star? That’s how good this is. We could be together, and I’m sure it’ll be great, but if we want that shooting star experience, this is how we do it.”
I held my breath as I watched Joey pull back from Aaron. He tilted his head. It was a typical Joey move when he heard something he didn’t like, or he didn’t quite believe what you were saying.
“How many times have you done this? I mean, with someone else?”
Aaron’s smile was disarming. He was much like Joey in that his easy nature made you want to trust him. I knew the truth because I saw things through Aaron’s eyes.
I’m not a bad guy.
I refrained from responding to his intrusive thought, but it was really hard for me to accept that statement as truth, and getting harder by the minute.
“Come on. What kind of question is that? I’m not hooking up with people out here on a regular basis if that’s what you’re thinking. It’s cool. I thought maybe you’d want to try it, but it’s cool.”
Aaron snapped the case shut and tossed it on the dashboard. His words said one thing, but his behavior said something altogether different. He turned his face away from Joey, propped his elbow against the door, and cradled his chin thoughtfully. It was a pose that had come in handy for him. People always thought he was a deep thinker, but he wasn’t thinking all that deeply.
Not beyond the next fix. The next hook-up.
With all my mind, I wanted to scream, “You are a bad guy!” For Joey’s sake, I kept my mouth shut and watched it unfold before me.
“I’ll try it, but I don’t know how to do any of this. I guess you know I’m kind of a rookie.” From the mirror, I could see Joey’s eyes were good and bloodshot. They had probably kicked back more than one beer.
I sobbed in the backseat, but nobody paid me any attention, and I couldn’t move. Tamara was clutching my hand, but I couldn’t hear what she was saying. I was determined to see it through. I couldn’t step away from the vision now.
It was a weird sensation, being in the past and the present at the same time. I didn’t want to see Joey die, but I knew it was coming. This was not the narrative I’d created in my mind. There was no ominous bad guy out there.
No one but you, Aaron. You are a bad guy!
There it was, in black and white—my honest thought about this whole thing. This whole sordid affair. Just as I was ready to step away, to move back into the present and leave the past behind, I heard Aaron’s voice.
I have to show you. Please, let me show you.
I didn’t verbally consent, but something inside me invited this disclosure. Suddenly, the film I was watching went into fast speed. I saw it all. Aaron and Joey together in the car and using the kit, only something went wrong.
Aaron panicked and cried, but in the end, he did the wrong thing. In his intoxication, he rolled Joey out of the car and down the ditch. He wasn’t sure if Joey was dead. He thought maybe he felt a pulse, but then it was gone, and he was so high he forgot Joey was there.
For how long? He couldn’t remember that either. He woke up in the car, and it was deep into the night. There wasn’t a hint of light behind the old Ridaught Plantation. And there was no evidence Joey had ever been there, except his beer bottle in the car. He tossed it into the ditch with Joey and didn’t look back.
He cried all the way home and for several days after that, but he never told anyone. The weird thing was his friends, the guys interested in Joey? They didn’t even mention him.
It was as if Joey had only been a blip on their radar. He’d been like a star that pulsated once and disappeared into the blackness.
Just when Aaron began to convince himself Joey was alive and that he wasn’t dead, he saw his face in the newspaper.
Young Man Found Dead Behind Abandoned Mansion.
There was the evidence of his soul-crushing sin. For the next few weeks, he pondered what to do.
Who should he talk to? The cops? His dad was a cop. No. He and the old man never saw eye to eye on much of anything. If he told his father the truth about what happened, his old man certainly wouldn’t approve of any of it. He damn sure wouldn’t approve of the fact Aaron had left his friend to die in a ditch by himself.
Going to the cops was a horrible idea, and the thought of coming down from his beloved heroin in jail made him even sicker. He couldn’t do it. There was only one thing he could do.
There had only been one solution to begin with. All this partying, it had just been a delay tactic for the inevitable. He knew what he had to do. This was a kind of penance. As he pulled the car behind the house, his eyes fell on the yellow police tape.
Solid evidence of his unforgivable sin.
Joey didn’t deserve what happened to him. He didn’t deserve to be tossed out of the car like rubbish. He didn’t deserve to be forgotten and unloved.
I couldn’t make it right, but I could do this.
I could punish his killer.
I spent days researching how to do it. There were a lot of ways one could commit suicide. Drugs seem to be the top of the list, but it would take a lot to kill me. I’d been getting high for so long, I didn’t have that kind of money or time. And I wanted it to end.
Joey had been the one.
I could’ve loved him forever, but as usual, I could love no one as much as I loved myself. That was my curse. I should never have forced him and coerced him into getting high. I stole his future and mine. I could not live with that.
I put the car in park and flipped the radio on. As if the universe approved of my plan, that song played, the one from that night when this suffocating nightmare began.
I had a plan.
“Please, just tell me.” Tears were streaming down my face, and Tamara was shaking my hands and arms. Her screams sounded as if they were coming from deep underwater. I was firmly immersed in the past. With every passing second, I lost confidence that I would be able to come back.
“Aaron, show me, and I promise I’ll help you. I will help you step into the light. What did you do?”
The video sped up again. Aaron tied the scarf around the back of the seat and his neck. He tied it so tight it was a struggle to put the needle in his arm, but he managed to do it. Once the poison was in his veins, he eventually sagged, and the silk scarf tightened until he stopped breathing. It did not take long to die.
He hung around the vehicle for a little while and watched his body. It wasn’t his father who showed up first, thankfully. The cop recognized him. His last name was Richards. He removed the scarf and pulled the needle out of Aaron’s arm. That’s when his father showed up. He didn’t even cry. He threw his hat across the field and got sick, but he didn’t cry. Not a tear. He didn’t cry at Aaron’s funeral, either. It was as if he’d never mattered.
“Look at me, Aaron. I’m crying. I’m crying for you and Joey. I saw it all. Now it’s time to go.”
But Joey. If I could see him...
I winced at the idea. There was no way in hell I was going to make that happen, even if Joey had been available and willing. This was the worst-case scenario. Aaron knew that, and he accepted it.
“That has to be up to him, not me. I can help you find peace. You see that light over there?” I visualized the light just a few feet away from Aaron. It was easy to do, maybe because I’d been in the spirit realm so long. I was feeling a strange sense of urgency.
Yes, too long. Go back, Chloe!
Mom? Okay, Mom!
“See the light? There is a door right inside it, Aaron. I know you can see it. That’s where the light is coming from, Aaron. Somebody you love, someone you really love is on the other side of that door. It is opening, and you are going to see that person. Think of someone. The person you want to see the most.” I was weeping as I coached him toward the light.
Joey. I want to see Joey.
“I can’t make that h
appen. Maybe that’s your punishment, Aaron. Maybe that’s how you pay your penance. Someday you might see him, but not here. You have to go.”
He sighed, and I knew I’d won him over. He walked toward the door but paused before reaching for it. I held my breath as I watched and waited for him to make his final move. I couldn’t force him. I would never do that. This had to be his decision, but it would be best for him to leave. Best for Joey too.
“What about your mother? Is she there? Can you see her?” It was a guess and apparently a lucky one, because his expression changed. There was no more hesitation. No more fear or guilt. He smiled, and it was a peaceful sight. I cried hard for Aaron, even though he’d caused the death of my friend. I didn’t understand how the light could accept people like Mrs. Loper and Aaron, but I was glad it did. I was glad I didn’t have to be their judge.
Tell him I’m sorry.
I made him no promise, only nodded, and then he was gone. Aaron was gone, and I would never see him again.
I was glad for that.
“Chloe? Can you hear me?” To my surprise, I was looking up at Tamara. How had I gotten on the ground? Where had the cop come from?
“Hey. Yeah, I can hear you. Help me up.”
Kevin squatted beside me and warned me to take my time getting up. “Slow and easy. Move slow and easy. How are you feeling now? Any pain?”
With fierceness, I hugged Tamara. She hugged me back, and together we cried. Tamara didn’t know why she was crying, and I loved that about her.
“I’m okay, Aunt Tamara. I’m really okay. Take me home, please. I want to go home.”
“Sure, let’s go. Let’s ride with Kevin. You can leave those flowers for Joey and Aaron. We will bring more tomorrow.” She rubbed my back and sat with me in the back of the vehicle. I laid my head on her shoulder, and when we got in the house, I told them both everything.
Tamara cried, hearing how Joey had died. Kevin immediately began making phone calls. At least the truth would come out, and Joey would have some closure. Maybe Aaron too.
Always Dead (Welcome To Dead House Book 2) Page 13