“Are most of your family 0n the force?” my dad asked, taking a bite of sausage gravy.
“Something like that,” Bash said. “They’re in private security.”
“Oh,” my mom brightened up, “like protecting celebrities?”
“Or criminals?” Oliver interrupted. He and Bash glared at each other, and I rolled my eyes.
“My family has worked in security for many years, and they pride themselves on integrity. To answer your question, Oliver, no, they do not and never have aided any criminals.”
“Right,” my brother said sarcastically.
“How’s your work, Ollie?” I pointed my fork in his direction. “Killed anybody lately?”
He choked on his food.
“Mackenzie,” my mother gasped, “that is not dining table talk.”
“I mean, if we’re going to talk about criminals and all that, I’m just saying.”
Ollie grimaced. “I’m nowhere near a criminal.”
“I know you’re not.” Which I did. Oliver was an honest, upstanding citizen. That could never be taken from him, and what he did for a living was beyond honorable. He was getting on my nerves, and if playing dirty was what he wanted to do, then by all means, it was open season.
“Have you killed anybody?” Oliver looked me square in the eyes.
Sebastian tensed and reached for my thigh under the table. He already knew where this was going and how touchy of a subject this was for me.
“Yeah, last week.” I grinned nonchalantly.
Oliver tried to keep a straight face before he let out a chuckle. Even my mom smiled a little. They thought I was joking. If they only knew I had to put down a ghoul last Thursday.
“You know who I ran into yesterday?” Mom smiled and raised a brow. I shook my head, and she continued with her story about running into one of my old school teachers.
The change in subject was nice, and we fell into a comfortable conversation. My parents obviously tried to embarrass me with stories of when I was a kid, and I could feel the Alpha relax little by little as the afternoon went on. My parents warmed up to him, but my brother was another story. Bash helped my mom in the kitchen after dinner, and I tuned out their conversation to provide them with a semblance of privacy. Meanwhile, I sat in the living room with my father and brother.
“You like him a lot, don’t you?” Dad scratched at his five o’clock shadow and narrowed his gaze, eyeing me carefully.
“Yeah,” I nodded, “I do.”
Ollie snorted and rolled his eyes.
“What the hell is your problem?” I snapped at him. He’d been tossing out sly comment all afternoon, and I was over his shit.
“He’s just like James, Kenz. Can’t you see that?” he sneered and pointed to the kitchen.
My face got hot. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I know guys,” he scoffed, “and that guy in there is just going to use you and throw you away. Just like James.”
“Oliver,” my father reprimanded, raising a hand to stop him.
“Dad, it’s true and you know it!”
“That’s enough.” Dad stood from his recliner. “Kenzie is an adult and can handle herself. I trust her judgment.” He stared at me with sadness in his eyes. He believed Ollie.
“This is bullshit.” I threw my hands in the air.
“Don’t come crying to me when he breaks your heart,” Ollie added.
I swung, my fist connecting with Oliver’s jaw, and he stumbled backward. His eyes widened as he put a hand to his face. Everyone in the room froze as shock took over. My father ran to Oliver to see if he was okay.
“Mackenzie!” my father yelled. “You never put your hands on anyone. Especially family. You weren’t raised that way.”
“What about him?” I tilted my head in Ollie’s direction. “He can disrespect me and that’s cool?”
Oliver moved his jaw back and forth as he rubbed it. “She’s right …” He dropped his gaze to the carpeted floor. “That was uncalled for. I’m sorry. But you’re not the same, Kenz. You haven’t been for a while.”
I sighed, exasperated. “I know you’re trying to protect me. I also know we haven’t been as close as we used to, and I’m sorry. But it isn’t because of that man in the kitchen.” I pointed in Bash’s direction. “Things are just different, and I’m trying to figure my life out. Nothing’s the same. I have to make room for people I never knew were family. This is a major adjustment. I need you all to be patient and support me, not fight me every step of the way. I’ve been through more than you’ll ever know in the last few years, and I’m just now getting my footing. So … stop being a douche.”
2
Things between my family and me were still tense after we left, but it was a step toward progress. That’s all I could hope for at the moment. It would eventually repair itself in time.
“Want me to spend the night?” Bash pulled into a no-parking zone in front of my apartment building.
“Uh … no, not tonight. I’m really tired.” I gazed out the window and up to my apartment. The light was off. Thank God. I couldn’t remember if I’d left the light on for him …
“Mackenzie.”
“Yeah?” I said mindlessly, still trying to get a good look in my apartment.
“Look at me.” He turned my head to him. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” I shrugged and looked into his intense, ocean-blue eyes. That stare gave me chills, and the hairs on my arms stood on end.
“I haven’t stayed in your apartment in months. What gives?”
I gulped and tried to smile, but it came out more like a grimace. It’d been forever since he’d stayed with me, and it was very much intentional. The thought of having him come up to my apartment made me want to break out in hives.
“It’s just messy.” I chuckled awkwardly. “Girl stuff, ya know?”
“I don’t.” He shook his head. “Are you … hiding something from me?”
“What?” I jerked back. “How could you even say that? Of course not. I’m not hiding anything. What would I hide? I mean, I have some Double Stuf Oreos® under my bed, but that’s it. I also subscribed to Hulu, which I feel like I’m cheating on Netflix, but fuck, they have some really good TV shows. Like, have you watched The Handmaid’s Tale? That shit is insane—”
“Mackenzie, breathe!”
I inhaled loudly and exhaled. This wasn’t going well.
I’m totally fucked.
“What the hell is going on?” Bash demanded, his jaw ticking with aggravation. He put up with a lot of my shenanigans, but there was only so much he could take, and I was pushing it.
“Okay, I’ll be straight with you.”
“Thank you. That’s all I want.”
“It’s Amy,” I lied. It flowed out so easily, like silk in my hands. “She’s been staying with me for a while and needs her space from all things wolves. I’m sure you can understand wanting space. Yeah?”
Bash narrowed his eyes and watched me for a moment before he nodded stiffly.
“Of course, I understand.”
My smile stretched so wide, I thought my face was going to rip.
“Good, good.” I nodded and began to grab my sling bag. “Well, thanks for meeting my parents. I’m sure my mom loves you already. I’ll see you tomorrow for the Lunas’ training. Tell the Pack I say hello. Bye!” I gave him a quick kiss on the lips and hustled out of the car as I waved him off.
I practically ran inside the lobby of my apartment building and slammed the heavy door behind me. I threw my back against the door as I looked up at the staircase. My leg bounced as I tried to contemplate whether I should come clean, but the selfish part of me suppressed what was right.
Jogging up the stairs, I made it to my third-floor apartment and pulled out my keys. They jingled loudly in the empty hallway. It was surprisingly quiet, and it only made my guilty nervousness double in intensity.
“Mackenzie?” someone called from my bedro
om once I cracked open the door.
“Yeah,” I answered. “It's me.”
I’m going to hell for this.
“Good, I was getting bored. Netflix keeps asking if I’m still watching, and well, you know I can’t really do anything,” Jonah said as he stepped out of my bedroom.
“I hate when Netflix does that.” I sighed heavily and turned off the streaming service. “Honestly, if I’m gonna binge a show, just let me do it in peace, for fuck's sake. Stop making me feel guilty for not showering in three days and only eating take-out in my jammies. Am I right, or am I right?” I said as I met him in the living room.
Jonah laughed. “You’re always right.” His chocolate eyes glistened as he flickered in and out. One dimple peeked out, nearly bringing me to tears. Every. Single. Time.
“How’d dinner go?” He patted the seat beside him on the sofa. “Did Bash go all Alpha on your brother like we thought he would?”
I plopped down next to him, shaking my head. “Nope. He was totally cool, calm, and collected. It was weird.”
“He’s a good guy, Kenz. He’ll do right by you.” He smiled, and it was my undoing.
“Fuck!” I screamed into one of the couch pillows.
“Uh oh …”
“Uh oh is right.” I lifted my face. “Bash knows something’s up. I don’t know if I can keep lying to him. It’s been six months; I think my hair is falling out from the stress. I like my hair. I want to keep it.”
“I want you to keep your hair too, Kenz. You know what you have to do if you want to stop lying.”
“I know, I know,” I groaned.
-Six months ago-
When we pulled up to Cadwell Estate, Sebastian was there waiting for me. From the outside, he appeared like nothing was wrong, but his blue eyes didn’t lie. They were red-rimmed from sleepless nights or tears—I didn’t know which. His jaw tightened; he didn’t dare show the pain he was in, but I knew. He opened the door of the SUV and helped me get out.
“Mackenzie,” Bash said.
We hadn’t spoken much since the battle. Like me, he was grieving and had a whole pack to care for. Jonah was his best friend, a brother, and his Pack’s beta. He helped Jackson and Charles with the funeral arrangements—they both were too torn up about it to do anything.
Alexander got out of the SUV with me and walked up to Sebastian and stared him down. Bash, like the good soldier he was, bowed his head to his king.
“Look at me,” Alexander insisted. “If ye plan to be with my daughter, ye will never look down again.” He extended a hand to the Alpha of the Brooklyn Pack, and Bash shook it without a second glance. “Treat her well, or I’ll be back.” He winked.
Pride swelled within me knowing Alexander had given his blessing for our relationship.
Sebastian nodded and waited until Alexander and Ranulf went inside the estate where Jonah’s memorial service was being held.
“Hey,” I whispered as I stood before him. Bash was in a well-tailored, all-black suit, and was clean-shaven. I’d never seen him so GQ before—it took me by surprise. “You clean up nice.”
“As do you.” He took my hand in his.
“Is—”
“Everyone is here,” he reassured me. “Lucian and Amy arrived a few minutes before you did.”
“Charles let them—”
“Only for the memorial service. They will not be allowed to attend the ceremony.”
A Lycan funeral was a sight to behold. I’d only witnessed it once during the funeral of the Lunas. And like before, the ceremony was not meant for the eyes of anyone else except Lycans.
“Okay.” I nodded, attempting to get my bearings. I let out a deep breath to shake off the nerves. It was time to say goodbye, but I wasn’t ready. Jonah had given the ultimate sacrifice for Amy, for all of us. He knew he was dying, and he made sure his death would stand for something.
“If you need space …” Bash was about to let go of my hand when I clutched it even harder.
“No. Never again.” I swallowed. “I just need a minute.”
He tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “Take all the time you need, Mackenzie. I’m not going anywhere.”
When I was ready, we walked up the steps into the Cadwell home and were greeted by packs from all over the country. Jonah was well-known and well-liked. I wasn’t surprised by the number of people who showed.
During the memorial service, people spoke about Jonah and told stories, all while his body burned for the ceremony.
“It’s sort of creepy,” someone behind me said, and I jumped.
“Are you okay?” Bash quickly placed his hand on mine in reassurance.
I nodded. He watched me for a moment before looking back to the front where someone from the King’s Guard spoke about Jonah.
“Did you hear me?”
My body tensed. I shook my head a few times, not daring to look back. I couldn’t. I knew if I did—
“Mackenzie?” Jonah whispered, and I slowly looked over my shoulder. “Holy shit, you can hear me.”
I gasped, and it was easy to blend in with the quiet cries of other mourners.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I muttered as I looked into the eyes of the man whose body was being burned just a few feet away from me. “Not again …”
“Again?” he asked. “When has this happened? Did you hear the Lunas? Kenz? Talk to me!”
My right leg began to bounce erratically with the need to get the hell out of here, and it caught Bash’s attention. Even Alexander looked down at me. I gave them a tight smile and politely excused myself.
Nearly plowing through people, I sprinted into the house where I knew it would be empty and Jonah would follow. I went straight for Charles Cadwell’s office and locked the door behind me.
“Can you hear me?” Jonah’s apparition walked around me, sizing me up and down.
“Not only can I hear you, I can see you,” I whisper-yelled. “So stop looking at my ass!” If it could, I imagined Jonah’s face turning red with embarrassment, his chocolate eyes looking at the floor in shame.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I sighed. “During the Lunas’ ceremony, I got to see Blu before she was buried. I thought it was just a fluke, a one-time thing, but I guess not.”
“Is it because you’re an oracle too?”
I shrugged. “No clue.”
“Why didn’t you tell anyone? This is something you should have mentioned to Ophelia. She should know. She’s here. Let’s go.” Jonah attempted to grab my arm and haul me back outside, but his hand went right through me. He flickered before me, and for a split second, I thought he would disappear.
“Jonah,” I whispered. “Calm your tits.”
“How can you be so relaxed?”
“I’m not!” I threw my hands in the air. “You’ll be leaving soon anyway. What do you care?”
“Of course, I care, Kenz. This is major news. A hybrid such as yourself who can see the dead? That’s insane. You’re so much more than just a wolf and oracle. So much more.”
I snorted. “I don’t care to find out, Jo. The more I dig, the more trouble seems to follow. Once you’re gone, I’ll just stop going to funerals. Easy solution.” I shrugged. I was starting to get antsy, so I undid my ponytail and tousled my hair. Fuck it. I was never the one for prim and proper.
“What if I stayed, Kenz,” Jonah walked over and reached for me, but he pulled back his hand, obviously not wanting a repeat of what happened earlier. “Take some of my ashes. Keep me on this plane.”
I froze, my gray eyes shifting to silver as the wolf inside me began to make itself known. What Jonah was asking of me was … I didn’t even know. Was it against Pack law? It would be against his family’s wishes, that much I knew.
“Why would you want to stay?” I shook my head, exasperated. “No one can see you but me.”
“I don’t care. This is a second chance at life for me. I’ll get to do whatever the hell I want without the worri
es of Lycan rules.” He smiled wide, and that one dimple poked out, almost making me give in right away.
“Jo, this is a Lycan ritual that goes back to the beginning of our heritage. I’d be going against everyone—”
“It’s not like you haven’t gone against the Lycans before,” he said.
My expression hardened. “That’s not fair. I did that for a cause. What you’re asking me to do is for selfish reasons.”
“I know, Kenzie …”
A quiet took over the room. If anyone barged in, it would appear I was talking to myself like a lunatic, which wouldn’t be too absurd given the circumstances. But something in my gut was telling me this wasn’t too crazy—that this would give me the time with Jonah I was cheated out of.
I looked up at the beta and saw the gleam in his eyes. He knew he had me. He knew I’d say yes. His dimple appeared, and I nearly melted into a pool of tears with how much I missed my friend.
“Oh, Jonah,” I mumbled.
“You don’t have to, Kenz. I understand it’s crazy. I’m just not ready to die.”
And that was all I needed to hear. Unlike the situation with Amy where I had her turned into a vampire, this was entirely Jonah’s choice. I wasn’t making the same mistake twice. My friend wasn’t ready and, truth be told, neither was I.
-Present day-
“We should have told everyone the truth from the beginning,” I said. “They would have understood.”
“My father would have had you killed for what you did,” Jonah argued. “And I don’t know about Jackson … You guys have been doing so well, I don’t want to mess up your relationship. This had to stay a secret between us. No one would understand why I wanted this.”
A quiet engulfed the room, and the weight of the secret I’d been carry for months was more noticeable than ever. My shoulders were heavy and I was ready to burst with the need to tell someone, anyone.
“Bury my ashes, Kenz,” Jonah said as we sat on the sofa in my living room. “Bury them and set me free.”
I hadn’t realized I’d been crying until I licked my lips and tasted the saltiness of my tears. This was a discussion we’d had almost every night for the last two months. It was getting harder and harder to keep Jonah a secret from everyone. I was the only one who could see him. I was tired of being Whoopi Goldberg from Ghost.
From the Grave Page 2