by Jessica Fern
With love and gratitude,
Jessica Fern
NOTES
1 M. Pieper and R. Bauer, “Polyamory and Mono-normativity: Results of an Empirical Study of Non-monogamous Patterns of Intimacy.” Unpublished manuscript, 2005.
2 J. Bowlby, Attachment and Loss: Vol 1. Attachment. (New York: Basic Books, 1969).
3 M. D. Ainsworth, “The Development of Infant-Mother Attachment,” Review of Child Development Research, 3 (1973): 1–94.
4 M. Mikulincer and P. R. Shaver, Attachment in Adulthood (Second Edition): Structure, Dynamics and Change (New York: Guilford Press, 2016).
5 Mikulincer and Shaver, Attachment in Adulthood (Second Edition).
6 S. Johnson, Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (New York: Little, Brown, 2008).
7 A. N. Schore, “The Right Brain Is Dominant in Psychotherapy.” Psychotherapy 51, no. 3 (2014): 388–397.
8 Bowlby, Attachment and Loss: Vol 1.
9 Bowlby, Attachment and Loss: Vol 1.
10 D. Zeifman and C. Hazan, “Pair Bonds as Attachments: Reevaluating the Evidence,” in Handbook of Attachment: Theory, Research, and Clinical Applications, eds. J. Cassidy and P.R. Shaver (New York: Guilford Press, 2018), 436–455; E. G. Hepper and K. B. Carnelley, “Attachment and Romantic Relationships: The Role of Models of Self and Other,” in The Psychology of Love (Vol. 1), ed. M. Paludi (Santa Barbara, CA: Praeger, 2012), 133–154; D. F. Selterman, A. N. Gesselman, and A. C. Moors, “Sexuality Through the Lens of Secure Base Attachment Dynamics: Individual Differences in Sexploration,” PsyArXiv (2019), https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/zsg3x.
11 Zeifman and Hazan, “Pair Bonds as Attachments.”
12 See J. A. Feeney, 2008; Mikulincer, Florian, Cowan, and Cowan, 2002; Mikulincer and Shaver, 2007, for reviews.
13 Frei and Shaver, 2002; Joireman, Needham, and Cummings, 2002; Mikulincer, Shaver, and Slav, 2006.
14 K. P. Mark, L. M. Vowels, and S. H. Murray, “The Impact of Attachment Style on Sexual Satisfaction and Sexual Desire in a Sexually Diverse Sample,” Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy 44, no. 5 (2018): 450–458.
15 Selterman, Gesselman, and Moors, “Sexuality Through the Lens of Secure Base Attachment Dynamics.”
16 Mikulincer and Shaver, Attachment in Adulthood (Second Edition).
17 M. D. Ainsworth, M. C. Blehar, E. Waters, and S. Wall, Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation (Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum, 1978).
18 This list has been adapted from D. P. Heller and K. H. Payne, “Secure Attachment Parenting in the Digital Age,” 2019, https://attachmentmastery.com/parenting.
19 N. L. Collins and S. J. Read, “Adult Attachment, Working Models, and Relationship Quality in Dating Couples,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 58, no. 4 (1990): 644–663; K. N. Levy, “Introduction: Attachment Theory and Psychotherapy: Attachment and Psychotherapy,” Journal of Clinical Psychology 69, no. 11 (2013): 1133–1135.
20 G. Birnbaum, “Attachment Orientations, Sexual Functioning, and Relationship Satisfaction in a Community Sample of Women,” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 24, no. 1 (2007): 21–35; B. Butzer and L. Campbell, “Adult Attachment, Sexual Satisfaction, and Relationship Satisfaction: A Study of Married Couples,” Personal Relationships 15, no. 1 (2008): 141–154.
21 D. Siegel, Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation (New York: Bantam Books, 2010).
22 D. J. Wallin, Attachment in Psychotherapy (New York: Guilford Press, 2007).
23 Heller and Payne, “Secure Attachment Parenting in the Digital Age”; D. P. Brown and D. S. Elliot, Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair (New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 2016).
24 L. Campbell, J. A. Simpson, J. Boldry, and D. A. Kashy, “Perceptions of Conflict and Support in Romantic Relationships: The Role of Attachment Anxiety,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 88, no. 3 (2005): 510–531; C. Hazan and P. Shaver, “Romantic Love Conceptualized as an Attachment Process,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 52, no. 3 (1987): 511–524.
25 G. E. Birnbaum, H. Reis, M. Mikulincer, O. Gillath, and A. Orpaz, “When Sex Is More than Just Sex: Attachment Orientations, Sexual Experience, and Relationship Quality,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 91, no. 5 (2006): 929–943; A. Bogaert and S. Sadava, “Adult Attachment and Sexual Behavior,” Personal Relationships 9, no. 2 (2002): 191–204.
26 M. Main and J. Solomon, “Discovery of a New, Insecure-Disorganized/Disoriented Attachment Pattern,” in Affective Development in Infancy, eds. M. Yogman and T. B. Brazelton (Norwood, NJ: Ablex, 1986), 95–124.
27 Heller and Payne, “Secure Attachment Parenting in the Digital Age.”
28 E. Aron, The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You (New York: Carol Publishing, 1996).
29 Such as Mikulincer and Shaver, Attachment in Adulthood (Second Edition); J. Cassidy and P. Shaver, Handbook of Attachment: Theory, Research, and Clinical Applications, Third Edition (New York: Guilford Press, 2016).
30 Main and Solomon, “Discovery of a New, Insecure-Disorganized/Disoriented Attachment Pattern.”
31 A. Bartels and S. Zeki, “The Neural Basis of Romantic Love,” NeuroReport: For Rapid Communication of Neuroscience Research 11, no. 17 (2000): 3829–3834; X. Xu, A. Aron, L. Brown, G. Cao, T. Feng, and X. Weng, “Reward and Motivation Systems: A Brain Mapping Study of Early-Stage Intense Romantic Love in Chinese Participants,” Human Brain Mapping 32 (2011): 249–257.
32 B. A. Primack, A. Shensa, J. E. Sidani, E. O. Whaite, L. Y. Lin, D. Rosen, J. B. Colditz, A. Radovic, and E. Miller, “Social Media Use and Perceived Social Isolation Among Young Adults in the U.S.,” American Journal of Preventive Medicine 53, no. 1 (2017): 1–8.
33 J. Galtung, “Violence, Peace, and Peace Research,” Journal of Peace Research 6, no. 3 (1969): 167–191.
34 C. Cyr, E. M. Euser, M. J. Bakermans-Kranenburg, and M. H. Van Ijzendoorn, “Attachment Security and Disorganization in Mistreating and High-Risk Families: A Series of Meta-analyses,” Development and Psychopathology 22, no. 1 (2010): 87–108.
35 N. Hazen, S. Allen, C. Christopher, T. Umemura, and D. Jacobvitz, “Very Extensive Nonmaternal Care Predicts Mother–Infant Attachment Disorganization: Convergent Evidence from Two Samples,” Development and Psychopathology 27, no. 3 (2014): 1–13.
36 T. Fey, Bossypants (New York: Little, Brown, 2011).
37 B. Wray, “How Climate Change Affects Your Mental Health,” TED Talk (2019), video, 7:54, https://www.ted.com/talks/britt_wray_how_climate_change_affects_your_mental_health?language=en.
38 Z. Woodbury, “Climate Trauma: Towards a New Taxonomy of Traumatology,” Ecopsychology 11, no. 1 (2019): 1–8.
39 T. Hübl, “The Pocket Project,” https://thomashuebl.com/about/pocket-project/.
40 E. Perel, Mating in Captivity (New York, NY: HarperCollins, 2006).
41 M. Tafoya and B. Spitzberg, “The Dark Side of Infidelity: Its Nature, Prevalence, and Communicative Functions,” in The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication, eds. B. Spitzberg and W. Cupach (Routledge, 2009): 211–252; A. L. Vangelisti and M. Gerstenberger, “Communication and Marital Infidelity,” in The State of Affairs: Explorations in Infidelity and Commitment, eds. J. Duncombe, K. Harrison, G. Allen, and D. Marsden (Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum, 2004).
42 A. C. Moors, J. L. Matsick, and H. A. Schechinger, “Unique and Shared Relationship Benefits of Consensually Nonmonogamous and Monogamous Relationships,” European Psychologist 22, no. 1 (2017): 55–71.
43 M. Life, Spiritual Polyamory (Lincoln, NE: iUniverse, Inc., 2004), 87–95.
44 M. L. Haupert, A. N. Gesselman, A. C. Moors, H. E. Fisher, and J. R. Garcia, “Prevalence of Experiences with Consensual Nonmonogamous Relationships: Findings from Two National Samples of Single Americans,” Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy 43, no. 5 (2017): 424–440.
45 E. C. Levine, D. Herbenick, and O. Martinez, “Open
Relationships, Nonconsensual Nonmonogamy, and Monogamy Among U.S. Adults: Findings from the 2012 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 47, no. 5 (2018): 1439–1450; J. D. Rubin, A. C. Moors, J. L. Matsick, A. Ziegler, and T. D. Conley, “On the Margins: Considering Diversity Among Consensually Nonmonogamous Relationships.” Journal für Psychologie 22, no. 1 (2014): 19–37.
46 T. D. Conley, J. L. Matsick, A. C. Moors, and A. Ziegler, “Investigation of Consensually Nonmonogamous Relationships: Theories, Methods, and New Directions,” Perspectives on Psychological Science 12, no. 2 (2017): 205–232; University of Guelph, “Open Relationships Just as Satisfying as Monogamous Ones,” ScienceDaily, June 28, 2018, www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/06/180628151713.htm
47 J. K. Mogilski, S. D. Reeve, S. C. A. Nicolas, S. H. Donaldson, V. E. Mitchell, and L. L. M. Welling, “Jealousy, Consent, and Compersion within Monogamous and Consensually Non-monogamous Romantic Relationships,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 48, no. 2 (2019): 1811–1828, doi:10.1007/s10508–018–1286–4; Conley, Matsick, Moors, and Ziegler, “Investigation of Consensually Nonmonogamous Relationships.”
48 S. Sinek, Find Your Why: A Practical Guide for Discovering Purpose for You and Your Team (New York: Portfolio /Penguin, 2011).
49 Moors, Matsick, and Schechinger, “Unique and Shared Relationship Benefits of Consensually Nonmonogamous and Monogamous Relationships.”
50 A. C. Moors, J. Matsick, A. Ziegler, J. Rubin, and T. Conley, “Stigma Toward Individuals Engaged in Consensual Nonmonogamy: Robust and Worthy of Additional Research,” Analyses of Social Issues and Public Policy 13, no. 1 (2013): 52–69, https://doi.org/10.1111/asap.12020.
51 F. Veaux and E. Rickert, More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory (Portland, OR: Thorntree Press, 2014).
52 A. Nordgren, “The Short Instructional Manifesto for Relationship Anarchy,” log.andie.se. Originally published as Relationsanarki i 8 punkter, Interacting Arts, 2006.
53 A. C. Moors, T. D. Conley, R. S. Edelstein, and W. J. Chopik, “Attached to Monogamy? Avoidance Predicts Willingness to Engage (But not Actual Engagement) in Consensual Nonmonogamy,” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 32, no. 2 (2014): 222–240.
54 G. Birnbaum, “Attachment and Sexual Mating: The Joint Operation of Separate Motivational Systems,” in Handbook of Attachment: Theory, Research, and Clinical Applications, Second Edition, eds. J. Cassidy and P. A. Shaver (New York: Guilford Press, 2016).
55 Moors, Conley, Edelstein, and Chopik, “Attached to Monogamy?”
56 M. E. Bricker and S. G. Horne, “Gay Men in Long-Term Relationships: The Impact of Monogamy and Nonmonogamy on Relational Health,” Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy 6, no. 4 (2007): 27–47.
57 S. King, “Attachment Security: Polyamory and Monogamy A Comparison Analysis” (2014). Retrieved from UMI Dissertation Publishing, UMI 3581155.
58 A. C. Moors, W. S. Ryan, and W. J. Chopik, “Multiple Loves: The Effects of Attachment with Multiple Concurrent Romantic Partners on Relational Functioning,” Personality and Individual Differences 147 (2019): 102–110
59 C. Power, “How Secure Functioning Can Help Polyamorous Couples,” 2014, https://stantatkinblog.wordpress.com/2018/01/15/how-secure-functioning-can-help-polyamorous-couples.
60 J. A. Simpson and J. Belsky, “Attachment Theory within a Modern Evolutionary Framework,” in Handbook of Attachment: Theory, Research, and Clinical Applications, Third Edition, eds. J. Cassidy and P. R. Shaver (New York: Guilford Press, 2018).
61 Johnson, Hold Me Tight.
62 Johnson, Hold Me Tight.
63 E. Sheff, The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple Partner Relationships and Families (Lanham, MD: Rowman and Littlefield, 2014); E. Sheff, “Polyphobia: Anti-Polyamorous Prejudice and Discrimination,” 2017, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door/201707/polyphobia
64 Sheff, “Polyphobia.”
65 B. Van der Kolk, “Cumulative Effects of Trauma,” Collective Trauma Online Summit, 2019, https://thomashuebl.com/event/collective-trauma-online-summit.
66 S. Joseph, “Growth Following Adversity: Positive Psychological Perspectives on Posttraumatic Stress,” Psihologijske Teme 18, no. 2 (2009): 335–344.
67 R. G. Tedeschi and L. G. Calhoun, “Posttraumatic Growth: Conceptual Foundations and Empirical Evidence,” Psychological Inquiry 15, no. 1 (2004): 1–18.
68 Bowlby, Attachment and Loss: Vol 1.
69 S. Johnson, “Intensive Course in Emotionally Focused Therapy with Sue Johnson: Attachment-Based Interventions for Couples in Crisis,” Lesson Two, https://catalog.pesi.com/sales/bh_001234_eftintensive_011518_organic-78213
70 Brown and Elliot, Attachment Disturbances in Adults.
71 J. Gottman, J. S. Gottman, D. C. Abrams, and R. C. Abrams, Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (New York: Workman Publishing Company, 2018).
72 Siegel, Mindsight.
73 B. Brown, Men, Women, and Worthiness: The Experience of Shame and the Power of Being Enough (Audiobook; Boulder, CO: Sounds True, 2012).
74 Brown and Elliot, Attachment Disturbances in Adults.
75 R. C. Schwartz, Internal Family Systems Therapy (The Guilford Family Therapy Series) (New York: Guilford Press, 1995).
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