by Natalie Ann
“Think nothing of it,” Travis said. “And there’s no reason to be intimated by me. I’ve seen you take someone down faster than I could.”
Mason winced. “Yeah. Well, that was a lifetime of insecurities coming to the forefront. I guess in our own rights, we’ve all got them.”
“Everyone has them,” Travis agreed.
Mason stared at him, then said. “Yeah. Some people are just better at hiding them than others.”
The rest of the time was spent talking about the cameras and security. Then Travis left the building with Mason and drove home.
He was starting to have a better understanding of Ella, and actually felt a little sympathy for her growing up. He supposed most people looked at her and thought she had it all together. Probably the same as people thought when they looked at him.
But as Mason said, everyone had insecurities, including him.
A Kick In The Butt
On Friday night, he pushed those insecurities away and opened his front door for Ella. He was still trying to understand what possessed him to invite her to his house when, like he’d told his father, he’d never had another woman here other than Julia. Even then she’d only stayed when he was here on leave, never by herself. Julia never liked to be alone.
He hoped his father wasn’t paying attention to the car in the driveway, but something was telling him he wouldn’t get that wish.
“You didn’t have a problem finding it, I see?” he said.
She took her jacket off and handed it over. She had a pair of nicely fitted olive-colored jeans on and a pretty sweater with multiple colors. Her little gray ankle boots were making his mouth water, but he snapped his eyes back to her face and hoped she didn’t notice his lingering stare.
“Nothing is hard to find when you’ve got Google Maps.”
“That’s true. Come on in and I’ll give you a tour. There isn’t much to see, but it suits me.”
He lived in an older neighborhood, not some fancy townhouse or development, but his little bungalow was perfect in his eyes.
“It’s very nice in here,” she said. “Very craftsman, and so like you.”
“Thanks, I think.”
“It’s a compliment. Too often we see modern and clean lines. New and fresh, and that’s all great, but sometimes older is better. Is more important because it carries memories with it.”
“I just like the dark wood,” he said, laughing at her.
She blushed slightly but smiled while he walked her through each room and the three bedrooms. No master bath here, but he did have two full baths which not all houses in this area had.
They ended up in the back of the house in his kitchen again. He’d remodeled it last year adding a small island to work at and a built-in seating area.
“What can I help you with?” she asked, moving toward the island he was standing at where most of the dinner was laid out.
“You can just sit and relax. You cooked for me the other night, so it’s my turn to return the favor. There’s not much to do. I made a quinoa salad earlier. I like it better cold. The salmon won’t take long, neither will the asparagus.”
“This is a great dinner. I feel bad just making lasagna for you the other day. I know we have the healthy eating thing in common, but I still pictured you as more of a meat and potatoes or pasta and bread eater.”
“I do both, and I realized you probably did that for me, so I’ll make this for you.”
She walked over and did something he never expected. She put her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest. It was a vulnerable side to her again, but he didn’t know what caused it.
“If I knew dinner would get me a hug, then dessert should get me a kiss.”
“Or a kick in the butt,” she said.
“What?” he asked, looking up from where he was cutting the asparagus.
“What did you get for dessert?”
“I bought some chocolate layer cake.” She bared her teeth at him. “What? Are you allergic to chocolate or something?”
“No. Chocolate is my one huge weakness. It’s a good thing I let my stationary bike kick my butt this morning so I won’t feel so guilty about the cake.”
“You don’t have to eat it,” he pointed out, shocked she had two weaknesses now. Though he didn’t consider chocolate a weakness on someone who was built like her.
“Are you kidding me? Of course I’ve got to. You bought it and it’s going to be within ten feet of me so there is no way I can’t have a piece. That’d be rude.”
“That’s just the excuse you’re giving yourself,” he said, grinning at her.
“Exactly.”
“So tell me why someone who is as skinny as you is afraid of some chocolate.”
She walked to his fridge and he liked that she made herself at home like he’d done at her place. He didn’t even think to offer her a drink, but she helped herself to a bottle of water. He just wasn’t used to entertaining.
“I’m not afraid of chocolate, it’s just I can’t seem to help myself when I’m around it. And I’m not skinny, but toned. There’s a difference.”
He hoped to see that difference at some point but was wise enough to not voice that out loud. “So what do you do to get so toned? Let your stationary bike kick your butt, what, a few times a week?”
She snorted. “I have one of those bikes that has an instructor on a screen that yells at you to keep moving. I pick the hardest and longest program twice a week and let her scream at me nonstop so I can curse and yell right back at what a little...snot she is.”
He laughed. “You swear?”
“I’ve got four older brothers. I swear more than any lady should but try to curb it around others outside of family.”
“So what do you do the other days?” There was no way she looked like that with just a few days of exercise even though they’d already established they both had health and fitness in common.
“Yoga. At least an hour each morning to start my day. It helps center me.” She ran her hand up his arm and he fought back the groan. “I bet you don’t do a lot of yoga but have some weights set up in your basement or something?”
“No yoga. I couldn’t even imagine getting my body in some of those positions without falling to the ground and shaking the whole house. Weights and treadmill down there. Cardio three times a week, weights five times. Mornings are best, but sometimes work gets in the way and I’ll do it at night.”
“Bet, like me, you never miss a day. And you’d be surprised how flexible some guys can be. I’ve seen them at a few classes I’ve taken.”
“I don’t miss a day if I can avoid it and there is no way you are getting me to any yoga class so don’t even think about it,” he said. Just the thought of that was shrinking his manhood. The guys in his squad would bust a nut laughing at him. And the thought of them was a small twist in the gut too. He missed them more than he thought he would. It wasn’t just the life he left behind, but the bond of brotherhood.
“Oh, I could get you in a few poses if I wanted to.”
He was terrified she could get him to do anything she wanted if she kept looking like that at him. It was best to change the subject before her eyes glanced down and saw what his body was really feeling.
“So why are you so afraid to be around chocolate? I get the feeling that someone like you has enough control to not gorge yourself on it. You work above a restaurant that has desserts in it daily.”
“It’s gotten even worse with Nic working there now and all her Italian pastries. I try to stay out of that part of the kitchen if I can. And between us, I have a hard time stopping at one. Hence the weakness part.”
“A few pounds might give you some curves. Not that I think you need any because, honestly, I like what you’ve got, but I’d like anything you had too.”
She laughed. “Curves to my hips? Sure, if that is where I ever gained weight. And I can’t believe I’m going to tell you this, but when I gain weight, it goes right to my boobs.”
Which was where his eyes drifted. “And the problem with that is?”
“The problem is that your eyes went right there. If they got too big, then it’d be one more thing I’d have to worry a man was looking at, thinking about, or wanting me for.”
That put him in his place. “No problem there. I want you just the way you are.”
Then he yanked her forward and kissed her with all the pent-up hormones from the conversation they were having.
Only One
“So which house is your father’s?” she asked while they were sitting down eating dinner. She liked his house. It was masculine with the dark wood trim and built-ins. She’d never tell Travis this, but she felt like he was an old soul. That there was something in his nature that just made her think of warriors from ancient times clothed only in a few scraps of material with shields on their forearms.
Those that protected the home, protected their loved ones, and protected their heart.
She didn’t need a man to protect her or her home. She wasn’t sure about her heart though. She was still reserving judgment, and so far, she figured he was too.
Whatever they had right now, it was staying in the light category and it was working for her as much as she suspected it was working for him.
“The one on the right.”
“So he could see my car in the driveway if he happened to look out a window?” she asked.
“He could,” he said, using his fork to slice into a piece of the salmon that was perfectly cooked. Aiden would be so impressed. “Does that bother you?”
“No. You said he already knew we’d been on a date, so I don’t think he’d be surprised to know I was here. I’m sure he’s seen lots of cars in your driveway over the years.”
“Not many,” he said.
She couldn’t let that go. She had to ask. “How many is not many?”
“If you’re asking about women, then only one. If you’re asking about other people, then a few friends over the years.”
His fiancée, she was assuming. “You don’t have a lot of friends?” she asked.
“I’ve got friends; they just don’t live around here.”
“Friends from the service then?”
He nodded. “Yep. It’s like a brotherhood. We keep in touch, but they’re on assignments and I’ve got a business to run.”
He said that so matter of fact, like it was a rehearsed speech. “Do you mind talking about your time in the service, or will that be too hard for you?”
“It’s not hard at all,” he said smoothly. She believed him when he said it. Like he would love nothing more than to talk about those times over anything else of a personal nature she wanted to ask.
“So you miss it?”
“I do at times. I miss the bond I had with them. Knowing someone had my back. Knowing I had to have someone’s back. The trust that we’d do it together and never let the other down. We had some good times,” he said, shaking his head.
She pushed the soft look in his eyes away for the moment. “Someone let you down?” she asked and wondered why she did. But there was so much about him she just wanted to know.
“Not in the way you think. It’s more like I let someone down.”
“And you’d rather not talk about it, I’m guessing?”
“Not right yet.” He took a deep breath. “Just know one thing, Ella. It’s complicated. I’m not hiding anything from you and I’ll answer any questions you have, but at times I just won’t go into details.”
It was more than she could have asked for. “When you’re ready then I’ll be here to listen to it.”
“Thanks. What about you? Do you have a lot of friends?”
She picked up a stem of the asparagus. “My sisters-in-law, or future sisters-in-law, are all wonderful women. I proudly call them my friends along with my family. Sisters I never had and didn’t really want if I had to confess that fact.”
“I bet deep down you really liked being the only girl in the house. Admit it.”
“There was my mother too, so I wasn’t the only girl. But yeah, it had its advantages. The boys were really close to my mother. At times it was annoying because she wanted the mother-daughter closeness of girly things and when I was younger I wanted no part of it.”
“But when you hit that stage as a teen?” he asked.
“Then our bond was shopping. As you know, I love to shop. I love clothes. It’s a thing my mother and I do together several times a year. Or we go to the spa and get our nails done. Things like that. Girly things.”
“Girly things look really nice on you.”
“Thanks.”
“So no other friends then?”
“Not like you think. Nothing as close to what you’ve got with the men you served with.” She decided to let him in on another insecurity she had. “You know how I said I don’t have a lot of confidence when it comes to men?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t with women either. Not as friends. For years most of the girls I was friends with were with me because they wanted the attention of my brothers. One or more than one of them. Some didn’t care as long as they got someone’s attention.”
“So you’re not used to having someone wanting you for just what you’ve got to offer?” he asked quietly.
“No.”
“You do now,” he said.
She smiled and put her head down, her pulse racing and throbbing in all parts of her body that hadn’t seen action in so long she wondered if it was possible for them to wither away.
The two of them were as different as night and day if someone looked at them. Travis was an inch or so taller than her brothers, but just a tad shorter than her father. She guessed he was about six-three, but he had more muscles than any of her brothers could even consider having.
He still sported a military haircut that he wore with authority and a rank she imagined he carried with pride. He walked with a confidence that most men would never even experience and he had a look that could push most people aside without saying a word.
But he always had a smile for her. Or he did now at least.
Travis was nothing like the bulk of the men that interested her in the past. Of course she supposed she had bad taste back then because no one was really interested in her for herself.
Not like Travis was.
“You’re the first guy I’ve asked out on a date in a long time,” she confessed.
“How long is long?”
“Since college.”
“I refuse to believe you haven’t been on a date in what? Ten years? You’re thirty-two?”
“Going to be thirty-two. And of course not. It’s been a few years for sure, but not ten by any means.” Though her supply of batteries was running low, not that she’d tell that to anyone either. Those types of boyfriends came out of the drawer when the need arose and didn’t say a word to her. Didn’t make her doubt herself or have questions. They gave her relief and then she rolled over and went to sleep.
They also didn’t show her any affection, which she was desperately craving.
“I’m thirty-five, before you ask. Older than you.”
“Not by much and at this stage of our lives, it’s not a big deal. Can I ask how old your fiancée was? Was she younger?”
“I was thirty-one at the time and she was twenty-five. Yes, younger.”
“What was her name?” she asked, taking a chance.
“Julia.”
“It’s a pretty name.”
“She was a pretty girl. And so you know, you two were nothing alike at all.”
Her face paled. “So you’re with me because I’m different than what you lost?”
“I’m with you because I want to be. I’m with you because I’m attracted to you. What I had with Julia was a different kind of relationship.”
“What did she do for a living?” she asked, trying to keep the conversation as light as she could. It probably was impossible at this point, but she was starting to feel b
ad about prying.
“She worked in the office for one of my suppliers. We’d talk when I had orders and shipments. She was a friendly face when I was home on leave and my father ran the company. I’d help him out and we met that way.”
“How long did you date?”
“About a year,” he said, picking his beer up. She sensed he was getting anxious.
“She didn’t like you being in the service, did she?” she asked, just guessing.
“No. It scared her. Made her nervous. She scared easily and was nervous a lot. She was timid and I felt like this big brute of a guy around her, but she liked that she felt secure around me too. She was conflicted with it. We met when I was in the service. She knew what she was getting into.”
“And you liked to take care of her,” Ella said, smiling.
“In the beginning, but then it got stressful. It was a weight on my shoulders when I was so far away. When I couldn’t do anything for her if she needed it. When the simplest little thing couldn’t be answered or taken care of unless she talked to me first. And I wasn’t always available.”
Ella reached her hand forward. “I won’t ever be a weight on your shoulders, Travis. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I don’t need someone to protect me or watch out for me. I’ve been fighting it from my brothers and father for years. I don’t want it from a man I may end up with.”
“Protection and support go both ways, Ella. When it’s shared it’s not a burden but a prize.”
Driving Force
It’d been a few days since Ella had dinner at his house. Since he bared more of his soul than he thought he’d do to anyone, let alone a woman.
No one knew how much he missed the service, not even his father.
He knew he needed to be home, so he did what was right.
Ella never asked specifics, but she knew what to ask to get the information she was looking for.