Fierce-Ella (The Fierce Five Series Book 5)
Page 17
When she toed her heels off, he let out a sigh, so she lowered her pants and turned around, letting him see that the lace was barely there and not covering a bit of her backside.
“Oh yeah. That’s what I’m talking about.” She held back the urge to giggle—and wondered about the last time she giggled over anything—and slid her heels back on. “Darling, it’s like you read my mind. Are you sure you’ve never done this before?”
She spun around a bit and lifted the tail of her shirt up, swiveling her hips for his viewing pleasure. “Just for you, Travis.”
“Then come a little closer and do it again,” he said.
His voice was getting husky and she was sure hers was matching it. She turned back, strutted toward him in her heels like she was stomping down the catwalk she always imagined in her mind. Her hips were shifting side to side, her hand secretly coming up to swish the shirt out of the way giving him teasing glimpses.
No, she’d never done this before, but she sure the hell always wanted to for some man in her life. She never thought that man would be Travis.
She stopped right in front of him, did a little squat with her hand trailing down his leg, noticed the bulge in front of his pants, then pivoted on her heel so her back was to him while squatting down. Then she stretched her legs up slowly, her arms still on the ground, giving him one hell of a view.
She was feeling confident, she was feeling sexy, then she was feeling the heat from a handprint quickly landing on her ass.
Before she could say anything, his hands were on her hips, twisting her around and putting her on top of him, her knees spread wide, her chest right in his face and his mouth going to the swell over her bra. What little she had in the boob department was being pushed up for him.
“I’m supposed to be giving you a show, not the other way around.”
“I’m done watching. It’s time to show you what you do to me,” he said, his teeth starting to graze her sensitive skin.
His hand slid up her ribs, then around to the front where her bra clasp was, releasing it with the cups falling open to the sides like her shirt, just hanging there, putting everything on display for him. A peep show for lack of a better word.
He went from using his teeth to his tongue, lapping her up like a kitten attacking spilled milk on the table, pulling her in. Sucking on one nipple then the other, tugging at it like he was a starving man and this was the only nourishment he wanted. The only thing he would ever need.
The more aggressive he got with her breasts, the more her back arched. Her long hair was hanging down her back and tickling her calf and she was resembling a taut bow.
What started out as her wanting to do something for him, turned into him taking control and giving her something.
He hugged her closer, her crotch and his grinding together. Her little lace thong no match for the roughness of his jeans.
Her hands snaked down and found his button and zipper, then reached in and freed him from the confines of his clothing. Rock hard and filling her hand with a heat strong enough to burn.
“Get a condom,” he said around a mouthful.
“Or not,” she said. “I started the pill a few months ago. I’d say it’s been long enough to give it a try.”
“Your choice,” he said. “It’s your body, but know that I’ve been always protected but with one person.”
She didn’t want to think of that right now. She would have never gone on birth control if she didn’t know he’d been responsible before. He’d told her once before that he’d always been protected and the condom broke with Julia. Then he decided why bother afterward since she was pregnant. Since then, he’d always been a Boy Scout.
But he was right that it was her body and she wanted something else she’d never had before. “A night of firsts,” she said. “Let’s go for three.”
“I can handle three rounds of sex,” he said lifting her up as she nudged her thong out of the way. He slowly eased her down and she was finding it hard to form thoughts, let alone words.
“I meant the kiss in my old bedroom, the little show for you, and now this. Three firsts.”
“Damn,” he said, but she didn’t know if he was swearing over the feelings of the heat surrounding him because she sure the hell felt like dropping the F-bomb right now when he filled her up completely. Or if he was disappointed over her explanation of the threes.
It really didn’t matter. They could do what he wanted to...later though. After she got through this round because right now the only thoughts in her mind were the big strong man under her, lifting his hips while his hands brought her right back down.
She was going to be the puppet right now, and he could be the master. He could control her body because she had all the faith in the world that he was going to bring her to the point that would send them both into another world.
The faster he was moving them, the more she felt the pressure build. She needed more though and she decided to take care of that herself, lowering her hand down and putting it to work on the swollen bud that was just dying to be touched.
“Oh God,” she said, her head going back again, her spine curving and his arms wrapping her up tight.
She was no longer bouncing up and down but being held in place as she worked herself over and he continued to possess her.
He started to shift and she didn’t know what he was doing until he stood up, forcing her to wrap her legs around his waist while he held her up. Her hand was trapped between their bodies and couldn’t move, so she let it go, but that was fine because his large hand moved to her lower back, pressing her as tightly as could be to him while he moved in and out in short rapid movements.
There was a friction being created by that move that she’d never be able to create herself and her body was starting to spiral up and out of control, her mouth going to his neck, her teeth sinking in to stop the shout that was ready to spring forth.
He must have been walking, but she had no clue until she felt something against her back and realized it was the wall. He was pinning her there, one hand bracing himself as the other held her close. It gave him enough leverage that he was able to increase his speed to long strong strokes, which was just fine because she was screaming into his shoulder and squeezing him tight every time he tried to pull out.
He had to have been feeling what she was because the next thing she knew he was leaving his mark on her shoulder. Not with teeth, but his lips. The pressure and the pulsing, the heat of it all and she was lost.
In a moment of intensity like that, she’d given in to the urge to be a little more aggressive than normal, marking him as he did to her.
Not Travis though. He found a way to soften his mark at just the right time.
Going to Mean Something
Ella was a nervous wreck the next morning.
This was nothing like how she felt last night branching out into a sexual drive she never knew she had.
Nothing like the first time she asked a boy to a dance.
Not even when she was waiting to find out if she’d passed her driver’s test that she took before her brothers, wanting to be the one to claim it first.
This was different. This was meeting a man’s mother for the first time.
Though Carol wouldn’t know who she was and probably wouldn’t remember her either, it was still Travis’s mother and it was going to mean something.
“We don’t have to do this,” Travis said when they were cleaning up breakfast.
“I want to. Not just for me or for you, but for us. I understand if you would rather not though. I realized that I probably turned into the little steamroller that my mother is always accused of in the past twenty-four hours.”
“Oh, you can steamroll over me in the bedroom anytime you want.”
She winked at him. “Same goes, bud.”
“As for this,” he said, “I’m good with it. I’d like it, if you want me to be honest. I know she isn’t going to know I’m her son or that you’re my girlf
riend. I understand that. But it’s the principle of it. It’s the thought behind it.”
“Did Julia ever meet your mother?” she asked. She really hated bringing it up, but sometimes she just wanted to know in order to understand Travis better.
“Of course she did. My mother was more lucid back then. She knew who I was. She knew Julia’s name and knew she was my girlfriend, but oftentimes would have to be reminded of it. This was before my mother moved to the nursing home. Things were better for my mother back then.”
“But worse for your father,” she’d said.
“Yes. I tried to help out when I was home, but it was hard. I was dividing my time the best I could.”
She tried to find a delicate way to ask this but knew that might be impossible. “Did Julia resent that you had to divide your time when you were home?”
He looked startled by her question and she wanted to take it back, but he said, “Yeah. No one ever saw it. She never said it, but I felt it. It was an underlying stress I had to deal with. That I felt I had to choose between the woman who raised me and the one I was going to have a family with.”
“I’m sorry you had so much stress on your shoulders back then. Between your relationship, impending fatherhood, and I’m guessing your job was more stressful than you’d ever admit...life had to be pretty hard for you at times even before Julia’s death.”
***
Travis put the last dirty dish in the dishwasher and turned to face Ella. She was the first person ever who figured that out. Who even hinted that she knew what he might have been going through.
Of course he was good at portraying that he had it all together and could handle anything that was thrown his way. He’d lied to a lot of people back then, himself included. Like Ella, he’d never wanted anyone to think he was weak.
His father didn’t even know the details about his relationship with Julia. When Travis found out he was going to be a father, he was both thrilled and scared at once.
How was he going to balance the career he loved so much and be a husband and father while doing it?
Who was going to watch out for his wife and daughter while he was gone?
Could he keep them safe? The answer to that had been no, he couldn’t and he hadn’t. And he’d had to live with that knowledge for years.
Then when he left his military career behind and came home to help with his mother, he found it was too late for even that. Another guilt and poor decisions on his part he’d have to reconcile his soul with.
That he never realized how bad things had gotten, or that his father was hiding so much of it from him. Guess he’d inherited that trait from his father as well.
He let his love of the military cloud the rest of his world and things that should have been more important in his life passed him by.
He wouldn’t let that happen ever again. And he wouldn’t hide things either.
“It was. You’re the first person to even ask me that.”
“I shouldn’t pry or ask those things. It’s a bad habit my mother has and I always told myself I wouldn’t do what she does, yet here I am taking after her.”
“I’m glad you do. I’m glad you are. Stop always apologizing for things.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“You said you were sorry I had so much stress and pressure. It’s nothing for you to apologize for. For someone that is so strong yourself, you apologize a lot for things. Why?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I never used to. I never used to do a lot of things until I met you.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” he said.
“I think it is. I think I’ve learned a lot about myself in the past few months and I think you’ve had a hand in it.”
“I’m glad I could help,” he said.
“Now you’re just trying to change the subject about what I said.”
He sighed. “I’m not the only person on the face of this earth who’s had to deal with a lot of stress on their plate. Some of mine was self-made and I’ve got no one to blame but myself.”
“Don’t make me pinch you like my mother does to my father and brothers all the time. It’s not your fault as much as you think it is.”
“I know I couldn’t control what was going on with my mother back then any more than I can right now.”
“Or with Julia. Relationships are meant to be about two people working together. Not one making the other feel guilty for their decisions.”
He laughed. “I get it. I do. When you love someone, you make concessions though.”
“And you loved Julia,” she said.
“I did.” He wasn’t going to lie about it. The thing is, he wasn’t going to tell her that it wasn’t anything like the love he was starting to feel for her. They weren’t there yet and though he told himself he wasn’t going to hide things, he wasn’t ready to make this declaration either.
“I’m glad you’re able to move on. Not many people would be able to move on from something that traumatic.”
He looked at her, saw something in her eyes she didn’t want him to see, but he didn’t question it. If she’d had anything extremely traumatic happen to her, he would have found it when he’d checked into the entire family years ago. Not to mention someone would have said something in her family, he was positive.
But there was something she wasn’t saying. Something that maybe kept her from moving on until recently and he wondered if he’d ever find out.
“Sometimes it’s all about just putting one foot in front of the other.”
“Isn’t that the truth,” she said, drying her hands. “Are you ready to go?”
“I am,” he said. “Ella?”
“What?” she said, smiling at him so bright it just took his breath away. If she’d ever bestowed that look on him years ago, they’d be married with a couple of kids by now. That thought completely froze him in place.
“Nothing.”
“No,” she said. “You had something to say, I want you to say it. Don’t try to play it off. I’m a big girl. I can take anything. I’ve done my fair share of throwing hard questions your way.”
She had. “I’m sure you’ve had a lot of stress and pressure in your life that you don’t want anyone to know about either. Things like that guide us into decisions that either help or hinder us.”
“I have. Nothing like you. People look at the five of us. The Fierce Five we were called growing up. Our last name is a strong one to live up to. Add on the fact of being the only girl. Well, that’s all old news for you. But building this business like we did, we all put our lives on hold for it. That’s what you might call a decision that hindered us.”
“Seems to me you’re all catching up right now with the help of your mom.”
He wouldn’t say he wished she could free up more time for them to be together like her brothers seemed to have mastered. That would be putting pressure on their relationship they didn’t need. She’d have to want to make that change herself…it’d mean more that way. He’d never ask for it.
She reached out and pinched his arm like she said she wouldn’t and then she laughed. “Don’t say that in front of her.”
“I won’t.” He leaned down and kissed her. “It’s time to go meet my mother.”
The two of them just chatted in the car about mundane topics now. They’d been getting on some boggy ground this morning with parts of their conversations, but he often wondered if things would have been different if he and Julia had been more open and talked more freely.
Then he told himself to stop comparing the two. They’d never measure up and he was driving himself insane even thinking that way.
He was always going to grieve for his daughter—for Violet. And he was going to grieve for Julia even though they didn’t have nearly the relationship that was considered healthy. Not like what he and Ella had.
But he was going to move on like he’d been telling himself for years. Because if there was one thing he wanted to do, it was to honor
his mother and try to be happy. Try to smile for people.
To do that, he had to believe it deep down.
He was finally starting to.
When they walked into the nursing home, Ella was grinning and waving at several people who’d done it to her. She didn’t seem so nervous now and was friendlier than he’d ever seen her.
Whether she was putting on a show—which he didn’t believe—or she truly just wanted to say hi to some strangers, he didn’t know and wouldn’t ask.
They walked into his mother’s room. His father was sitting in the chair watching TV. Both he and Ella should have been to work by now, but neither of them said a word about the time.
That she was taking time away from what he assumed was the most important thing in her life—her job—to meet his mother who wouldn’t even remember it, meant the world to him. Again, she did it without being asked.
“Ella,” his father said when he saw them walk in together. He hadn’t told his father of the plans in case Ella changed her mind.
“Mr. McKinley. It’s so nice to see you again.”
“Call me, Ken, please.”
Ella nodded, then looked over at his mother sitting in the chair looking at the cards on the table, just moving them around in a game of solitaire. She wasn’t playing it right, but no one would tell her that. The fact she was trying was enough.
“Hi, Mom,” he said, moving closer. “I brought someone to meet you.” He held his hand out for Ella to move forward, then he put his arm around her waist.
“Hi, young man. So good to see you again. I know your friend,” she said.
He kept his smile in place for her. “Do you? When did you meet her?” he asked.
His mother laughed. “I’m not supposed to tell you those things. It was a naughty night for me.”
His father turned his head and said, “You better not have been getting naughty with anyone other than me, Carol.”
Ella was watching the interaction and Travis could see she didn’t know what to make of it. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. McKinley.”