by Kelly Risser
July passed too quickly. I became Mom’s regular driver when she had to go for chemo. She seemed to take the treatments okay, although they made her tired and gave her an upset stomach. We didn’t talk about David on those drives. I hadn’t dreamed of him again, and Mom never brought him up. On the days Mom didn’t have treatments, I hung out with either Katie, Evan, or both of them.
I tried to avoid thinking about school, but my enrollment materials came in the mail, along with a supply list and class schedule. I was comfortable with every class they placed me in. Katie called that night, and we compared notes. We had lunch together, as well as first period Literature.
“You’re not worried, are you, Meara?” Katie asked.
“A little,” I admitted.
“Don’t be,” she said. “I’ll show you around, especially since we have first period together. How cool is that?”
“It’s great,” I said, and I meant it. Katie and I had grown close over the last month. At first she came across kind of strong, but once I got used her personality, she was a lot of fun.
“Are you ready for our shopping trip tomorrow?”
Katie convinced me that the best time to shop for new school clothes was the beginning of August when the stores had the best selection. I hadn’t been to the mall yet. As soon as she heard that, she arranged the trip.
“All set,” I confirmed. “You’ll give my mom a lift to the clinic, right?”
“No problem,” Katie said. “I’ll pick you up at nine o’clock, okay? See you tomorrow.”
“Bye.” I hung up the phone and flopped back on my bed. I was excited about tomorrow. Sure, it was just shopping, but I hadn’t been to a mall in forever. I missed Kim, and I was getting apprehensive about starting at a new school, in a new country. There was nothing like a new outfit or two to boost your confidence.
I’d asked Ula on Wednesday if she wanted to go with us, but she declined. She gestured to her outfit, a bright paisley swirled dress reminiscent of the 60s, and told me that the mall didn’t sell the type of clothes she liked to wear. I couldn’t disagree with her. I told her she could just hang out and not buy anything, but she politely declined.
I eventually fell asleep and dreamed I was on the beach again, where I first saw the man who said he was David. This time was different from my previous two dreams about him. Rather than participate in the dream, I was a bystander.
My mother stood in front of me. Young and beautiful, she looked like she did in the black and white photo on my dresser. Her glossy, chestnut-brown hair waved down her back and ended at her waist. She wore a bright yellow sundress that swirled at her ankles. Her feet were bare, as was her face. She looked fresh and vibrant, a rosy hue blooming on her cheeks. She was locked in the arms of a handsome man. The man from my dreams. David.
He held her close, resting his chin on her head with his arms wrapped around her waist. Their eyes were closed, and they appeared to be swaying to a song I couldn’t hear.
“You’ll leave,” she said.
He nodded without opening his eyes and tightened his grip on her. “I have to.”
“Will you return?”
He paused for a moment, and then sighed before replying. “I don’t know.”
I watched my mom’s face tighten as if struggling with some internal war. For a moment, she looked desperate, and then her face relaxed. She opened her eyes and stared up at him.
“I don’t care!” she cried. “If we only have this summer together, it’s more than I’ve ever had with anyone else. I love you!”
He took her chin in his hand and leaned close, whispering. “If I hurt you, it’s never what I intended. I love you, Sharon, more than I have ever loved another woman.”
With that, he kissed her deeply. I shuffled my feet, embarrassed. Jeez, these people were my parents. If this was a glimpse of what had been between them, then I had no doubt that David had loved my mom. Very much.