Although my brain came up with a million excuses to push Logan away, my heart knew immediately that he was the one for me. Fourteen years ago in front of my locker he stole a piece of my heart. The day he walked into my bakery he stole the rest of it, just like Pop had done to Wavy all those years ago in the exact same spot.
Logan moaned before his eyes squinted open. The satisfied smile he wore while asleep got bigger when his gaze landed on me.
“Mornin’, Slugger.”
“Good morning, college boy.”
“I like waking up next to you,” he said.
“Funny, I like waking up next to you.”
“We have so much more in common than either of us thought a week ago.”
“Especially, that thing we did at 12 a.m.”
Logan rolled on top of me. “And 1 a.m.”
“And 2:35 a.m.” I giggled.
He had me completely flat on my back as he looked down at me.
“Goddamn, you’re gorgeous in the morning.” The tip of his nose traveled along my jawline. “And you smell incredible.”
I ran my nails up and down the side of his torso. “I do?”
“Yep. It’s a mix of you, me, and sex.”
“Mr. Heath, you say the sweetest things.”
“I wonder if you taste as good as you smell?”
Before my brain could process his words, Logan disappeared, but not for long. Slipping his arms underneath my legs, he held me still while kissing my inner thigh. Butterflies swarmed my stomach and my entire body vibrated with anticipation. I was about to experience a whole new world of pleasure. This was the first time I felt comfortable enough with a man to let him do anything, and I do mean anything, he wanted to do to me.
Once Logan was done with my inner thigh, he moved slowly to my center. He took his time kissing me gently before licking me from bottom to top. My back arched off of the bed. I needed to grab hold of something, but I couldn’t decide between the sheets and Logan’s hair. A second later Logan made the decision for me.
With my legs draped over his shoulders and his hands firmly planted on my ass, Logan lifted me up, making his head just out of reach. As his mouth covered me, I raised my hands above my head and grabbed the rails of my headboard. The position he put me in allowed his tongue to go deeper into me. The sensation of his tongue working inside me was heavenly. My hips bucked over and over on his face. But when he added the hum, that’s when I went to the next level and shattered in pieces, all while he held me tightly against his mouth.
My head was so in the clouds, I didn’t even notice when Logan got on top of me, and started kissing me with all his might. The taste of me on his tongue and lips made me hotter than I ever thought imaginable. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled him deeper into my mouth.
Logan broke the kiss and whispered, “Ride me.”
He didn’t have to say it twice. We quickly changed positions, with me now straddling him. Raising his arms over his head, he grabbed the rails on the headboard like I had a few minutes ago. Placing my palm flat on his heaving chest, I slowly slid myself down on his dick. I shimmied my hips a little to make sure I was good and planted before I began moving up and down. Logan watched me, my breasts bouncing above him. I could feel him growing and getting harder inside me, if that was even possible.
My movement picked up pace. The veins on Logan’s arms popped from his skin as he tightened his grip on the headboard.
“Fuck, Lip,” he moaned as he fought to keep his eyes focused on me.
He grabbed my hips and lifted me up and down. The room suddenly filled with the sound of our breathing, screaming, and moaning as we came together.
Placing my hands on the edge of the headboard, I looked down at a spent man. His eyes opened and met mine.
“You’re killing me,” he said, slipping his hand behind my neck and pulling me in for a kiss.
I slipped off Logan and snuggled into his side before glancing up at him. “We make a good team.”
“Good is an understatement.” He tightened his arm around me.
Neither of us seemed to be in any hurry to get out of bed and get the day going. But unfortunately, the world continued to turn even after an incredible night and morning of sex.
We considered taking a shower together, but we knew that would only make us later than we already were.
Finally, we slid out of bed and Logan got dressed as I slipped into my robe. His arm was glued around my waist as I walked him to the door.
“That was one hell of a fantastic first date, Mr. Heath,” I said looking up at him with my arms wrapped around him.
“Well, I aim to please. Can I see you tonight?”
“I’ll have to think about it.” I looked to the ceiling as if I were actually contemplating it. “I suppose. I don’t want to come off as too easy you know.”
“Slugger, there is no way on earth you will ever come off as too easy.”
And with that he gave me a long slow kiss before heading down the stairs and into his car.
I felt pretty amazing as I floated up the stairs and into my hot shower. After letting the hot water soothe my sore, well-used muscles, I took my time getting ready for work. There was always the possibility that the bakery wouldn’t open today, depending on whether or not I stayed an extra day at Seabrook for the counselors’ mini-retreat.
I dressed in a pair of bright pink capri pants with a plain white fitted T-shirt, and white Keds. I left my hair down, so it would be dry by the time I got to the shop. Before applying a little makeup I looked in the mirror and noticed I looked different. Happy? Content? Definitely satisfied. Letting my thoughts drift back to Logan, my cheeks pinked up almost immediately. After adding some gloss and grabbing my things, I was out the door and headed to work.
As I passed Charleston Harbor a new wave of excitement came over me, knowing that in a few hours Wavy would be home. I hoped she had a wonderful trip spending time with her closest friends and experiencing new places. Then it hit me: this trip would be the last one she would take.
It felt as if I’d been punched in the stomach as the guilt overwhelmed me. Here I was feeling exhilarated about starting a new relationship with Logan, when the relationship with the most important person in my life was headed toward the end. I had been so caught up in Logan, especially the last couple of days, that I hadn’t thought about what faced Wavy once she got home. My stomach churned and my chest tightened. I promised Wavy I wouldn’t waste time fearing the inevitable, but the sense of dread and heartache took over before I could stop them.
My throat closed as tears blurred my vision. Luckily, I was pulling into the parking lot behind the bakery. I parked the car and sat there staring out the window thinking what a selfish insensitive bitch I was. It had been so easy for me to get lost in Logan that everything else got shoved aside, including my business. Here it was noon on a Monday. I was six hours late to work because I didn’t want to leave my bed or Logan.
There was no way I could go about my life in a dreamy, lust-love state as my grandmother was coming to the end of hers. Wavy and her happiness had been my sole focus for years and that wasn’t going to change because of Logan. Within minutes, the last few days went from the promise of a wonderful future to a memory that I’d carry in my heart forever. Logan would have to remain a part of my past at least for now.
Knowing I had made the right decision, I got out of the car and headed inside the bakery. With each step the hollow loneliness invaded my senses. As I started gathering ingredients to bake, I looked at the clock on the wall. I only had a couple of hours before leaving to pick up Wavy and then saying goodbye to Logan. Since I didn’t have any orders to fill and no customers lining up for cupcakes, I decided to take a mental health day.
Opening up a container of leftover chocolate frosting, I stuck a spoon in it and scooped up as much as possible. Leaning against the counter, I tried to fill up the hole in my heart by eating my weight in buttercream.
EVEN THOUGH LOGA
N HAD meetings all day, he still found time to text me. When I didn’t answer his texts, he called. When he called a third time, I turned off my phone and got to cleaning. I needed to keep my hands busy and my mind occupied.
After reaching my sugar quota for the day in less than a half hour, I stayed busy by doing a deep cleaning of the bakery. Squatting in front of the oven, I mindlessly wiped out the foam cleaner. But no matter how much I scrubbed my hands still twitched to text Logan. And no matter how much chemical fumes I inhaled, I could not get high enough to forget my heartache.
The next conversation with Logan had to be me breaking up with him. If I read his texts or heard his voice, it would make it that much harder to say goodbye.
I finished up with the oven just in time to go pick up Wavy and the ladies from the ship. I locked the back door and turned around to find Logan, once again leaning against my car. Only this time, instead of shorts and a T-shirt, he wore a monochromatic gray suit. God, just the sight of him made me weak in the knees. Rather than butterflies taking off in my stomach, it churned with dread.
I wanted to tell him everything and ask him to wait for me while I took care of Wavy, but deep down I knew it was too much to ask. I mean, we had only met a little over a week ago. Sure, we had a connection and mind-blowing sex. Lots of people had that, but they didn’t go skipping off into the sunset hand-in-hand. A relationship needed time and attention, two things I didn’t have to give at the moment.
I swallowed hard before forcing my legs to move forward. As I got closer, I could see the disappointment in Logan’s eyes that I hadn’t gotten back to him all day.
“Miss Smacker,” he said deadpan, remaining at my car.
“Hey, what’s up college boy?”
“You tell me?”
I fidgeted with the strap on my bag. “Well, it was a pretty quiet day here.”
“Pretty quiet? So your phone never once rang or buzzed with a text?”
“Since there were hardly any customers I decided to work on some plans, so I turned off my phone.”
My lie made him push off from my car and walk toward me, landing only a foot away.
“What’s going on, Lip?”
“Nothing. I have to go pick up Wavy and her friends from the dock. The ship will be docking in about fifteen minutes.”
“The dock is only ten minutes away, so you have five minutes to explain why you’re avoiding me.”
“I told you, my phone was off.”
He moved quickly into my space, taking my face between his hands, and kissing me senseless. Everything fell away the second his lips touched mine. My nerves, my fear, my dread at having to tell him goodbye. I forced myself to step back, tearing away from his grasp and mouth.
“Logan, this week has been one of the best weeks of my life because of you. Even when we fought or when I thought you were a jerk it was great.”
“I agree. But?”
“But, I have obligations that take priority over anything or anyone else.”
“What obligations?”
“Just personal things that need my utmost attention. You are a distraction. A very sexy and sweet distraction. But a distraction nonetheless.”
“I like distracting you, Lip. I want to be with you and take care of you.”
“I can’t do us right now.”
“You’re breaking up with me?”
“You see. That right there.”
“What?”
“What you said about breaking up. We aren’t a couple,” I said unconvincingly.
“I don’t know your definition of a couple, Slugger but I have news for you. We are a couple.”
“No we’re not! We’re two people who fucked.”
“That’s really what you think of us?”
“It’s the truth,” I said, not making eye contact.
“I need more, Lip. You can’t just give me vague answers and walk away from me.”
“I’m sorry. I just can’t.” I glanced down at the time on my phone. “I have to go now or I’ll be late.”
I shoved past him and went to my car. When I got inside, I chanced a glance at Logan. He was still in the same spot I left him, his back to me. I wanted to jump out, fling myself into his arms, and ask him to wait for me. To not look, talk, or think about another girl. But I wouldn’t do that to him. He deserved someone who could give him everything. I wanted to be that girl. I was that girl. It was just…the timing was off.
As I drove toward the ship I couldn’t help my tears. I needed to get this all out of my system before Wavy saw me. I was surprised at the intensity of the feelings I had already developed for Logan. If I were being completely honest with myself, they scared me. We joked about knowing each other since high school, but in reality we had just met a week and one day ago. Things were moving too fast between us.
I had fallen quickly into an abusive relationship with John, trying to fill the void left by my parent’s death. In no way was Logan anything like my ex, but I didn’t want to use him to fill the hole in my heart. The way I felt about John paled in comparison to my feelings for Logan. I felt cherished every time he looked at me, which I had never experienced before with a man. But Wavy had to be my sole focus for as long as she needed me.
I pulled into the parking area at the dock and glanced at my phone. I still had a few more minutes before Wavy and the ladies would disembark the ship. I noticed there were no recent texts or calls from Logan. Which my brain said was good. He got the message and respected my wishes. My heart, on the other hand, broke with regret and disappointment. Looking in the rearview mirror, I wiped the tears away, and put on a happy face before getting out of the car and welcoming my grandmother home.
“ELIPHELETA, THE DOLPHINS WERE incredible. In all my years on this earth and living here right by the ocean, I had never seen one up close and personal,” Wavy said as we unpacked her suitcase.
“We’ll have to make it a point to go dolphin spotting around here then.”
“And we danced after dinner every night and some days after lunch. There was always music playing. Always food to eat. I think you would love going on a cruise.”
“Maybe someday,” I said, putting her suitcase back in her closet.
Scooping up Wavy’s laundry from the trip, I headed toward her bedroom door.
“Elipheleta, come sit with me for a minute.” She patted the space next to her on the bed.
“Just let me go start a load of laundry and I’ll be right back.”
“The laundry can wait.”
I stood in the doorway of her room for several seconds. This whole time, from welcoming her at the port to dropping her friends off at their homes to the drive back to the house, I had managed to keep a stiff upper lip. Once we got home Wavy was so excited to talk about her trip while I stayed busy unpacking, it was easy for me to hide my solemn expression and my feelings. But I knew that tone in her voice. She already sensed something was up. I should never, ever underestimate the powers of my grandmother.
I walked over to the bed and sat next to her, still holding the pile of clothes.
“How’s college boy?” For some reason her asking about Logan caught me off guard.
“I guess he’s pretty good.”
Wavy swept my curls over my shoulder. “Talk to me, Elipheleta.”
“I had a nice time over the weekend. I missed you terribly, of course. But the wedding reception went well and you know how much I love the weekend at the Bridge camp. Ricky was there. He’s come quite a long way since the first time I met him. He was so cute—”
“I’m sure he was, but I want to know what’s going on between you and college boy.”
I huffed. “Nothing is going on. Why would you even think something was going on? I mean, geez, Wavy, you were only gone a few days. What could possibly happen in just a few days? Technically, I guess a lot of things could happen. I mean, obviously, lots of things happen around the world in just a few days. But a few days is not very long when you’re talking about
people which you were, not me.”
“That was quite a mouthful.”
“Well, you asked the question.”
“That never really got answered,” she said.
Tightening my arms around the pile of clothes, I stood. “I don’t know what you mean. I feel I gave you a very concise answer. Maybe the sea air affected your hearing a bit. I need to go and get these clothes done.”
I made it to the laundry room just before the tears fell. God, I was acting like an idiot. I had just met Logan, spent a little time with him, plus there was the amazing sex. People have those things all the time then go on their ways, never to cross paths again. How I was feeling and acting, you would have thought Logan and I had a serious long-term relationship. Deep in my heart I knew he was my person, but right now he couldn’t be.
Wavy didn’t press me for any more information for the rest of the night. We had dinner at the table in the kitchen as usual. I folded and put away her clothes, and she went to bed while I made the trip back over to my townhouse. When I walked into my bedroom and saw the rumpled bed sheets, visions of what Logan and I had done just a few hours ago flooded my head. Remembering the feel of his lips on my skin, his hands traveling over my body and him inside me caused my body to shiver and my chest ache.
I inhaled a deep breath, blowing it out through my mouth before stripping the sheets off the bed and tossing them in the hamper. I was exhausted from the emotional day. It was hard to believe that this morning I had woken up happier than I had ever been. I was safe and secure in the bubble Logan and I had created over the weekend. Then the sharp reality of life poked a hole in the bubble and exploded right in my face.
After making the bed, I got into my pajamas and tried to watch TV. Then I tried to get lost in a book. Then I looked in my freezer for ice cream and cursed myself for not having any.
Then I decided to bake, since that was always good therapy for me. Unfortunately, by the time I shoved the pan into the oven I didn’t feel any better, and I may have eaten a spoon or five of butter and brown sugar. Then I did the stupidest thing a woman could ever do in regards to a man: I reread every text he sent me.
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