I nodded to him. “Good luck.”
We parted ways and I headed back to my house to change and check in on Carter and Jellybean. As soon as I killed the engine, Jellybean was out of the house, bounding towards my truck.
I carefully opened the door and scooped her into my arms, lifting her high and blowing raspberries onto her belly. “What are you doing out here, Jellybean?!”
“CanCan!” She giggled wildly and slapped my ears with sticky hands. “Mommy said you’ve got a boyfriend!”
I carted her inside and smiled at her shiny little face. “Oh, she did, did she?”
“Do you think Mommy will get a boyfriend, too?”
Carter choked on a drink of water and shook her head. “Not a conversation I’m having.”
“But you were so willing to discuss it when the focus was on me.” I grinned at her and ruffled her hair when I walked past. Dropping Jellybean on the couch, I planted a kiss on the top of her head. “I’m going out with some of the guys on the crew tonight. Do you need me to do anything before I go?”
“Tell me all about your night,” she grinned, “How was the first night with your mate?”
I shook my head. “I’m trying not to think about it right now. I’ll tell you later, okay?”
Her face fell. “Oh, no, really?” She sighed. “Damn, if there’s no hope for a great guy like you, Cannon, then I’m a lost cause.”
I turned to face her and frowned. “You’re not a lost cause. Tell you what, I’ll cancel with the guys tonight. We can hang out and catch up on our shows.”
“No freakin’ way! Get outta here. This is where you’ll be hanging your hat, Cannon. You need to make friends and a home for yourself. Don’t worry about me, I’ll still be moping and pouty when you get home.”
“I don’t mind, Carter.”
She waved me off. “I mind. It would just make me feel more pathetic. Seriously, go out and have fun. Enough for the both of us.”
11
Cannon
Even apart, I could feel myself connecting to Matt through the bond. It figured that we’d run into each other. Hell, the town was only the size of a postage stamp, but it was going to be torture seeing him from afar after yearning for him all day. My bear wanted to see him, though. Insisted. Even if we couldn’t touch. My bear was a masochist. I’d have to play Matt’s game of pretend while fighting every urge in me that screamed with the need to grab him and fuck him.
I walked into The Cave and zoned in on him instantly. He sat at the bar whispering with Presley. His back stiffened as soon as the door shut behind me. He knew I was there.
I paused for a second watching them. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t ignore him. I walked over, sending a nod to Sam as I went, and leaned against the bar next to Matt. I nodded to the pretty bartender behind the counter and motioned to the beer in Matt’s hand. “One of those and a bottle of whiskey.”
Presley looked over at me and grinned. “Well, look at you. Celebrating something?”
Matt shifted on his stool and kept his eyes on his beer.
I leaned in closer to him, under the pretense of whispering to Presley. I put my hand on his shoulder and felt him stiffen. “Absolutely. New job. New friends. I have a lot to celebrate.”
She looked from Matt to me and grinned. “Anything else?”
The bartender slipped my beer and whiskey over to me with her number. I slid it back across the bar to her and winked. “If I was into women, honey, I’d be entering your number into my phone right now.”
Matt’s bottle shattered in his hands. Presley nearly jumped off her stool. He cursed and shook his head. “Sorry, Presley. Shit.”
The bartender ignored Matt and looked me up and down. “Dang, all the good ones are gay or taken. Are you one hundred percent sure? Cause if you have any doubt, and want a test run to make sure, I’d be willing.”
Sam appeared at my side and laughed. “Janet, leave poor Cannon alone.”
Seeing that it was driving Matt crazy, I just grinned and went along with the flirting. “If I ever have any doubts, I know where to find you.”
She leaned over the bar and caught the back of my neck in a fierce grip before pulling me forward so she could lay a kiss on my cheek. “If you have a straight brother, send him my way.”
I laughed and turned to Sam. “The women in this town are friendly.”
He looked past me at Matt cleaning up his mess. “The men usually are, too. Come on. Bring that big, beautiful bottle of whiskey with you. I want to introduce you to my buddies. Matt, you’re welcome to join us.”
Presley shot her mate a conspiratorial look and smiled. “You’re lucky I have book club tonight or I’d be offended by that non-invite.”
Sam grabbed her and planted a heated kiss on her mouth while Matt pushed off of his stool.
He didn’t even look at me as he shook his head. “I’ve got a dog to check on. Thanks, though.”
I stared after him as he strode from the bar, his long, strong legs heading towards the door. Longing and sorrow warred in me and I lost the battle of standing still. I slapped Sam on the back and cleared my throat. “I forgot something in my truck. I’ll be right back.”
Without waiting around, I made a bee line across the bar and then across the parking lot to where Matt was closing in on his truck. I looked around and didn’t see anyone in the lot, so I didn’t stop myself from doing what I wanted to do. I grabbed his arm and spun him around. Taking him into my arms, I pressed my mouth against his and kissed him like I’d been away and hadn’t seen him in a year.
Every ounce of desire I felt poured into my lips as I cupped his face and deepened the kiss. Slipping my tongue into his mouth, I tasted beer and mint and something that was entirely Matt. His scent—sunshine, grass, summer, and a cool lake, filled my senses, along with the smell of wet dog, but I didn’t mind that.
Matt’s hands were at my waist, his fingers biting into my skin, as his tongue battled mine for dominance. As afraid as he was of being caught, he hadn’t yet backed away from my kiss. It spurred me on, heightening my desire even more, because my mate was responding. He was resistant for some reason, sure, but he didn’t back down from me. He gave as good as he got, losing himself in his passion in a way that threatened to turn me to flames on the spot.
I nipped his lip and pressed my forehead to his. Gathering up every ounce of control, I forced myself to step back. I offered a shaky smile, “Have a good night.”
I turned to walk away, but he caught my arm and jerked me back against his chest. Dragging up the sleeve of my t-shirt, stretching it out all to hell and back, he wiped roughly at my cheek where the bartender had kissed me, his stare dark as he did.
Without a word, he gently pressed his lips there and lingered long enough for me to turn and brush mine against his.
Fighting the urge to run off with him again only to be banished in the morning, I turned and headed back inside. I had to stop before reentering The Cave to adjust myself so the erection I was sporting didn’t show, but I still managed to somehow get inside without giving in to the pulsing urge to run back to my mate. It was a battle I wasn’t very proud of winning.
The rest of the night went as drinking nights usually go. I got to know Sam’s buddies and they got to know me, under a heavy layer of inebriated stupidity that threw out all the restrictions sobriety puts on us. They asked me plenty about being gay, plenty about who my mate was, and even more about why I was in the bar drinking with them, instead of with my mate if there were problems in paradise. I noticed Sam didn’t have any questions. He just sat back and watched as I danced around the whole truth.
By the end of the night, I felt like I’d known the guys for years. They regaled me with stories about their own mates. Allie had been running from a fiancé when she stumbled upon Burden. Wyatt had had a week in wilderness hell with Georgia. Sterling’s mate had hated him because he spent a night with Sam’s mate Presley, before he had met Ophelia and Presley had met Sam, of course.
The women were all off with Hutch’s mate, Veronica, who was conducting an after-hours naughty book club in the Burden Public Library.
Their stories of how they’d met their mates were entertaining, and sometimes hilarious, but it frustrated and angered me that I couldn’t share my own about how I’d met Matt. They had each ended up fixing things with their mates, but I didn’t have a clue how to fix things with Matt. I wasn’t even really sure what his problem was.
Still, the “guy’s night out” evening had been much needed and I guess we all got a little carried away. I ended up stumbling home, leaning heavily against Sam, while he leaned heavily against his friend, Thorn. Just as we were almost to my house, Sam looked over at me and smiled.
“You’ll be good for him.” He was slurring slightly.
I felt my stomach flutter and nodded. “I’ll be good to him, if he ever lets me.”
Thorn, obviously feeling left out, grunted. “Who’s him? Wait, you told Sam who your mate is?”
Sam chuckled. “He didn’t have to. It’s pretty obvious Cannon’s got it hot for my cousin.”
I choked on air while Thorn froze, letting Sam stumble to his knees. I waved my arms back and forth in front of me while trying to breathe again. “No. No, I never said that!”
“Matt’s gay?”
I growled. “I did. Not. Say. That. And so what if he is? Not that he is.”
Thorn just rolled his eyes. “Relax. I’m just surprised, is all. He went on a date with Veronica a while back.”
Hot, scalding, jealousy-fueled anger pulsed through me and I growled louder. It was underwhelmed by me tripping over my own boots and falling face-first in a drunken heap next to Sam.
Sam just kept grinning. “See? He’s so jealous right now, he can’t walk straight. They’re mates.”
“I’ll be damned.”
I dropped back onto the dirt ground and groaned. “Don’t you two say a damn word. Not a word.”
12
Matt
Two more days passed before I saw Cannon again. It made no sense. Burden was the size of a pinhead. Where the hell had he been? It wasn’t like I could outright ask about him. It was all over town that he was gay. Another thing that made no sense to me. I felt like it was a trap that someone had lain in an effort to get me out in the open. Out being the operative word there. Suddenly, Burden was the gay Mecca?
Every time I caught a whisper of a conversation about Cannon, it was about how much everyone loved him. He was great, kind, easy on the eyes. Anyone who ended up with him was so lucky. It was like the gay thing didn’t exist. Again, it made no sense.
For some stupid reason, I almost felt a sense of betrayal from the friends and family around me who seemed to fawn over him. They opened their arms for a gay man, yet I suspected that I wouldn’t be received with that same warmth. Cannon was simply an anomaly to them, the gay shifter who came to Burden. I doubted they were looking past his sexuality. It intrigued them, or would until the novelty wore off. I was a local. They wouldn’t react the same way to me. I knew from experience. My own father had turned his back on me.
I was being a little nuts about it. My family wasn’t betraying me. Sam wasn’t betraying me. Every time I saw him, though, he made a point of discussing how great Cannon was at the new job and how much everyone liked him, blah, blah, blah. It was like Sam was puking fucking pride month whenever he opened his mouth.
Even though I’d been trying to stay busy, and I was, I couldn’t help but obsess over Cannon. I hadn’t seen him since our kiss in the parking lot and it’d been driving me crazy. Not crazy, obviously I was past crazy if I was making out with him in the middle of a parking lot. After two days of missing him, though, I couldn’t even pretend to be upset or embarrassed about it. I just wanted to do it again. It went against nature to be away from one’s mate for so long. I was fighting a losing battle.
So, when I finally spotted Cannon, coming into the library while I was picking up a few new books, I did the only thing a desperate man could do. I turned and pretended not to see him. Nerves flared to life and I was useless at reading, suddenly. My hands grew sweaty and trembled slightly and the book I was holding slipped from my fingers.
Before it hit the ground, a large, suntanned hand caught it and, like that, Cannon was in my personal space, his tempting smile wide as he looked me up and down.
“His Submission. Good book. Have you read His Taking, yet?” His voice was low, barely above a growl, and he touched my waist like he had every right. I guess he did.
I swallowed, my body refusing to cooperate, unless I was going to throw myself at him. My bear was all up for that. “I haven’t.”
He looked at me through lowered lashes and bit his lip before whispering. “It’s about this shy guy being taken in a library. He’s nervous, obviously, about the taboo of sex in public, but the love interest doesn’t give him a chance to think about it. He just bends him over right there in the library behind a stack of books. He takes him rough and thorough, until the guy can’t think straight, let alone worry about Victorian morality. Can you imagine?”
I’d gone hard at his first sentence. By the end of his synopsis, I was damn near drooling. I turned to face Cannon head on and found him walking away.
Confusion gave way to anger as I realized he was playing me. I forgot about checking out a new book and chased after him, as nonchalantly as I could. I watched as he disappeared down the small alleyway beside the library and followed.
Rounding the back of the building, I tensed as a big arm shot out and grabbed me. Cannon pulled me into his body and spun me around, so I was against the dirty brick wall. His hands immediately went to my belt.
I raised my arms to stop him, but by then his hand was in my pants, wrapping around my dick, and all I could do was grasp his shoulders. “What are you doing?” I hissed.
Cannon raised an eyebrow and grinned as his hand stroked me. “You have to ask? Am I not doing it right?”
I shook my head and sighed. “No, you’re perfect.”
Instantly, Cannon’s hand stopped moving and pulled free of my pants. He shrugged. “Apparently not. My mate doesn’t seem to want me.”
I was stunned speechless. Annoyance rose up in me, but it was quickly followed by anger, not at him. I was angry at the hurt my mate was feeling. I wanted him. He knew I wanted him. Why the fuck was fate playing this cruel game with us? “Cannon…”
He shook his head and backed away. “That’s what I thought. See you around, Matt.”
I caught his arm and pulled him back to me, running on adrenaline and fury. “Come by my house tonight. I want you.”
The way his eyes lit up filled my heart with contentment. “A date?”
And just like that, it faded. I looked away and when I looked back at him, the frustration in his eyes was hard to see. “Um… we can call it that.”
He groaned and pulled away from me again. “Whatever you want, Matt. Whatever you want.”
What could I say to that? He was hurt and angry, and he had every right to be. I was angry too. This whole situation wasn’t fair to either one of us, but what was I supposed to do? Okay, I was being selfish, I should cut all ties to him and let him go. But I didn’t want to let him go. I couldn’t. He’d marked me. He had to deal with me. We had to deal with each other. Forever. The thought scared me, a lifetime of sneaking, hiding, guilt, but I wanted him more than I could reason right then.
“Just come. Please.”
He looked away from me and then nodded. “Fine. I’ll be there. Should I sneak in through the woods or will driving my truck up the driveway be okay?”
I winced. “It’s supposed to be a nice night for a walk.”
He threw up his hands and walked to the end of the alley, his back stiff. He stopped before stepping out of the shadows and turned back to me. He shook his head. “You’re lucky that you’re so fucking sexy.”
I deflated into the wall behind me, feeling like I’d just taken a turbulent ride on a roller
-coaster. I had to wonder how long Cannon would put up with what I was willing to give him. Would I be enough? Would he walk away if I could never give him more?
13
Cannon
My best laid plans rarely worked out the way I wanted them to, which was why I’d ended up at the scene of a nasty house fire instead of sneaking through the back woods to see Matt. Not that I wanted to be sneaking anywhere. I’d been going crazy missing him, though. My bear was ready to spontaneously take over my body and run all the way to Matt’s to find his mate. If I had to sneak like a fucking teenage boy, I guess I would.
Exhausted and nearly asleep on my feet, I was walking up to the front door of the place where Carter and I were staying when Matt’s truck pulled over to the edge of the road in front of the house. He looked out at me and frowned.
I watched as he leaned over and shoved the passenger door open. My heart skipped a beat and I turned around and headed towards him. My muscles ached with fatigue as I climbed in and sighed. “Hey.”
His hands were rough, but gentle, as they stroked my face. “What happened to you?”
I reached up and touched the knot on the top of my head. “I’m too tired to even talk about it right now.”
He held my hand and pulled away from the curb. “I just heard about the fire from Presley. I’m guessing you’re the firefighter who took a beam to the head.”
I closed my eyes and listened to the strain in his voice. He was worried about me. After the night I’d had, it felt good to know he cared. It hadn’t been an easy fire, and worse, there’d been a young boy trapped inside. We’d gotten him out, but not before he’d been badly burned. I could still hear the boy’s screams. My heart ached, my body ached, and all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep. I was more than aware enough to admit to myself that sleeping alone in my own bed didn’t seem very appealing at all. I needed Matt. I needed him too much for someone who could lose him at any time. Even as my claimed mate, he wasn’t a sure thing.
Bears of Burden Complete Series Box Set Page 53