He went very still. Then he came alive, drew her close, and kissed her back. Joy surged through her body at his enthusiastic response. Then slowly, heartbreakingly, he pulled away.
“Matt?”
“Lucy, I can’t.” His voice was hoarse. “I’m sorry. I just can’t.” Giving her shoulder a squeeze, he walked away as the song ended.
“Here.” Millie shoved a glass of champagne in her hand, understanding in her gaze. “Drink up.”
“Thanks, Millie.” She took a gulp and fizz exploded on her tongue as CJ launched into Kenny Chesney’s Setting the World on Fire. What had just happened?
One thing was for sure. Fond wasn’t the right word to describe Matt’s feelings for her. They had to talk about this. And soon.
Chapter Nine
Matt cursed himself for not seeing that kiss coming. Lucy was swept up in the moment and he was right there. Her instinctive response was predictable but he hadn’t anticipated it.
Now the taste of her was on his lips and the press of her body against his made him ache for something he’d never have. Grabbing a beer out of the snow, he twisted off the cap and chugged it.
Jake’s firm grip closed over his shoulder. “Saw that.”
“It was a stupid mistake.”
“She kissed you first.”
“I didn’t have to kiss her back.”
“Getting drunk won’t solve anything.”
“I won’t get drunk. I just need to put out the fire. Alcohol does that, you know.”
“That’s true, but you kissed her back and she knows it. You’ll have to deal with that. “
“All right, if you’re so smart, now what?” He fished another beer out of the snow.
“You need to level with her. She’s not fooled anymore. You said something to her. What was it?”
“Observant cuss, aren’t you?”
“What was it, hotshot?”
“I told her I couldn’t do this.”
“That’s a start. Now you need to find a time to explain that you’re from two different worlds and you don’t want to interfere with her goals, yada, yada, yada.”
“I have this awful suspicion that she wants me to interfere with her goals.”
“Because you have amazing hair?”
“Bite me, Lassiter.”
“Matt, Matt, this is so not like you. Where’s that even-tempered guy who’s such a pleasure to work with?”
He took a deep breath and glanced at Jake. “Sorry. I’m tied in knots about her. I’m trying to do the right thing, but damn, that’s tough.”
“Communication is the key, bro. Lay it out for her. Now that she knows you’re not immune, you need to explain why you’ve kept your hands off for so long. She deserves that much.”
“But think of it from her angle. She’s been slimed by the man she expected to marry. She had a crush on me at nineteen. I’m not bad-looking.”
“You’re passable.”
“What stops her from getting hooked into me? And ruining her life?”
“You do. You explain how you see it.”
“I’m afraid I’ll sound patronizing.”
“Then don’t sound patronizing.”
“I have an idea, Jake. You talk to her.”
“Oh, no, you don’t. I’m not playing the telephone game. You handle it. The sooner the better. And that’s enough of that. Nick threw more wood on the fire. CJ’s risking his fingers to play a Rascal Flatts tune. I’m gonna go dance with Millie.”
“Just don’t let her kiss you. And don’t kiss her, either. Once you do that, you’re toast.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Matt sipped his beer and watched the proceedings. Everybody was dancing in the snow, gyrating in sync with whoever happened to be the closest. Jake and Millie kind of stayed facing each other, but the others switched around, pausing every so often to sip their drink of choice.
Meanwhile he stood on the sidelines brooding and nursing his beer. That wasn’t a good look on him. He’d ditched that attitude after six months with Henri and Charley. No need to recreate it, now.
Setting his beer aside, he moved into the action, adding to the shifting kaleidoscope of dancers. Inevitably he came face-to-face with Lucy.
Her flushed cheeks brought out the blue in her eyes… and the confusion. “Howdy, Matt.”
“Hi, Lucy.”
She kept dancing. “You and me, we need to have a heart-to-heart.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He continued moving, too.
“Now’s not the time.”
He shook his head. “Nope.”
“I’ll be down to feed in the morning.”
“You will?”
“I asked Henri and she’s picking me up. I want to come visit the horses. Will you be there?”
“Yep. As it happens, I’m on morning duty this weekend.”
“We’ll talk then.” And she whirled away to dance with Nick.
Whoa, Nellie. Lucy at twenty-five wasn’t Lucy at nineteen. Any illusion that he was in charge of their interaction had just been shattered.
The dancing continued a little while longer, but when the fire died down, everyone voted to call it a night and save CJ from potential frostbite.
Matt tossed some snow on the embers and they sputtered out. Everyone gathered up bottles and lanterns as they filed back to the house.
A lantern in one hand and beer bottles in the other, Matt headed down the path.
Lucy fell into step beside him, holding the empty champagne bottle and a couple of glasses. She lowered her voice. “I wasn’t kidding about tomorrow morning. But Henri will be there, which complicates things. Anyone else?”
“Leo.”
“Then we might have to wait until we’re finished, since this needs to be a private conversation. I’ll think of some reason I have to stay after.”
His gut tightened. A similar discussion six years ago had been hell. “We’ll make it happen.”
“Good. See you then.”
* * *
The impending discussion with Lucy woke Matt an hour before he had to get up. As he lay in his bunk composing what he planned to say, Leo came in from his date. Matt gave him points for making it back in time.
Moving quietly, Leo took clean clothes from a drawer under his bed and headed into the community bathroom at the far end of the bunkhouse. His date must have gone well if he’d stayed this late.
Change was coming. Seth had been the first to leave. Leo might be next.
Matt was glad Seth had found someone special. And yet… the camaraderie of the bunkhouse had been a source of security, especially after Charley died. The Buckskin Brotherhood represented the kind of connection he’d longed for all his life. Selfishly, he didn’t want that disrupted.
Leo came back, silent in his sock feet, and sat on his bunk, which was directly across from Matt’s. He started putting on his boots.
“I’m up,” Matt said in a low voice, and swung his legs over the edge of the bunk.
“Tried not to wake anybody,” Leo murmured. “Figured I’d go down and get started a little early.”
“No worries. I wasn’t asleep. Good date?”
“Um, not exactly.”
“Then why are you so late?”
“It took me a while to figure out she was only interested in sex.”
“Oh.”
“I mean, sex is fine, but…”
“You want more. I get it. Me, too.” He paused. “By the way, Lucy’s arrived.”
“With her husband?”
“She cancelled the wedding. She’s here by herself.”
“Damn.”
His thoughts, exactly. He stood. “I’ll grab a quick shower and shave and head on down with you, if you want to wait.”
“I’ll wait. I want to hear what happened with Lucy.”
Ten minutes later, Matt crammed his Stetson on his head, turned up the collar of his shearling coat and walked to the barn with Leo. On the way he gave him a quick rundow
n on Lucy’s situation.
‘That sucks.”
“I know, but she’s working hard to get past it. She also plans to be here this morning to feed. Henri’s picking her up from her cabin.”
“I remember she used to love to feed, but that was in the summer. It’s not the same thing.”
“No, but compared to her wedding disaster, a little cold air shouldn’t bother her.”
“I suppose not.”
“She’s stronger than she was at nineteen.”
“She’s been body building?”
Matt smiled. “No. At least I don’t think so. I meant she’s stronger emotionally.”
“How can you tell?”
“I just… can tell.” He needed to get off that subject before he dug himself into a hole. Leo didn’t know the history, didn’t know he was the reason she’d stayed away, at least for the first couple of years.
“I guess that’s good, then. She’ll recover faster from what this jerk did to her.”
“Yep.” And he didn’t have to worry that their conversation this morning would affect her the way it had six years ago. She wouldn’t let her feelings for him keep her from her beloved ranch. That was some comfort.
Chapter Ten
“Thanks for picking me up.” Lucy hopped in Henri’s truck. “Tomorrow I can walk. I know the shortcut, now.”
“I’m more than happy to come over and get you.”
“But I’ll bet normally you walk from the house.”
“I do, but to be honest, an excuse to drive in a warm truck is lovely. Don’t think you need to walk over on my account.”
She laughed. “I see how it is. No wonder you agreed to this program so fast.”
“Charley said the brisk walk to the barn on a winter morning built character, so I’ve continued out of habit, but this doesn’t suck.”
“Okay, I’ll accept the ride down there, but I wouldn’t mind walking back to breakfast in the dining hall on my own. By then the sun will be up and a walk would be great.” And she could suggest to Matt that he could walk over with her. Nobody would hear their conversation except the birds and the trees.
“Did you have a good time last night?”
“Oh, yeah. It was great to see the guys again and meet Kate. We had so much fun, and I have a wonderful Valentine’s Day memory to paste over the icky one.”
“It’s a terrific bunch.”
“Sure is. They told me about the Buckskin Brotherhood.”
“They did?”
“They said the celebration fit in with their creed of what would Charley do?”
“Yes, it does.” Henri said it softly. Then she cleared her throat. “Listen, I don’t need my truck today if you want to drive into town and pick up some more clothes.”
“That’s so nice of you. I’ll know soon if I need to borrow it or not. Matt and I have appointments at Tres Beau at eleven, so he may be willing to—”
“Say what?”
“We both need haircuts, so—”
“You talked him into getting a cut at the beauty salon?”
“He balked at first, but he finally agreed to do it.”
“Oh, my Lord.” Henri chuckled. “Josette’s gonna love this.”
“Miss Josette? From the Babes on Buckskins?”
“Yep. She co-owns the salon with her friend Eva.”
“I wondered when I saw her name. That’s not a common one.”
“Especially in Apple Grove. Our exotic Parisian, complete with accent.”
“I should probably drop the Miss part with her, too.”
“I would. Who’s with her tomorrow, you or Matt?”
“I am.”
“Would you mind if I called and asked her to switch it around so she cuts and styles Matt’s hair? She’ll get a charge out of it.”
“Fine with me, but is this really such a big deal?”
“It’s epic. Unprecedented.”
“He did say none of the other guys go there.”
“It’s more like none of the guys would be caught dead there.”
“Well, they should try it. I’ve seen them come back from the barbershop with those severe clip jobs and it’s just not attractive.”
Henri snorted. “You’re right, but it’s how they want it. Charley was the same way. He hated taking the time, considered it a chore, so he’d tell John to get it as short as possible so he wouldn’t have to come back any time soon. The boys followed his example.”
“Even Leo? I don’t remember seeing him shorn like that.”
“Oh, especially Leo. You must not have been here when he went in for a cut. He makes a point of saying he doesn’t care about stuff like that. A bad haircut would prove the point.”
Lucy sighed. “They’d all look way better if they wouldn’t insist on having it so darned short. Are their schedules that tight?”
“Not really. They’ve turned it into a badge of macho honor. I’m sure things are different in L.A., and probably in Seattle, too.”
“Very different. I don’t know any guys at the agency who wear it that short. Or who go to a regular barber, for that matter.”
“Does anybody else know about this trip to Tres Beau?”
“I have no idea. Do you think he’ll try to keep it a secret?”
“Couldn’t very well do that.” Henri pulled up beside the barn and cut the engine. “The guys are gonna notice a salon haircut. It’ll stand out like a sore thumb.”
“Or like a shining beacon to show the way to a more attractive head of hair.”
“Um, yeah.” Henri grinned. “It’ll be interesting to see how this turns out.” She unbuckled her seatbelt and opened her door. “Let’s go feed some horses.”
“Can’t wait.” She climbed out of the truck and managed not to gasp as an arctic wind stole her breath.
Henri beat her to the double barn door and swung it open. “Get inside, California girl. Your lips are blue.”
She ducked into the warm barn, fragrant with the clean scent of fresh hay. “Where’d that doggone wind come from?”
“Canada.”
“It wasn’t blowing this morning when I walked out of the cabin.”
“It can come up fast.” Henri pulled the heavy door shut and latched it from the inside. “Want to rethink your walk to the dining hall?”
“Maybe. Let’s see what it’s like when we finish.”
“Good morning, ladies.” A smiling Matt came toward them wheeling an empty wheelbarrow.
“Hi, Matt.” She aimed for casual and in control, although one glance at him gave her heart palpitations. She unbuttoned her jacket and resisted the urge to fan herself with the lapels.
“Hey, there, Lucy!” Leo waved from the back of the barn. “Good to have you back!”
“Thanks, Leo!”
Henri glanced at Matt as she took off her jacket. “Did you get my text about grain for the mares?”
“Got it. Haven’t started on that yet. We’re still delivering hay.”
Lucy focused on keeping her breathing steady, but standing this close to him made that difficult. Broad shoulders, narrow hips, Stetson at a jaunty angle… yum. Last night, this good-looking cowboy had kissed her back. No matter how he tried to spin it, he was into her.
Had that been true six years ago? She’d ask him when they were alone. He wasn’t the type to lie.
“Lucy and I will handle the grain, then.”
He nodded. “All right.” He glanced at Lucy. “You didn’t bring your sketchpad?”
“Not this morning.” She had other items on her plate, like achieving some clarity on where they stood vis-à-vis that kiss. “Maybe later.”
“Then let’s get to it,” Henri said. “Jackets go in the tack room.”
“Good to know. Jackets weren’t a thing during the summer. See you, Matt.” She flashed him a smile and followed Henri into the tack room.
Henri hung her jacket on a hook on the wall next to Matt’s and Leo’s. “We can each take a bucket and make the r
ounds.”
“Sounds great.” She hung up her jacket. “Since it’s been six years, I’m almost afraid to ask, but is Lucky Ducky still here?”
“Yes, he certainly is.” Henri popped the lid off two large buckets of grain. “Still hale and hearty at twenty-five. Still carrying riders.”
“Oh, good.” She heaved a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad he’s here and okay.”
Henri gave her an indulgent smile. “He’s not scheduled to get grain, but would you like to take him a small handful before we start?”
“I would love to.” She scooped a little grain in her cupped hand. “Is he in the same stall?”
“Yep.”
“I’ll make it quick.”
“Take however long you want. I’ll come with you. We’re not on a timeclock with the grain delivery.”
“Excellent.” She left the tack room and walked to the third stall on the left side of the barn aisle. “Hey, Lucky Ducky.” She opened the stall door and slipped inside. “Remember me?”
The big bay looked up from his hay rack and gave her a once-over, his warm gaze steady, almost as if he was trying to place her. His forelock partially covered the four-leaf clover white patch on his forehead.
“It’s me, Lucy. We went on so many adventures together. I’m sorry I haven’t been back to see you, but I’ve thought about you.”
Lucky Ducky nickered softly.
“Oh, my gosh, I think you do remember!” She held out her hand. “I brought you a treat.”
Turning from the hay rack, the gelding came toward her, his hooves crunching the straw beneath his feet. His velvet muzzle tickled her palm as he carefully nibbled the grain.
“You’re looking good.” She stroked his glossy neck. “I’ve missed you. I don’t know if you’re supposed to go out in winter weather, but—”
“He absolutely can.” Henri leaned against the stall door. “He’s not under any restrictions. He’s sound and sure-footed. When the sun’s out, it can be quite nice on the trail. I’m sure you’ll get a ride or two in while you’re here.”
“Yay. Did you hear that, Lucky? We can have some more adventures together.”
Sweet-Talking Cowboy (The Buckskin Brotherhood Book 1) Page 6