Chapter Twenty Eight
Prue wasn’t quite sure how she drove home, it was all a bit of a blur. Herself and Carol were silent for the majority of the drive home, both of them were reflecting on the day’s events. Prue was conscious that Carol hadn’t got much of a chance to speak to Robert, however she knew that Carol had done that on purpose to allow her some time to speak to her father.
‘How are you feeling?’ Carol asked as they drove over the rickety bridge, which signalled they were only twenty minutes away from the village.
‘If I’m honest I’m just feeling confused. I suppose I had this idea that I’d see my father and we’d instantly click. I was silly, I know but it doesn’t make it any easier.’ Prue felt tears prickle in her eyes as she voiced her thoughts out loud. She had to concentrate hard on the road in front of her, now was not the time to succumb to her emotions.
‘It was never going to be like it is in films Prue. I think you both did really well. You’ve met each other and got that awkward first meeting out of the way with. I’m proud of you Prue.’ The sincerity in Carol’s voice didn’t help Prue’s attempts to fight the tears. She was right though, the first meeting was out the way with, now they had to concentrate on building a relationship together. There was also the prospect of hearing all the memories that her father had to share. Prue’s love for the past was rearing its ugly head again and she couldn’t shake Elliot’s words. Perhaps it was time she tried living in the present a little more.
Prue dropped Carol off at her cottage and declined her invitation to have dinner with her. It had been such a long day that Prue just wanted to go home and relax. She also really wanted a large gin fizz. As Prue drove up the driveway to the manor she felt a familiar uneasiness, although she was sure Arnold would not subject her to anymore harassment she still worried every time she went home. She just had to hope that she hadn’t upset anyone else in the village.
Once inside Prue poured herself a large gin and went in search of her laptop where she had last left it in the library. She had got a little carried away the other morning when she discovered an online book auction. Needless to say the bookshop wouldn’t need restocking for approximately another five years. It was an investment in the bookshop’s future, at least that was what she was telling herself.
With her laptop in hand Prue decided to sit in the living room for a change, usually she avoided it as it felt so empty without her grandmother sat in her armchair. Prue had to stop living in the shadow of the manor’s memories and previous inhabitants, it was her home now. With a newfound confidence Prue walked into the living room and looked around, where should this new (and possibly improved) Prue sit? Despite her decision to live in the present Prue couldn’t bring herself to sit in her grandmother’s armchair and so she made her way over to one of the three sofas, each one was a plum colour. They had been Prue’s choice when her grandmother decided the room needed a facelift and had sought Prue’s help in ordering furniture online. The room boasted beautifully restored original floorboards, with cream walls and lots of handpicked artwork. Prue remembered traipsing around Brighton on one of her grandmother’s rare visits as they looked around all the antique shops for pictures. On the back wall hung Prue’s favourite painting, it was of a victorian child with ringlets, an angelic smile and a little teddy bear in her hand. It had pulled on Prue’s heartstrings as she thought about how the girl’s picture had just been discarded. A person that had been forgotten about. Prue couldn’t bear the thought and so to her grandmother’s despair she bought the painting.
Prue didn’t want to dwell on her memories of how the living room came to be decorated this way, after all she was suppose to be living in the present. The sofa wasn’t the most comfortable but it would do for now and so Prue took her seat and opened up her laptop. Once the machine had started up she went in search of some clothing websites. If she was going to stop living in the past then the first thing she needed to do was update her wardrobe. To say Prue had never ordered any clothes online would be a lie - there had been that one time she had to order a white vest top for a halloween party. After a shameful amount of time she finally stumbled across a couple of sites that looked promising.
Seeing her father today had made Prue realise just how harmful living in the past can be. He had never moved on from her mother and so his life was empty. Both his empty house and vacant eyes had made it clear that he had stopped living his life after losing Dorothy Clemonte. Robert was now living each day in his memories, reliving each one over and over to convince himself that he was happy. Prue had realised that she didn’t want to follow in his footsteps. She had a life to live and she wanted to live it. Her clothes would be the first step to her living in the moment.
Two hours later Prue had just finished her fourth gin fizz and was about to input her payment details for her new wardrobe. It had been rather stressful trying to decide what clothes to buy. In the space of a few minutes she had to decide what her new style was going to be. Eventually she opted to keep it simple with lots of jeans and plain t-shirts, at least she thought that was what she had settled on. Perhaps gin cocktails and online shopping were not the most sensible combination. After a few wrong attempts Prue finally entered her bank details and clicked on the next day delivery. She took a deep breath before she clicked the confirm button and paid the online retailer a small fortune.
Perhaps this was what a quarter life crisis looked like.
Chapter Twenty Nine
The following day Prue woke up with a pounding headache, perhaps she should have stopped after her fourth gin. Instead she had continued drinking until she fell into bed in the early hours of the morning. She had convinced herself that she deserved a few gins after having met her father for the first time. However, if she had been completely honest with herself the reason she kept topping up her glass was not because of her father, it was because of Elliot. She was still trying to numb the heartbreak. His words were still bouncing around her head and so Prue had used alcohol to silence them. It had worked to an extent, until she had decided to text him telling him that she hoped he went bald early. In hindsight it probably wasn’t the most mature way to handle the situation but it had made her giggle as she felt a sense of satisfaction as she hit the send button. In the harsh light of the day she realised just how childish that text had been and wishing someone went bald wasn’t exactly the best comeback imaginable.
Prue groaned and lifted her head from the pillow, there was no point wallowing all day, she had to get out of bed and face the day. It was the only day this week for her to get anything done, she would be at the bookshop after today. The novelty of running a bookshop was starting to wear off and Prue was yearning to find some valuation work, she missed the opportunity to look at an item and ponder over its history. Although perhaps running a bookshop was more suited to the present day Prue - the girl who had promised herself she would stop living in the past. With a sigh Prue dragged herself out of bed and went in search of some painkillers, there had to be something in this house that would stop the pounding in her head.
After a few minutes searching Prue found some paracetamol in one of the kitchen drawers and she quickly took them followed by a glass of water. As she was stood contemplating whether or not she could stomach any breakfast there was a knock at the front door. Thankfully a couple of days ago the broken door had been replaced and standing in its place was a contraption that made Fort Knox look easy to break into. The last thing Prue wanted was to see anyone but she couldn’t just leave whoever it was standing on the doorstep and so she tightened her dressing gown belt and went to see who it was.
With a sickening realisation Prue saw a delivery driver stood on the driveway surrounded by boxes. She had forgotten that she had spent a small fortune (actually, there was nothing small about it) on clothes last night. With some reluctance she opened the door and signed on the dotted line. The man offered to bring the packages inside for her but Prue declined, she just wanted this over with as quick
as possible. There was no way Prue could carry all these boxes upstairs, especially not in her hungover state, and so she dragged them all into the hallway and just stood and stared at them. She definitely needed a coffee before she could tackle this. A very strong, black coffee.
Once Prue had drunk half of her coffee she finally decided to face the chaos in her hallway and began to undo one of the boxes. If she was completely honest with herself the events of last night had become rather blurry and so she couldn’t quite remember what she had ordered. With a growing sense of excitement Prue pulled out the first garment. A crop top. What had she been thinking? As Prue pulled more items out she noticed a few that she liked the look of and so she put them to one side, the rest she could return. She would have donated some of the items to a charity shop but she couldn’t see the women of Ivy Hatch wearing a spangly diamanté handkerchief top.
Eventually Prue had salvaged enough items to create a capsule wardrobe for herself and the other items were back in their boxes ready to be returned. At least it gave Prue the excuse to get ready and get out the house. With a final glance at the mountain of clothes Prue went off to shower and get ready for the day, even if it was nearly lunch time.
Once she had showered Prue put a small amount of make-up on, just to hide her hungover look. Instead of her signature curls she straightened her hair and pulled on a pair of jeans, a plain white t-shirt and a lightweight grey blazer. As Prue looked in the mirror she could barely recognise herself and yet she liked her reflection. It was a Prue that she hadn’t see for many years and yet there was something about her appearance that made her happy. She was being herself today, no more hiding behind the past. It was a little scary but after everything Prue had been through over the last couple of months she knew she would be okay.
Somehow Prue got all of the boxes inside her old Mini and she made her way into the village to drop them off at the post office. She couldn’t wait to see everyone’s face as she unloaded eight boxes.
‘Can I help you?’ Prue turned round to see Maggie standing behind her, a big smile on her face with her arms out to take the box from her.
‘Thank you so much Maggie.’ Prue was really grateful for the help.
‘Why are you sending so many boxes?’ Maggie asked as she followed Prue into the Post Office with the last box.
‘A deadly combination of alcohol, a pity party and a spot of retail therapy.’ Maggie nodded in understanding, however Prue suspected she was not one who often indulged in much retail therapy.
‘Do you have time for a coffee?’ Other than getting some food shopping Prue had no other plans for the day and so she agreed to grab a coffee with Maggie.
The two women made their way to the cafe and Prue ordered them both a coffee and a couple of slices of cake. Her appetite was finally starting to come back after having only had coffee for breakfast.
‘You look different Prue.’ Maggie suddenly looked very serious as they sat across the table from one another. All morning people had been giving Prue odd looks. It had been a long time since they had last seen her dressed in jeans and with straight hair.
‘I realised I needed a change.’ Prue shrugged her shoulders and looked towards the counter where their coffees were being prepared. She thought it might not be a good idea to tell Maggie about her argument with Elliot and how that had influenced her sudden change in appearance.
‘Don’t change too much Prue, you’re perfect just the way you are.’
Prue sat in a stunned silence for a few minutes after Maggie had said that, she hadn’t been expecting such kindness, especially from an almost stranger.
‘I met my father yesterday.’ Prue hadn’t exactly been planning on telling Maggie, she’d been considering it and then all of a sudden her mouth blurted it out. Maggie was visibly surprised at Prue’s revelation, she took a bite of her cake as she decided how to respond.
‘Would you like to talk about it?’ Maggie’s face was full of sincere concern and as Prue thought about her question she realised that she was probably the only person in the village who would be genuinely happy to sit and listen to Prue.
‘It didn’t quite go how I expected if I’m honest. I thought we’d click as soon as we met and we’d exchange stories about our life and it would immediately feel like the missing piece in my life had been filled.’ Prue stirred her coffee as she tried not to let the tears fall from her eyes.
‘It wasn’t like that then?’ Maggie asked, the concern in her tone was obvious.
‘No. I mean, it wasn’t awful. It was just awkward.’
‘It was a long time ago so my memories are a little sparse but from what I do remember your father was like that even when he was with your mother. She found his awkwardness endearing. I remember one day she told me she liked him because he was her antithesis. She was the creative larger than life personality, meanwhile your father was shy and practical. They were chalk and cheese and yet they were perfect for each other.’ Prue felt a smile spread across her face as she thought about how happy her mother must have been.
‘I think that’s the problem Maggie, I don’t think we have anything in common. Actually, I do think we have one thing in common. We’re both stuck living in the past and finding happiness in our memories, rather than creating new ones. ’
‘Prue, you’ve only met him once. Don’t go jumping to conclusions. You’ve both been through a lot. It’ll take time for you to open up to each other. As for you living in the past, I don’t think you are Prue. I think perhaps you might have lost your way a little but you’re finding yourself, anyone can see that. Just keep going Prue, look how far you’ve already come.’
Prue blinked in an attempt to clear the tears that had formed in her eyes. Somehow Maggie always seemed to know what the right thing to say was.
‘Prue, I have to go, I’ve got a hair appointment in five minutes. Take care and you can always drop by for a chat. I know Arnold isn’t the friendliest but you’re always welcome at the farm.’
Prue gave Maggie a hug goodbye and then she sunk back down in her seat to finish her coffee and to go over their conversation in her head. Maggie was right, she had judged Robert already and she had only met him the once. She had surprised him on his doorstep and then she was offended when he was awkward. In her short time back in the village Prue already felt like a new person and not just because she was now dressing differently. She had learnt to be patient and to appreciate everyone. There would be time for her and her father to bond in the future but for now they just had to get to know each other and feel comfortable in each other’s company. Prue also needed to get to know herself again.
Chapter Thirty
Prue was almost grateful for Wednesday to roll around, at least she could ensconce herself in the bookshop and sit back as the day trundled past. She was both excited and nervous for Sunday and so she intended to savour every moment of the next few days before her emotions went into overload and the panic set in. Prue had spoken to Katie last night and her friend had told her to stop being so silly and to stop stressing over Robert’s visit at the weekend. What Katie didn’t realise was that Prue couldn’t stop stressing, there was an overwhelming amount of pressure around Robert’s next visit. Realistically, Prue knew that not all parents and children got along, however the bond between family members kept them connected. In her situation there was no bond, if they didn’t get along then there was nothing to cling on to, they could simply walk away from each other and continue with their lives. Prue couldn’t let that happen though, not after coming so close to having a father in her life.
With a frustrated sigh Prue shook her head free of all her thoughts. She couldn’t spend the next few days thinking like this, she would drive herself crazy. Instead she refocused her attention on her new capsule wardrobe - what did she want to wear for a day at work? Prue knew exactly what she wanted to wear; a navy tea dress that had been made from another of her mother’s old garments. That wasn’t looking towards the future though and so Prue op
ted for some white jeans and a cream cashmere jumper. She felt very out of her comfort zone but that was good, wasn’t it? The whole point of this change in appearance was to ultimately change her outlook on life.
The day was slow with a handful of people popping in to buy books. Prue was starting to recognise some regular customers and so noticed a few that came in, browsed the shelves and left empty handed. Perhaps she should start up a library of some sorts but with a small subscription fee. As lunchtime approached Prue noticed a lull in customers as everyone went in search of some food, she herself was beginning to feel rather peckish. There was very little in the fridge and so Prue decided to treat herself to a sandwich from the cafe, she justified it by telling herself that she was supporting local businesses. In reality she just really wanted one of their cheese and chutney doorstops.
As Prue ambled down the street towards the cafe she realised she was starting to feel more content with life. Slowly things were slotting into place. If she looked at where she was when she first moved to the village then it was clear she had made progress, she had also grown as a person. Now she just had to strive towards happiness. She had to concentrate on being herself and she hoped that building a relationship with her father would contribute towards that.
‘Prue?’ As someone called her name from behind Prue immediately felt her contentment ebb away as she recognised the voice. Reluctantly she turned around to come face-to-face with Elliot.
‘I thought it was you. You look… different.’ Prue wasn’t sure whether to be offended by Elliot’s remark or to just ignore it and so she chose the less stressful option and ignored it.
‘What do you want Elliot?’ Prue sighed, all she wanted was a yummy sandwich and to steal half an hour with a book before she opened the shop up again.
The Vintage Bookshop of Memories Page 14