“And how exactly would I pay it back? We need every penny I can earn for rent, bills and food.”
He blows out a breath. “I just need you on the field.”
“I know. I need to be there too, but something’s got to give.”
“This is bullshit.”
I fall back down beside him as the silence stretches out as we contemplate the lives we’ve been dealt, even though Jake’s is very much looking up these days.
“How long do you think it’ll be before you fuck her?”
“What?” I blanch. “I’m not going to fuck her. Kill her maybe,” I muse.
“Whatever. Getting a bit of action might help chill you out a little though.” I give him a side eye and he just shrugs. “You coming to Ethan’s party Friday night? Maybe you could pull and blow off some steam.”
“I’ll be working.”
“Come after. You know it’ll be an all nighter if Ethan has anything to do with it.”
The thought of going and having fun with our class and watching them all down drink after drink and act like they’ve got no cares in the world doesn’t thrill me with joy, but what’s my alternative? A night in the Lopezes’ guest room?
* * *
The next thing I know, it’s Friday night, my stuff is all packed into boxes in my room ready to be moved up the street, and I’m standing behind the checkout in Price Chop when I should be on the field with my team trying to kick Penshore’s asses.
Amalie keeps messaging me and I keep checking my cell to see the score even though it kills me to know what they’re achieving without me. Seeing that they’re winning is bittersweet. Of course I want them to win. I want them to walk all over the Chargers after they knocked us out last year, but I hate that they don’t need me. Being a Rosewood Bear gave me something to belong to when my life has felt like it’s spiraling out of control, and I don’t want to be disposable to them much like I am to some of the people in my life.
Yes, my mother relies on me, but it’s not me she needs, she just needs someone. Camila doesn’t need me. She moved on with her life pretty fast after I gave her the cold shoulder. My brothers need me, but that’s only because our parents are fuck-ups. What they really need is a decent Mom and Dad.
A couple of customers walk up to me and I’m forced out of my depressing thoughts so I can scan their items.
My cell vibrates in my pocket again with another update, and my fingers twitch to pull it out midway through checking, but the last thing I need is to be caught and fired.
I end up with a line, and by the time I get to pull my cell out again, it’s vibrated at least six times and the game’s long over. Shame my shift isn’t.
A smile curls at the corners of my lips when I look down at Amalie’s penultimate message telling me that we smashed it. My chest swells with pride for the team, who for all intents and purposes are my family, but sadness that I’m not a part of their elation right now sits heavy in my stomach.
Amalie: We’ll see you at Ethan’s, yeah?
I stare down at her message. I’m tempted, but I’m pretty sure it’s the prospect of drinking my body weight in alcohol that makes Ethan’s party seem appealing more than spending time with my classmates who’ll probably spend the night asking where I was tonight.
The rest of my shift drags on until eventually the clock hits midnight and at least I’m able to help Heather close up for the night and head home.
My eyes are heavy as I drive from the west side of town toward our street. The only house I’ve ever called home looks different as I pull up in the drive. We haven’t even moved out and yet it feels like it should belong to someone else already. The connection I’ve always felt to the place, to my dad, has already been broken. That feeling is only strengthened when I step into my sparse bedroom. The only thing that remains is my bed; everything else is gone. Mom told me that Clint and a few friends were coming today to clear the place, but I didn’t want to believe it. I wanted to believe that this was all one big joke and I’d come home to Mom laughing about it while telling me about her new job. Sadly, that’s not the case. After poking my head into my brothers’ room, I find that totally empty along with Mom’s, and I know they’ve already moved out.
I stand surrounded by nothing but old memories and realize I have two options: I stay here alone and miserable, or I find alcohol and a distraction or two. The second option wins out.
13
Camila
It takes all of about five seconds after the Bears hit the field to notice something—or someone—is missing.
“Where’s Mason?” I ask, turning toward Amalie who’s shouting and screaming along with the crowd. It a far cry from the girl I dragged along to the first few games of the series.
“He uh…” A conflicted look crosses her face. “He wasn’t able to play tonight.” I narrow my eyes at her but don’t press the issue. It’s obvious she knows more than she’s letting on but has promised Jake she’ll keep Mason’s secrets. I should respect that she’s being loyal, but mostly it just pisses me off.
Mason’s not one to miss a game. It took everything we all had to stop him playing with a broken collarbone back when we were friends. Nothing short of a disaster would keep him from the field.
I briefly wonder if his reaction to having to move in with us is enough to do it, but I can’t imagine he’s anything but thrilled that he gets to torment me under my own roof for the foreseeable future.
The game is incredible. Our Bears are all over their Chargers, and Jake is on fire as he leads our team to an outstanding win. Amalie screams beside me for her man until her throat must be hoarse. He’s in for a good night once she gets her hands on him, that’s for sure. Jealousy stirs within me knowing that neither of them are going to be able to keep their hands off each other whereas my boyfriend didn’t bother traveling for this away game. I know it’s out of town, but I was driving no matter what, he could have at least showed his face. He’s been irritating me more and more this week, and I hate that it’s Mason’s words that ring out in my head every time I even think about him.
We usually hang out quite often, but I feel like I’ve hardly seen Noah this week. I know I’ve had stuff going on and some of that’s on me, but still, I haven’t seen him long enough to even begin to explain about Mason moving in, and I need to because he needs to hear from me that his presence in my house isn’t going to affect us. Noah’s never been the kind of guy to get jealous. Our relationship’s been so steady and easy that neither of us has needed to. But equally, neither of us has had to live with our ex-best friends who could quite easily have been more, either. If he finds out from someone else and assumes that I’ve been lying to him then it’s really not going to look good.
When I asked him if he was going to Ethan’s after we all get back later, he just mumbled a maybe. Not exactly the kind of response I was looking for.
“Come on, we need to meet the guys.”
“You mean you need to shove your tongue down Jake’s throat the second he appears.”
“Yeah, that.” She doesn’t even attempt to apologize, instead just grabs my hand and drags me from the stands. Penshore clearly has more money than Rosewood does. Its football stadium is seriously impressive and huge in comparison to ours, and while it would take us barely five minutes to find where the guys will exit at home, here it’s almost fifteen.
Much to Amalie’s delight, we’re just in time and the guys come barreling out all fresh from their showers with wide smiles on their faces as they laugh and joke with each other, celebrating their win.
Jake takes one look at his girl heading his way and takes off running until he scoops her up in his arms and spins her around while she squeals.
I smile as I watch them, but it doesn’t get rid of the heavy feeling in my stomach.
Because Jake is a law unto himself, he manages to get both himself and Ethan excused from traveling home in the school bus with the rest of the team. I soon discover why, because I haven’t pulle
d out of Penshore’s parking lot before he’s got Amalie pinned to the backseat.
“Really?” I bark.
“What? I’m celebrating our win. You watched, it was fucking epic. I deserve this.”
“I’m not denying that, but maybe you do deserve it in private later.”
Jake flips me off over his shoulder and I blow out a long, frustrated breath.
“You jealous? I’m sure we could solve that, baby.” Ethan’s hand stretches between the console between us as if he’s going for my thigh. I slap it away like it’s a wild animal.
“Ow,” he complains, rubbing the back of his hand. “You only had to say no.” He sulks while the lip smacking behind continues.
“No,” I state. “Not in a million years.” I glance over at him, ensuring disgust fills my eyes.
“So where’s your lovely boyfriend tonight? Too busy to escort you to the game?”
“Busy with friends.”
“Well at least we know he wasn’t with a certain cheerleader, seeing as she was shaking her pom poms for a crowd with us.”
A loud slap rings out around the car before Ethan complains once again.
“Shut the fuck up, man,” Jake says between his heavy breathing.
“What? I was just saying what we were all thinking.”
My stomach turns over to the point I think I might puke in my lap. Is that what everyone thinks of me? Am I that girl who just turns a blind eye to my boyfriend’s actions because I’m stupid and trust him?
“He’s just being a dick, Cam. Ignore him.” Amalie’s hand lands on my shoulder in support. Although from the things she’s said about the situation, I suspect she’s on Ethan’s side.
“You all think I’m stupid, don’t you?”
“Only you know the real situation and the real Noah,” Amalie soothes. “If you say he’s trustworthy, then we support you, one-hundred percent. Right, guys?”
“Right,” Jake agrees. Not that he has much choice. He’s more clever than to go against Amalie and end up with blue balls until the end of time.
“Sure. But if it all goes south, hit me up. I can make you feel so good about it all, baby.”
My lips curl in disgust. “You’re a dog.”
Conversation turns to tonight’s game and I mostly zone everyone out as I stew on my current situation. That on top of not knowing where Mason was tonight is enough to have the beginnings of a headache throbbing at my temples. I want to ask about him, I’m desperate to, but I know how it’ll look to the guys, so as much as it pains me, I keep my lips sealed.
“Pizza. I need pizza,” Ethan suddenly chirps when we head toward a restaurant.
“Don’t you need to be back to let people into your house?”
“Nah, they all know what they’re doing. Come on, you guys must be hungry.”
Sounds of agreement ring out around the car, and I find myself pulling into the parking lot so we can feed the beast.
I try to allow their excitement over their win to filter into me, but the truth is that Ethan’s words about Noah are on repeat in my head. We know he wasn’t with her, but where was he tonight? Where’s he been all week?
I fucking hate questioning him. He told me he was meeting friends to do some homework. Never before would I have questioned him. He’s got a plan for next year and he needs the grades, I’ve always appreciated that, but now, after what Mason did and accused him of, I just don’t know anymore. Everything’s festering inside me and it’s making what I feel for my boyfriend turn sour, which is ridiculous because he’s not done anything wrong. Or has he?
“Mason would have fucking loved tonight. I hate that he’s not here.” Those few words from Ethan are enough to drag me back to the present.
“I know, but he’s got to do his thing. Hopefully he’ll be back,” Jake says sadly, but from the tightness of his features I’m not sure I believe him.
“What the fuck’s he got going on? Banging some hot chick we don’t know about who’s more important than us?”
My spine stiffens and Amalie doesn’t miss it. I shouldn’t give a shit. Just like Ethan, it’s no secret that Mason’s made his way around the cheer squad and half the female population at Rosewood. Hearing this isn’t unusual, but why do I suddenly care so much?
“Ha, nothing like that, man. Just family shit, you know how it is.”
If I wasn’t watching Ethan quite so closely for his response then I might miss the brief darkening of his eyes and the way his muscles tense for the slightest moment. He shakes himself out of whatever it is quickly before saying, “Yeah. I get that. Sucks though.”
“What family shit have you got to worry about? Your dad’s filled your bank account and leaves you a mansion of a house to party in most weekends?” Jake says it lightheartedly but Ethan pales nonetheless.
“It’s not all about money.”
“Don’t I know it.”
The atmosphere around our table suddenly takes a depressing turn. I glance at Amalie, who shrugs a shoulder at me.
“So... one step closer to the playoffs then. You think you guys can hit top spot in the division this year?”
It takes a few minutes, but eventually, with the subject back on football, the air lightens and their previous excitement wins out.
With my belly bloated with pizza and soda, we head back to the car, ready to hit Ethan’s house to party.
I’ll admit that I’ve never really thought about him and his home situation that much. He’s always living it up with his lavish parties and throwing money around, but hearing him talk about his parents’ absence, it suddenly makes me realize how lonely his life must be aside from the wild parties. It makes me wonder how much of the real Ethan we all actually see. He’s the joker, the one who gives zero fucks about everything; is he hiding his reality just as much as Jake was?
His mammoth house appears before us as the gravel of his driveway crunches under my tires. There are already people everywhere, and all the lights in the house are glowing from the windows. It looks like they’ve started without us.
I park my car, blocking in about five others when Ethan tells me just to stop in favor of jumping out.
“I can’t just leave—”
“It’s fine. None of these people will be leaving until morning,” Jake says, also getting out and dragging Amalie with him.
This might be my first time attending one of Ethan’s parties, but I’m not naive as to what they’re like. Stories fly around for days after one of his blow outs. I can’t say that I haven’t been curious about experiencing one for myself, but being in the wrong friendship group as well as staying as far away from Mason as possible meant that I’ve never stepped foot inside Ethan’s house before.
“You coming?” Amalie shouts back, making Jake pause halfway to the house.
Dragging my eyes away from the building that must be at least four times the size of my parents’ house, I pull the keys from the ignition and step out.
Kids loiter around the outside of the house, some just chatting to friends, others clearly already so drunk they can hardly stand up straight. How long has this party been going on for exactly? I wonder as we walk past everyone and follow behind Ethan, who throws the door open and holds his arms out in a ‘the king is home’ stance.
People look our way immediately, as if they can feel both his and Jake’s presence, and cheers erupt.
Even from behind, I watch as Ethan’s chest puffs out in pride while Jake pulls Amalie into his side and they duck off to the right. Not wanting to be part of the ‘Ethan show,’ I trail behind them until they come to a stop by a keg and Jake gets us all a drink.
“So this is an Ethan Savage party then?” I look around the room as the pounding music rattles my bones.
Scantily clad women fill the vast space, some hanging off guys, others dancing and drinking together. When I find Ethan again, he’s in the middle of a group of girls wearing only bikinis. They all rub themselves up against him and he eagerly kisses one. My eyes wide
n. I know he’s got a reputation, everyone at Rosewood knows that, but to see it with my own eyes is a bit of a shock. It seems I may have lived a somewhat sheltered life with my group of friends.
A red Solo cup is thrust in my hand, and in only a few minutes, I find it’s empty. Turning back to Jake and Amalie, I find them tongue tied again, so after getting myself two more cups of beer, I head off on my own to explore the place in the hope I find some other friends who aren’t going to spend the night sucking each other’s faces off.
As I make my way through the house, I find I recognize about fifty percent of the people here. Fuck knows where the others have come from. I can only assume they’re from the west side and living it up east style.
I don’t find any of my friends, and even after the rest of the team appears, it soon becomes clear that Shane’s also swerved this party.
The beer goes down a little too well, and by the time I find Amalie again in the kitchen she’s watching Jake and a couple of other members of the team lining up shots of tequila.
“Hey, beautiful. How’s it going?” Zayn, our wide receiver, slurs, wrapping his arm around my waist.
“Fine,” I reply, my spine stiffening as I try to remove his hands from my body.
His hold tightens and I find myself pressed up against his body. “I haven’t seen you here before.”
“No, but you’re in my math class and I’ve got a boyfriend.”
“That won’t stop him,” someone calls from behind me.
“Well, it matters to me.” I finally manage to escape his hold and move to the other side of Amalie.
Reaching out, I grab one of the shots in front of her before downing it and going for another. I hope like hell that the alcohol helps me find the fun in this party, because right now I can’t think of anything that could make this evening worse.
I just knock back the second shot when silence falls over the room.
“Mason, my man! We missed you tonight.”
PAINE: ROSEWOOD HIGH #2 Page 9