“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, baby. If I can do anything, just let me know.”
“Will do.” I’m not sure that extends to kicking the Paines out, so I take everything she offers and head up to my room.
I pass Mason’s brothers’ room and poke my head in to find them playing with their cars, so I leave them to it in favor of the one-on-one session that’s about to commence.
“Hey,” I say, dropping onto my bed when I find Amalie sitting in my desk chair working.
“Ah... here’s the little skiver.”
“Skiver?”
“Yeah, you skived class.” When I raise an eyebrow, she translates it for me. “Ugh, you skipped class. That better?”
“Much. And yeah, well... you would have too in my position.”
“Hey, no judgment here. I’ve done it a time or two if you remember. That was because of a guy as well.”
I groan, choosing to focus on the doughnuts as I ask my next question. “Does everyone know?”
“That Noah’s been shagging Tasha? Sadly, yeah. I’m so sorry, Cami.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not like I wasn’t warned it was happening.”
The bed dips as she joins me. “Don’t beat yourself up for wanting to trust him. It fucking stinks what he was getting up to, but at least you know the truth now, I guess. Is it true that you walked in on them?”
“Sadly.”
“How’d you know where to find him?”
“I got a message telling me to go to Shane’s house.”
“Who from?”
I shrug. “I don’t know for sure, but it was one of them.”
“One of them?” Amalie asks, but I’m fairly sure she knows the answer. She’s had enough run-ins with certain members of the squad.
“The cheerleaders. I had a message saying something like ‘girls like you never win’ or some crap. They’re just jealous. You’ve got Jake, my boyfriend screwed me over with one of theirs. They’re probably seeing it all as one big game.”
“I bet it’ll go down like a lead balloon then that Mason’s been on your side of this whole thing.”
“That’s not the half of it,” I mutter, not really expecting it to come out loud.
“Oh? Is there something I should know about?”
“They might have other reasons to be pissed at me.”
“Oh my god, oh my god,” she squeals, clapping her hands and bouncing on the bed. “Have you and Mason—”
“Not gone all the way.” I wince, dropping my head into my hands.
“But you’ve done... stuff?”
“There might have been stuff, but I really regret it and would rather not talk about it,” I say into my hands in a rush, hoping we can drop the subject.
Amalie’s fingers wrap around my wrist and she pulls my hands from my face.
“Firstly, stop hiding. Secondly... how was it?” Her eyebrows wiggle in delight and I want to die a thousand deaths as my mortification from last night when the lights came on consumes me once again.
“It was... a mammoth mistake. We had a power outage, I’m terrified of the dark, he claimed he only came in to make sure I was okay but one thing led to another and…”
“And…” Amalie’s eyes are wide as she waits to hear more.
“And I let him... do stuff. But it was a mistake,” I add in a rush, just in case she missed it the first twenty times I said it.
“Say that it was a mistake one more time and I’ll start to think you’re only trying to convince yourself. So he let himself in during a blackout and went to town on your body, just like that?”
“Kind of,” I admit with a wince.
“So this wasn’t the first time something happened?”
I shake my head. “There was a... moment, Saturday night when I came home after finding... them.”
“Mason seems like a really good guy to have around in times of trouble, I’ll give him that.” Her lips curl in an amused smirk and I swat her shoulder for turning this into a joke, but I can’t help but allow myself to laugh along with her.
“Well, distraction or not, it shouldn’t have happened, and his behavior this morning only served to prove that.”
“I heard he confronted Noah.”
“It was worse than that. He basically bragged about what happened, rubbed it right in his face.”
“And? The guy was shagging Tasha behind your back, why does it matter if Mason shares what you’ve been up to?”
She’s probably right. Why should I care after what he’s done to me? But I do. I also care because I don’t want to be branded with the same label of ‘slag’ as the rest of the girls that offer themselves up to the football team without second thought.
“I don’t need everyone thinking I bounced straight from one to the other. It really isn’t like that, even if it kinda looks that way.” I blow out a long breath, wondering how I ended up in this situation.
“I get, Cami. I do. But this is Mason we’re talking about. The guys who’s been in l—”
“Don’t. Don’t say it, don’t even think it.” I narrow my eyes at her but I know it’s too late. She’s had crazy ideas in her head about the two of us since the day she first met us. “It’s not happening. It doesn’t matter how good last night felt.” Amalie’s eyebrow rises in an ‘I fucking knew it was good’ gesture, but I press on. “He’s been nothing but an asshole to me for four years. I doubt that just because he’s gone down on me that’s going to change. He’s set on making my life hell. He’ll just use this against me too.”
Her eyebrow lifts, and it makes my stomach twist in frustration. Why does she always have to stand up for him? “Do you really believe that?”
I’ve got to, because I can’t allow myself to think about the alternative.
22
Mason
“Motherfucker,” I growl, planting my fist firmly in the mirror hanging in the boy’s bathroom. Glass shatters, ripping my knuckles to shreds, but I don’t give a fuck. I don’t feel it. All I can feel is the clenching of my heart and my burning lungs as I fight to drag in the air I need.
“That frigid bitch won’t let anyone touch her. I’ve been dating her for years, I should fucking know.”
His words from only a few minutes ago repeat in my head. What he’s implying would mean… No. No, she can’t be. She wouldn’t have allowed me into her room last night to do what I did. She wouldn’t have allowed me to slide my hand beneath her panties the night before if she’s a virgin. Would she?
“You never would have let him touch you. You hate him.”
My chest constricts as I hear those words over and over. They’re not news to me. In fact, I’ve heard them before, directly from her own lips, but having someone else tell me how she feels about me… fuck. I rub at my chest, hoping to ease the ache, but it does little for the organ that’s fighting to keep going beneath my ribs.
She should hate me. It’s what I was trying to do when I set out on my ‘ruin Camila’s life’ mission. I wanted her to suffer like me. But hearing it, and from him…
I crash back against the wall and slide down to my ass. My head bangs back against the grimy wall behind me, but I don’t even feel it.
I’m too lost. Lost to her.
First period is almost over when I eventually emerge from the bathroom with my knuckles cleaned up as best as I can.
“Mase, what the fuck, man?” Jake calls down the hallway. Fuck only knows why he’s not in class where he should be.
“I’m good. I’m just...uh…”
His eyes scan my face. Fuck knows what he sees staring back at him, but the second they drop they find my busted up hand. “Who was on the other end of this?”
“No one. Well, not the time that caused this.”
“His eyes narrow. So who was it before that?”
“Noah.” I admit quietly.
“Again?”
“Can you just leave it?”
“Not likely. Especially when you’re bleedi
ng out on the floor. Wanna get a burger?”
“It’s barely ten.”
“And? You know Bill will cook us what the fuck ever we want the second we stroll in.”
I can’t really argue with that, so with a small nod in his direction we head out.
“Pull over here.”
“What are you—” I stop asking when the pharmacy comes into view.
“Just shut the fuck up, yeah?” Jake says with a laugh, jumping from my car and running toward the entrance.
In only a few minutes he reappears. “Hand,” he demands.
“This is very domesticated.”
“Yeah well, maybe Amalie’s rubbing off on me.” I raise an eyebrow. “Oh yeah, she’s definitely rubbing me that way.” I want to punch the smug motherfucker in the face with the hand he’s nursing. He must sense it because he holds tighter, making it sting. “Oh stop being a pussy. You punched a fucking mirror, I’m just making sure there’s no glass in it.”
“What happened to Jake Thorn, the guy who didn’t give a shit about anything or anyone?”
“He fell in love, man, and she cracked his heart wide open.”
“I think I like this new version of you better.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Just… keep the touchy feely shit to this though. I don’t want you turning into a hugger.”
“Fuck off am I hugging you. You need a shoulder to cry on, you call my girl. She’s good at that shit. Actually, on second thoughts, call your own.”
“I don’t—”
“Oh that’s right. You don’t need to call her, you live with her. Just smash her door in and take what you need.”
Staring out the windshield, I swallow as the memories from last night hit me. The feeling of her thighs pinning my head in place, the sound of her cries, her taste.
“Mason?” Jake asks, reading me correctly. I don’t need to turn to look at him to know he’s got a smile on his face right now.
He’s probably the only person who knows how I felt about her all those years ago. We were young, I didn’t really understand my feelings for her, but he did. He always has, and I hate how fucking perceptive he is. He’s given me so much shit for what I’ve done to her, but I know it’s only been his way to attempt to make me admit that I still have feelings for her.
I’ve shot him down every single time, but I’m not so sure if that’s because I was trying to convince him that he was wrong or myself. It’s becoming more and more obvious that I’ve never forgotten how I felt at only fourteen every time I so much as glanced Camila’s way, and I fear it’s only been getting worse, not better.
“What did you do?” He finishes whatever the fuck he’s doing with my hand and allows me to pull it back to the wheel. I slam my foot down on the accelerator and speed down the street in the direction of Aces.
He allows me the silence, but I know he’s only going to let me get away with it for so long.
Seeing as we should be at school, our booth at the back is empty and Bill’s eyes widen in shock when we walk in.
“Your Monday going that well?” he asks with a laugh, coming over to serve us himself.
“Something like that,” I mutter, then groan at Jake’s response.
“Mase has girl problems.”
“Ah, I see. Well, if you need any advice, I’ve had plenty of experience.”
We both smile at him before ordering. He turns to leave and I fall back against the bench with a sigh. My hand is fucking throbbing, I flex my fingers, wincing when it only gets worse.
I picture Noah’s panic as I pinned him up against the lockers this morning and I know without a doubt that I’d do it again. Even now knowing what I learned soon after.
“So…” Jake encourages once our sodas have been delivered and we’re left alone once again.
“I took something that didn’t belong to me.”
His brows pull together as he studies me.
“You’re gonna need to give me more than that.”
“Camila caught Noah fucking Tash at a party.”
“Shit.” Jake winces. “She okay?”
“What do you think?”
“So what’s this got to do with you punching a mirror?”
“I might have... distracted her. Twice.” A smug smile twitches at his lips and I look away, not wanting to witness him being so happy about the situation. “But it seems that the reason that Noah was banging someone else was because he wasn’t her…” I trail off, hoping he’ll put two and two together. The last thing I need to do right now is spill any more of her secrets.
He’s silent for a few seconds and I look back up at him. I see the second the penny drops. “No fucking way. They’ve been together for like…”
“Two years,” I helpfully add. “That doesn’t excuse his cheating though.”
“I’m not saying it does, I’m just shocked is all. They’ve always seemed so... close.”
“I know. I didn’t even think. I just barged in and…”
“And…” He wiggles his eyebrows, wanting to drag the dirty details from me.
“Distracted her.”
“So what? You took her V card. It was always meant to be yours anyway, even you can’t deny that.”
“It didn’t get that far. She kicked me out.”
“So what’s the fucking issue then?”
I’m silent as I consider his question. I pushed her further than she’s comfortable with without a second thought. I might have been horrible to her, but that shit’s not me. I don’t take without knowing my partner is with me one hundred percent.
“Ohhh… you’re pissed you didn’t get all the way.”
“What? No. I’m pissed because she didn’t want it and I did it anyway. What the fuck, man? I thought you were here to help.” I push from the bench and go to leave.
“Sit your ass back down, dickhead.”
Without instruction, my legs bend and my I hit the seat.
“I know Camila, and I can assure you that if she wasn’t into it, she’d have kicked you out long before you touched her.”
We’re both silent as Bill approaches with our food and places two huge plates of burgers and fries in front of us. We thank him and he leaves us to it. All the while, Jake’s words spin around in my head. He’s right, I know he is. Camila is headstrong. She hasn’t backed down to any of the shit I’ve given her, and she’s not likely to just roll over now. But it doesn’t change the fact that she’s clearly been denying Noah any action but quite happily allowed me what I thought she needed.
I poke my pile of fries as my head races.
“This is so fucked up,” I mutter. I don’t even really mean for Jake to hear it, but he does.
“Is it? As far as I can tell, you’re on the cusp of getting everything you’ve ever wanted. It just depends on what you do next and if you fuck it up.”
I look up at my best friend, my jaw dropped in surprise. When the fuck did he become so wise?
* * *
We don’t return to school. Instead we head to his trailer and hide out in his little makeshift gym. My muscles scream at me to stop after my workout this morning, but I welcome the pain. Anything in an attempt to keep my mind from Camila and what’s going through her head after what happened this morning.
Once we’ve both run out of energy, we collapse on Jake’s sofa. He lights up while I make do with a bottle of water from his lukewarm fridge.
“Amalie’s talking about buying a house for us to live in,” he blurts.
I splutter with the water I was attempting to swallow. “Shit, man. That’s like... serious.”
“You’re telling me.” He pulls himself so he’s sitting up straight.
“What’s the problem? You love her, right? Want to be with her always?”
“Yeah, I don’t even need to think about that. It’s just…”
“Just?”
“She’s got all this money just burning a hole in her bank account, and what do I have to offer?”
> “Besides your outstanding personality and sharp wit?”
“I’m serious. She’s, well... everything, and this is all I have.” He gestures to his old trailer.
“She doesn’t care, Jake. She wants you, not what or what doesn’t come with you. She loves you, what’s in there.” I nod down to his chest and he blows out a long breath.
“I know. It’s just so huge.”
“Agreed. But there are no rules. Trust her to know what’s right for her and trust yourself to make the right decision. If moving in together feels right, then do it. You’ve both experienced enough shit over the years to be able to make a serious decision about this. Just do what feels right.”
“You know, I could say the same thing to you.”
“We’re not talking about me.”
He shakes his head but thankfully keeps his mouth shut. We hang out at his place for the rest of the afternoon before Jake has to head back to school for practice.
“When are you coming back?”
I shrug, bending down to pull on my shoes. “Whenever Mom pulls her finger out of her ass and gets a real job.”
“Never, then?” he says sadly. “We need you if we stand any chance in our next few games.”
“I’m doing my best, man.”
“I know. It just fucking sucks.”
I drop Jake back at school before heading to work. I change in my car before pulling my cell out of my pocket. I’ve got a few messages, most from Ethan asking where the fuck I am, and a few are from the other guys on the team, but there’s nothing from Camila. Not that I really expected there to be.
Should I have left her to deal with the fallout of what I did this morning? No, probably not. But I couldn’t hang around and be forced to look at Noah after what he admitted. I equally couldn’t look at Camila, knowing the truth. Seeing the regret in her eyes would kill me. It’s most definitely something I can live without.
With a sigh, I climb from the car. This is my life now. I’d better man up and deal with it.
* * *
PAINE: ROSEWOOD HIGH #2 Page 16