It was so hard for her to know what was going on in that man’s mind. Most of the time he was more worried about the estate and making the right choices when it came to his family’s business than he was about anything else, so she didn’t get the chance to really talk to him about things. Of course, they would still spend time together when they got the chance, and he did do his best to make it appear to his mother and father that they were still courting each other, but even the time they would spend doing that they would discuss the estate more than they would discuss how they felt about each other.
It was as though they had skipped courting and spoke to each other as though they were married already and both cared for the sake of the estate, but neither one of them talked about the feelings they had behind it. Charity wanted to see him succeed, and she wanted to know that he was happy with the choices that he was making, and she did believe that he, too, wanted her to be happy with the choices she was making, and he wanted her to find the thing that she wanted to do in life as well.
But, neither one of them wanted to talk about how they felt about each other, how they were going to handle when she did leave, or even if they were going to keep in contact after she did. Charity liked to believe that they would still write letters to each other every so often, just to make sure that they were both still okay and happy with their lives. But, at the same time, she knew that it would be a foolish idea. Why would they bother to keep in contact with each other when they decided to go their separate ways to begin with?
She still thought about her life as though she was leaving in a matter of days or weeks, and he still spoke to her as though he was planning on the same thing. Neither one of them really spoke about any other options, or if there was even a chance that they would do anything different.
The sound of the horses outside brought her attention back to the moment, and Charity smiled to herself. The idea of staying as almost like a fantasy to her in a way. She thought about it as though it was something that she would want to do—but something that she knew would never happen. It was more of a dream, or some sort of dream of a dream that she imagined would fix all the trouble she was feeling inside, but not one that she would really consider doing.
She walked to the window and watched as the hired hands and Chase drove cattle past the door, heading them toward the large pasture in the back. She was tempted to think of what it would be like if this was her life all the time, but she stopped herself. She didn’t want to know what that would be like, and she didn’t want to imagine how happy she was going to be if it was.
The first thing she needed to do was figure out if she was going to be with Chase, or if he had any interest in being with her, and the way to do that, was to do something that would get his attention—something surprising, and she had an idea of what that was going to be.
Chapter 18
“What about sticking to breeding our own horses this year? You know you have some good bloodlines out there already, and the mares could likely throw some good foals without you having to bring in fresh stock,” Mrs. Cunningham said to her son at the breakfast table. Chase was angrily holding a letter in his hand and stabbing at the breakfast with his fork. He had once again received a letter first thing in the morning—something which he hated and had told the Jackson family more than once he didn’t want to happen again.
Charity was sitting at the table, but she wasn’t giving her opinion on the matter. She thought that he should only consider breeding his own horses but the letter he had received from the Jacksons stated that he was to use several of their horses in breeding as well. With limited stock and mixing the bloodlines, they would have more say with what he did with the offspring—they wouldn’t be his horses alone.
“I was planning on breeding several of the horses, but not theirs. Do you realize if they get this large of a cut of the sale money that they are going to take most of our earnings, along with what we are supposed to be paying them for the horses in the first place? I really feel like this is part of their plan, and it’s really making me angry.” Chase crumpled the letter and dropped it on the table, and Mrs. Cunningham nodded.
She said nothing, but reached forward and took the letter, opening it and reading it for herself. She had a grim look on her face as she looked back over at her son, who was seething behind his plate.
“I told you this was going to happen, Mother. I told you this is why we shouldn’t have gotten into a contract with them! I knew once they had our names on that paper that they were going to try to take over what you and Father have worked so hard to create! Annabelle has always wanted to get her hands on this estate, and if she isn’t going to do it one way, then she is going to do it another!” Chase rose from the seat and walked back and forth in the room, his hands clasped behind his back.
Charity watched as he paced, but she still didn’t say anything. Chase wanted to hear what she had to say about it, but he didn’t ask her opinion. He knew that there was tension between her and Annabelle, and he didn’t want to do anything that would add more tension to the household. With the way he was already feeling agitated that she was talking to those other men in the general store, he didn’t want to do anything that would make her feel more uncomfortable in the house.
“You can go talk to them,” Mrs. Cunningham said, and Chase looked at her with the shake of his head.
“What good is that going to do? You know the Jacksons—once they have something in their heads, that is what they are going to do no matter what,” he continued to shake his head, and Mrs. Cunningham gave him a worried look. She knew there was nothing she could say that would make her son feel better, but she was going to do her best.
“Let me go talk to your father about it, and we’ll see what he says to do. He seemed to think it best that we got the Jacksons involved in the first place, so why not hear what he has to say about it?” she smiled, and Chase nodded.
“I should go see what he has to say,” he said, but Scarlett shook her head.
“I don’t think that would be a good idea—not with the way you are feeling about this. You know your father has known Mr. Jackson for a very long time, and he is going to want to keep the peace with the family as much as possible—even with what happened with you and Annabelle. I think it’s best if I talk to him right now, then you can talk to him later after we hear what he says.” Mrs. Cunningham smiled and walked over to her son, giving him a light squeeze on the shoulders as she spoke. He looked down for a moment, then nodded, knowing that his mother was right.
“But please, tell me what he says as soon as you know. I don’t want to bother him any more than we have to, but I want to know what he has to say,” he smiled, and though Scarlett assured him that she would, Chase looked at her with a bit of a worried look in his eyes. “I just want to get this move over with, know that the two of you are settled in, and make sure you are okay with me taking over the estate.”
“We are so proud of you, Chase, and we both know you are going to make the right decision with what you do, I know this is hard for you, but just give it time, and everything is going to work out.” She gave her son a final squeeze, then walked out of the room. Chase sighed and sat down at the table, putting his foot up on one of the chairs.
“Why can’t you just tell them that you are going to use one of their horses, as well as one of your own?” Charity asked. Chase looked over at her, surprised she was going to say anything about the situation.
“That isn’t what they want evidently. You have to understand, Charity, these people only care about money—I know that you feel most wealthy people are that way, but the fact of the matter is that these people are the people you described. I am not that kind of person. I”—he let his voice hang in the air, shaking his head and trying to think of how to say what he wanted to say. Charity sat at her spot at the table, watching him.
He could see in her face that she wanted to say something, but, like him, it was hard for her to find the right words. The two of t
hem hadn’t said much to each other in the past few days, and he was finding it difficult to talk to her about the things that bothered him. He didn’t know if he wanted to confide in her, but it was difficult for him to do so when he didn’t know what she was thinking or how she was feeling about things.
“I just don’t think you should let them use you like that. You know they are taking advantage of you in every way that they can, and that’s not fair. This is your family’s house—your family’s estate. You are the one who deserves the money and the business that is coming from these animals—it was your father’s hard work, not theirs.” Charity was rambling, and it was clear she wasn’t sure quite what to say, but she wanted to make him feel better.
He smiled, though what she was saying really only made him feel worse about things. He didn’t want to lose what his father had worked so hard to build, and he certainly didn’t want to risk losing it to someone such as Annabelle and her father, but with the contract in place, there was little he could do to tell them he didn’t want to do as they were saying. He didn’t know where the contract ended and where he was able to tell them that he wasn’t going to do as they wished, especially when it came to what his father wanted.
To make matters worse, he knew that his father wasn’t doing as well as he had been, and he didn’t want to do anything that was going to cause more stress on his father than what was already there. It was hard enough for his father and mother to get together everything they needed to move to Europe, and it was only going to get harder with the Jacksons putting all these new stipulations on the contract that was already signed.
“I have to do what is best for this estate. At the end of the day, everything that I am doing is for the good of this estate. You know that, don’t you?” he asked suddenly, looking at her with wide eyes. Charity glanced around. Chase could see by the look in her eyes that he was making her very uncomfortable, and though he didn’t want to be, he was rather satisfied. There was something about knowing that he had the power to do that which made him feel better about the situation.
He hated to think of her being flattered by other men, and when he saw her talking to men like she was with that man at the general store, he wanted to take her far away from any of them until he had the chance to show her that he, too, was a gentleman. He was too proud to admit it, but he did care what she thought about him, and he wanted to make sure that she saw him as a good man before she left.
He had grown to accept that she wasn’t going to fall in love with him and she certainly wasn’t going to marry him, but he still wanted to have her respect before she left. Now, with the room to themselves, he knew that it was a good time to bring up the fact that his parents were going to be leaving soon, and he wanted to know what her plans were when they did.
“If you still want to go, I will be happy to pay for any train ticket. You could even go back to your parents if that is what you wanted. By now, I hope you will feel comfortable with accepting the money I gave them as a gift.” Chase looked at her with the same intensity, and it was clear she still didn’t know how to respond. When he brought up the fact that she was going to be leaving, her face fell, but Chase wasn’t going to let it go. It was her choice to leave, and he wasn’t going to just let her leave without knowing that she was going to be okay when she did.
“I can’t go back there. As far as they know, I am happily settled into my new life. I don’t want them to think that I was unhappy, or that I was unable to stay married,” she said with a smile. Chase looked at her with raised eyebrows.
“Are you happy here?” he asked. She looked at him with an uncomfortable look on her face, and Chase could see that she didn’t know how to answer him.
“I mean, of course I am happy here in a way, but I mean, how am I going to stay here when both agreed that we aren’t going to fall in love or get married?” Charity challenged. The way she said the words made Chase’s heart fall, and he realized that she didn’t feel the way he hoped. If she did love him, now would be a great time to let him know that she did—but, with her response, he could only imagine that she really was just putting up with him because of their agreement.
“But, you aren’t happy enough to stay here?” he asked with a disappointed smile. It was clear he was doing his best to keep the conversation light, but it was also evident that she didn’t know how to respond to what he was saying. She had a look on her face that told him she wanted to tell him how she felt, but there was also a look of fear on her face which told him that she didn’t want to say something that was going to only lead to pain for herself.
Both of them were full of pride, and neither one of them really wanted to open up and tell the other person who they really felt. Every time Chase would bring up this topic to Charity, she would appear to be very worried that she was going to say something that would bother him. At the same time, when she would say something that would lead him to believe that she did have feelings for him, he would hold back, not wanting to tell her that he felt he could have feelings for her as well.
“Mr. Cunningham? Your parents are asking to see you, is now a good time?” Olga asked as she stepped into the room. Chase rose quickly from this seat, clearing his throat and smiling down at Charity.
“I’m glad you are happy here,” he said with a stiff nod. Charity smiled in return, but he could see that she was far from satisfied with how the conversation had gone. He didn’t wait to see if she had anything else to add, quickly gathering the things that he needed and heading for the door. He didn’t need Olga to show him up to the room, but part of him wished that she wouldn’t stay in the dining room with Charity.
There were so many things that he wanted to ask the girl, but he couldn’t find the words to do it. What did she mean when she said she was happy? If she was so happy, then why wasn’t she going to stay? Perhaps she wasn’t really happy, and she was going to say that just to make sure that he was happy. It was so hard to know what was going on inside her head, and though he really wanted to find out, it was impossible for him to even get a glance without her letting him in. But, at the same time, it appeared to him that she didn’t want to open up to him, as though there was something she, too, was holding back.
He knew part of the problem, but not enough of it to really do anything about it. Yet once again, he was going to have to push aside all the feelings that he had for the girl to focus on what was best for the estate. He would talk to his parents and see what they had to say about it, and go with that. After all, until they were gone, it was still their final choice—no matter what he thought about the situation himself.
As hard as it was going to be, he would find out from his father what he should do next, and without another thought to what he himself wanted—or even what Charity thought he should do, he would do as his father said, and hope that it all turned out for the best. After all, his father had worked with the Jackson family for as long as Chase had been alive, so he knew his father would have good advice to give.
But then, with the illness that his father was suffering, he didn’t know if he was in his right mind to make a good decision for the estate. There were so many questions and so many thoughts running through his mind, he didn’t know where to even begin—or where to end for that matter. All he wanted was what was best for everyone. For the estate, for his parents—for himself—but most of all, for Charity.
He didn’t know why, but all he really wanted to do was see her happy, no matter what the cost would be. She was taking over all his thoughts, and it was getting harder for him to focus on the other things he had to tend to.
“Just see what your father has to say,” he muttered. “See what he has to say.”
Chapter 19
“I don’t care if she walked in the rain! I don’t want to talk to her! I told her already that I don’t want her to show up so close to breakfast, and she has done it once again!” Chase walked angrily out of the room, and Charity looked helplessly over to Mrs. Cunningham. Scarlett sighed and s
hook her head, then gave Olga a nod.
“Go ahead and let her in, I’ll take care of it,” she said with a tired smile. Scarlett smoothed the skirt down and around her legs, then she smiled as she looked up.
“I can handle it,” Charity said suddenly. Scarlett looked at her with surprise clearly etched across her face, then she glanced up at Olga.
“Are you sure? I know you feel a little nervous about making these decisions, but then, I’m sure that you are going to have to take on the responsibility sooner or later,” Scarlett smiled. Charity looked nervous, but she forced a smile as she rose from the table and followed Olga to the foyer.
Annabelle had a look of surprise as she saw Charity, then she looked around as though she was doing her best to see if Chase was in the other room as well. Not seeing him, she sighed as she turned back to Charity.
“I’m sorry, but I’m here to see Chase,” she said flippantly. Charity smiled, but put her hands behind her back with a cold smile.
“I’m sorry, but he told you that now isn’t a good time to come by. If now is the only time that you are able to be here, then you are going to have to speak with me,” she did her best to put on a warm smile, but she could see by the cold stare Annabelle gave her that she wasn’t happy with the situation.
“I didn’t know that you were able to handle this sort of thing. After all, the contract is with the Cunningham family, and as far as I know, you are not a Cunningham,” she said with a cold smile once more. Charity forced herself to remain calm. She didn’t want to say anything to make the situation worse, but at the same time, she wasn’t going to let this woman push her around.
Mail Order Bride: A Bride's Unexpected Love: A Western Romance Book Page 13