“I hope I’m not bothering you,” she said as she walked into the room, and he shook his head.
“You never bother me. I was just looking over which horses I am going to breed over the next few weeks, and hopefully see what I am going to come up with starting next spring,” he replied. She walked over and leaned on the table, placing her hands out to the side and doing her best to look at the papers he had strewn about in front of him.
“What are you looking at exactly?” she asked after a few moments of silence, and he smiled.
“Come here and I’ll show you,” he said. She smiled as she stepped closer to him, and they both looked over the papers at the end of the table. It was the closest they had ever stood near each other without formal reasons, and Chase caught the rich scent of her hair as she leaned over to see the different notes he had scrawled over the papers.
“All I see are names and sketches and more crossed out names,” she said as she looked up at him. He could see the confusion in her face, and knew that she really was trying to understand what it was he was doing, and Chase realized that he really wanted to help her understand—he didn’t at all wish to make her feel inferior because she didn’t know what he was doing.
He wanted to help her.
“Well, a good breeder is going to look at the future of what he wants, not at what he has right now. Do you remember when we were talking about purchasing horses to bring onto the estate, and I was telling you about how they need to be able to handle not only the weather, but that they need to have the stamina to keep up with the demands of this life?” He looked at her with raised eyebrows, and Charity nodded.
“It would be easier if I were able to find the horses that I am looking for, but an artist knows that if you can’t find what you want, you might just have to make it yourself, and that is what I plan to do. I know what I want in the horses on this property, and since I can’t seem to find them through others, I am going to breed them myself.” He put his hand on her shoulder, and he could see by the look on her face that she very much enjoyed it. There was still a look of confusion, however, and she pointed to the lists he had made.
“So what are you doing with these?” she asked, and he picked up one of the pieces of paper.
“If you look right here, you will see that I have listed each of the horses, and the traits that each of these horses possesses. You can see on this side that I listed all the things that I like about the horse, and on this side I listed all the things I don’t like. You see, when you are breeding the animals, you don’t know which you are going to get, and you want to make sure that you are willing to get the bad along with the good.” He smiled, but she shook her head.
“What do you mean the bad?” she asked, and he picked up another piece of paper. Chase was surprised with himself how patient he felt showing her the different traits he had with the horses. There was a time when he would feel like he was just wasting valuable time by showing her such things, but now, he wanted to. He wanted her to understand what he was doing—and he hoped that she would give him some of her input as he did so.
“If you look at Blue here, then you look at Anna here, they are both fast, strong horses. Anna has a good build to her frame, and so does Blue. Blue has a nice arch to his neck and a solid face, and so does Anna. You would think that these things together would make a good foal, wouldn’t you?” He looked at her, and she nodded.
“But I don’t want to breed them,” he said as he put the papers back down on the table. Charity looked at him with surprise in her eyes.
“Why not? What’s wrong with them—it sounds like a good mix to me,” she said, but he shook his head.
“Anna and Blue both have one thing in common, think about it—you know that they do,” he said. He could see in her eyes that she was really thinking about it, and he knew she really wanted to get the answer right.
“They’re both really skittish?” she asked at last. Chase’s eyes lit up and he snapped his fingers.
“Exactly. They share so many things in common, including being my two most skittish horses. Now, some argue that such things can be tamed out of a horse, but considering all that I have weighing on this, I don’t want to risk breeding into anyone what I am then going to have to tame out of them later.” Chase sighed before he continued.
“Can you imagine what that horse would be like if it isn’t something that you can tame out of them? It would be a beautiful sight to behold, but that would be all the animal would be. If you can’t do anything with the horse, then it really is useless to me.” They both looked over the papers in silence for a few moments, then Charity picked up two of the charts that he had made.
“What about these two? They are both fast, both sturdy, and both of them you have listed as able to handle the directions they are given well. Perhaps a foal from them is more along the lines of what you are looking for?” Charity looked over at him, and for a moment, Chase was interested in what she had to say. He didn’t know which horses she was looking at, but if those were the qualities, then perhaps it would be a good match.
He took the paper and scanned them, but as he read the name of one of the animals his smile faded. He shook his head and set them down, and Charity looked at him in surprise.
“But if you look at the things that you don’t like about them, they really have nothing to do with each other, and you might well get a horse that doesn’t have either of the bad qualities. I think that it would be a smart match, quite frankly.” She crossed her arms, and he could see that she was feeling personally judged by the fact that he didn’t want to use the horses that she had suggested, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
With a sigh, he put his arm around her and pulled her over to the side of the table he was standing on.
“Perhaps you didn’t notice this before, but if you see here, I have all these horses on this side, then I have these other horses over here. I know it might seem strange at first, but there is a reason for it,” he said with a smile. She looked at him in surprise, then she looked down at the table. He could see when the realization sank in, and she sighed as she looked at the horses. Chase had deliberately separated the horses that were his father’s from the horses that belonged to the Jacksons.
“I thought that you were going to purchase those horses—or that you had some sort of agreement worked out with the Jacksons that you could use their horses?” Charity looked at him with confusion in her eyes, and he hesitated. Chase knew that he wanted to end the contract he had with the Jackson family, but at the same time, he still wasn’t certain how much he wanted to get Charity involved in his affairs.
He knew that she was still planning on leaving, and as such he didn’t want to give her all the plans that he was going to do with the estate before she did. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her, or that he thought she was going to take the information and use it against him. In some way, he was merely worried that he was giving out too much private information to someone who didn’t need to have it..= He wanted to share so much with her, but he also felt torn about it, he wanted to share it with her as more than just two people who were trying to get through a few months together.
He wanted to share it with her as partners for life.
But, that was something that needed to be shared by both of them—it didn’t matter to him how badly he wanted her to stay if she didn’t want to stay herself, and he knew it. But, he had to come up with something—she was looking at him with the expectation clearly written on her face, and he knew that he had to give her some sort of explanation.
At last, he sighed. “I wasn’t really sure how I was going to say this, because I know it is something that you and I have talked about before, and it’s something that I have wanted to do for some time now. I am really considering breaking the contract with the Jackson family, and I have to decide what I am going to do if that happens.”
“I think you should. You know I have been saying that you should ever since that contract was s
igned, and I’m not going to change my mind now. What are you waiting for?” Charity was speaking so quickly, it was difficult for him to get a word in, but when she stopped, he shook his head.
“It’s not as simple as that, I wish it was, but it’s not.” He shook his head and she looked at him with expectation in her eyes. He knew that she didn’t understand, though he wished that she did, but he was going to have to explain it to her carefully if she was going to.
“Why not? It should be as simple as just telling them that you don’t want to work with them, isn’t it?” Charity was breathing quickly, and Chase could see that she was trying not to get upset. He knew that she felt very strongly about what he did with the contract, and he wanted to make her happy with it, but in addition to that, he didn’t want to do something that would be a mistake in the long run. He had to think about the estate, and though he, too, wanted to get out of the contract that he had with the Jacksons, he knew that he couldn’t do it if he didn’t know for sure that the estate was going to be alright without them.
“Because I have to be wise about the decision I make in regards to my family and this property. Suppose I were to break the contract then come to find that I don’t have any good breeding stock myself, or that I can’t get the horses that I breed to take? I can’t risk losing this entire estate because I don’t like those that I am in business with,” he said with a sigh. He could see that she was still finding it difficult to understand why he had to be so certain about his horses before he made any final decisions with the contract, as she had never had to deal with anything as large as this before.
He wished that he could make her understand—he wished even more that she would merely just trust him and not question his decision to wait until he knew what he was doing before he moved on with it, but he knew that it was also something that he merely had to deal with as it was. There would be no changing her mind unless she decided to change it herself, and though he could do his best to urge her along, there was ultimately nothing he could do.
“Well, why don’t you look through all of them until you are certain with the ones that you want to pair, and you can make your decision after that,” she said. He could see that she was fighting to have a sweet tone as she spoke, but it was clear behind her eyes that she was hurt that he didn’t just do as she suggested and get rid of the contract with Annabelle.
“That is what I am working on right now—you are certainly welcome to help me if that is what you want to do, but we are going to have to be careful with the decisions we make—and remember, I don’t want to risk any of the bad qualities with these animals that we get in the spring.” He smiled and offered the papers to her, but Charity merely shook her head as she walked back toward the door.
“I think I am going to go to the sun room for a while and read my book. I wanted to get through a few more chapters before I didn’t have the chance to read it anymore.” She spoke over her shoulder as she walked out of the room, and Chase sighed. He knew that he had hurt her feelings, and he didn’t know how to make it up to her. He and Annabelle had had many fights and disagreements when they were courting, and he had never known then what to do, either.
But, he knew that there were more important things that he also had to worry about right now than how Charity was feeling about the horses—if he didn’t work with them and pair them up himself, he was going to have to use the horses he was purchasing from the Jacksons, and that would make it far more complicated to get out of the contract he so desperately wanted to get out of.
Chase sighed as he sat back down and picked up the papers he had made. He had sketched some ideas of what he thought foals would look like from some of the pairs that he had considered doing, but that was to take his mind off the real problem he was facing—what he was really going to do with the contract and Annabelle Jackson.
No matter what he did, it was going to be difficult to get rid of her, and he knew it. There was far more to her and the contract she had with them than the horses, and though he wanted her to just go away and leave the estate alone, he knew that it wasn’t going to happen without some real kind of settlement taking place.
It was hard enough knowing that his parents were going to be leaving, he didn’t know how he was going to make this other change to the estate so quickly. But, time was against him—he had to choose which of the animals he was going to breed quickly, or it would be too late in the year. With a final shake of his head and sigh of irritation, he shoved the papers across the table and buried his head in his hands.
He had thought that this was all going to be simple—but it seemed the closer he got to taking over the estate himself, the harder everything was becoming, and he was caught in the middle of all of it.
Chapter 27
Charity didn’t know why she felt so irritated with Chase, but hearing him talk about ending the contract, then hearing him tell her that he might not do it was enough to make her feel anxious and upset. She wanted him to end the contract so badly, but at the same time, she knew that it had nothing to do with her, and she couldn’t ask him to do anything that he didn’t want to do himself.
She knew he was aware that she came from a humble background, and there were moments when she thought that he didn’t trust her to make business decisions because of it. It was as though he was worried if he did then she would prompt him to do something that would make him lost his home or the family estate—something she would never do to him. Charity knew how important the entire family estate was to Chase, and she knew that he would give anything to make sure it succeeded, but she also knew how business worked, and she thought he would be much better off if he went with his own animals rather than using animals he would have to pay fees on.
Charity walked into the sun room where she planned to read, but when she sat down and picked up the book, she couldn’t concentrate on any of the words. Every time she tried she could only see Annabelle’s face on the page, and she grew angry and upset. She didn’t want to let the girl get to her like she did, yet Charity couldn’t help but wonder if Chase was partly keeping the contract because he wanted Annabelle to be around.
She knew in her heart that it was ridiculous for her to think such things, but there was no reasoning with her mind whenever she let jealousy take over. She would do anything to keep it from laying root in the back of her thoughts, but she could feel it happening, and she didn’t know how to stop it. Annabelle’s laugh, Annabelle’s mannerisms, Annabelle’s beautiful dresses and blonde curls and that smile that looked like an angel’s—the more she thought about the girl, the more jealous and insecure she became with herself.
Charity had to admit to herself, as difficult as it was, that she wanted the contract to be over not because of the horses or the estate—and not even because she wanted Chase to be happy with the horses. She wanted to make sure Annabelle stayed away from him—and that she wasn’t going to move in on him when she was out of the way.
She finally gave up on the book and rose from the chair, walking back and forth with her arms crossed in front of her. She wanted to talk to someone—anyone about what she was feeling, but the problem was, she didn’t know what she was feeling. Though she hated to admit it, she was jealous—very jealous. She hated every time Annabelle came over to the house, and she really hated when he was alone with her.
Though deep down inside Charity knew that if Chase was going to get back together with Annabelle whether there was a contract or not, she liked to believe that if the contract was gone, Annabelle would be, too. Charity suddenly felt a tear run down her face, and she quickly swiped it away with the back of her sleeve. The last thing she wanted to do was give Annabelle the power to make her cry, whether the girl knew it or not.
“Charity? Are you alright?” Chase’s voice came from behind her, and Charity quickly turned away from him, massaging her eyes with the backs of her hands before telling him that she was just fine.
“I was going to read the book, but it is so dry in here that m
y eyes won’t focus on the words. I thought if I looked out the window for a few minutes they would feel less itchy, but it doesn’t really seem to be helping.” She knew that Chase would be able to see right through her lie, but it didn’t stop her from trying. The last thing she wanted was for him to know that she was crying, especially after the conversation they had just had in the other room.
Of course, she wanted him to be happy with the horses—both now and the horses that he bred in the future, and she tried to focus on that in spite of the fact she was upset about Annabelle.
“Listen, I didn’t try to make you feel like you didn’t know what you were talking about in there. I know that you have a lot of wisdom when it comes to horses—and business. I just get scared when it comes to the contract and the idea that I might be making a mistake if I were to break it too soon.” He had his hands in his pockets, but Charity could only feel the anger as it rose up in her chest once more.
“How dare you say that? You are smart and capable of handling this on your own—you don’t need your father and you don’t need the Jackson family to help you along, and I want you to stop being scared that you are going to fail when I know without a doubt that you will not!” Charity didn’t mean to let the words come out, but as soon as she started, they just kept coming and she couldn’t stop them.
She knew that she had tears in her eyes, and though she was doing her best to hide them and mask how she was really feeling, she could see by the look in his eyes that he knew she was hurting. She dragged her sleeve over her eyes once more and forced a smile.
“Don’t mind me, I know that you already know how to handle these things, and I don’t mean to tell you what to do, really I don’t.” Charity knew her eyes would still glimmer, but she wasn’t going to address it. Chase didn’t say anything, he just took a step forward to give her a hug. Charity, however, took a step back and put her hands out, motioning for him to stay back from her.
Mail Order Bride: A Bride's Unexpected Love: A Western Romance Book Page 18