by Ella Maven
He froze again, seemingly terrified. “Wait, did I...? Is this not…?” He stared at the disk as if it offended him. “Flecking vendor, she told me…” he made to throw the bar on the ground. Panicking at the thought of him destroying my gift, I stepped forward with my hand out, trying to give him the most pleading expression I could.
He frowned at me, then at the disk. “Do you want this?”
I nodded.
“But why are you…?”
I couldn’t explain why I was crying. So, I once again took a step forward with my arm out and shot him a teary smile.
He stared at my mouth for two beats before swallowing and delicately dropping the bar in my hand. Then he nodded and once again looked away. “I won’t turn around again. I’m sorry.” He returned to his seat facing the wall and fell silent.
I waited a beat to see if he’d remember something else and turn around, but in the end, the lure of the bath was too much. I dropped my clothes to the ground, leaving me nude, and approached the basin. I lifted a leg over the side and let out a happy puff of air at the feel of the water on my skin. When my other leg submerged, I hissed as my raw ankle burned.
Fenix’s head went up at the sound, and I saw him start to twist at the waist, but he stopped himself at the last minute before turning around. “Are you okay?”
I stood still in the middle of the basin with my arms crossed over my chest, unsure how to answer him.
“Um,” he scratched his head. “Knock on the basin once for yes, and twice for no. Are you okay?”
I reached down and rapped my knuckles on the outside once.
Fenix’s shoulders sagged. “If you need anything, knock twice.”
I knocked once again, and I could see just the edge of his smile. “All right,” he whispered.
Content now that we had some sort of rudimentary communication, I sank down into the water and let out a long, silent moan. It just felt so good, like all the days of being stuck in that cage were washed away. I didn’t know how long I had before the water cooled, so I quickly grabbed the soap and worked it into a lather.
It didn’t have a strong smell, but it had a hint of something floral. I worked it all over my body and piled my hair on top of my head in a bundle of suds. Then I sank down into the water up to my chin and closed my eyes.
I took a moment to daydream I was at the spa with my sister. We’d just gotten a facial, and now I soaked in a bubbled bath filled with moisturizing oils. It wasn’t that I needed to be pampered right now—it was that I wanted to pretend I had some sort of normalcy, that I wasn’t actually in a tin basin usually used for cooking, and that I was wholly dependent on the kindness of an alien who had no real reason to treat me well.
I glanced over at him, but he remained still while facing the wall. What was his story? Why was he being nice? I had no idea what morality was like on this planet, and so far, I’d seen nothing but cruelty. So, what made this Drix named Fenix different?
Eventually my skin pruned, and the water grew cold. I washed out my hair and soaped myself up one last time before rinsing and stepped out. The floor was cold, and I quickly grabbed for the fabric Fenix had provided. It was huge, and absorbent, not unlike a towel. I bundled myself up to my chin, and the ends dragged on the floor.
Fenix, probably hearing my exit, sat up straight.
“Can I turn around now?” he asked with a hopeful tone, which made my heart pump double time at the consideration.
I stomped once on the ground, and he turned around.
A slight smile curved his lips when he saw me standing in the middle of the room, bundled in the warm fabric. “I can see your skin more clearly now that you’re clean,” he murmured. He picked up his pack again and walked closer to me. Laying out a fur over the pad on the floor, he sat down on the edge and began pulling out packages. “I got a couple of things at the market for you in exchange for some yilkes I killed. I had to bargain, but I think I did okay.”
He dropped a bundle of materials wrapped in twine next to him. “Here is a pair of clothes, plus a spare.” Boots were next, a pair of black ones with a thick sole. “Shoes.” A heavy quilted bundle in a green khaki color topped the pile. “This is a heavy cloak. Nights can get cold here, and I don’t know how well you can handle the temperature on the cargo ship. This might be a little big, but I got them to hem the bottom.” He pointed to a series of stitches and frowned as he picked at them with a black claw. “They were in a hurry so this a little uneven.”
Even if I could have spoken, I wouldn’t have known what to say as he continued to pull out supplies. Another disk of soap, a crude comb, and last, but not least, a sealed packaged that he opened immediately. “Fresh meat stew. I just have to cook it for you.”
I could smell it immediately, a warm scent that reminded me of home. This time, I just barely held back the tears as I knelt and reached for the pile of clothes. My hands brushed the soft, thick cloak. I hadn’t had any clothes but my filthy, thin pajamas for weeks.
This creature, who didn’t know me, took it upon himself to purchase clothes and supplies. I glanced up at him as he watched me handle the clothes. I wished I could ask why. Was it out of guilt he would eventually be trading me to feed his addiction?
A voice shouted from outside followed by an answering voice, and Fenix glanced at the door. When the voices died down, he turned to me and leaned close. “I can’t explain right now. Not…” he glanced at the door again. “Not with them so close. But I promise I will take care of you. And it has nothing to do with Bezmir’s deal. Understand?”
I didn’t understand, not really. I reached for him, but as soon as my fingers came within an inch of his face, he jerked away and stood up so quickly he nearly fell over.
“Sorry, I…” He fluttered his hands at his face. “Anyway, go ahead and get dressed. I’ll start a fire and warm your food.” He bobbed his head, eyes dark, and turned away.
Five
Jennie
The clothes were made of a material which seemed to conform to my body when they touched the warmth of my skin. The shirt was a bit large in the neck and hung off my shoulder, but there was a tightness in the chest that made up for the lack of a bra. Not that my small B-cups had ever needed much anyway.
The pants were comfortable, and the boots, while a bit big in the sole, were easy to walk in. I felt … human, and I could barely believe I had actual clothes again. I ran the comb through my hair for a while, loving the familiar tug on my scalp. I brushed until my hair was almost dry and the black strands were shiny as they lay over my shoulders. I smelled like a human again, and I couldn’t stop inhaling the cleanliness of my skin.
I turned around to find Fenix with his back to me. He was fiddling around at the fireplace and when I approached, I saw he had started a fire. A kettle suspended by a spit over the flames contained the bubbling stew. My stomach rumbled, and I didn’t know if Fenix heard it or what, because he turned around. I smiled, wishing I could say thank you, because getting clean and putting on real clothes meant more than he could probably imagine.
His gaze traveled down my body, and he seemed to be happy about what he saw, as he smiled and rose to his feet. He pointed one of two chairs near the fire. “Sit.”
I did, wanting to laugh at how tall the chair was—clearly made for someone much bigger than me. Although even at five-foot-two, I was short for a human too. I swung my legs as he got to work pouring some stew into a bowl before handing me a scoop. I remembered then that he’d been outraged I’d been forced to eat the podge with my hands. I hadn’t liked it either, but it was either that or starve. I was insanely giddy to have a utensil again.
I wasn’t sure what to expect, and while the stew had a flavor that I’d certainly never tasted before, it actually had a taste, unlike the podge. The meat was a bit chewy, and the other chunks were … unidentifiable. It didn’t matter. It was edible, and by the time I was on my second bowl, I’d decided it was tasty. When I finished my last bowl, I leaned back, know
ing I shouldn’t eat any more or I could be sick. He tried to offer me more, but I shook my head and rubbed my stomach.
Fenix seemed sad I wouldn’t eat anymore. Seeing as there was still some stew left in the kettle, I scooped it out and then handed him the bowl. He looked at it askance for a minute, as if he really wanted it, but wasn’t sure he should have it. Finally, he said with a hopeful voice, “I hadn’t planned on eating, but this won’t keep, so I should finish it, right?”
His rational was cute. I smiled and nodded. He polished off his bowl and what was left in the kettle in under a minute. I watched him eat, struck by the fangs and the flash of something shiny on his tongue. Was it … pierced? I couldn’t ask and felt weird staring at his mouth for so long, so I eventually looked away.
The window hadn’t provided much light anyway, as dirty as it was, but now I could clearly see the sun was set. The crackling fire was the only thing that provided light in the room. Now that I was clean with a fully belly, I couldn’t hold back the yawn. I had slept fitfully even when let out of the cage, and I didn’t think I’d had a decent REM cycle since I’d been on this planet.
Fenix dropped the bowl on the floor near the fire and stood up. “You must want to sleep, right? Has Bezmir given you bedding at all?”
I winced and shook my head. I’d slept on the floor with a thin fur with only my hand as a pillow.
His eyes went dark and he grumbled something under his breath as led me over to the pad. “I know this bedding isn’t the cleanest, but this fur is, so are you okay sleeping on that?”
I’d stayed in hotel rooms that cost nine hundred a night, but right now even this dirty pad felt like luxury. I nodded my head.
He gestured for me to lay down, and as soon as I was on my side, he covered me with another fur. “This one is clean too,” he reassured me. “I just purchased it in the market. It’s the warmest one they had.” He bit his lip as he studied me. “Wish I had a thick salibri fur, but this will have to do. Are you cold?”
I shook my head. When he only stared at me, I knocked twice on the wall over my head.
He smiled. “All right.”
When he made to stand up, I reached for him. At the last minute, I pulled back, remembering he’d flinched at my touch.
He caught the movement and stilled. “Are you okay?”
Where was he going to sleep? I patted the bed beside me.
He swallowed and gestured to the chair. “I’ll sleep there.”
No, he couldn’t. This pad was huge, easily big enough for the two of us to sleep without touching. Was he worried about that? I’d slept alone for weeks. He was the safest thing I’d encountered since I’d been on this planet and I selfishly wanted him as close as possible.
He seemed to be considering as his gaze drifted to the bed, as if analyzing how much room there was for both of us. Finally, he settled down beside me on his side. “I’ll lay here until you fall asleep. Is that okay?”
That was a good compromise. I knocked once on the wall over my head. Silence descended between us, and occasionally I heard voices outside our door or footsteps. Every once in a while, shouts rang out from the shop downstairs as Bezmir and his crew were surely drinking up a storm. The fire was still crackling, giving some light to the room.
I couldn’t seem to close my eyes, fascinated by Fenix’s features and unusual hair. Up close, I saw his face was scaled too, but the scales there were very small and tight knit, which was why his face resembled human skin. His lips look pillow-y soft, and his eyes were sharp and intelligent as they glowed with an inner warmth. As the scales traveled down his neck, they increased in size until they resembled a snake-like pattern on his chest. I wondered how they would feel if I touched them.
“Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?” He asked in the dark silence of the room. I shook my head.
“Sometimes the rath virus causes memory loss. Do you remember everything? Your life back on Earth?”
I felt tears gather in my eyes. I nodded and sniffed. The memories were hard. Sometimes I wished I could forget.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “If I could get you home… I’d do it.”
I believed him, which was maybe crazy. I kept second-guessing myself. Was he only being kind so I didn’t cause him issues and he could deliver me in peace?
“I never introduced myself. I’m Fenix.” He frowned. “I guess… you can’t really call me by my name, though.”
I didn’t know American Sign Language, but I could make my own. I pointed at him, and then held my hand, fingers splayed with my little finger facing him, on top of my head. My idea was to signify his mohawk. Then I pointed at him and made the gesture again. I mouthed his name.
He smiled. “Is that me?” He made the same gesture. I nodded, and he laughed with a light rasp. “Okay.” He shifted an inch closer. “I wish I knew your name.”
I hadn’t bothered trying to speak with Bezmir. But when I was alone, I tried to make my vocal cords move. I managed a whisper or two last time I’d tried. When I drew as close to him as I dared, he went still, and his eyes widened. I could feel his breath on my cheek as I opened my mouth by his ear to say the two syllables of my name. At first, nothing happened, only silence, until I managed to eke out a few sounds in a crackled whisper. “Jennie.”
He sucked in a breath as his head turned, and his gaze focused on my lips. “J-Jennie?”
Absolute bliss roared through my blood. My name. He’d said my name. I felt like a person again, after weeks of Bezmir calling me human or girl. I had a name. I was me. Jennie Kim of Texas. I nodded frantically and pounded on the wall once with my fist.
“Jennie,” he said again, and I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.
I let out wordless sob and nodded again, and again, feeling like I had a bobblehead.
“Jennie,” he repeated, his voice cracking as he seemed unsure what to do with my overflowing emotions.
I swiped at my eyes, hating the tears. The Jennie I’d been on Earth wasn’t a crier, and I didn’t cry in front of Bezmir. But around Fenix, the tears of relief wouldn’t stop coming. I tried to remind myself Fenix was still part of the system—he was only using me to get something he wanted, but he didn’t need to be so kind… did he? What was his reasoning? If only I could ask him…
“Drix!” Bezmir’s shout came through the closed door muffled but loud.
A knock came at the door, which Fenix ignored until the knock turned into a series of pounding thuds and the locked doorknob rattled. With a growl, Fenix exited the bed and threw open the door.
Hirtz stood outside. “Bezmir needs you downstairs.”
“Why?”
“You’ll find out from him,” Hirtz sneered. He tried to look over Fenix’s shoulder at me, but he was blocked by Fenix’s big shoulder.
“I’ll be down in a moment.” Fenix shut the door without another word and turned to me. “I need you to lock this door after I leave. Don’t open it for anyone but me.”
I hadn’t planned on it. I nodded and made the signal for Fenix on the top of my head with my hand. A ghost of a smile crossed his lips, but I could tell he was occupied with thoughts of whatever Bezmir wanted. “Good. I’ll be back soon.”
With only his pants, boots, and gloves on, he opened the door and stalked outside. I leapt from bed and hurried to lock it. Only when the bolt slipped into place did I hear his footsteps walking away.
And suddenly, I felt more alone than I had in weeks. When I was in the cage, I’d viewed my loneliness as a shield—it protected me as much as it kept me imprisoned. But in such a short time I’d grown used to Fenix’s presence and kindness. Would he be okay? Would he return soon? I fisted my hands at my sides. I had to get a grip. There would be a time soon I wouldn’t be able to depend on Fenix, so I better get used to it now. It felt a little cruel to have him introduced in my life only to know he’d be taken away.
I rubbed at my arms and turned on my heel to face the bed when a loud crash sounded from down
stairs. A roar erupted, and then it sounded like all hell broke loose. Shouts and hollers followed by cries of agony. The floor seemed to shake with thuds and crashes. Alone in a room with no protection, panic seized hold of my muscles and wouldn’t let go.
I couldn’t move—all I could do was stand and listen to the fighting downstairs. When pounding footsteps ascended the stairs, my body finally went into protection mode. I looked around for something to block the door, but the only option was the basin of qua. I raced over to the side and began to push. Liquid sloshed over the sides as it moved inch by agonizing inch.
Outside, doors opened, and when one voice shouted,” She’s not in here!” my knees buckled. I hit the floor but immediately got back up and resumed pushing. Sweat dripped down the back of my neck. I had just pushed the basin in place in front of the door when the doorknob rattled.
I gasped and backed up when a triumphant voice came from the other side, sounding way too close through the thin paneled door. “This one is locked. She must be in here!”
Another roar sounded, this one from farther away, and the floor trembled beneath my feet. A piece of the wall came loose and crashed to the ground. I silently screamed and rushed to the window just as a fist plunged through the door. I banged on the window, crying, wishing I could yell and ask for help and for fuck’s sake, open this damn window, but the entire thing was bolted shut.
“In here!” A black eye peered through the fist-sized hole in the wall. “I see her!”
I picked up the heavy kettle that held the last drops of our stew. Swinging it a few times, I gathered up speed before sending it sailing through the window. Glass shattered into the street below just as the door caved in. A boot sent the basin toppling over and water splashed across the floor at my feet.
I peered out the window, wondering if I could make the fall without breaking any bones. Behind me, two massive green creatures with soulless black eyes and horns stomped into the room. My heart leapt into my throat as I placed a foot on the window ledge. More glass fell to the stones below. Gulping, hoping wherever Fenix was, he was okay, I jumped out the window.