“Isn’t she wonderful? I can’t believe she’s mine,” Emmeline said as she caressed her baby’s face.
“I can’t believe it either,” retorted Dorothy, pulling out a few strands of her hair. It seemed to be a regular habit these days.
“Mom,” begged Nicholas. “Can we please put all your garbage aside for a moment?”
Dorothy sniffed as her son picked up his daughter, cradling her in his arms for the first time. She walked alongside him and put her arm around his waist. “The baby is cute, of course it is. Too bad it’s not a boy.” Nicholas shot her a look of disgust. “Bu-ut,” she continued, drawing the word out. A giddy smile crossed her lips. “She is your daughter, and that makes her perfect. I have so many plans for this child. She will be just like you, Nicholas.”
“What have you decided to call her?” asked Amy, reaching for the baby. Dorothy interfered, waving her hand aside; hurt registered in Amy’s eyes.
“I don’t think we’ve decided yet,” Nicholas said, looking to Emmeline for confirmation. There had been several names on the list they were still debating over. After all, they were supposed to have a couple more weeks. There were still so many things left to be done.
“We’ll have her name soon.” She was stuck between Abby and Marissa. Nicholas kept suggesting Beatrice. Emmeline hoped he was kidding.
“Emmeline, the child needs a name.” Dorothy’s condescending tone was unmistakable. “This just goes to prove you’re too young for this. You don’t understand the responsibility that you’ve just taken on.”
“Well, we’ll just have to figure it out. Besides, since when do any new parents know what they’re doing when they first start out?” Emmeline asked, sick of hearing this yet again. Her stomach did a little flip. At first, she thought it was because of the birth, but then she wondered if something was up.
“I think we best tell them our plan, Aaron.” Dorothy grabbed her husband’s hand and squeezed it tightly.
“Are you sure?” His eyes shifted toward the window. “I don’t know if this is the right thing.”
“Better to not let her get attached,” Dorothy insisted.
“Mom, Dad, what are you talking about?” Nicholas asked, stepping closer to Emmeline.
“We’ve decided that we would like to help you two out. We think it would be best for the child if she had more suitable parents, ones who aren’t babies themselves.” She turned her attention to her son. “I’m sorry, Nicholas, but you are a baby. So, we, your dad and I, are willing to take custody of the child.”
A stunned silence echoed off the walls.
“Get out!” Emmeline shouted, reaching to take the baby from Nicholas’s protective arms.
“See, this is what I’m talking about. She doesn’t have the maturity to handle the situation,” explained Dorothy.
Emmeline could hardly believe what she was hearing, shocked that this woman was still in front of her. Worse, it was clear from the look on Dorothy’s face that she thought that she was helping, appearing almost pleased with herself and expected Emmeline to thank her.
“What are you talking about?” Amy finally jumped to Emmeline’s aid. “You can’t expect her to hand over the child without a fight. Besides, if anyone should have custody of this child, it should be Emmeline’s parents. But it doesn’t matter. She’ll live under our roof, and we can guide and lead her. She’s not doing this on her own.”
“I wouldn’t trust you to raise my granddaughter! Look what you’ve done with your own child.” Dorothy’s tone was decidedly derisive. “Besides, Emmeline can visit the baby; it would be good for the child to see her from time to time, and of course, Nicholas will be around—until he goes off to college, that is. This is for the best. Emmeline can get her studies done; she can have a life. We’ve thought this over thoroughly, and we’re happy to do it.” Dorothy pulled at strands of hair from the back of her head.
Amy looked horrified.
“Get them out, Nicholas!” Emmeline screamed, placing her hands protectively over the baby’s ears.
“Now,” Dorothy continued, oblivious to the chaos she was causing, “I’ll let you name the child. And soon too, preferably. That way the documentation signing over custody can be properly filled out.” She crossed her arms, looking pleased with herself.
“You want to know her name?” Emmeline’s voice dropped an octave as she sternly over-pronounced each syllable. “Her name is Emmeline Hope, after the mother who will raise her, who will be there every single day of her life! I’ll be the one to wipe her tears. I’ll be the one to put her to bed. I’ll be the one crying as I drop her off to her first day of school. Me! Got it? Now get out!”
“But, don’t you understand what I’m doing for you? This is a chance for you to have your life back. I don’t mind, really.”
“Dorothy, go,” Nicholas said, his icy tone cooling the room by several degrees.
Dorothy huffed as her husband started to gently pull her by the arm out the door. Her heels clicked hard on the gray travertine floors as she left.
“Can you believe that dreadful woman? No offense, Nicholas dear. Now, let’s have a good look at that precious baby of ours.” Amy reached out to take the baby from Emmeline, who held on tighter to her sweet bundle wrapped in a pink blanket.
“This is my baby, Mom. Not yours, not hers, Nicholas’s and mine.”
“I understand. We’ll just be around to guide you—tell you when to feed her, when to let her sleep, that sort of thing.”
“No, you don’t get it. Emmeline is mine. I get to decide when she sleeps and what to feed her.”
“Mr. and Mrs. Hope,” the nurse interfered, “I think little Emmeline has had enough excitement for one day. Perhaps you could let her and her mother rest, and you can talk later.”
“Maybe you’re right.” Amy leaned over and kissed Emmeline on the forehead, then ran a hand over her grandbaby’s head. “She is beautiful. You two make a good-looking baby. Come on, Grandpa, let’s let them be for now.”
When they were safely out of earshot, Emmeline asked, “What are we going to do? They won’t let us be, you know. They all feel like they have more right to our daughter than we do.”
“We’ll just have to prove them wrong. Millie belongs to us.”
“Millie?” she asked.
“Well, you both can’t be called Emmeline, we’ll all be confused! Do you like it?”
She nodded yes. “Millie it is.”
Chapter 5
Emmeline listened to Millie, wrapped in a soft yellow blanket, suck loudly on her fingers in the plastic car seat that Nicholas had bought at a secondhand store a few weeks before. It was decorated with multicolored balloons and had a small stain, but with the precious baby inside no one could see the imperfections. Nicholas had insisted on paying for everything himself, especially after how his parents had reacted to their joyous news, saying this was the first step in proving that they were ready for parenthood.
That morning, a few days after she gave birth, the doctor came in and congratulated Emmeline, saying she could take Millie home. It was good news, Emmeline said to herself, sick of the bland hospital food and the uncomfortable bed. But as she packed up Millie’s presents and the things she had needed for her stay in hospital, a crushing apprehension began to take hold of her mind, threatening to squeeze out the tiny amount of confidence she had been storing up. In a few hours, if something went wrong then it would be up to her to figure it out. It wasn’t like Nicholas could be there for the four a.m. feedings or the midnight screaming fests Millie already seemed prone to.
The worst part was that she couldn’t even admit that she was nervous. Between her mother being too helpful and Nicholas’s mother wanting to take Millie away, Emmeline was suffocating under a microscope that was about to become more intense. One wrong move and it was a very real possibility that Millie would be taken away from her.
She knew she wasn’t the ideal mom: young, without her own house, her own car, or even a job to su
pport them. She didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life—something that regularly kept her up at a night, and had even given her nightmares at times. At least for now, Nicholas was managing to hold his mother at bay, insisting she needed to give him and Emmeline a chance to prove what they could do. His father, surprisingly, backed him up. Nicholas said this was the first time he'd ever seen his father question his mother.
As Emmeline waited for Nicholas to pick them up from the hospital, a nurse stopped by her room and asked her to sign a few papers, then left her with a pile of brochures. Emmeline absentmindedly glanced through them, not sure if she wanted to take them home or not. She pulled Millie out of the car seat and sat helplessly on the edge of the bed.
“What am I doing?” she asked Millie, gently stroking her little tuft of brown hair. “I don’t know how to do this.”
She turned the baby around so that she could peer into her alert and inquisitive little eyes. “The only thing I can promise is that I will do the best I can for you, and no matter what, I will never let anyone take you away from me.” She wished she felt as upbeat as she sounded. Maybe if it wasn’t so gloomy outside, then she’d feel a little better. Ginny’s life motto of “Fake it till you make it” came to her mind. There was going to be a whole lot of faking it going on!
Nicholas walked in the door with an armful of fresh-smelling pink Gerbera daisies wrapped in crinkly pink paper, and Emmeline sighed. “You’re too good to me.”
“Not near good enough.” He smiled and handed her the bundle. Emmeline took a deep whiff of their distinctive cherry pie smell and noticed he was still holding one more flower, a perfect pink rose, in a clear cellophane wrapper.
“This is for Millie. I want to be the first man who gives her flowers.” Tears brimmed Emmeline’s eyes. Nicholas wiped them away and kissed her on the forehead.
Together they gathered up the bags, flowers, baby presents, and over-the-top giant teddy bear Callum had left for Millie and headed out to the car.
“I can’t stand to be apart from her,” Nicholas said as they slowly walked across the parking lot. “I wish we could all be together all the time.”
“Me too,” Emmeline said wistfully. “What else can we do? We can’t afford our own place.” This was not the picture she had in her mind when she was little, playing house with her friends in multicolored tutus, fantasizing about when they would have babies of their own. It was gut-wrenching. She may be young, but it didn’t change her hopes and dreams for her baby’s life. Millie should have both her parents with her all the time.
“I might have a plan to fix all this.” Nicholas looked hopeful, as if he was testing the waters.
“Are you going to share?”
“Not yet, but I just wanted you to know, you don’t have to worry.”
“Not sure that helps,” Emmeline answered and bit her lip.
She snapped the car seat into place in the back of Nicholas’s Subaru. Not exactly a traditional family vehicle, but the whole idea made Emmeline smile. They were doing things on their own terms. That meant a sports car to bring Millie home in.
All through the drive home, everything looked different. The trees seemed bigger, the river that cut the town in two seemed wider, the water raced faster. Was this the place for her to raise Millie up in? Everything was up for debate. But, if she was honest, this was her town. Most of her classmates wanted to run away to the city where things were constantly changing, life was more exciting, and there was always something new to try. She felt differently; there was something about this town that spoke to her. Maybe it was the history. She was a Hope, after all. Coming from Port Hope, that meant something—at least to her. Her great grandmother had been a force in this town, dominating the social and political scene long before it was fashionable for a woman to do so. It made Emmeline not so secretly pleased whenever she thought about it. Maybe she could draw on her great grandmother’s strength to become who Millie needed her to be. Her grandmother Emmeline had always been a role model she was pretty sure she would never live up to. There was even some sort of inheritance that she was supposed to get at some point, although the details had always been sketchy.
Amy was there waiting for them, peering through the lace curtains that adorned the picture window at the front of her red brick century home.
“She’s seen us,” Emmeline said dryly as they pulled into the driveway. “We have to go in now.” Amy had become a fountain of unwanted advice, and Emmeline was feeling strained, wishing she could avoid her completely.
Emmeline grabbed Millie from the back seat, while Nicholas struggled to get a ridiculously large teddy bear out of the trunk where it had barely fit, muttering, “Remind me to return the favor to Callum if he ever has kids.”
Amy ran out the door and greeted them with an overbearingly sweet tone. At least she’s trying, Emmeline thought. I have to at least give her that.
“You have got to see what I have done!” Her hands animated with wild excitement, Amy completely ignored the life-sized teddy bear Nicholas was now dragging up the front walkway.
Inside, the front hall held practically an entire flower shop worth of bouquets that had been sent over to welcome Millie home, each with miniature cards on long plastic sticks saying who they were from. By the stairs, a black lacquered table was layered with presents wrapped in varying shades of pink.
Emmeline was touched by the amount of people who had dropped gifts off. She ran her fingers over a few of the sparkly bows and saw Nicholas’s eyes light up as he saw them.
“Phew, properly sized presents! This bear is going to need a room of its own.” Nicholas plopped the bear down on the ground with a heavy sigh.
Emmeline laughed. “You sound like an old man!”
“What do you expect? I’m a father now!” He winked at her.
“Would you two quit talking and follow me?” Amy was already standing at the top of the stairs, motioning for them to follow.
Emmeline took a sleeping Millie out of her carrier and followed Nicholas up the carefully restored wooden steps that twisted at a stained-glass window on the way to the second floor. A familiar antique Persian rug, with an intricate design of swirls that faded into each other, greeted them at the top. The second floor had three bedrooms and a full bath. Emmeline’s room was to the right, while the other two rooms sat empty in case of company. Her parents had a massive bedroom in the addition at the back of the house. For the most part, Emmeline had the second floor to herself, and she was confused by the new soft pink hue coming out of one of the spare rooms.
Amy presented the room as if it were a car on The Price is Right. “What do you think?”
Emmeline’s lips drew a tight line. The bedroom across the hall from hers, which had been decorated with antique quilts and beige walls, was now transformed into a cacophony of pink frills, shimmer, and lace. Sparkly tiaras and feather boas hung from shelves, and there was a baby modeling magazine displayed upright on the dresser. The closet overflowed with dresses, matching hats, and tights. This was unexpected.
“Isn’t it just darling?” Amy clasped her hands together at her chest. “You aren’t saying anything.”
Emmeline boiled under the surface. No one had bothered to consult her on what her daughter’s room should look like. Shouldn’t that be a mother’s decision?
Nicholas put on a smile and acted the diplomat, thanking Amy for what she had done.
“Emmeline, speak up! You aren’t saying anything. Doesn’t that fancy school of yours teach you anything?” her mother asked, looking confused.
No matter what Emmeline said at that moment, she would be letting someone down: her mother or herself.
Chapter 6
“How did you get all this done? I was only gone a few days,” Emmeline finally managed to squeak out. What else could she say? All the bravado she had acquired during her labour was gone along with the energy she had.
Amy took this as approval and launched into an in-depth explanation of how she
had pulled it off. Her words floated over Emmeline’s head as she kept saying to herself, Dory-style, just keep smiling, just keep smiling. The phone ringing downstairs finally released them from Amy’s clutches, and as soon she left, Emmeline wiped her hand across her forehead and mouthed “Phew” to Nicholas.
They settled Millie into her sugary sweet room. Emmeline tried to remind herself that her mother’s intentions were good, even if the execution was severely flawed, as she went through the drawers seeing everything Amy had done. Besides, it wasn’t like she could afford to do something special like this for Millie herself.
As the days wore on, she and her daughter settled into some sort of ever-shifting routine of diapers, tears, and feedings. Millie seemed hungrier at night, leaving Emmeline a sleep-deprived zombie. Nicholas ran over to see them every chance he got between school and his shifts at the train station, where he sold tickets and announced arrivals and departures. He brought Emmeline the last few assignments she needed to do before school was over for the year—something she was desperate for. Nicholas watched Millie as Emmeline took her final exams. Emmeline was pretty sure she passed, which felt like a huge win considering everything that had been going on. On top of that, her body was healing from the delivery and her muscles still felt sore and uncomfortable. She was amazed at how different her body looked now that she had given birth compared to before she had been pregnant. Nicholas couldn’t help but comment how much curvier her hips were, and salivated at the two round melons that stood up at attention on her chest.
“Of course he’d say that,” said Ginny, sitting cross-legged on the floor, playing with Millie in her bouncy chair. Nicholas was working most of the day, but did a flyby visit to snuggle with Millie on his lunch. He had been a littler friskier than normal, whispering some words into Emmeline’s ear that made her blush.
“I know, but he didn’t have to be so graphic about it.” Emmeline was still embarrassed.
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