Ugh. “Yes, Mr. Rollar.” I walk away before he can make me feel any lower.
***
Tori’s cell rings for the fourth time since I came over. She checks the screen and yells something that doesn’t even sound human before answering the call. “This isn’t Toby’s cell, so stop calling!” She slams the phone down on the bed. “My brilliant father had to list both our numbers in the school directory under T. Michaels. If another girl calls my cell thinking it’s Toby’s, I’m going to scream.”
I don’t mention that she’s already screaming.
“It’s so disgusting! I mean, what is it about him that makes every girl turn into a drooling idiot?”
His piercing blue eyes, his sexy, messy hair, the way his smile is slightly crooked.
“Becca, are you even listening to me?”
“Huh?” I jump. Please don’t let me be drooling. I’m just as bad as those other girls. “Sorry, I was thinking about the trig test.”
“The trig test?” She arches a brow. “Since when do you think about a test that’s, like, a week away?”
“Uh—” The floorboards in the hallway creak as Toby steps into the doorway. I bite my lip to keep from blurting out my undying love for my best friend’s brother.
Tori whips her head around, glaring at him. “Tell your girlfriends to call your cell. I’m not your messaging service.”
“They don’t call my cell because I don’t give them my number.” He shifts his gaze to me, and I can’t help feeling what he’s about to say is meant for my benefit. “Besides, they’re not my girlfriends. I’m not looking for their attention. I have no interest in them.” The corner of his mouth curves up slightly.
My stomach is aflutter with thoughts of Toby giving me his number. Of Toby wanting my attention. But that’s crazy. I’ve known him for years. He’s never looked at me as anything but Tori’s best friend. I grab Tori’s pillow and squeeze it to my chest, keeping my eyes on anything but Toby. I have to make these feelings go away before Tori finds out and I lose my best friend.
“Whatever. They keep looking it up and dialing me by mistake. Just tell them not to call my cell anymore or I’ll rip every hair out of their heads.”
“What’s got you all bothered, sis? That time of the month?”
Oh, he did not just go there! I meet his eyes, and he winks at me. Winks! My insides melt again.
“How would you feel if all your guy friends were calling you about me?”
“How do you know they don’t?” Toby smiles again, and this time Tori is the one to melt.
“Do they? Which ones?” She flings herself at him, grabbing his shirt in her fists. “Tell me! Is it Ryder?”
Toby backs up and laughs. “Easy, sis. You wouldn’t want to seem desperate.”
“Just tell me who!”
“Fine. Jeff.”
“Jeff?” She lets go of his shirt and turns to me. “Jeff?”
I shrug. Toby has a lot of friends. It’s hard to keep track of them, especially when I’m busy staring at Toby.
“He was here two days ago. You probably didn’t notice him because you were too busy throwing yourself at Ryder.”
Tori’s face reddens. “I do not throw myself at Ryder!”
“Sure.” Toby shakes his head. “You know, before you go complaining about the girls calling you to talk to me, you should take a good look in the mirror. You aren’t that much different from them.”
“Get out!” Tori shoves him hard in the chest and slams the door behind him. “Can you believe him?”
He has a point. Tori has been drooling over Ryder for months. She finds every excuse possible to talk to him. She really isn’t any better than the girls throwing themselves at Toby. No better than me. Although, I choose to keep my feelings hidden and let them explode in the privacy of my diary.
I shrug. “He said he doesn’t want their attention.”
She scoffs. “And you believe that? Come on.”
“Why would he lie?”
She sits down on the bed. “I guess you’re right. I mean, it’s just us. Why would he care what we thought?”
Right. Because Tori’s his sister, and I’m practically family. God, does he really see me as his second sister? That would be the kiss of death.
“Who is your brother interested in? You must have some idea.” I hope I don’t sound too curious as I mentally chant my own name.
“No idea. All he talks about is basketball. I don’t listen much.”
I can’t imagine not listening to Toby. His voice is deep, and it sends chills through me.
“He does let Meredith hang all over him though, so I guess he must like her—at least a little.”
“Did Meredith call your cell?”
“No, and she’s lucky she didn’t. I’m about to rip someone’s head off.”
Yeah, but if she didn’t call Tori’s cell, that might mean she already has Toby’s number. I shouldn’t be surprised. Toby and Meredith make sense. They both like basketball. They’re both popular. Meredith would be the perfect girl for Toby.
Only I don’t want her to be.
Chapter 2
I open my trig book, determined to actually understand this unit, but the truth is numbers make my head hurt. What’s the point in learning all this when they make calculators to do the math for you? I push the book aside and pick up my cell. 6:35. Toby should be home by now. Basketball season is over, but the guys still get together every day to shoot hoops. I dial Tori.
“I’m bored out of my mind. Want to do something?” she blurts out the second she picks up.
“Hello to you too.” I laugh.
“Sorry. I had to silence my phone after the seventh—seventh—call for Toby. This is seriously ridiculous. I need to go out, do something to get my mind off the fact that the entire female population of Lansfield High wants to date my brother. You’re the only one I can be around without having to hear how amazing Toby is.”
That’s because I don’t tell you. “What do you want to do?”
“Go shopping. I need some retail therapy.”
“Sounds good.” No, wait! If we go to the mall, I’ll miss seeing Toby. “Um, do you think after we shop you could help me with trig? Mr. Rollar is threatening to call my mother if I don’t get my grades up.”
“Ick. Why do teachers always pull the mom card?”
“I don’t know, but I need help.”
“I barely managed a B on the last test, but I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thanks, Tori.”
“Pick you up in ten.”
I hang up and search my closet for a cute outfit. Something that will get Toby’s attention. I need him to stop looking at me as Tori’s best friend. It’s like he doesn’t even notice I’m a girl. After flipping through my entire wardrobe twice, I slump on my desk chair. I need new clothes. I settle for skinny jeans, gray boots, and a black top, figuring I’ll buy a cute new top at the mall and conveniently spill something on this one so I can change before we go to Tori’s.
Twenty minutes later—because Tori’s always late—we’re on our way. “I have to break in my new credit card,” Tori says, wagging her eyebrows.
“I’m sure your mom will love that.”
“What? Credit cards teach responsibility. That’s a good thing.”
“I’ll remind you of that when you’re in debt with interest.”
“See? That’s what I was telling Toby earlier.”
I sit up straight in my seat. “You were talking to Toby about me?”
She narrows her eyes at me quickly before focusing on the road again. “So? What’s the big deal?”
“Nothing. I’m just surprised you two would be talking about me. You said all he talks about anymore is basketball.” I pray she buys my lame cover-up.
“Good point.” She nods, obviously satisfied. “But I was saying how you’re so down to earth. You don’t take risks. Just play it safe and do what’s expected of you.”
Ouch! “Wow, I didn’t
realize you thought I was so boring.” And she said that to Toby! How am I ever going to get his attention now?
“No, it’s not a bad thing. You keep me grounded. I need that sometimes.”
“That’s not quite a compliment, just so you know.”
“Well, I meant it in a nice way.” She bats her eyelashes at me the way she always does when she puts her foot in her mouth.
“What do you need at the mall, anyway?” As much as I’m pissed, I don’t want to talk about my epic lameness anymore.
“Need?” She laughs. “Shopping isn’t about what you need. It’s about what you want. You could learn a thing or two from me, you know.”
Except I can’t have what I want. Not without losing my best friend. Why does the most perfect guy I’ve ever met have to be Tori’s brother?
We pull into a parking spot and Tori practically drags me into the mall. We hit every store, and she tries on everything in her size. I let her do her thing while I look for the cutest top, the one that will finally make Toby notice me. It takes me until the last store to find it, but it’s perfect. The neckline is low, which so isn’t me, but that’s why I love it. It’s black and lacy and demands attention.
“I’m going to try this on,” I tell Tori, grabbing the shirt from the rack.
Her eyes widen. “You’re kidding me.”
“No, I’m not. I like it.”
“Me too. That’s why I’m surprised.”
“Well, I’ve decided it’s time for a little change. I don’t want to do what everyone expects of me anymore.”
She reaches for my arm. “Look, Becca, I really didn’t mean anything bad by what I said earlier. You know I love you.”
“I know, but I need to do this for me.” And for Toby.
She nods. “I bet you look amazing in it.”
“Let’s find out.” I take the top into the dressing room and try it on. The girl in the mirror is still me, but at the same time not. I feel like I’m wearing Meredith’s clothes.
“So?” Tori yells. “Let me see.”
I step out of the dressing room, biting my lip and trying to keep my nerves under control. Maybe this change of appearance isn’t such a great idea.
“Whoa, Bec. You look hot.” She smiles. “I knew you had it in you.”
“You think? I feel a little silly.”
“No way. You have to buy that.”
I look at the price tag. Fifty dollars for one top? “I don’t know. It’s a lot of money.”
“So? Who cares how much money it is if it makes you look that good?”
I turn back to the mirror. Fifty dollars is a lot of money, but if Toby likes it…
Fifteen minutes later we’re back in Tori’s car and heading to her house. I have the shirt in a bag on my lap. I totally chickened out of my plan to swap tops so Toby could see it, and I’m already planning to return the shirt after school tomorrow. It just isn’t me.
We stop in the kitchen and grab some iced tea and tortilla chips. I sit at the center island and take the top out of the bag. “I think I made a mistake buying this.”
“What?” Tori whips around, spilling iced tea on my shirt. “Sorry.” She hands me a dishtowel, but I’m soaked. “Go change into your new top. You can’t stay in that one.”
“But I’m going to return it. I shouldn’t really wear it first.”
“Go put it on.” Her tone is forceful.
“Put what on?” Toby flings his backpack on the island next to my bag.
“Becca bought this totally hot new top, but she’s embarrassed to wear it.”
My cheeks get insanely hot, and I probably look like a tomato. “I’m not embarrassed. I just decided I don’t like it. It’s not my style at all.”
“That was the point, remember? You said you wanted a change.” Tori pours me another glass of iced tea.
“Let’s see the shirt,” Toby says. “I’ll tell you if it’s you or not.” He stares at me, and I can barely form words.
“Um…”
Tori yanks me to my feet. “Go! You can change in my room.”
I sigh and take the shirt upstairs. What else am I supposed to do? Besides, I bought the shirt so Toby could see me in it, and he asked me to put it on. I can’t say no. In Tori’s room, I pull my wet shirt over my head and drape it across the back of the desk chair to dry. The new top somehow feels tighter and more revealing as I study my reflection in the mirror. I’m about to take it off when there’s a knock at the door.
I open it, expecting to see Tori, but Toby’s there instead. “Oh God!” I blurt before I can stop myself.
He looks me over without saying a word. The silence is killing me, and I’m dying to put my other shirt back on, wet and all.
“Um…” I clear my throat. “Are you going to say anything?”
“I like the top.”
He likes it. I breathe again.
“But it’s not you.”
My heart sinks. “What do you mean?”
“It’s cool, don’t get me wrong. But you have a more laid back style. You don’t try to look good like other girls.”
I don’t try to look good? I suddenly feel two feet tall.
He holds his hands up. “Whoa, I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry.”
“What did you mean?”
“I like your style. I like that you’re comfortable with who you are. You don’t try to impress people. You’re just you. And that’s cool.”
I’m cool? “You really think so?”
He nods. “I’d return the top and buy some more of those cute t-shirts you wear. You know, the ones with the crazy sayings.”
He’s noticed what I wear. “You like those?”
“Yeah. Like I said, they’re cute, and they make me laugh. The sayings, that is.”
“I saw one today that said, ‘Monkeys keep me up at night.’”
He laughs. “See, I have no idea what that means, but I’m picturing you in these cute little pajamas with monkeys braiding your hair and jumping on your bed.”
He pictures me in my pajamas?
“Oh, sorry. Was that weird?” He swallows hard and any trace of laughter leaves his face.
“No, it—”
“What’s taking you so long?” Tori asks, coming up the stairs.
Toby gives me a smile before turning toward her. “I was just telling Becca that the shirt isn’t her style at all. Way to encourage her to spend a fortune on it, though, sis.” He pats her shoulder and walks to his room.
“Jackass,” she calls after him.
“He’s right.”
She narrows her eyes at me and pushes me into her room. “He so is not. That top looks amazing.”
“Yeah, but it’s not for me. I could buy five t-shirts for the price of this one.”
“Not more of your t-shirts.” She moans and flops on her bed.
“Toby likes them.” Why did I just say that to her? I instantly tense up.
She lifts her head to look at me. “Since when do you care what my brother thinks?”
I shrug. “I didn’t say I did, but he agrees with me.” I turn around and pull the shirt over my head. I quickly slip my wet t-shirt back on. “This is me. Take me or leave me.”
She rolls her eyes. “As long as it’s what you really think and not just you going along with what Toby says. Why everyone always thinks he’s the perfect twin and takes his side…” She shakes her head, dismissing the thought. “Whatever. Don’t we have some trig to do?”
“Unfortunately.” I sit down on her bed and open her book. I forgot to bring mine. No wonder I’m not doing well in that class.
We spend the next hour going over the unit, and it still makes no sense to me. Out of the twenty problems we have for homework, I can only answer four, and I’m pretty sure they’re all wrong.
“This is hopeless.”
“Why don’t you ask Mr. Rollar for extra help after school?”
I shut the book and glare at Tori. “Who wants to study with their teacher? I�
��d rather he call my mom.”
She gets up and walks over to the computer on her desk. She logs in to her email. “So then ask for a tutor.”
“A tutor? You mean like some brainy math geek?” I picture Lester Abrams teaching me all about tangents and cosines. “No way.”
Tori shrugs. “My brother’s a brainy math geek. I bet he’d tutor you.”
Toby? He is really good in school, and having him for a tutor would mean I’d get to spend more time with him. Although I doubt it would help my math grade. I’d be studying him more than anything else. And what if he thinks I’m a total loser for not understanding this stuff? After the way he looked at me—before Tori interrupted us—I feel like maybe I’m not just his twin sister’s best friend. Maybe I’m someone he could be interested in.
“I don’t know.”
“Why?” She spins her chair around to face me. “You have a problem with my brother?”
Yeah, I’m totally into him. “No.”
“Then ask him.”
“Now?”
“Yeah. I’m not letting my best friend flunk out of math.” Her eyes narrow. “Why are you being so weird about this?”
“I’m not. I just don’t want people to think I’m dumb.”
“It’s just Toby. Who cares what he thinks?”
Me.
“You guys could study over here so no one would even have to know he’s tutoring you.”
Except then Tori would see us. She might catch me drooling over Toby. This is such a bad idea.
“Maybe I’ll ask Lester.”
“Lester Abrams?” She pretends to gag. “Why would you want to be seen with him?”
“I don’t.”
“Then it’s settled.” She gets up and walks out of the room.
“Tori, wait.” I follow her, not sure how to stop her without looking too suspicious.
She knocks on Toby’s door. More like pounds to be heard over his guitar. Yeah, he plays the guitar. Totally sexy.
Toby opens the door, his eyes immediately falling on my black t-shirt. “Much better.”
I smile and quickly turn away before he can see how red my cheeks are turning.
“Look, Becca’s having trouble in trig, and Rollar threatened to call her mom. She needs a tutor. Will you do it?”
Crush: A YA Romance Collection Page 92