by Rebel Hart
And anger filled my chest once more.
I waited with baited breath for him to stay something. As he held my head up, gazing into my eyes, I wondered what other horrors he’d done to people. I’d never forget those evil eyes so long as I lived. They’d haunt me. Forever. They’d define the word ‘Satan’ for me. Forever.
I thought about all the people who were in the wrong place at the wrong time with this man. People who said the wrong thing. Or said ‘hello’ to the wrong person. Who made a bad deal in exchange for their soul. Just like Satan himself did. I thought about Max’s mother. What she must’ve gone through before she was so disgustingly killed by this man.
My heart ached for the nightmare that was Max’s childhood.
My eyes watered as Max groaned out in pain. The sound of bones crunching and punches landing only backdropped the voice screaming in my head. A voice that kept telling me Hannah was right. A voice that kept telling me I should’ve listened to her. A voice that kept telling me I had made such a bad decision in falling in love with Max.
My heart still didn’t believe it, though.
My heart refused to believe that Max was a bad decision.
His father tilted my head to one side, then the other. And as he studied me closely, my mind fell back to my roommate. The girl who I had once considered my best friend. As much as my heart was angry at me for admitting it, she was right. Just not about Max. I knew Max would never hurt me. I knew he’d never bring me harm. But, I should’ve taken him--and her--more seriously when they warned me how dangerous this life could be. I should’ve listened when they told me about the horrors that might follow him around. About the trouble he might get himself into because of choices he made when he was younger. I mean, I didn’t actually believe Max when he told me I might have to die for him. That my love might mean the difference between living and ceasing to exist.
Nor did I figure it would happen so soon.
I don’t want to die.
I didn’t want to die. I wasn’t ready to die. Nor was I ready to watch him die. This entire situation was so convoluted and so full of bullshit. And yet, I wondered how it could’ve ever been avoided. My mind turned to mush. His father cupped my cheek. And as he pressed into my bruise, I moaned in pain.
“Look at me, little bird.”
Reluctantly, I lifted my eyes to his. “What?”
He grinned. “Good girl. You’re a very good girl, aren’t you?”
“What. The fuck. Do you want?”
He smiled at me. “You don’t deserve this, little bird. You deserve so much more. But business is business. And I’m a man of my word.”
“Wonderful. Yay for those morals again.”
He sighed. “And, unfortunately, we’re all making the necessary sacrifices tonight.”
He released my chin and bent his lips down to my temple. I tried pulling away from him, but he fisted my hair. He kept my head in place as his lips planted themselves against the shell of my ear. I heard him breathing. I felt him breathing. And as I heard Max growl out in pain again, my jaw quivered.
“And among those sacrifices is you.”
My eyes darted around. He couldn't possibly be thinking about what I thought he was. I didn’t do anything! I hadn’t done anything wrong against this man! He stood up and backed away from me. He moved out of the way and I saw a man jump onto Max’s back. The man took him down, pinning him to the ground while another man kept kicking Max repeatedly in the ribs. I wanted to cry out for him. I wanted to scream at him to get up. That he could do this. That we could do this, together.
But fear blocked off my ability to speak.
“Ready?”
His father stepped back in front of me and I started shaking my head.
“No, no. No. You don’t have to do this. Please.”
He placed his foot between my legs on the chair. “I really wish I didn’t have to.”
“Wait. Please. I just--”
He snickered. “Ah, who am I kidding? This is the best part.”
“Maaaaaaax!”
His knee flexed and it was as if everything happened in slow motion. The way Ashton’s body moved. The way my hair flew about my face. The way I caught a glimpse of Max getting to his feet before the sky came into view. I heard his father chuckling. I heard gunshots ring out. And as the back of my chair hit the water, I let out a deep sigh.
Let’s see how well I can hold my breath.
I drew in a deep breath through my nose as water surged around my body. I took in one last glimpse of the sparkling night sky before the water closed in around me. Everything went silent. My lungs inflated with air that would soon run out. My bound appendages prevented me from swimming to safety. Nothing was heard but the sloshing of water. The crashing of waves at the ocean. Hannah’s insistent voice ringing out in my head.
Where did this person come from?
This isn’t you, Dani.
We’re still friends.
He’s nothing but trouble. All men like him are.
You’re going to get yourself hurt, or worse.
I gazed up through the wavy waters at the sky above. How beautiful it looked as it moved and rejoiced for me. I wasn’t sure what the sky was so happy about. But I wanted a slice of it. A slice of that happiness to cover up the fear that clenched my gut. I felt my lungs starting to prickle. I expanded my diaphragm, giving the air somewhere to go. But I knew it wouldn't be long before my body would take over.
And drown itself.
I thought about my parents. About my father, and how he was feeling right now. Probably disappointed in me. Ready to give me the ass-chewing of my life. I thought about my mother. How confused and distraught she must be. Guilt filled my eyes as my tears intermingled with the crystal waters. The anguish this would put them through would do them in. My father, for sure. I blinked, and the nightmare was still going on. My lungs were beginning to burn, my stomach beginning to jump.
I’m sorry, Mom.
I wanted to apologize to them. For hiding it. For lying to them. For not letting them into my life. I wanted to apologize to them for not trusting in their wants and wishes for me. I had convinced myself that they didn’t want me to be happy. When the truth of the matter was they wanted nothing but my happiness. And my safety. And my security. I never gave them the chance to be happy for me, even if they didn’t understand my choices.
I just assumed they wouldn't understand.
I’m sorry, Dad.
I never gave Hannah a chance either. As the back of my chair hit the bottom of the pool, my lungs felt as if they were on fire. Panic gripped my chest. I felt my stomach jumping again, and I tried with all my might to get it to settle. I wanted to apologize to Hannah. For not listening to her. For not talking to her. For not opening up and letting her in on what I was thinking. What I was feeling. What I really wanted out of my life. I had made assumptions about everyone, just like they had about me. And because I thought I was in the right, I assumed they were all in the wrong.
I guess you were all right, and I’m sorry.
My eyes blinked again. I didn’t want to miss a moment of this. I didn’t want to miss a moment of the sky undulating before me. I didn’t want to miss a moment of recompense as I apologized for my sins. Grief filled my body, overtaking the burning sensation that made me want to accept my fate. I wondered what had happened to Max. Had they killed him already? Were they about to incinerate his body like the other man tonight? I wanted to know. I needed to know. But I felt the leather tightening even further around my wrists. Around my ankles.
Giving me no hope of escaping by myself.
I’m sorry, Max.
I wanted to be stronger for him. I wanted to be better for him. I wanted to be the woman of his dreams. But instead, I ended up being the wounded, hunted animal that became his demise. I blinked again. I felt the water brushing my tears away. I wanted my father. I wanted my Daddy. I wanted him to reach down into the water and pull me back to the surface. I wanted someone
to jump in. Anyone. I wanted someone to come save me.
Please, Max. I’m begging you.
I blinked again, and the sky was blocked out by a shadowed figure. A dark, lanky figure, with two green specks near the top. Max’s father. Ashton. He was staring at me from the edge of the pool. Blocking out my dying view of the sky. Forcing me to relive the hell that had unfolded tonight. His wavy form waved at me. I watched his hand move side to side. As if to say ‘goodbye’ himself.
Then he stepped away.
My lungs jumped. My throat moaned. My stomach pulled in and my toes flexed. I screwed my eyes shut and willed myself to hang on just a few seconds longer. Just a few more seconds until someone could get to me. I puffed out my chest and girded my abs. I forced my mind to fall blank so my panic wouldn’t override my body’s natural need to survive. I felt my head spinning. I felt my arms going numb. My thighs tingled and my calves ached and I hadn’t been able to feel my feet for a while now.
Just a little bit longer.
Images popped into my mind. Images of my father, smiling down at me. My mother, hugging me with my college acceptance letter in her hand. The three of us sitting around a table talking about my future. Discussing my options. Laying out the pros and cons. I saw Hannah. An image from my first day on campus. I saw her standing in our empty dorm room with her immaculate decorations and her sparkling jewelry and her makeup sprawled out over her working desk.
I saw Max. Standing on the other side of the road. Sucking down a cigarette as the soft light illuminated his face.
I love you, Max.
Then, I succumbed to my destiny. Accepting my fate, accepting the moment, and allowing my body to relax.
I’m sorry. I’m just not strong enough.
40
Max
“Maaaaaaaax!”
I whipped my head up and saw my father looking off into the distance. With his hands balled up at his sides, I watched him turn around. And when my eyes gravitated beyond him, something struck me I’d never felt before.
Hopelessness.
“DANI!”
A man crammed his shoulder into my side and took me down. The sound of her hitting the water started the clock ticking down in my head. A minute. I had a minute to get to her. Sixty seconds. And these five assholes wouldn't even let me breathe. No matter what punches I threw, no matter what bones I crunched, they kept coming. Kept doling shit out.
And my father watched it all with a smile on his face.
I threw my elbow back as time counted down in my head. If Dani was the amazing swimmer I thought she was, I had maybe a minute and a half. The compromise of seventy-five seconds started ticking down in my head.
Seventy four. Seventy three. Seventy two.
If I wanted to save Dani, I had to barrel through these men. I’d have to tear through my father. But it took me damn near ten minutes just to get them unloaded of all their weapons. Guns without magazines littered the ground. Knives I’d smashed into the concrete, rendering them useless, took so much fucking energy out of my bones. But with the splashing of water as the pool buried her beneath its crystal cave, a third round of anger fueled my strength.
Causing me to charge through the men.
Sixty-five. Sixty-four. Sixty-three.
I started for my father before someone wrapped their arm clear around my neck. I coughed and sputtered, and I heard my father’s laughter fall heavily against my ears. I brought my hands up to the guy’s forearm and dug my jagged nails in. I raked down, feeling his skin give way. Feeling it gather beneath my fingers. He howled in pain as I bit down, ripping a chunk of muscle clear away from his bone.
Like I had done with Benji’s cheek.
Fifty-nine. Fifty-eight. Fifty-seven.
“All right. You guys want pain? You’ve got it.”
I cracked my knuckles and spun around. The only thing I knew was hurt. The only thing I smelled was death. Blood spattered against me as I sank my knuckles into the first face I found. Ribs broke against my toes as my boots went flying into their stomachs. Arms flew about. Legs caved in on one another. I rushed back into the mass of men trying to take me down. Determined to be the only one standing by the end of it. I counted down the numbers in my head. I felt Dani’s life slipping through my fingers. And as one of the men charged me with a knife I hadn’t found, I reached for his forearm.
I spun around, tucking his arm underneath my armpit.
And I broke that son of a bitch’s wrist as the knife fell from his hand.
“Fuck!” he roared.
Forty-three. Forty-two. Forty-one.
I was running out of time. I still had four men coming at me as well as my father to contend with. I fought without mercy. I crushed everything in my path. My sole purpose was pain. My final destination was death. Even if I had to drown my father with my own hands, so long as it got me in that pool with Dani, I didn’t give a shit about it. I throttled my hand into some man’s windpipe. His head wrenched back as I threw my elbow behind me. Another man grunted in pain as someone else came at me, and I wrapped my arm around his neck.
Before snapping it.
Thirty-two. Thirty-one. Thirty.
“She’s running out of time, you know!”
My father’s taunting voice rattled around in my head. I wouldn't be surprised if I looked up to see him jerking off to all this fucking chaos. That man would get the worst of me. That much was for certain. And as my eyes whipped up, I saw yet another man coming at me, his fists at the ready. I stuck both of my hands out and curled my fingers against my palm, except for my thumbs. And when the man was within arm’s reach, I sank my thumbs into his eyes until blood seeped down his face.
Twenty-seven. Twenty-six. Twenty-five.
Every time I put a man on the ground, I thought about her. About how scared she must feel. About the pain she must be in. I pushed through my own to get to her. Because I had to. There was no other choice. I promised her I would protect her. I promised her I’d take care of her. I loved her. I was head over heels in love with Dani. She was my everything, and I was nothing without her.
Twenty-one. Twenty. Nineteen.
The rational part of me chastised me the entire time. With every drop of blood I drew, I knew I wouldn't have been in this situation had I kept a lid on things. I disconnected myself from my emotions for a reason. I didn’t care about shit for a reason. I never let people into my life for a reason. But Dani had been relentless. Always running into me, as if she thought she was being cute. As if I didn’t know she was actively seeking me out. I knew it from the second time I’d ever laid eyes on her. She looked for any reason to be around me. Any reason to look out for me. She kept her head on a swivel for me. And it was that determination that wore me down.
It was that perseverance that made me weak to her.
Fourteen. Thirteen. Twelve.
I hated myself for caring too much. For breaking my rules. For falling in love and making her a target. It was my fault she was in this position. It was my fault that she had gotten into the crosshairs of my father. I wouldn’t let her die for me, though. I wouldn’t let her go down for this. If anyone deserved to die, it was me. If anyone needed to die, it should be me.
Not her.
Not the only shred of beauty that had ever come into my world.
Ten. Nine. Eight.
Time was running out. It was now or never. With a guttural roar, I picked my foot up and bashed it into the face of the only other man coming for me. I watched his teeth splatter against the grass. I heard him moaning in pain as his body jumped and writhed. I hated my father for using her like this. For using her as bait against me. I knew she’d be a risk. I knew she’d be a weakness. And I’d pursued it anyway. Selfishness drove me to her.
But love would bring us back together.
Seven. Six. Five.
“Not so fast.”
I charged my father, ready to knock him into the pool. Until he pulled a gun out of the holster on his hip. I panted for air. Heav
ed for it, really. And as the men on the ground that were still alive groaned out in misery, my eyes fell to his gun.
Four. Three. Two.
Time seemed to stand still. My father approached me, moving away from the edge of the pool. I couldn’t take my eyes away from him. I felt him press the barrel of the gun against my chest. My heart hammered against my sternum. His smile faded, and something akin to sorrow replaced it.
Which was impossible. Because my father didn’t understand what it was like to feel sorry for anything.
“You can do whatever you want with me. Just let me get her first,” I said.
Dad cocked his head. “You really do love her, don’t you?”
I refused to answer him and I heard that telltale tick.
“It would do you well to answer me,” he said.
I swallowed hard. “Yes. I do.”
He snickered. “And here I thought my son was just a one-pump-and-done kind of man.”
My nose twitched. “Let me get her out of that pool, and you can have me. Whatever you want to do, I’ll let you do it. Just let me get her.”
He sighed. “You know I can’t do that, son.”
“I’m not your son.”
“DNA would say differently.”
“Experience wouldn't.”
His finger twitched against the trigger. “You know, I really am sorry about all this.”
I scoffed. “Yeah. I’m sure you are.”
My eyes flickered over his shoulder. Down into the pool. Where I saw Dani’s immobile form sitting against the bottom of the pool. I didn’t see any bubbles. The water was starting to still. And as the clouds moved away from the moon, the glow of the night illuminated my father’s disgusting face.
One.
“Dad, please.”
He blinked. “Did I just hear my son beg?”
I drew in a ragged breath. “Please. Let me get her. She’s already been down there a minute and a half. I’ve got less than a minute to get her up here and--”
He shoved the barrel further into my chest. “And if I did you this favor, how do you think that would make me look?”