“I can try.”
Chapter 24
SCOTT CONTINUED TO HOLD MADISON’S HANDS in his while he tried to read the spectrum of emotions playing across her face. He’d scared her when he’d told her that she’d have to be with him as a werewolf once again – that part had him scared too – but she seemed to harbor more doubt than fear at the moment. He was impressed, though her doubt was a bad sign for the practicality of their plan. Scott had long come to believe that doubt made more things impossible than any other force in the universe.
He gave her a minute, all the while letting his thumbs trace the smooth skin on the back of her hands. He could still taste her on his lips, proof that he hadn’t imagined the kiss they’d shared. If only he hadn’t let doubt creep into his own mind.
He couldn’t let it distract him, though. His primary focus had to be on getting them out of here, after which time she’d probably learn the truth about Clinton and never want to speak to him again.
“Scott,” Madison said, “how long does it normally take someone to learn to link?”
There was that doubt he’d sensed. And he couldn’t blame her. He was asking her to do something extraordinary. He just happened to think that Madison was, in fact, extraordinary.
“Most learn it as a child, and I think parents sometimes start their kids too young.” Scott hesitated but added. “It’s months though. When they’re too young to start, it can be years. It takes a certain maturity to be able to do it.”
“We don’t have months. We have two weeks. I can’t learn to link in two weeks, let alone learn this extra powerful spell you’ve never tested.”
“I think you can.” Scott held up a finger before Madison could protest. “When did you start playing the piano?”
“Huh?”
“The piano. When did you learn to play it? You weren’t a child. Your father forbade music of any kind, didn’t he?”
“Yes. I-um, I started my senior year of high school in secret. The music teacher let me practice after school.”
“You graduated with a music degree in three years. Nor four, but three. And I don’t think the piano was the only instrument you learned.”
Madison averted her eyes. “I can play the clarinet. And the violin. And the guitar. A few others, but not as well.”
“And you graduated in three years?”
“I had about thirty credits going in. I took all the AP classes they offered in high school.”
“What were your scores?” Scott asked.
“Does it matter?”
“Yes.”
“I got perfect scores on all of them.” Madison sighed. “I know I’m smart. It’s one of the reasons kids used to hate me in school. I could fall asleep in class and still get straight As.”
“Did you fall asleep?”
“No, I was usually reading. The teachers tried to stop me at first, but by the third grade they let me do whatever I wanted as long as I was quiet about it.”
“So basically you’re a genius.”
Madison looked like she wanted to fall through a hole in the floor. “I suppose.”
“It’s not a bad thing.”
“Tell that to everyone who teased and bullied me growing up. And it’s not like I went to college to be a physicist or something where I’d have started to fit in. I wanted to teach music. I always wanted to teach music. The people in that program were talented, but they still weren’t as smart as me and you wouldn’t believe the competition! I learned to shut up about certain things on my first day of school when I outplayed this girl on the piano who’d been practicing since she was seven.”
Madison took a deep breath. She looked as if she’d been holding that in for a long time and now she looked at Scott as if afraid he’d hate her too.
“You think I can learn linking faster than usual,” Madison said. “But I’m not sure. Music has always come easily to me. It’s like I’ve got music in my soul. If I’d started when I was three like I should have, I would have been one of those child prodigies. And as for school, it’s just memorizing stuff most of the time. I hear it, I know it. I didn’t completely ignore the teachers, I just didn’t need them to repeat themselves ten different ways like they did for everyone else in the class. And I didn’t need the two months of review at the beginning of every school year. Just tell me something and I know it.”
“That’s what I need you to do now.”
“But it’s magic. I’ve never taken to magic.”
“Why not?”
She shuddered, probably thinking about her father. But she didn’t reply except through a shake of the head.
“I need you to talk about it now.” He could tell she didn’t want to. He understood. He even suspected the answer, but he needed her to figure it out. She might be smart, but she wasn’t intuitive, particularly when it came to herself. Book smarts vs. street smarts, some might say. But if he forced the issue, she was smart enough to see the truth.
Madison bit her lip. The poor thing looked as if it had suffered that fate a bit too much lately but Scott didn’t stop her.
“I was afraid of magic most of my life,” Madison said.
“And now?”
“Still am, I guess. I know I’m not strong enough to really defend myself, and honestly, I don’t want to.”
“Not all magic is used for fighting. Most of it isn’t.”
“I suppose. But that’s what I’ve seen.”
“It didn’t help when David attacked you.” Scott made it a statement. “Or when I nearly killed you afterward.”
Madison shuddered. “We have two weeks. Talking about this is wasting time. If you think I can do this then the least I can do is try.”
Scott hesitated. He needed her to do more than try. He needed her to believe she could succeed. To want to. But maybe for now, this was what she could do.
“The first step is to find your quiet place.” Scott waited until she closed her eyes, then he followed suit.
* * *
Madison sank into her quiet place as easily as lowering herself into a tub of warm water. She didn’t have the instantaneous focus Scott had, but the exercises Evan had forced her to do had made a notable improvement in her speed and more importantly, in her saturation level. Focus had always been a problem for her in her quiet place, with the noise of reality intruding everywhere she looked. Her mind was constantly moving and shifting, never resting on any one thing. Never sitting still. Always worrying.
The noise was still there inside her quiet place, like static from a badly tuned radio, but she ignored it as she stood on the top riser of the choir box, located just to the left of the altar at St. Augustine’s Catholic Church.
She was alone, the rest of the choir off in quiet places of their own. Behind her arose the simple splendor of a small town church’s altar, a wooden structure lacking the pomp and ceremony of the grand cathedrals or even the statuary and intricate scrollwork of Catholic churches she saw on TV. This church had pews enough for two hundred parishioners, set in two short rows with a path between to allow the priest and his entourage to enter on Sunday.
Madison stepped off the risers, heading for the front pew where she could get the full effect of her peaceful surroundings. She genuflected before sliding into the front right pew, making a quick sign of the cross. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit...
Few people understood the sanctuary she found within these walls, least of all her father, who had used threats of hell to keep her in line. Maybe his threats should have turned her away from spirituality, or at least religion, but they hadn’t. If anything, they had drawn her closer to the source of blessing and light. She understood now that her father didn’t really know God at all, and she found the idea deeply sad. Her best friend, Cassie, for all she didn’t go to church or believe in the Christian God, understood Him far better.
Father Owen had come into her life around the same time as Cassie. Her decision to start singing again had been a combined effort
from the two of them, and she had needed both of them to find the courage to defy her father. Cassie had offered her friendship, acceptance, encouragement, and training in the social arts. Father Owen had offered her an authority figure, not unlike a real father, who could make her question everything she’d ever been taught.
Father Owen took a seat beside her in the front pew, neither looking at her nor speaking, but just being there. He wasn’t always in her quiet place, but he seemed to know when she needed him. He always waited for her to start talking.
“I’m falling in love with a werewolf,” she told him, even as she realized the truth for the first time.
“Is he Catholic?”
She laughed. “No.”
“Nobody’s perfect.”
“He’s killed people, and not always in self defense. Sometimes it’s vengeance or vigilante justice. And once it was murder.”
“God can forgive any sin for the truly repentant. His grace is bigger than ours. He loves all His children.”
“He thinks he’s going to kill me.” Madison wasn’t sure why she knew that since he hadn’t said so out loud. All he’d said to her was there were no guarantees. But she sensed something from him, a bone-deep fear that not only would he fail to protect her, but that he would deal the killing blow. It would probably destroy him.
“What do you think?” Father Owen asked.
“He might kill me, but I think... I think he may love me.”
“You sound surprised,” Father Owen said.
“Among other things. Nicolas said he loved me. My father said he loved me. Scott hasn’t actually said the words.”
“The words aren’t important. You of all people should know that by now. You should be getting good at recognizing false love.”
“Maybe, but... I don’t know. People always ask how you know if you’re in love, like there’s some formula. I figure it’s harder to let yourself be loved. At least for me.”
“You have to love yourself first,” Father Owen said.
Madison stared at him. Where had that thought come from? Wasn’t this all supposed to be inside her own head? But she knew she hadn’t made that observation.
“I said I’d be joining you,” Father Owen said. Only it wasn’t Father Owen anymore. It was Scott, dressed in tight jeans and a t-shirt that showed off his rock-hard abs.
Madison’s cheeks went scarlet. This was one of the reasons she had never wanted to link with Evan; she hadn’t wanted him to see her quiet place.
“Interesting place you have here,” Scott said.
“Yeah, well, Evan said to think of a place I felt safe and happy.”
“He was right. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.”
“So, how long were you listening?” Madison asked, remembering more details of her conversation with Father Owen.
“Why, were you talking about me?”
“No.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
“I’ve heard.”
“And isn’t it a mortal sin or something?”
“A venial sin. Definitely venial.”
“That’s a relief. So you only have to say ten ‘Hail Mary’s’ or something and you’re good?”
“Something like that.” Madison began to fidget with her hands, and the static surrounding her quiet place grew louder, encircling and closing in. “How long?”
“I only heard the last thing you said,” Scott replied. “Breathe. Focus. You’re losing it.”
“Right.” She did as instructed, and thankfully, the noise began to retreat. “I didn’t realize this was going to be like mental telepathy.”
“It usually isn’t.” Scott frowned, but he didn’t elaborate. “Look, I’ve linked before, so I found your source of magic relatively easily. What’s going to be harder is helping you to find mine.”
“I thought the stronger sorcerer usually leads the link.”
“Usually. It’s a good idea because channeling extra magic isn’t easy, and the experience is less overwhelming if you don’t more than double your flow.”
“I figure the more powerful of the two just doesn’t want to give up control.”
“That too.” Scott grinned. “I almost never give up control, to be honest. I don’t like it. I’ve done it for Evan before, and now I’m going to do it for you, because there’s no choice. When the full moon comes, we’re basically going to have one brain between us, and it will be in your head.”
“I see.” The noise began to intrude again.
“Not yet. First, I need to show you my quiet place. I’ll take you there this time, but next time it will be up to you.”
“Okay.” Madison took his hand, finding the gesture a little silly since they were inside her head, and closed her eyes.
The world shifted. She felt the newness of the quiet place around her like a jolt to her senses, but gradually she realized it wasn’t bad, only unfamiliar. In fact, as she settled into it, she felt immensely comfortable.
She opened her eyes, finding herself in a large white room overflowing with colorful pillows in varying sizes and shapes. It was soft, cozy, comforting, warm, and very, very nice.
In other words, it was everything Scott thought he wasn’t. If she needed further proof that he was wrong, she need look no further.
“I don’t let many people in here,” Scott said, giving her a careful look full of... embarrassment? “I don’t know why my quiet place looks like this, but it always has. I’ve tried to change it, but–”
“I love it,” Madison said.
He nodded, once. “All right. Let’s get down to business. You’re here. Do you feel the magic?”
She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and reached for it. The next second she was reeling, falling backwards onto the pillows which thankfully broke her fall.
“Are you okay?” Scott asked.
Her mouth opened and closed a few times as she tried to gather her scattered wits. There had been so much power! It had shocked her. Overwhelmed her. And she hadn’t even had to reach as far for the source as she did within her own quiet place. She had to scrape the dusty corners of her church home to find any real magic, but here...
“I’ve never done this before with someone weaker than me,” Scott said. “It might be overwhelming.”
“Wow.” She’d had no idea. Not even a little bit. Both Kaitlin and Cassie had tried to describe what it was like to start channeling a powerful baby’s magic through the womb, but she hadn’t gotten it. She now knew she couldn’t have understood, not without experiencing it for herself.
“How do you not explode?” Madison found herself asking.
“I was born this way. You get used to it.”
“In two weeks? It was months before they could fully unbind Kaitlin’s baby’s magic, and even Cassie, who knew the basic principles, had trouble at first. They had to rebuild the garage and buy her a new car.”
“It won’t hurt my feelings if you blow up our prison,” Scott said.
“It might if we’re inside it. I need to think.”
“Madison,” Scott began, but Madison had already opened her natural eyes, releasing the meditative trance.
Chapter 25
MADISON HAD BROKEN THE LINK BEFORE Scott even returned to full awareness. He grabbed for her to stop her breaking the circle, but she had too much of a head start. She was up, out, and in the bathroom before he had a chance to think.
“Madison!” Scott called after her. Damn it, what had gone wrong? She’d shown more backbone than this going up against two homicidal werewolves. Now, suddenly, touching a little magic meant the end of the world?
It wasn’t like her. Chilled to the bone, Scott suddenly knew with absolute certainty that something had gone wrong. He felt it.
Scott tried to open the bathroom door but it was locked. He knocked on it hard enough to rattle the door, but she didn’t answer. Inside, he heard the sound of water running. Also, almost imperceptibly, the sound of Madison weeping.
S
cott roared, kicked, and splintered the door. Madison screamed and backed up against the wall, just missing the wooden slab thrown at an angle through the tiny space.
“What the hell is-?” Scott drew up short when he saw Madison clutching her right hand in her left. He could see, quite clearly, exactly what was the matter with her.
The hand was wrong. Blackened but not by flame. Twisted but not broken. Madison had touched magic well beyond her own resources and she had literally gotten burned.
“Shit,” Scott said. He reached for her hand, but she twisted to get away from him. “Does it hurt?”
The tears filling her eyes were answer enough, but she nodded. “Can you fix it?”
Scott shook his head. He honestly had no idea how to begin to treat something like that. If he had his family’s books and access to his lab then maybe he could come up with something, but if he were back home he would be more likely to take her to Evan. The Blackwoods had far more extensive healing spells. Unfortunately, this wasn’t a normal injury. Magic had twisted her somehow. Literally burned her.
Magic could do unpredictable things when mishandled, but Scott sensed something far deeper at work here. He had known she had issues they would have to deal with at some point, but when she had demanded that they get started, he’d thought it could wait. He’d thought he could at least show her his quiet place and the magic before talking to her about a lifetime of repression. After all, Evan had worked with her and presumably had helped her get past some of her blocks.
Taking Madison’s hand, he dampened a towel and gently wrapped her ruined hand in it. It was the only thing he could think to do. Also, it hid the ugly thing from her view.
“We need to talk,” Scott said.
“We’ve been talking.”
“We need to talk about why you’re so afraid of magic. If you can’t get past that, then nothing else is going to work.”
Madison didn’t even try to argue. She simply nodded, numbly, and followed Scott back into their bedroom. No, the bedroom. Not theirs. He couldn’t start thinking that way.
Madison felt cold and stiff when Scott helped her take a seat on the edge of the bottom bunk. He sat down beside her and after only a moment’s hesitation, he put his arms around her to help keep her warm. She leaned closer, apparently drawing comfort from his touch. He swallowed nervously, remembering the remnant of conversation he’d overheard in her quiet place.
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