She wanted him to stay. That was all there was to it. She wanted him to love her enough that he didn’t walk away. It wasn’t in the cards, she knew that. He had responsibilities to tend to, a life dedicated to others the same as hers. She couldn’t help but think that if he loved her enough, he would refuse to leave her. In fact, if he loved her even half as much as she loved him, how could he walk away?
The sound of footsteps coming down the hall drew her head up from the pillow she was clutching to her chest. When she had woken tonight, she had left his bed and come back here to this cold, lonely room she shared with two others. They had been kind enough to give her space, but it wouldn’t have mattered. She was still alone.
“Acadia?”
Her heart squeezed in her chest at the sound of his voice.
Forcing her head up, she took one final look at that handsome face, hoping she could memorize his features, keep him with her long after he was gone.
“Please don’t go,” she heard herself say, the words coming out tormented.
She instantly saw the pain reflecting back at her. He was hurting as much as she was, but it was difficult to see past her own sorrow.
“I would if I could,” he said softly, not making a move to come into the room.
Acadia swallowed past the lump in her throat, but it only induced a sob that ripped from her. Pain racked her entire being, her muscles tensing, her chest tightening as the devastating ache consumed her. She didn’t even want to think about what it would feel like once he was out the door. He was still here and she was overwhelmed by pain. When he was gone…
“Come with me, balisra,” he whispered.
“I can’t.” She honestly wished she could. It was the only thing she’d ever wanted aside from her freedom from this servitude that kept her chained to this mansion, to the angels. Although the idea of leaving Obsidian was painful, it was nothing compared to the misery she felt now.
“I will come back for you.”
Her eyes searched his face. She was looking for the truth in those words, but she saw none. He was placating her. Perhaps he was hopeful it would be true, but she knew deep down he had no intention of coming back. Why bother leaving in the first place?
“We both know that’s not true,” she told him, dropping her gaze to the pillow.
“Acadia—”
She clenched the pillow in her fists. “Please go,” she bit out, another sob breaking free. “Just leave, Kaj.”
“Please, Acadia—”
“Go!”
His deep exhale and the sound of his footsteps leading away from the door tore the last shreds of her sanity.
Acadia fell over, giving in to the tears.
Although it killed him, Kaj forced himself to walk away. The tightness in his chest grew the more distance he put between them. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, but if it was any consolation—which it wasn’t—he was hurting just as much.
By the time he made it down the stairs, everyone who’d come to say goodbye to him had dispersed. The only one remaining was Obsidian, and there was a wealth of knowledge in those silver swirling eyes.
“Take care of her for me,” he said, the words pushed out past the emotion threatening to strangle him.
“I will. I promise you that.” The male clamped a hand on Kaj’s shoulder. “Do what you need to do. She’s safe here. It’ll take some time, but she’ll move past this.”
Kaj wanted to tell him he hoped that wasn’t the case, but he wasn’t that selfish. Deep down, he wanted Acadia to mourn the loss of what they had the way he would. Though she didn’t know it, he had imprinted on her. She was the only love he would ever know. Didn’t matter how many lovers he took in the future, none would ever touch that part of him that belonged to her. Then again, he didn’t intend to ever take a lover again. He would gladly spend the rest of his days abstaining, rather than bear the touch of another female.
“Keep in touch, will you?” Obsidian said firmly. “Keep me in the loop.”
“I will,” he assured his friend.
“And if you ever need anything, I’m just a phone call away.”
Kaj nodded. “Thanks. For everything. I’m not sure I can ever repay you for saving my life.”
“I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
He believed that. Obsidian was a rarity in this world, a true friend.
Forcing his shoulders back, Kaj put one foot in front of the other. He had to get out of there. He could smell Acadia’s tears, hear her almost silent sobs, and it was tearing him to shreds. But he had to get back to his father. There was danger on the horizon. Mirakel had told him as much. They would always be at war with the demons, and it was Kaj’s duty to protect the ruler of the race. As much as he wished his needs and desires could be put first, they could never come before the greater good.
“Take care,” Obsidian said as Kaj stepped out the door and into the night.
“You, too, my friend.”
When the door closed, Kaj remained where he was, staring up at the second floor, wishing he could see her one last time. He knew it wouldn’t matter. He would still be leaving here a broken and shattered male. Didn’t matter that he was stronger than he’d ever been, Kaj was no longer whole. There was a piece of him missing, a piece he’d gladly handed over to that female for safekeeping. He had a part of her with him, too, he knew that much. But it wouldn’t make the distance any easier to bear.
He was leaving his heart behind, back in that room, back with that female.
As he peered up at the dark window, he spoke softly. “I will come back for you, balisra. I don’t know when, and I don’t know how. But I will come back.”
He had to believe that.
Otherwise, there was no way he could’ve walked away.
Chapter Thirty-Two
“How are you feeling?” Bijou asked Oliver when she stepped into his bedroom.
It had been nearly seventy-two hours since Oliver had had that seizure. Since then, he’d been taking it easy, and she had appointed herself as his caretaker.
Not that he needed one. He seemed to be doing just fine, proven by the way he leaned back in the recliner, dropping the game controller as he stared at the frozen image on the screen.
“Better now.” His voice was even and smooth, as though he hadn’t a care in the world.
She smiled, couldn’t help it. “Why’s that?”
Those lovely brown eyes shifted to her, raking over her from head to foot. “I think you know.”
Ever since Oliver’s seizure and his subsequent stay in the infirmary, Bijou had been spending more time with him. She wasn’t sure if it was for his benefit or hers, though. According to Apollo, Oliver was fine. The doctor insisted on checking in with him every few hours, but aside from that, he hadn’t put any restrictions on him. As for Oliver, he was listening to her, taking a couple of nights off from work and resting.
Still, Bijou wished she knew what had caused that seizure. No one seemed to know. Or if they did, they weren’t sharing it. She suspected Apollo was hiding something, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was.
“Come sit with me?” Oliver requested.
Realizing she was still standing near the door, Bijou relaxed her shoulders and moved over to join him. She had intended to take a seat on the small love seat, but her direction shifted when Oliver held out his arm to block her.
“Here.” He moved over, opening some space for her to sit next to him.
Laughing, she glanced at the small space he was giving her. “I’m not sure my butt’s that small.”
He patted his thigh. “Then sit here.”
As much as she wanted to argue, to tell him they were moving too quickly, she knew that was merely a cop-out. An excuse because she was still worried about him, afraid she would do something that would trigger another seizure and the next time…
His hand curled around her wrist, pulling her toward him. Before he toppled her off balance, Bijou twisted, allowing him to pull
her down into the chair with him. She was draped across his lap, her legs dangling over the armrest, her back partially against his chest, partially against the other armrest.
“Much better.” Oliver sighed, then tapped the button that had the chair reclining, forcing her to lean into him.
“What are you doing?” she asked when he lifted the game controller.
“Finishing my game. What does it look like?”
Smiling, Bijou stared up at him because she couldn’t see much else. His arms surrounded her, his attention on the television once again, and he seemed completely content for her to be sitting on his lap.
What the hell, she thought, letting her head rest against his shoulder.
Another sigh escaped him and she put her hand on his abdomen.
The sounds of the game did little to distract her from the steady thump of his heart near her ear. While he played, she let her thoughts drift to their previous conversations. No matter how hard she tried to relax, her brain kept coming back to one thing. That darkness she had sensed within Oliver. They’d never talked about it, though she had always intended to bring it up, to see if she could dig deep enough to figure out what it was he was hiding. Based on everything he’d shared with her during their time together, Bijou didn’t think he knew he was hiding something. Perhaps because of her heightened senses, she could practically hear it, a steady echo of something within him.
“What’s it like to feed?”
Bijou’s head jerked up as she tried to look in Oliver’s face. “What?”
The game controller settled on her thigh, his attention turning to her. “To feed. What’s it like?”
“What do you mean?”
He shrugged. “What does it … taste like?”
“I…” Bijou honestly didn’t know how to answer that. She’d never really thought about it before. Probably because it was a necessity, not something she did for fun. “Blood is blood, I guess.”
“So it tastes like copper?”
She frowned. “Copper? No. It’s … um…” Wow. How did she explain this? “I guess there’s a richness to it. And everyone’s tastes different.”
Oliver’s head shifted back so he could look directly in her eyes. “Would you feed from me?”
Bijou made a move to sit up, to get off his lap, but Oliver’s hand curled over her hip, holding her in place. He wasn’t rough, and if she tried, she would’ve easily broken his hold, but she stayed where she was because she sensed he was serious.
“I can’t live on human blood. You know that.”
“Will it hurt you?”
“No.”
“Does it taste different than other blood?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I’ve never tasted human blood.”
Bijou held his stare, searched deep in his eyes, attempting to see where he was going with this.
“Please.”
Her gaze shifted to his neck, to the pulse she could hear thumping steadily.
“Oliver…”
“Please,” he whispered.
“Okay,” she heard herself say.
Oliver didn’t move, his eyes still steady on hers.
Bijou reached up, cupping his face as she shifted in his lap, bringing her mouth toward his neck. She would’ve offered to take from his wrist, but she didn’t want to. Despite her hesitation, she had a strong desire to feed from him, to taste him, her curiosity likely spurred by his.
“Relax,” she urged, bringing her mouth to his neck as her fangs elongated, her upper lip pulling back.
Oliver moaned softly when she pressed her lips to his skin, and it was then she realized how intimate this was. He wasn’t a Fae, nor was he merely a blood source for her to survive on. No, Oliver’s blood would do nothing for her, which made this more intimate than anything she’d ever done before.
“Bite me,” he ground out.
Shocked by the command in his tone, Bijou pressed her fangs to his skin then sank into him as gently as she could.
He hissed, his hand tightening on her hip. She couldn’t ask if she was hurting him, and she only hoped he would let her know if she was.
The instant his blood hit her tongue, Bijou noticed something different about his taste. It was familiar almost. Which was odd because she’d only ever fed from vampires and the Fae. The first time she’d taken from Madok’s vein, she had noticed the difference. He didn’t taste like vampire.
But Oliver did.
“Don’t stop,” Oliver moaned, pulling her toward him. “Please don’t stop.”
Bijou wasn’t sure she could’ve if she’d wanted to. As she latched on, sealing her lips to his skin, she drank him down. His soft moans were erotic, making her want to continue even though she feared she would hurt him. She had no idea how much blood a human could spare.
“Bijou … oh, Christ…”
Oliver’s hips jerked beneath her and she felt his erection.
“Oh, fuck … you have to stop,” he warned. “I’m … asyra… Christ, I’m coming.”
Before she could pull from his vein, Oliver’s hips bucked again. Bijou allowed him to finish before she jerked her mouth from his neck, sealing the wounds quickly.
“What did you call me?” she asked, her voice nothing more than a breath of air. Asyra was a word from the ancient vampire language. It was a term of endearment, one she knew no one here had ever used before. Yet he’d spoken it, even enunciated correctly. How? Where had he learned that word?
His brown eyes met hers briefly, but before he could respond, they rolled back in his head, his body convulsing once more.
“Shit!”
“Do you have a moment?” Acadia asked when Obsidian came down from the sunroom.
It wasn’t that she’d been stalking him, but she’d been waiting nearby in hopes she would have a chance to speak with him alone.
“Of course,” he said, motioning toward the darkened office on the main floor.
Acadia led the way inside, the lights coming on when she willed them to. Obsidian joined her, then closed the door behind him.
“What’s on your mind, Acadia?”
The idea of this had been simple. Now that she was here, now that she was supposed to come up with the words, Acadia wished she’d simply walked on by when she’d seen the male approaching her.
You can do this. The words were a mantra in her head, had been for the past half hour as she waited patiently for Obsidian to be finished. She could do this. She would.
Squaring her shoulders, Acadia stopped pacing, pivoting to face the enormous angel.
“I’m going to simply get this out there,” she said quickly. “Before I lose my nerve.”
After all, she had spent the better part of the last two days trying to come up with the appropriate way to relay this to Obsidian. Her official conclusion: there wasn’t one. The only thing she could do was lay it out there and hope for the best.
He nodded, then perched on the edge of the heavy wood desk that sat in the center of the space.
“I’d like to be relieved of my duties. Feeding the fiestreigh.” She swallowed to wet her dry throat. “I’m not trying to shirk my duties by any means, and I’d be more than willing to perform other duties, even work alongside the heurosp if that’s where I’d be most helpful. I just…”
When she peered up at Obsidian, she noticed he was smiling.
“What?”
His eyes softened. “Acadia, despite popular belief, you are not a prisoner here. Nor have you ever been. Not in my eyes. We appreciate you more than you’ll ever know, but not once have we ever seen your contribution to this war as a requirement.”
She wasn’t sure what to say to that. Acadia had never felt like a prisoner, but she knew all too well what was required of her. According to God, at least.
“You love him,” he stated.
“More than anything,” she admitted.
“Have you told him as much?”
Acadia shook her head. “Not in so many words, no.
It’s like … when those words come out, it’ll be official. No turning back.” She sighed. “I fear revealing too much of myself.” She realized how it sounded and quickly continued. “Not to him. I think Kaj knows deep down. It’s more … I know what’s at stake. Where my duties are concerned.”
“Understandable.” Obsidian’s head tilted. “But he loves you. And he’s willing to do whatever’s necessary to make you happy.”
“That’s the problem,” she blurted. “I don’t want him to do anything because of me. I know about Michael’s proposition. Kaj let me read his mind. Michael wants him to resurrect the original vampire in return for freeing the Fae.”
It was just like Michael to manipulate a situation like that. Hanging something like that over Kaj’s head … he was a noble male. He would do what was right for those he cared about. Which made this doubly unsettling.
“It makes sense that he’d want to do that,” Obsidian said. “But I don’t think you have the whole story. It’s not solely about freeing you. The vampire race is at risk. Kaj has to make a decision for his people, but the scales are weighted because he knows it will benefit you as well.”
It pained her to know that Michael would use her against Kaj.
“Trust me. You’re not the only one worried about this domino effect Michael’s set in motion. I don’t know what’ll happen to us once the Fae are freed,” Obsidian said, his tone reflecting concern. “Not that I’d want it any other way.”
She hadn’t really thought about this from his perspective. Without their blood, the fiestreigh wouldn’t be able to survive here on Earth. Fae blood was their life source, the means to their survival. It not only allowed them to survive, it provided a homing beacon so that they could be monitored, one of the Almighty’s prerequisites for allowing them to come to Earth.
“We won’t leave you,” she said, taking a step toward him. “If that’s what you’re worried about. It’s more than duty for us as well.”
Bound in Darkness Page 30