by Laine Watson
“What the fuck you mean? She say…” he began, but Jew held up his hands.
“Calm down, Trey,” Jew said.
“Nah somebody lying, and…” Trey stormed.
“So, you told Trey we had sex,” I asked, folding my arms.
“Nah, I was just playing,” Jew insisted. “I didn’t even tell him that.”
“But you told Money and Ant that, so you just gone lie? Have them thinking my sister a fucking thot?” Trey said and punched Jew dead in the nose. Jew’s nose began to bleed. He covered it with a hand.
“Man, I was just playin she know we ain’t…” Whatever Jew was going to say was cut off when Trey punched him again in the stomach.
“Com’on pussy! What’s up, mu’fucker? My sister ain’t no mu’fucking hoe!” Trey bellowed.
Now, what you have to understand is that when Trey fights, it’s a sport. It’s not vicious or heinous the way it’s supposed to be. It’s rhythmic and beautiful, like a symphony. Well, at least to him. It’s just funny to us. He was good at it, but it was also a sight to see.
He started taking his earrings off, then his top tee shirt, then his bottom tee shirt, then his wife beater, too. He pulled off his shoes, then his jeans, and then he had to put his shoes back on, all the while he’s talking shit.
First of all, he already beat the dude up. Why was he preparing for round two? He straightened his basketball shorts, and then he licked his lips like a maniac. Then his shorts weren’t on straight enough, so he had to pull them up to his nipples, and straighten them again. And then he had to pose in his defensive stance, which really just looks like the beginning of a fight in Mortal Kombat. It’s genuinely hilarious.
Bianca and I were standing in the grass, laughing, while Jew was getting murdered. The whole time, Jew was trying to reason with Trey on why he told them that. Bianca and I were like, “Good luck.” Eventually, Trey stopped punching him.
“Get yo weak ass up,” Trey said, reaching out a hand and pulling Jew up. “And you bet not say shit else about my susta.” Trey’s glare threatened.
“Man, I’m sorry,” Jew said, walking off in the direction of his house. Bianca and I looked at each other like, “What just happened?”
What’s crazy is these guys were going to still be friends, like nothing had happened. Trey was sweating, and we all were just looking at him as he was talking shit to himself about Jew, mumbling beneath his breath.
We didn’t hear the door open from the house.
“Did y’all work shit out? It’s getting late,” Cathy called from the front door.
“We did! Here we come,” Bianca yelled from the end of the yard as we walked back into Jiggs’s house.
“Ay, ya’ll come over Money house,” Trey told us. “We gone be in the back, when ya’ll get done.”
“We don’t know him,” I said.
“Katie?” Trey said. “Stop playing. How the fuck I’mma get home?”
“Alright.” I waved, and we walked back into the house to finish Jiggs’s mom’s hair.
Chapter Five: Who’s Money?
“Ooh, I love it! Y’all finished this quick.” Jiggs’s mom was admiring our work in the rectangular mirror on the wall in the living room. It was strange-looking, with a dull, gold frame around it with lots of pretty waves. “Now you know y’all splitting this hundred dollars.”
“Yeah.” I nodded. She gave us our money, and we started laughing on the way out the house, remembering how Trey defended my honor against Jew’s accusations.
“Girl, you see Trey? Tongue all turning flips. That shit be ridiculous.” Bianca laughed.
“I know, these fools been friends forever. He always be talking ‘bout Jiggs and Jew. But man, I can’t believe he bald-face lied, talking ‘bout he fucked me. Who does that?” I asked her.
“Girl, niggas ain’t shit. He petty anyway. Trey say he be making up shit all the time, It’s a fucking addiction. He need to get that shit checked out. Lying ass,” she said. We laughed.
“Dang, yeah he do. He got some type of mental disorder?” I mused, thinking maybe I did, too, with how I couldn’t let go of Jack.
“Hell nah, that nigga just a liar.” We laughed again as we closed the front door, walked through the yard, and down to the street.
“Yeah…and why this nigga gotta get butt-ass-naked to fight?” I said, shaking my head.
“…man…you hear me, I thought them niggas was getting ready to throw down,” Bianca stated emphatically.
“…Right?” I agreed.
“Man, I ain’t going to Money house,” Bianca said, shaking her head. “Just tell Trey to come over later, or text me.”
“Why? I’mma be the only girl over there,” I whined.
“Man, fuck nah. That mu’fucka…” she paused, “…crazy.” But she said it like she wanted to say something else. “I can’t stand being around him. He creepy as hell. I mean, he fine. He ain’t creepy, but he be fucked up, and that nigga say whatever the fuck he wanna say. I ain’t got time for no cocky-ass motherfuckas.”
“Dang. I don’t wanna go over there…damn,” I complained.
“It’ll be alright. I mean you like mu’fuckas like him anyway, you know how you be for white boys,” she replied, giving me a sassy grin.
“How I be for white boys?” I asked.
“…thirsty, mug…nah, I’m just playing. But I’on know. It’s just something about him I don’t like.” Bianca frowned as she considered “Money.” I sighed.
“Well, I’mma just go tell Trey I’m gonna go, if he still need a ride,” I decided.
“Okay. Well, call me later or something. Oooh…let’s go get something to eat.” Bianca smiled.
“Oooh, yeah… we sound hella fat.” We both laughed. Bianca got in her car and drove away, while I walked into the garage. I gulped as I looked around, heading to the door to the house on the other side of the garage. There was a rifle laid against the wall by the freezer. I was a little scared, my heart pounding nervously in my chest. I looked to my left, and there were a bunch of bullets on a table with other random household items, old ones. There was another rifle beside them, and several other kinds of guns hidden in a corner near the door where other random junk was crowding them. I sighed as I continued to look around.
I made up my mind then that I was going to run in and tell Trey I was leaving, and then get the hell out of there. But before I could make it to the door to the house, the garage door started closing. I was positive that I had done that.
Dang! I’m messing stuff up, this isn’t even my house. I’mma get shot. I know these white folks gone be pissed, I thought as the garage door closed. I looked around to see if I could stop it. There was a boy coming out of the door. I guessed that he was the one who closed the garage seeing as though I hadn’t touched anything.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I…” I began and then froze.
“You fucked Jew?” he asked, standing only a second in the doorway and then walking down the uncured wooden steps.
I was speechless. I couldn’t move as this boy in long-ass basketball shorts, white ankle socks, tattoos covering his arms and the skin under his wife beater came closer to me. A small smirk on his face. We were standing in the middle of the garage, just looking at each other.
I gulped. I wasn’t seeing what I was seeing. I was in a dream. One of the fairytales that Lainey and I had made up when we were younger, where there was a prince, and the princess got her most desired dreams. I wheezed. My body felt traumatized, adrenaline rushing through me, so much that I couldn’t think. I felt weak. I gulped as he approached, and I just stared at him. It was Jack. His beauty was more profound. Now, his long blond hair was gone, although it was still really blond, with a hint of strawberry, cut short. But it was him... My thoughts returned as he tried to hide his smirk.
Money… I recalled to myself. Oh, my Gawd! Why didn’t I remember that?
“Did you hear me? Did you fuck Jew?” he asked, getting frustrated.
“Jack,” I
said, all breathy. I couldn’t even answer.
“Nah, I’m just playing. Ant said Trey beat his ass,” he chuckled. His laugh was different; his smile was almost the same, though there were just slight differences.
“Jack,” I repeated. I couldn’t feel my legs. I couldn’t feel anything. This had to be a dream. After all that hoping, thinking, dreaming and crying about Jack, and fucking myself with a fucking screwdriver just to get the feeling that he was even real. And there he was, standing right in front of me, my brother’s friend.
So many things went through my mind. What if he didn’t like me anymore? What if he found out about Chad? What if he found out about Dylan? What if he had a girlfriend, and she was prettier than me? What if he didn’t remember me? In that moment, I thought about all the worst things. And even when I went to speak again, I couldn’t say anything else.
“Jack,” I whispered.
“It’s Money...” he replied.
“A-y…You’ll always be Jack to me,” I said as he came closer to me. I just stared at him. I couldn’t do anything but stare into his eyes. They were still as blue as ever, as perfect as perfect could be. The true meaning of blue was the color of his eyes. I swallowed my words, my thoughts, and my feelings as he got closer to me.
“This is where you went?” I asked.
“What?” He frowned.
“I-I…went down the house. You weren’t there,” I explained. “There was some chick and her eight hundred babies.”
“Yeah, I don’t know who moved in there when we left,” he said.
“Jack…”
“Mom got a new job,” he shrugged.” I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. This isn’t Shiloh. What are you doing here?”
“Jack…”
“You just keep saying Jack,” he said, clearly enjoying my inability to speak in his presence. “Are you going to say anything else? I knew it was you the first time you dropped Trey off. I knew it was you.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I asked him.
“I don’t know, I guess I was…I don’t know.” He shrugged again.
He moved closer to me. We were now standing within inches of each other. I wanted him to kiss me. Okay, I’m not gonna lie; I wanted him to fuck me, right then, right there. But I wanted him to kiss me, too. I had never been kissed by the grownup Jack. I wanted to see if it was as good, or if it was awful because then I wouldn’t have to be in love with a dream.
I studied him. His lips, they were thinner than mine. They always have been. And they were pink like a grapefruit. I wished I could scream out, “Kiss me,” but I didn’t know what he wanted to do, or even if he wanted to see the new me and have the new me as much as I wanted to have the new him. I wanted him so bad. The only boy who could take that little boy Jack out of my mind was the man Jack. It made perfect sense to me. I got restless just standing there, not saying anything. I had to touch him, so I ran my index finger down the middle of his wife beater. We both watched me do so.
“You’re still skinny,” I murmured.
“You too.” He smiled.
“Jack…”
He didn’t let me say it again. He just did it, he kissed me, and it was good. Better than when we were kids. It wasn’t long, just enough to let me know that he wanted to kiss me. I didn’t really know what to say, so I said nothing about the kiss, I just said my next thought.
“You dyed your hair?” I asked.
“I bleached it.” He cheesed.
The door from the house into the garage opened.
“Jackie, where’s the…” his mother said, standing in the doorway, looking at me with big eyes. She looked to either side of her in disbelief.
“I don’t believe it…Katie-Cakes?” she gasped.
“Hi Stephanie,” I said sweetly.
“You found his ass.” She smiled and tilted her head to the left in disbelief, and stepped down the stairs to hug me.
“What’re you doing here?” she asked me.
“Uhm, Trey’s my brother,” I explained.
“What?” Stephanie looked back and forth between Jack and I.
“Yeah,” I nodded. Jack put his arm around me.
“Well…come on in, I mean…wow. Katie…I just can’t believe it!” She shook her head.
We walked inside of their house, and Jack grabbed my hand. I looked at him because it was like we had never been apart. It’s funny, I didn’t feel like I needed him to fuck me. I was fine. Completely fine. Even though I had no idea who he was, who he had become, he was still my best friend. I’m not going to lie though, I couldn’t wait to make love to him. I wanted him to always stay with me, to lay with me, to walk me to class, to be waiting at my door, and to make love to me. I had never made love.
That stuff we had done way back when, that was child’s play. I had had sex again, with Chad and Dylan, but it was nothing. At least, I hoped it was nothing, and then I began to fret.
What if that’s just what grown up sex is like, dull and uneventful? What if it doesn’t feel like anything? I also thought that maybe I should just be his friend, maybe I should just leave that perfect little boy as he was: perfect. Maybe if we had sex, it would ruin who he was to me, and I would never be able to see him the same way again. I didn’t know all that was going through my head as we sat down on the sofa. Trey and Ant and Jiggs were still all outside in the backyard, and we could hear their voices nearby, but muffled.
“So, what happened to you? I mean, after your mom drug you away?” Stephanie asked me.
“I went to Dodges,” I replied.
“I got a buddy over there,” Jack said.
“Oh,” I said, looking at him. “And I graduated, and then I started going to college.”
“Damn, you’re in college?” Jack asked me, impressed.
“Can you make him go to college, get a job, something?” Jack’s mom grinned. I laughed.
“Trey was in juvy when I got him out. Since then, it’s just been me and him. I ran away a lot when I first…” I struggled to say.
“Hot Rod…” Jack said softly. My heart dropped at that. Hot Rod. I almost moaned as I gulped and looked longingly at Jack. I missed that. I hated it for so long, and now it was like angels singing. Jack smiled. I think it made him feel good that he could make me feel like that after so long.
“So, you working?” Stephanie asked me, breaking into our moment.
“Yeah, I work at the bookstore, but you got a new job?” I said.
“Yep, sure did, at the hospital. Pays way better, and Jackie’s daddy, the good-for-nothing son of a bitch, actually came through,” she stated bluntly.
“What’d he do?” I asked.
“He died.” I was speechless. She didn’t seem to notice.
“He left us a little bit of money,” she explained. “So, the house is paid off, cuz even on the salary I make, we couldn’t afford this. But yeah.” She grinned at me.
Jack and I smiled awkwardly at each other for a moment.
“Well, I bet you guys wanna catch up. I’ll just go out there with the boys. I still can’t believe it. Katie-Cakes. What you say? You’re gonna find his ass one way or another,” she said, shaking her head as she was walking toward the kitchen door that led to the backyard.
When the door slammed shut behind her, Jack grabbed my hand and smiled at me. He stood, pulling me up from the couch and led me straight to his room. He opened the door and guided me in.
“Nice room.” I smiled, looking it over. It seemed like there was some type of gun on every surface. On the night stand by his bed, there was an unwrapped Black and Mild, a black handgun, and a lamp. On his dresser there was a smaller hand gun, just lying there. In the corner on the wall laying on what looked like a safe against the wall was another .45.
“Yeah,” he said as he grinned.
“Jack…” I murmured.
“Yeah?” He noticed me looking at the three guns that were out and exposed. “They’re not loaded, Hot Rod.”
“Why do
you have them?” I asked, turning sharply to him.
“I just like’em. I don’t really use’em.” He shrugged. I nodded. I was okay with that.
“I missed you so much,” I told him. He didn’t say anything. I sat down on his bed, and he sat down beside me.
“I missed you, too,” he said, kissing my neck. It was different. I mean, lots of guys kissed me just like that, in the same place, probably doing the exactly same thing. But it didn’t feel like Jack. Jack felt like fire on my skin, the good fire, like when endorphins release into your veins. I grabbed his neck.
“Whoa.” He beamed at me.
I kissed him as I scooted up against the headboard, and he followed me.
“So, we’re just gonna have sex? I haven’t seen you in…how long? And we’re just gonna have sex?” he asked, clearly pleased.
“Yes, is that bad?” I asked.
“I don’t know.” He laughed.
“Jack…” I don’t know why I felt like I needed to tell him.
“What?” he asked. I licked my lips.
“I have something to tell you,” I said.
“I got a baby?” he asked.
“No.” I grimaced.
“Uhm…” He cocked an eyebrow. “Do you have a baby by someone else?”
“No…” I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t really find the words to tell him, so I had to lead up to it. “Do you masturbate a lot?”
“What?” Jack said, jerking his head back with a confused frown on his face. He looked me over suspiciously. “What kind of question is that?”
“Guys masturbate all the time,” I pointed out.
“Exactly,” Jack agreed. I gulped. He looked a little closer at me.
“Hot Rod, do you…masturbate a lot? he asked. I sighed heavily.
“Well, I didn’t before, but like…since I’ve been back,” I paused and lowered my gaze to the floor. “Yeah…a lot.”
“You know that’s okay,” Jack assured me with confidence. “It’s actually kinda hot. What do you use?” Jack smirked, waiting to be more turned on than he already was. I swallowed again, my throat dry. I pressed my lips together and sighed.