‘You smell beautiful.’ His husky voice was as sexy as his caress and the temptation of his body pressing her from behind sent her senses spinning.
She turned in his arms, winding her arms around his neck, and gave him a teasing smile. ‘You’re not bored with me yet?’
He brushed her lips with his. ‘Not yet. You?’
Never. Holly pressed herself closer, her body aching for his possession. ‘Not yet.’
‘Good.’ He kissed her again, a leisurely kiss that was both tender and passionate, his tongue mating with hers in a slow dance that made her blood race and her legs weaken. He gathered her closer, the hard ridge of his erection stirring her body into a fevered response. He tugged away her towel and tossed it aside. She removed his underwear and they came back together, skin on skin.
He lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bedroom, laying her down on the bed and coming down beside her. He kissed his way from her mouth to her breasts, leaving a trail of fire in his wake. Her skin tingled and tightened with the torturous pleasure of his touch. Need spiralled through her, a tight aching need that begged to be assuaged. He took his time caressing her breasts, suckling on her nipples, teasing the pink areoles and then taking his mouth lower to the swollen heart of her body.
It was a slow and deliberate torture. He kept her hanging on the edge of bliss, pulling back time and time again until she was begging, sobbing, pleading shamelessly for release. ‘Now. Now. Now.’
He moved back over her and entered her in a deep thrust that made her gasp in delight. At last. At last. At last. But, unlike the other times he’d made love to her, he took his time, his movements within her body slow, deliberately, torturously slow, until she was clawing at his back and shoulders, digging her hands into his buttocks, urging him on like a sex-crazed addict.
He brought his mouth back to hers in a drugging kiss that made the roots of her hair lift away from her scalp. He kept thrusting, deeply but slowly, ramping up her need to a level she hadn’t experienced before. She would die if he didn’t make her come. She would chain him to the bed and have her wicked way with him. For weeks. Months. Years.
For ever.
Holly stiffened. No. Not for ever. He didn’t want for ever.
Zack stilled his movements and frowned. ‘Did I hurt you?’
She let out a shaky breath. ‘No. But I’m going to kill you if you don’t make me come.’
His smile made something in her belly swoop. ‘You’re always in such a rush, sweetheart. Slow is much better.’
Holly fisted her hands in his hair. ‘I want you. I’m going crazy here.’
He began thrusting again, gradually building up his pace, each movement stoking the fire of her need. She moved with him, urging him with each upward movement of her body, aching for the moment when she would fly free.
And then finally, finally he slipped a hand between their sweat-slicked bodies and took her over the edge. She was swept up into an earth-shattering orgasm, the spasms rippling through her in pulsating waves. Just when she thought it was over, he would caress her again and the pleasure would return more intensely, each ripple and spasm making her cry out in ecstasy. She thought she was going to lose consciousness. Surely it wasn’t possible to feel such mind-blowing pleasure? It took over her entire body, her limbs, her torso, her inner core alive with sensation. Tingling, tantalising sensations that made her wonder if she would survive such a sensual onslaught.
Zack continued thrusting, building to his own release, and Holly held him as he tensed and then shuddered through it, each pumping action sending another wave of sensation through her flesh. He collapsed over her, his breathing laboured, his essence warm and damp between her legs.
Holly lay with him for long silent minutes, thinking about that baby back in the café. If she and Zack were in a committed and long-term relationship, making a baby together would be the perfectly normal thing to do. She pictured their baby, a tiny boy with dark hair and sapphire-blue eyes—or maybe a little girl with chestnut hair... Okay, okay, red hair and pale skin and brown eyes.
But how could she have a baby with a man who didn’t want to be with her for ever? A man who didn’t believe in the fairy tale, who was so cynical about relationships he actively avoided being with someone longer than a month or six weeks at most?
How could she settle for a temporary ‘engagement’ with him when she wanted more? So much more. She wanted what her parents had. She wanted what her sisters had. She wanted love that lasted. Love that would ride out the tough and the tender, the happy times and the sad. She wanted her dream wedding, stating those sacred vows to the man she loved, and hearing him say them to her, making promises she had longed to hear all of her life. The promise to love and protect and to worship her with his body.
Zack had offered her his body but it was all he was prepared to give her. She wanted more—she wanted a man who would willingly and unreservedly open his heart to her. Zack wasn’t that man, so why was she wasting time wishing and hoping he was? He had made it clear what he wanted out of their relationship. And it wasn’t enough for her. Not now that she had come to her senses and realised what she wanted more than anything else.
Zack shifted his weight, rolling onto his side, and looked at her with a glinting smile. ‘What did I tell you? Slow is much better.’
Holly gave him a fleeting smile that was little more than a twitch of her lips. ‘You’re very good at this stuff.’ At making me perilously close to falling in love with you.
His smile faded and a small frown appeared between his eyebrows. He drew in a breath and brushed her hair back from her forehead. ‘Is everything okay, sweetheart?’
Sweetheart. Oh, how she wished she truly were his sweetheart. His soul mate. The person he had opened his heart to. But they were just empty words he used—they didn’t mean anything. How could they when his heart was securely locked away?
Holly pushed away from him and got off the bed and picked up her discarded towel and wrapped it sarong-like around her body. She couldn’t think straight with him holding her. Tempting her.
No. It was crunch time. It was time to be honest about her feelings. She couldn’t continue any other way. It wasn’t honest. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t dignified to go on pretending.
‘Holly, darling—what’s wrong?’ He got off the bed in one movement and came to her, his hands on her upper arms, his touch gentle, concern etched on his face.
Holly squeezed back the sting of tears at his use of the word darling. She didn’t want to do the weepy-lover thing. She had too much pride. ‘You call me such wonderful endearments. Sweetheart, darling, sweetie, but they’re just words to you. They don’t mean anything, do they?’
His frown carved deeper into his forehead. ‘What are you talking about? We’re in an intimate relationship. What’s wrong with me using endearments?’
‘We’re in a relationship with a clock ticking, that’s why,’ Holly said. ‘That’s not what I’d call intimate. You don’t want what I want. What I’ve always wanted.’
His hands fell away from her arms and he picked up his towel and wrapped it around his hips. His movements were slow, measured and unnaturally calm as if he was controlling his reaction. His emotions. ‘You told me you didn’t want the fairy tale.’ His voice had the same measured calm of his movements. Almost too calm. Too controlled.
Holly could feel him retreating from her and a hollow space opened in her stomach, all her hopes and dreams sucking into the abyss of despair like sand sliding into a sinkhole. ‘I know I did. But I was lying to you and to myself.’ She took a breath for courage and continued, ‘I know you said we were to keep our emotions out of this but I can’t promise that any more.’
A guarded look came into his eyes like a drawbridge slowing raised up on a fortress. ‘What are you saying?’
Holly swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. ‘I’m not
saying I’m in love with you, but I can’t go on with this fling between us because it wouldn’t be right. For me, I mean. I don’t want to get too involved with a man who isn’t capable of giving me what I want.’
His jaw worked as if he was biting down on his back molars. His eyes shifted away from hers, his hand pushing through his hair as if it was irritating him. ‘I’m sorry, sweet—I mean, Holly.’ His voice had a raw edge to it. ‘You’re saying you’re not in love and yet you want to end it? That doesn’t make sense.’
‘It makes sense to me,’ Holly said. ‘I’ve been down this road twice before and I don’t want to go down it again. I don’t want to get hurt. You have the potential to hurt me if I fall in love with you.’
‘Then don’t fall in love with me. Simple.’ He gave a mirthless laugh as if even he wasn’t entirely convinced his suggestion would work.
‘Zack, listen to me.’ Holly held his gaze. ‘You’ve always insisted you don’t want marriage and kids. I’ve realised I do want those things. I want them so much it hurts. Holding that baby earlier today was like torture. I can’t bear the thought of never having my own family. I’ve been raised in a loving family and I want to do the same for my kids if I’m so lucky to have them.’
‘Look, you can have a family in a year or two with someone else, surely? What’s the rush? You’re still young and—’
‘I’m not prepared to waste any more time with going-nowhere relationships.’ Holly turned away to compose herself. The longer she looked at him the harder it was to stay strong. ‘I know this is hard, me springing this on you like this, but I would feel like I was compromising everything I hold dear by staying with you this week. I can’t be in a fling when I want for ever. I don’t want to get hurt, and you, Zack, have the potential to hurt me more than anyone has done in the past.’
His hands came down on her shoulders and he turned her to face him. ‘It was never my intention to hurt you.’ His dark blue gaze was worried, bleak, tortured as if the thought of inflicting pain on her was anathema to him. ‘You’re a wonderful person. An amazing person, but I told you from the start—’
‘Please don’t say it,’ Holly said, her heart contracting, squeezing the last trace of hope out of her chest like the last bit of toothpaste out of a tube. ‘I’ve had this speech twice already from both of my exes. The it’s-not-you-it’s-me speech.’
He dropped his hands from her shoulders and stepped back, using one hand to rake through his hair again. He let out a curse word not quite under his breath. He swung his gaze back to hers, his eyes accusing—wounded but on attack. ‘Why are you bringing this up now?’
Holly turned away to pull on some clothes, her movements jerky and uncoordinated as she desperately tried to keep control of her spiralling emotions. ‘I told you why. Because I would be hurting myself more by not speaking up.’
There was a brittle silence. The atmosphere so tight it felt like it would explode.
Holly set to pulling on her clothes before she changed her mind. Standing half-naked anywhere near Zack was too much for her self-control. She had to stay resolute. She had to get out while her heart was still in one piece.
‘What are you doing?’ There was a sharp note in his voice.
‘I’m getting dressed.’
‘But you’re wearing casual clothes. I’ve booked dinner and a show and dancing after that.’
Holly turned from zipping up her jeans to look at him. ‘I’m going home. Tonight. I think it’s for the best.’
‘You think?’ He almost spat the word at her, his eyes blazing. ‘No wonder your business has taken a hit if you treat an expensive trip to Paris as if it’s nothing.’
Holly mentally counted to ten. She didn’t want to turn this into a slanging match. ‘I’ll reimburse you for the money you’ve spent.’ Her stomach churned at the thought of how much she would have to repay him. First-class airfares. A penthouse suite in a luxury hotel. All those wonderful flowers—she of all people knew how much they would have cost. The designer leather jacket. The engagement ring... She looked at it glinting on her finger, as if to say, I told you so. She hadn’t listened to the bell of warning, but she was listening now. She slid the ring off her finger and handed it to him. ‘I can’t keep this. It wouldn’t be right.’
He ignored the ring sitting in the middle of her palm. ‘What about your sister’s engagement party?’
She let out a long sigh. ‘I’ll go alone. It’s what I should’ve realised well before now. I shouldn’t feel ashamed in front of my family for not being able to find a man who will love me and commit to me. If it happens it happens. All I can do is be a good person, stay true to my values and hope one day it pays off.’ She pushed the ring towards him again. ‘Please take it back.’
He pushed her hand away. ‘Keep it. Sell it. Throw it out of the window for all I care.’
Holly was tempted to do exactly that. She pictured herself walking over to the window overlooking the Jardin des Tuileries and tossing the ring to the ground below. Then she would throw out all the flowers he’d bought her, bunch by bunch, vase by vase, watching them scatter and shatter like her dreams. But instead she left the ring on the bedside table on his side of the bed. ‘I’m sorry, Zack. I know you’re upset, but—’
‘Upset?’ He gave a savage-sounding laugh. ‘I’m not upset. Do you think you have the power to hurt me?’
Holly reared back as if he’d slapped her. But then she took a deep calming breath, keeping her voice steady even though it cost her dearly. ‘No one has the power to hurt you. You won’t allow them to. That’s why you live your life the way you do. From shallow relationship to shallow relationship. A week here. A week there. A one-night stand or two and on you move.’
‘I’m fine with my life,’ he said in the same harsh tone that slashed at her like flick knives. ‘It was perfectly fine until I met you.’
‘And why is that? Because I made you feel something you don’t normally feel?’ Holly knew she was pushing him but she didn’t want to leave him unless she was absolutely sure he didn’t care for her. If he didn’t, at the very least, show some potential to love her.
Every muscle on his face tensed as if turned to marble. Frozen impenetrable marble. His eyes became shuttered, a screen rolling down until all she could see was his disdain showing through the slats. ‘I’ll call a cab for you.’
Her heart plummeted, torn from its moorings like a yacht in a vicious storm. She couldn’t breathe. Was she having a panic attack? Or was her heart breaking into a thousand pieces? ‘That would be great. Thank you.’ How had she managed to sound so calm? So damned polite?
Holly gathered the rest of her things, packing like an automaton, conscious of Zack watching her with an inscrutable expression on his face. She dawdled over folding her clothes into her bag, hoping he would have a change of mind—a change of heart.
But did he even have a heart?
Finally it was done. She was packed and ready to leave. Not ready, really. Holly would have given anything to be spending the rest of the week with him. But she couldn’t do so without losing a part of herself. A part of herself that was finally brave and honest enough to openly express what she wanted.
What she longed for with all her heart.
Zack followed her to the door of the suite, even carrying her bag for her as if he was one of the hotel’s valets and not the man who had made passionate love to her only minutes before. He was wearing a bathrobe now—he had switched it for the towel as if he needed a thicker barrier. But wasn’t that the whole problem? He had barriers up. Cast-iron emotional barriers that allowed no one to get through.
Holly stood at the door of the suite and held out her hand but he ignored it in the same way he’d ignored her return of his engagement ring. She sighed and dropped her hand back by her side. ‘I’m sorry it has to end this way. But if I were to fall in love with you, then things would be even mo
re—’
‘You’re not one bit sorry.’ His embittered gaze cut her to the quick. ‘You say you’re worried about falling in love with me. What sort of crazy excuse is that? You planned this from the start, didn’t you? This was your mission to get back at all the men who’d disappointed you. Your attempt to turn the tables like they’d been turned on you. The only difference being I don’t care.’
Holly had never wanted to slap someone more than at that moment. She wanted to slap him and punch him and tear his hair out by the roots. She wanted to thump him against the heart so he could feel the pain he’d inflicted on hers. It terrified her how angry she was. It shocked her. Shamed her. Shattered her. No one had hurt her more than he had at that moment. Her two cancelled weddings were nothing compared to this.
She sucked in a breath and let it out in a self-calming stream. ‘This is not about revenge. It’s about me finally being honest with myself. I can’t let myself fall in love with a man who won’t love me back.’
He opened the door as if he couldn’t wait for her to leave. ‘Have a nice flight.’ His sarcasm was the final dagger stab through her heart.
Holly picked up her bag and her dashed hopes and left.
CHAPTER TEN
ZACK CLOSED THE door on just short of a slam. He wanted to slam that door till it splintered. He wanted to punch a hole through it with his fist. He wanted to thump and thump and thump it until his hand was a bleeding pulp.
He wanted. He wanted. He wanted.
Anger rose in him like a red mist, blinding his eyes, barrelling through his chest like a runaway train. He hadn’t seen it coming. What sort of fool had he turned into? Holly had ripped the rug from under him just like his mother had done to him and his father. Blindsided him. Hurt him. And just like twenty-four years ago when his mother had left him and his father, he had been torn with the need to run to her, to beg, to plead with her to stay.
But he hadn’t.
Claimed for the Billionaire's Convenience Page 14