I started to pace in the small room.
“And what you and Danny don’t get is just how close I am to falling in that bottomless pit again.”
“What’s keeping you from falling?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I’m not sure. You. Danny. The hope Nick will find his way back. Or maybe it’s just that I fear death. So much of it around me you think I’d be okay with it, but I’m not.”
My feet stopped, and I stared at Bronx. I expected to see his judging eyes staring back at me, but it wasn’t there. Instead, I found a softness that warmed my insides.
I didn’t understand it. The feeling of him looking at me that way was overwhelming. I wanted nothing more than to get out of that room and Bronx must have sensed it.
He stood. “I’m sorry I’ve upset you.”
“It’s fine. It’s not your fault.” He was so close, I wanted to take a step back, but the sink was directly behind me.
“I won’t say another word about it.”
“Good.”
“But if you do want to ta—”
“I won’t hesitate to come to you.”
Bronx pressed his lips together tightly and nodded. “We’re good?”
“We’re perfectly good,” I said flashing him a smile that didn’t feel authentic but things were fine between Bronx and me.
All I wanted was to be done. I’d never forget Jamie, but I kind of hoped I’d never hear his name again because every time I did, it put another hole in my heart.
Instead of closing the door behind him and curling into a ball on the bathroom floor, I left it open and hung my clothes over the shower curtain rod to dry. I looked at myself in the slightly too big flannel shirt and rolled up the sleeves. I couldn’t remember a single time I’d seen my grandma in something other than flannel. It could have been ninety degrees in the middle of summer, and she would have been wearing her flannel. It was her uniform.
“Food’s ready,” Danny called. His tone was lacking the enthusiasm and excitement he’d had yesterday, and it was my fault.
I needed to apologize to Danny. After everything he’d done for me, I hadn’t treated him very well. Not to mention he was right. He’d gone through all the same things I had. If he wanted to talk, I needed to be there for him.
Danny was like a little brother to me. And a damn good one. Probably better than my actual brother had been.
After we had dinner, and after Nina and Milo turned in for the night we sat in the living room. Danny was at the window and Bronx was at the far end of the sofa. I was in my usual spot pretending to be reading.
“Danny?” I said breaking the silence. “I want to apologize.”
“For what?” he asked.
“For how I treated you earlier today. It was really shitty of me, and I’m sorry.” I set the book down on the armrest and folded my hands into my lap. “You were right. You went through a lot, and I wasn’t there for you. If you ever want to talk, I’m there for you.”
Bronx cleared his throat. “Me too.”
“Thanks, guys,” Danny said scratching the back of his head. “I was just having a moment. But I really appreciate it. Maybe someday I’ll take you up on the offer but really what I need is some sleep.”
Danny turned back toward the window and Bronx, and I exchanged a quick glance.
“I think I might be sleep deprived,” Danny said with a long yawn.
“You and me both,” Bronx said.
“Why don’t you guys hit the hay,” I said scooting forward on the sofa. “I’m not even a little bit tired.”
It was time for Bronx and Danny to exchange a glance.
“I can do it just fine,” I said clenching my fists tightly and then relaxing them. “Really.”
“Well,” Danny said stepping away from the window. “If you insist.”
“Yeah.” I stood crossing my arms but wearing a smile. It actually felt good to feel like I was doing something helpful for once. “Oh crap!”
Danny shook his head. “What is it?”
“I forgot the buckets outside.”
“I’ll help you get them,” Bronx said.
“Well, it’s still raining,” Danny said with a shrug. “We’ll get them in the morning.”
Bronx smacked the armrest before getting to his feet. “Well wake me when you need a break.”
“I will,” I said.
“I’m going to get a drink. I’ll be right up,” Danny called after Bronx when he hesitated about three steps up.
Danny patted me on the back before leaving the living room. At first, the silence made me nervous, but then I welcomed it.
Before we had the house guests when I was up alone, my thoughts overtook me. But tonight, I had control. Confidence. Maybe even more than ever before. Hopefully, it would last.
Danny moved back through the hall. When the floorboards stopped creaking, I knew he was standing still.
“Yes?” I said turning slowly. The candlelight lit up his eyes and the smile on his face.
“It’s good to see you like this,” he said so quickly the words bumped into one another. “Good night, Gwen.”
I turned back to the window unable to wipe even the smallest of smiles off my face. That was until the moment the flash of light illuminated the sky. When I saw it and felt the earth vibrating under my feet, the smile instantly vanished.
Chapter 8
I didn’t even have to tell Danny what happened. Maybe he’d seen the light through the curtain, or maybe he’d felt the ground shake. Either way, he was at my side in seconds.
“It was closer this time,” Danny said staring out of the window. The sky had gone dark again.
Another strong light flashed somewhere off to the right. It had to be several miles away, but that was just a guess.
The ground vibrated just as it had the time before. It was like a when strong thunder in a severe storm shook a house, but there was no thunderstorm at least as far as I could tell.
“What should we do?” I asked keeping my voice quiet as if whatever it was out there could hear me.
“I have no idea,” Danny said stepping away from the window again when everything turned black. He was going to wear down the carpet pile with how quickly he was pacing.
“Should I get Bronx?”
The pattern of creaks and squeaks of someone coming down the stairs let me know we didn’t have to bother to wake him.
“No need,” he said as his bare feet made their way across the living room.
If I hadn’t been so worried, I would have laughed at him in the pink robe loosely tied at the waist. He wasn’t wearing anything except for his boxers.
“How many? Just twice, right?” Bronx asked stepping in front of me and peeking out between the curtains.
“Yeah, just twice,” I said crossing my arms.
“I could feel them.” Bronx shook his head. “Hell, I saw the second one through the curtains upstairs it was so bright.”
Danny narrowed his eyes. “Only the second one?”
“The first one woke me up.”
“What should we do?” I asked stiffening my jaw.
Bronx chewed his cheek for a moment before making a slow blink. “What can we do? We wait.”
“Whatever it is… it’s coming closer,” Danny said.
“Seems that way.” Bronx looked at me and then at Danny. “Our options are to run or stay inside. So far, every attack, and I’m not saying that’s what this is, it has been better to stay inside.”
“Agreed,” I said, and Danny nodded.
Bronx looked back toward the window but didn’t move the curtain. “Not to mention we should be here. They can’t be that far off now.”
“Tomorrow?” I asked, surprised by the tinge of hopefulness in my voice.
“Maybe.” Bronx shrugged. “For now, we wait and hope it doesn’t keep moving closer.”
I sat down in the chair next to the window peering out between the curtains. Bronx was so close I could feel him next to me.
“And when it does, we can hide out in the cellar,” I said. “It’s like a bomb shelter down there. Thick walls, heavy door, plenty of supplies. Think she might even have a generator set up somehow.”
“Why aren’t we using the generator now?” Bronx asked.
“Conserve fuel,” I said with a shrug.
Bronx nodded. “Good thinking. Well, let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that.”
The rest of the night we took turns sleeping on the sofa. None of us slept for long even though the lights didn’t happen again.
The morning seemed to take forever to arrive, but when the outside light turned from black to gray, I knew it was going to be another rainy day. Bronx and Danny were up early collecting and boiling the water. I was in charge of keeping watch, and the only requirement was that I didn’t fall asleep.
I was exhausted, but there was no way my eyes would close. Even my blinks were quicker than normal.
They were still outside when the guest room door opened. Nina peeked her head out and looked around in every direction before stepping out into the hall.
Her arms were crossed as she made her way over to me. “Saw the lights again last night?”
“Yeah. Could you see them from your room?”
She nodded. “I could hear you all talking. Do you really think it’s another attack?”
“What else would it be?” I said with a shrug.
“I was afraid it wasn’t over.” Nina lowered her voice. “I don’t think it’s going to be over until we’re all dead.”
“What do you think it is? Or maybe I should say who?”
She shook her head. “No idea. Someone that didn’t like us very much. For all we know, they don’t like anyone. It could be like this everywhere.”
“Well, except for whoever is doing it.”
Nina raised a brow. “Correct but I don’t think they’re going to open their arms to survivors.” She shook her head. “We’re all on our own.”
We both turned at the small squeak in the hallway. Milo was standing there twisting his fingers together.
“Dammit,” Nina muttered looking as if she regretted her words. She forced a smile onto her face as she turned away from me and walked toward Milo with her arms outstretched. “Honey, get some more sleep. It’s still really early.”
“Are we going to die, mom?” he asked glancing at me over her shoulder.
“No, of course, we’re not going to die,” Nina said wrapping her arms around her son. He suddenly looked so small. “We’re fighters. We made it this far, we aren’t going to give up, right?”
Milo nodded his big eyes focused on me. “Like daddy.”
“Yeah. Like daddy,” Nina said placing a kiss on the top of Milo’s head. “Go on, back in the room, please.”
“Okay, mom,” Milo said flashing one last apprehensive glance before turning and heading back inside the guest room.
After the door closed, Nina sighed. “This is no place for kids.”
“Here?” I asked even though I knew she wasn’t talking about my grandma’s house.
“This world.”
“This world is no place for any of us.”
She let out a long breath before turning to me. “Is there anything I can do to help out around here?”
“I don’t think so,” I said crossing my arms as I shook my head. Danny had been managing so much that I didn’t even know what to suggest. “Danny and Bronx are taking care of the water and then they’re going to mess around with the garden if it’s not too wet. I’m good here keeping watch.”
“You sure you’re not tired?” Nina chuckled. “I actually slept a few hours last night.”
I shrugged. “Thanks, but I’m good. At least for now.”
“I could make breakfast.”
“We all already grabbed something,” I said jerking my chin toward the kitchen. “Feel free to grab something for yourself and Milo.”
She nodded. “Well, okay. If you need any help, just let me know.”
“Will do.” I turned back to the window, hoping this would be the time Nick and Blair stepped out into view, but all that was out there was gray skies.
I listened as Nina moved around the kitchen. It wasn’t long before she went back into the guest room and locked the door behind her. It was less than ten minutes when the door opened again.
I turned, but it wasn’t Nina that had come out of the room. Milo was standing in the hall with his arms hanging loosely at his sides as he stared up at me.
“Are you okay?” I said taking slow, cautious steps away from the window. Milo’s eyes were wide like a baby bunny. I was afraid if I startled him he might run away.
“Yes,” he said in a small voice. “My mom fell asleep. I’m bored.”
“Well,” I said with a shrug, “you can hang out here if you want.”
He smiled and walked slowly into the living room looking like he was afraid that something might jump out at him. Milo sat down in the middle of the couch and looked around the room.
I turned back to the window, and after a long moment, I thought I heard something behind me. I whipped my head around as was face to face with Milo.
“Don’t do that!” I said with a gasp.
“I didn’t do anything!” he said taking a step away from me.
“Oh,” I said unable to hold back my laugh. I wasn’t laughing at him although he looked uncertain about that fact. I was laughing at my reaction to Milo creeping up behind me. “You just startled me is all.”
It took a moment, but he smiled back at me. “I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s quite all right.” I cocked my head to the side slightly and look him in the eyes. He was so young… so innocent. His mom was right, he didn’t belong in this world. “You must be bored out of your mind.”
“I miss my video games.” His shoulders slumped slightly. “And my house.”
“I bet you do. I miss my home too.” I looked over at the stairs. “I used to play here when I was younger. This was my grandma’s house. There might be some old toys and games upstairs. It won’t be anything as cool as video games, but there might be some fun stuff. You want to come up with me and have a look?”
Milo grinned and nodded his head enthusiastically.
“Come on,” I said waving him toward the stairs. He followed apprehensively and stopped in the door at Nick’s room. I opened the closet door, and when he saw the bin of toys, he pushed his way in front of me and dropped to his knees.
He started digging through the toys and pulled out a box. It was an old puzzle that looked somewhat familiar. I was fairly certain Nick hadn’t ever even opened the box.
“Do you like puzzles?” I asked.
Milo shrugged. “Never put one together.”
“Never ever?”
“I don’t think so,” he said shaking his head. “At least not that I remember.”
“Oh, we so have to change that. We can start working on it together if you like.”
Milo smiled up at me and showed me a couple of small toy cars he’d found inside the bin. “Can I play with these too?”
“Sure, anything you like. I’m not going to be playing with them anymore so someone should.” I lowered my voice as if I was sharing a secret. “Don’t want the toys to get lonely, do we?”
“Were these yours?” Milo asked.
“They were my brother’s, but I played with them sometimes too.”
Milo stared at me as if waiting for me to tell him more.
“My brother is Nick. You met him, right?”
“Yeah,” Milo said with a big smile. “He’s really cool.”
I scrunched up my nose. “My brother? Cool? We must be talking about different people.”
My breath caught in my throat when I heard someone marching up the stairs. I was suddenly worried something had happened and because I left my post, I hadn’t been able to warn the others.
When I turned, Nina was standing there in the doorway. Her shoulders were r
ising and falling quickly with each rapid breath.
“Milo! What are you doing up here?” Nina said stepping into the room and grabbing his arm. She pulled him away from me as if she was worried I might harm him.
“I was just getting him some toys to play with,” I explained as I looked into her angry, bulging eyes.
“I woke up, and he wasn’t there. Milo,” she said crouching down to look him in the eye, “you can’t do that to me. I almost had a heart attack when I woke up, and you were gone.”
“I’m sorry, mom,” Milo said clutching the toy cars and the puzzle box. “She said I could play with these. Is that okay?”
Nina looked me up and down.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I should have sent him back to his room.”
“It’s okay,” she said with a fake smile. It was most definitely not okay with her. She turned back to Milo. “Sure, you can play with them. No more leaving the room without telling me. Deal?”
Milo glanced at me and then nodded. “Deal.”
I hugged myself as they walked back down the stairs. I’d only been trying to help, and Nina had made me feel like a jerk.
It didn’t matter, all I could do was shake it off and get back to my post.
Chapter 9
When I got back downstairs, Bronx stepped out of the hallway and stopped in front of me. He narrowed his eyes at me.
“I know you hate when people ask this, but is everything okay?”
“Yeah, of course,” I said with a big smile.
“You look like you’re going to puke.”
I blinked at him twice before staring at him with wide eyes.
“Oh, shit, I didn’t mean anything by that. You’re beautiful, it’s just you look like… God, I’m just making this worse, aren’t I?”
My lips tightened into a smile. I shook my head as if shaking his words away.
“It’s fine,” I said.
I debated for a second whether or not I should tell him about what happened with Nina but I decided not to. After all, I probably would have reacted the same. Maybe even worse. It would be extremely hard to take care of a child in this world, and I really couldn’t blame Nina for freaking out when she woke, and her kid was gone.
The Red Sky Series Box Set Books 1-4: A Post-Apocalyptic Survival Series Page 35