Real Vampires Get Lucky

by Gerry Bartlett

Page 48

 

  By the time the Suburban chugged into Jerry's driveway we had only about a half hour to make small talk with the ladies before we could climb the stairs to Jerry's bedroom. Just as well. Mara and Mag, with Randolph as their mirror, were trying on costumes in the den.

  "Oh, good, Jeremiah. How do we look?" Mag paraded past us in an Elizabethan gown that could have graced court. Fortunately for traditionally minded Mag, there had been several costume drama movies out lately. Don't ask how she got the gown to Austin, Texas. The woman has her ways.

  "Very elegant, Ma. Gloriana and I will keep ours as a surprise. " Jerry stared at Mara. "Interesting choice, Mara. "

  "Do you like?" She struck a pose.

  "How could I not?" Jerry grinned at me. "What do you think, Gloriana?"

  "I think Mara's been reading your diary. " Can you guess? Of course Mara was Marilyn Monroe right down to her beauty mark. She'd put on the blond wig and the cinched shirtwaist, which I swear she'd found at my shop, damn it. Had she pilfered or paid?

  You can be sure I was checking my receipts when I got a chance. Of course she'd unbuttoned the dress low enough so that cleavage spilled out like dough that had risen a bit too long. Hello, ladies.

  And who was I going to be? A princess in pants! Oh, fine. But I'd just spent the evening entertaining Jerry with some of my acrobatic moves while poor frustrated Mara had been playing dress up with his mother. And now I was about to go upstairs and see if I could squeeze in another round so I could make the downstairs chandelier shake in the dining room. Ha!

  Jerry strolled over to examine the beading on his mother's skirt, and Randolph jumped to the table next to me. He hissed in my ear.

  "Gloriana, block your thoughts, you skanky little bitch. Want to bet Mara gets him to the altar before you do? Or would you like some advice?"

  I turned to check him out. He wore a diamond collar with "Save the Kittens" spelled out in rubies.

  "Nice costume, Randy. I never knew you had such a tender heart. " Now he looked like a rat with bling.

  "Of course, Gloriana. That's why I'm willing to help you. "

  Help? This was new, but I wasn't about to ignore him. "All right, Randy. Lay it on me. "

  "Your charm to Jeremiah has always been that you've played hard to get. Don't stop now, chickadee. Clingy women are tiresome. "

  "Randolph! Are you speaking to Gloriana?" Mag had noticed.

  "Yes, Mother, she wanted to know if I could get her a costume. " Randolph laughed, which sounded more like a meow with a vibrato. "I think she should shape-shift and come as Jeremiah's pet. Remember his lambkin, dear one?"

  "Oh, yes. Jeremiah always did have a soft spot for the orphaned lambs. He raised that one by hand. " Mag smiled and showed fang.

  "It made a tasty Twelfth Night supper. "

  "Come on, Gloriana. Obviously my mother is not fit for company tonight. " Jerry held out his hand. "Good night, Mara. " I shuddered at thoughts of Jerry's lambkin in a stew pot. Since neither Mara nor Mag had bothered to speak to me, I didn't bother to say good night to them.

  It was a miracle Jerry had turned out to be such a kind and decent man. Of course I did want to keep him interested. Maybe Randolph had a point. Men like the chase. Wait. Was I listening to Randolph, whose agenda was clearly Mag's agenda? But then again, Jerry had called me "old girl" in the car. He'd been steadfast for centuries, but I'd be damned if I'd let him take me for granted.

  Of course that didn't mean I still didn't want to rattle that chandelier to get on Mara's last nerve, and to help Jerry forget about poor lambkin of course. A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

  The next evening, Valdez and I nipped across the street to drop off my sack for the kidnapper, but this time the paparazzi caught me.

  "Glory! Glory! Tell us about Israel Caine. Is it true you're pregnant?"

  "When's the wedding?"

  "Does the dog sleep with you two?"

  "Give us the scoop. Is his drinking affecting Ray's performance in bed?"

  I'd ignored all of them, but that last question stopped me in my tracks.

  "Excuse me?" I put my hand on Valdez's head. He'd practically jerked my arm out of its socket at the notion of a three-some with Ray and me. I was just grateful he hadn't decided to speak up. I turned to face the pack of photographers.

  "First, I don't discuss what goes on in my bedroom. Second, I'm not pregnant. And third, I know for a fact that Ray has quit drinking. Make that your headline. " Flashes went off until all I could see were spots and dots. At least that announcement sent the group running for the nearest place to send in their photos and news.

  "I hope Ray wanted that leaked to the press. " Valdez watched as I slipped the bag under the trash can.

  "It's good news, V. "

  "I guess. Better than thinking you and Ray are kinky enough to need a dog, even an exceptionally handsome one like moi , in your bed. "

  I sighed. How on earth was such a public figure going to function as a vampire? And if I ended up on YouTube, I would be under the same microscope-no, worse. People would be watching and waiting for me to do something incriminating. Like now, when I caught myself using vamp speed to get back across the street. Oh, this was stupid. I had the whammy if I needed it. And if things went the way I was afraid they would, I was going to be whammying every waking moment just to keep from being staked. A business owner's got to keep her business going, especially during the Christmas rush. I needed to work most nights, and my blackmailer was quiet for a few days. I took a break to go with Will to his first GA meeting, and what an emotional deal that had been. Will and I both had to come clean that we have an illness. Gamblers Anonymous doesn't put up with the "I'm cured" crap. I had my ring back from Jerry as a very concrete reminder of just how sick I'd been in Vegas too. It made it a little easier to tell Flo not to buy me those sandals I'd won with our bet. Of course she wouldn't listen. She was already studying the Nordstrom's catalog that had come in the mail just yesterday to tempt us both.

  Will was having a harder time. Buster and Sam were sports freaks and betting just seemed to be part of that scene. As his sponsor, I urged Will to tell Nathan and Ray about his problem. But Will was afraid it would make him sound weak, not the macho bodyguard image they'd signed him up for. I could see his point. Tough situation. I understood. I still hadn't told Flo either. So Will and I were on the phone a lot.

  I was staying at Jerry's, but Valdez met me in the shop each night with an update on the Ray and company situation. Of course, Will had the code to the building, but we'd had to give it to Nathan too since he had to go in and out during the day. Nate had made good use of his time, and it looked like lodgings for the crew were just about worked out. A studio had even been booked, and the band and various technical experts were supposed to arrive right after the holidays. Now it was really late and Valdez and I were alone in the shop. I was sifting through receipts looking for that shirtwaist Mara had been wearing for her Marilyn Monroe impersonation. Suddenly a credit-card receipt stopped me in my tracks.

  "Oh, my gosh! Derek sold CiCi's ermine muff last week before he left for Paris. "

  "Yeah, you didn't notice it was gone? It was locked in that glass case with CiCi's breakables over there against the wall. "

  "I guess I've been too busy to notice. " I rarely got into that case. Jerry's mother had been about the only customer with the kind of taste and cash to appreciate CiCi's high-end collectibles. "Even my little percentage represents a nice profit. " I looked at the billing information. D. L. March. Now why did that . . . "This name is on Lucky's hot list! One of the debtors she's looking for. " And I was pretty sure it was on Simon's list too. I'd pored over that one until I just about had it memorized.

  "No kidding. " Valdez came to look over my shoulder. "D. L. March. Doesn't ring a bell. But I'd say this is our somebody who just came into a wad of cash. We've got us a suspect!"

  "I'm call
ing Derek right now. You know we all use different names. Maybe he can give us a description. " I hit the speed dial on my cell phone then glanced at my watch. "Oh, great. Voice mail. It's probably already daylight in Paris. Hi, Derek, it's Glory. You sold CiCi's ermine muff last week to a D. L. March. I need to know all you've got on this person, what they looked like, if you would recognize him or her again. Even better, if they were with someone we know. I'll explain everything when I talk to you. Call me as soon as you get this message and you think we might both be awake. Love to all of you. Bye. " I closed the phone. "You know, this could be a Christmas present for someone else. But they've got to be paranormal to be on Lucky's list. Oh, this is going to drive me crazy. "

  "Wow. A breakthrough. " Valdez paced by the front door. "Took us long enough. I was sure one of the others would beat us to the cash. "

  "Us. You figuring you're in on the reward?"

  "Well, sure. I'm Tonto to your Lone Ranger. Right, kemo sabe ?"

  "I'm sure you butchered that, but, yeah, I could toss a few bucks your way. "

  "What would you do with a million? Retire from this place?"

  "I sure as hell wouldn't give it all to a freaking blackmailer. I wonder why we haven't heard anything yet?" Valdez shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe he was bluffing. Just be glad, and forget him. What would you do with a million bucks?"

  "I've got forever to plan for. It would just finally give me a nice fat emergency fund. After I bought a new car first, of course. I'm thinking a snappy new hybrid. Austin is all about living green. I love that concept. "

  "Yeah, especially since we plan to be on this planet a long, long, long time. " Valdez settled by the door. "When I'm out of this dog body, I'd like a Corvette. Yellow. Walking on all fours for almost five years has given me a real craving for some four-wheeled speed. I know it's not necessarily energy efficient, but it's a guy thing. " I grinned and shook my head. "I have to admit, you've stuck to that contract. Must be a big bonus at the end for you to be so determined not to shape-shift before then. "