by Rachel Leigh
“Where’s lover boy?” a voice comes from behind me. Only it’s no stranger. I’d know that voice anywhere.
Turning around, I walk up to him as he sits on the ground, his back pressed against the building and his feet on the ground with his knees up. “Nash. What the hell are you doing here?”
“Waiting for a ride. Figured I’d ask you and your guy friend to drop me off at the house.” He looks around, “So where is he?”
“What makes you think I’d be leaving with that douchebag?”
“I dunno, maybe because he’s rich, and goal-oriented, and everything that I’m not.” He slurs his words, but I can make them all out clear as day.
“First of all, he might be those things, but he’s also a hornball who thinks he can buy women with his money and good looks. Second, you are more of a man than he will ever be.”
Nash tsks while sweeping the air with his hands.
“Where’s blondie? I thought for sure I saw you two walk out together.”
He attempts to get up but fails, his ass crashing back down on the cement. “Almost left with her, but something kept me here.” He drapes his arms over his knees and looks up at me.
“Come on.” I stretch my hand down. “Let’s get you home.” I attempt to pull him up, but instead he pulls me down between his legs then tucks my hair behind both ears.
“Why are you so nice to me? I’m such a fuck up, Rowan.” Slitted eyes slide down to my lips as he cups my cheeks in his hands. He’s wasted, and I’m not about to take advantage of that. Even if his mouth is inviting me in.
He’s attempting to pull my mouth to his, but I resist. “We should go,” I murmur into the thin space between us.
“Kiss me,” he demands.
I turn my head to the side, looking down the dark alley. “No, not when you’re this drunk. I can’t.”
Sighing in defeat, he drops his hands to his side. Bracing my hands on his knees, I push myself off the ground then offer him my hand one more time. This time he takes it and lets me help him up. Staggering all over the place, I wrap my arm around his waist while his arm wraps around my neck. “I should have just kissed you anyway. You would have let me.” He tightens his grip, pulling my head to his shoulder.
“Maybe I would have.” I know I would have. Without a doubt. Something about Nash just sucks me in and the deeper I get, the more I’m worried I’ll never be able to get out.
I need to tell him about the death certificate coming in the mail today.
Tomorrow. I’ll tell him tomorrow.
Chapter Fourteen
Nash
One eye peeks open into the dark room when I realize the pounding in my head isn’t just from a hangover. There is in fact someone pounding on the door. I pull the blanket over my head and hope that whoever it is will just go away.
The sound of the bedroom door flying open has me ripping the blanket back off. “Nash!” Rowan gasps. “The realtor. She and a family of four are at the door.”
“Fuck.” I spring out of bed. “We aren’t supposed to be here.” Gripping my head with both hands, I growl inwardly. It feels as if all the blood in my body just shot straight to my brain. I grab a pair of sweats and a T-shirt off the floor and walk right past Rowan to the bathroom. I don’t care that they are here. If I don’t piss right now then I’ll be pissing my pants walking out the back door.
Pressing one hand on the back wall, I close my eyes for about three minutes, because that’s how long it takes. “Nash, hurry up. They are walking around the house now.” Rowan hisses from outside the bathroom door.
“I’m coming.” I give it a shake, wash my hands, and slop some toothpaste on my toothbrush then stick it in my mouth. Rowan is pacing in front of the door when I walk out with the toothbrush dangling from my mouth.
“Come on, we’ll sneak out the front and leave the door unlocked since they are out back.” I lead the way as she follows. Continuing to brush my teeth as we walk, I spit in a bush to the side of the front door as soon as we walk out.
Rowan looks at me with a snarled lip. “That’s disgusting.”
“What would be disgusting is if I didn’t brush my teeth at all.” I smirk before sticking the toothbrush back in my mouth.
We climb in the truck and shut the doors, driving away before I even get my seat belt buckled. “Can you hand me that bottled water rolling around down there?” I nod toward the passenger floorboard.
Rowan leans forward and picks it up. “This one?”
I nod with a mouthful of foam that is seeping out of my lips. With my knee held tight to the steering wheel, I twist off the cap then roll the window all the way down, spitting out my mouthful, before dumping some of the warm water in my mouth and spitting again.
Rowan chuckles. “So attractive.”
I screw the top back on and toss it behind me into the back seat. “Gotta do what I gotta do. So, where do you wanna grab breakfast?”
“You pick.”
“Lulu’s it is.” I take a sharp right without even braking or turning on my blinker.
“Maybe I should drive. You’re still probably way over the legal limit after how much you drank last night.”
“How do you know how much I drank? Were you watching me all night?” I glance over and smile.
“No, but I carried your ass in and that says enough about how intoxicated you were.”
Interesting. I don’t even remember that. Last thing I remember was scraping my back down the back of the building and waiting for her to come out with that asshole Pelton. I was fully prepared to kick his ass last night. Now, I’m thankful it didn’t come down to that. Curiosity getting the best of me, I need to know what happened with those two. He seemed to be getting up close and personal before I went outside. “What did Pelton want last night? You two looked like you were hitting it off pretty well. The bastard even tipped you a hundred.”
“It was eighty-four, and I gave it back. Apparently he thought he could pay for his way between my legs.”
My jaw ticks as I clamp my mouth shut tightly. Trying to hold back my upset, I glance out the driver’s side window. “Oh yeah, and you weren’t interested?”
“Of course I wasn’t interested.”
I brush the thoughts aside. “Good.”
“Good?” She turns her head toward me. “Would it bother you if I did go back to his hotel with him?”
“You’re a big girl. You can do whatever you want.” I pull up to the stop sign right before Lulu’s and look both ways before crossing and pulling alongside the front of the restaurant.
“You’re right. I am,” she agrees.
Truth is, if Rowan had gone back to Pelton’s room, I probably would have kicked her ass out and never talked to her again. I don’t want to care—but I do. After what happened between us a few nights ago, something changed. I’ve changed. I can’t stop thinking about her and the way it felt to be inside of her. To feel her warm breath against the skin of my neck. Her fingers trailing lines down my chest. I’m getting hard just thinking about it. I ignored her for a while, hoping the feelings would disappear. When they didn’t, I tried to drink them away. Fuck if they aren’t still there.
We go inside and grab a booth that faces the road. Rowan has been staring out the window in a daze ever since we ordered. “What’s wrong?” I ask her.
Her eyes widen as she turns to look at me. “Hmm?” She chews on the inside of her cheek.
“I asked what’s wrong. You look like you have something on your mind.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Because you always bite the inside of your cheek when you are deep in thought. Also, because you’ve been staring at nothing out the window for the last five minutes.”
“I’m fine. Just thinking about my next move.” She takes a sip of her water, peering at me over the rim of her glass.
Her face is free of makeup and she looks naturally beautiful. Even with her hair disheveled and a T-shirt that looks far too big for her. “Is t
hat my shirt?”
Looking down, she pulls the shirt out to get a look. “Oh yeah, sorry,” she shrieks. “I just grabbed it quickly this morning.”
I’m not complaining. It’s actually pretty damn sexy. Gemma used to—I stop the thought. I can’t go there. I can’t compare everything Rowan does to her sister.
God, I miss her so much.
I need to focus on the here and now. “What is your next move?” I ask. Killing two birds with one stone—curiosity and small talk.
“Well, I need to go back to my old hole in the wall apartment and pack up my things. Assuming my landlord hasn’t already done that. Before I left for the treatment center, I paid a couple months of rent, but that’s run dry and I’m sure I’m late. Then I think I’ll go stay in Arizona for a bit. I’m sure Aunt Lori would like the company.” She shrugs. “Who knows, maybe I’ll lay down some roots there.”
“Honestly, I think that’s probably a good plan.” I hate to say it. As much fun as it’s been having Rowan around, this isn’t going to last. We both know it. Whatever I’ve been feeling these past couple of weeks will disappear the minute she walks out that door. I’m not even sure I’ll ever see her again when she does leave. There is no reason for her to come back to Sunnyville, and I doubt I’ll ever visit Lori in Arizona.
Suddenly, the tension in the room becomes suffocating. Rowan looks as if she’s on the verge of tears and I’m really needing coffee before I say something else that actually makes her cry. Girls crying is the worst. Especially when it’s your fault. I’m no idiot. I know that Rowan is feeling the same way I am. The only difference is, I can shut it off. I just hope she can do the same. The waitress joins us with our food and her timing couldn’t be more perfect. She sets our plates down in front of us.
“Could we get a couple black coffees, please.”
“Of course. Anything else?”
“That’ll be all.” I smile politely.
A few minutes later the waitress returns with our coffee. Voices chatter around us. Silverware clanks against the porcelain plates as the other customers eat. Rowan picks at her pancakes, but only takes a few bites before pushing it away.
Regardless of how much I want to put this off, I know we have to have the dreaded talk. The one where I tell her that this isn’t going anywhere. She might surprise me. Maybe she doesn’t want anything more than what I’ve already given her. Maybe we can both walk away from this with our heads held high and hearts still intact. Well, as intact as they were before feelings and sexual tension erupted.
“Nash,” she says right when I’m about to open up the conversation. “I know that to you I’m just Gemma’s sister, but I need you to put that aside for a minute and tell me what you are feeling.”
Caught off guard, I’m not sure how to respond. “Well, I’ve got a massive hangover and this food is making me nauseous.” Probably not the best response. She rolls her eyes and resumes looking out the window. “I’m sorry. I’m just trying to lighten the mood. I don’t know what I’m feeling, Rowan. I like you. At least, I want to like you. But this whole situation feels like one big…” my voice trails off, unable to finish.
“Mistake.” She finishes for me. “You can say it.”
Running my hand over my forehead, I can feel the sweat beads beginning to surface. “That’s not what I mean,” I lie. “I have no regrets about what happened,” I lie again. “But we both know that nothing more can ever come of this.” I take in a deep breath. “And it can never happen again.”
Rowan looks as if I’ve just reached over the table and slapped her across the face. She begins digging in her purse. She slaps a twenty on the table and glares at me as she slides out of the booth. “Don’t you worry. It won’t,” she snaps before walking briskly out of the restaurant.
Watching her leave, I consider stopping her. But I don’t. This needed to happen. I have to let her go, and soon, I have to let her go for good. As much as it hurts, and damn it fucking hurts, she will soon be just a memory.
I take one more bite of my biscuits and gravy before holding up a finger and asking the waitress for the bill. I tuck Rowan’s twenty in the pocket of my sweats and make a mental note to give that back to her. Standing up, I feel like I’ve been hit by a bulldozer. Straight to my head and slicing through my heart.
I drove around for an hour looking for Rowan. Even went to the cemetery, but she wasn’t there. I blew Gemma a kiss and promised I’d be back soon. I figured she’d go for a little walk up and down the street and come back. I called her three times and each time it went to voicemail. She doesn’t have her car, and she doesn’t know many people in this town. Feeling defeated, I head home. The realtor and potential buyers should be long gone by now.
When I walk in the door, I half expect to see her, but the house is quiet. “Rowan,” I holler out as I drop my keys and wallet on the kitchen counter. “You here?”
Silence.
Dropping my ass down on the couch, I feel an emptiness inside. I have no idea what to do now. Not just with the future, but with the day. For the last month, Rowan has been a constant in my life. We’ve spent our days bickering, laughing, and watching movies—she’s become a friend. Now, she’s gone and I feel this void in my chest.
When the door flies open, I spring from the couch quickly, my heart suddenly awakened. “You’re here.”
She closes the door and presses her back against it. “Is that okay?”
I nod, taking slow strides toward her. “I’m sorry I hurt you.” And I mean it. Her tear-stained cheeks fill me up with guilt, only this time, it’s the guilt from causing her pain.
“You don’t have to apologize. It’s my fault.” She places the palm of her hand on my cheek, her eyes delving so deep into mine that I can feel the sadness behind them in my soul. “Your heart will always belong to my sister. I know that.” She removes her hand, kisses my cheek, and walks past me.
“Rowan, wait.” I stop her, unsure of what I’m even going to say. I have to say something. I turn around to face her with her back to me as she stands motionless in the middle of the living room. “Don’t go.”
Walking up behind her, I move the hair on her neck to the side, inhaling the skin of her neck. I watch as tiny goose bumps sweep down her arm like an uncontrollable wildfire.
“Nash, you can’t keep doing this.” She turns around. “This push and pull is making me dizzy.”
“You’re right.” I tuck her hair behind her ears. “Tell me to stop.”
She opens her mouth to speak, but no sound comes out. Instead, her eyes slide down to my lips. “I…” She fumblers over her words. “I...can’t.”
And just like that, our mouths collide. Hard, painful, yet satisfying. It’s like our lips were molded to fit together just for this moment. Just for this one brief moment where nothing else matters. Where I allow my feelings for this girl to exist.
Her head tilts instinctively to the side as her tongue slides aimlessly into my mouth, giving me a taste of sweet maple syrup. Tangling in a mess of desire with my own. I grip her ass in my hands and give her a boost up and her legs wrap around me, her ankles locking together behind my back.
Her nipples poke my chest as they strain through the fabric of my old white T-shirt she’s wearing. My eyes are closed tight, but I can see her beauty behind closed lids. So fucking beautiful—so misunderstood. I had this girl pegged all wrong. She’s fire, but she’s also the calm during a storm. She’s exactly what I needed in my life when I didn’t even know I needed it.
Time has an unusual way of giving us exactly what we need, when we didn’t even realize we needed it.
How am I ever supposed to let her go?
Carrying her into my bedroom, our mouths never part. Fusing together like drying cement on a hot summer day. We crash into the bed together. Her hands weave up my shirt and graze my skin softly, feather-like.
“Nash,” she moans into my mouth. I suck in the breaths that escape, filling my lungs with air that once filled hers.
Snaking my hand between her back and the mattress, I fist her hair in my hand, pressing her mouth harder into mine, devouring her lips. “I want you so fucking bad it hurts, Rowan.”
My dick throbs as all of the blood in my body rushes to it, giving it its own heartbeat. One that thinks and reacts for itself. One that doesn’t let me stop. Rowan’s hands begin pushing down my pants, and I don’t stop her. Instead, I help her. Pushing them further and using my foot to pry them off my ankles, I kick them to the floor.
Lifting my body up just a bit, she pushes me further until I’m up on my knees. My dick sticking straight out at her, begging for her touch. She comes forward, lifting her shirt over her head. Her breasts pop out of the cups of her push-up bra. I stroke my fingers over the skin of her cleavage, then lean forward and press my mouth to it. Tugging her bra down, I take her nipple into my mouth. She groans in pleasure as I unbutton her jeans. She pushes them down to her knees, and I lay her back before sliding them off, throwing them to the side. My shirt follows suit.
“Lie down,” she instructs me, when her hand wraps around my cock. I do as I’m told and when she begins moving her hand up and down my full length, I can already tell that I’m not going to last long.
“Turn around,” I say, knowing that I need to get her off before I come all over her face. She seems nervous, but does it anyway. With her legs on either side of my waist and her pussy in my face she looks back at me with her lips pressed together. “Haven’t you ever done this?” I ask her. She shakes her head. “Relax, baby. You’ll love it.”
Parting her bare lips, I trail the tip of my tongue up and down her, flicking it against her clit, and resume licking the length of her pussy. Her head goes down and my body jolts when she takes the head of my cock into her mouth. I pause for a moment, taking in the mind-fucking sensation when she begins fluttering at my head. One hand strokes my length while the other cups my balls. “Fuck, Rowan. Keep doing that.”