Fighting Absolution

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Fighting Absolution Page 7

by Kate McCarthy


  Good.

  I switch on the PlayStation. The green light flashes, the device whirring as I pick up the headsets and controllers. Then I turn to face him. Appearances are deceiving if we’re going by my excessive makeup and feminine clothes tonight. Little does he know, I was raised a tomboy and Call of Duty is my jam. In Advanced Warfare, my pro team is called The Black Keepers and we totally dominate.

  An evil grin lights my face, one hundred percent forgetting that I’m standing here in my unmentionables, a sexy, half-naked guy on the couch watching me. “You are going down, Tanner.”

  His answering grin is downright fire. “If you play your cards right, Murphy, you can bet your sweet ass I’ll be going down.”

  8

  JAMIE

  Hostiles have destroyed your UAV,” says the monotone female voice simulator as I manoeuvre through old ramshackle buildings in the jungle.

  “Dammit,” I mutter.

  “I’m behind you but I think someone’s in the house on your right,” Jake replies.

  He’s sitting cross-legged on the couch, wearing nothing but a pair of black boxer-briefs—I finally convinced him to get a little more comfortable—and a gaming headset. It shouldn’t be sexy, but he looks like a half-naked GI Joe. I’m sitting the same way except on the floor beside him, my back against the couch. Ten empty beer bottles litter the coffee table and rug around us, evidence of my current inebriation, which funnily enough has not affected my playing ability at all.

  We’ve been talking all night while we played. Jake use to play rugby just like Bear did, and it made me wonder if they knew each other. Not that I could ask. Jake also likes Guinness. It’s something he’s made me promise to try, telling me it’s satisfying and smooth. Kinda like going down on a girl, he said, which made me clench all over. I very much liked the idea of him doing that to me, but I didn’t quite like the image of him doing that to someone else. Jealousy much?

  He told me about the time he and his best friend since childhood, Ryan Kendall, took a small bar fridge out into the middle of nowhere, filled it with fuel, stuck an electrical detonator in it, waited for the gas to evaporate, then set it off and watched the door blow into the sky on a huge column of flame.

  “That is so ridiculously dangerous!” I told him, laughing so hard I completely missed shooting up an all-terrain vehicle and got a tree instead.

  “Completely stupid,” he agreed, laughing too.

  “I would’ve loved to see it, though.”

  “I’ll take you with us next time we decide to blow up a household appliance,” he joked, as if we were actually going to see each other again.

  I found myself telling him about Bear and how he left. And how I got so mad I set fire to the fence. “It got replaced, but I …”

  “You what?” he prompted, taking a hand from his controller to swipe his beer off the table and take a long guzzle.

  “I kept a piece of it. How stupid is that?”

  “Stupid is blowing up a fridge when you’re thirteen. Keeping that bit of fence is a memento. A reminder of how someone made you feel.”

  “Yeah, well all it does is remind me of how angry I am.”

  “At you or him?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t look too close.”

  We moved on to talking about his family, and it sounded like the type of childhood you saw in the movies. His dad, Mike, was fit from playing rugby for years at national level, getting Jake and Ryan into the sport after settling into a career of physiotherapy. His mum, Julie, worked as a personal assistant but was involved in team administration: sorting uniforms, sign-ups, and coordinating schedules. His sister, Fin, was studious, her nose always stuck inside a textbook.

  So I told him about my dad. We didn’t discuss the accident, but Jake mentioned he knew who he was. That he’d seen him fight. So I’m pretty sure he knows what happened, yet he didn’t make it into a big deal or expect me to talk about it.

  “Look out,” Jake shouts, drawing me back into the present.

  I duck down, narrowly evading a bullet, and jog through rocky terrain and muddy water, taking cover behind another building. A dog joins the scene from behind a cluster of trees on our right. My eyes narrow and a tipsy little hiccup escapes me. “I don’t think that’s one of our dogs.”

  “I don’t want to kill it.”

  “Don’t be a baby.” I open fire and blood splatters the ground, the dog decimated. I run forward, leaping over the top of its mangled carcass. “If you don’t kill them, then they just kill you.”

  “Baby, you’re so heartless!”

  “Hey, I saved your life!”

  I keep moving forward at a fast clip, and an enemy soldier climbs up onto the bridge in front of me. Bullets rain down, and he falls off the side into a bloody heap.

  “We have the advantage,” says the voice simulator.

  I whoop. “Damn straight we do.”

  We jog through jungle and more rocky terrain, guns at the ready.

  Jake yawns.

  “Nooooo, Jake. You can’t possibly be tired.”

  His voice is low and sleepy. “What’s the time?”

  “Still early,” I lie because I’m pretty sure it was two in the morning last time I checked. My eyes are burning in my head, and I’ve got nothing left in the tank, but we’re on a roll. While I’ve always played in a team, I’ve never sat down and played Call of Duty with another person like this and it’s So. Much. Fun.

  I don’t want it to end.

  “Christ, it’s three in the morning,” he exclaims, scratching at that gorgeous chest of his absentmindedly while he yawns a second time. “We should wrap this up.”

  “Not yet. We’ve still got—”

  He leans across and hits the button on the console. It powers down, the screen going black. The air stills around us, the little device beginning to tick as it starts cooling down from our epic gaming marathon.

  I gasp. “Jake, nooooo!”

  He tosses his headset and controller towards the coffee table then rises from the couch, reaching for me. “C’mon, pretty girl.”

  Despite my protests, Jake robs me of my electronics and lifts me up, putting me in a fireman’s carry over his shoulder.

  “Jake!”

  He walks off with me hanging over him like a sack of potatoes, my ass copping a light slap when I continue to protest. Then he rubs it, his big palm warm and scratchy against my half-bared cheek. “Mmm,” I moan and fall against him, giving in like a puppy being offered a treat. “Now you’re talking,” I say, blood rushing to my head.

  “Oh, you like that?” He rubs some more and heat blooms between my legs.

  Jake steps through a doorway, and then I’m falling, weightless for a single moment before my backside bounces onto a mattress beneath me. I barely get a moment to take in the room around me. The bed is plain, the sheets white, with sheer curtains billowing against an open window, leaving the air chilly. A few pairs of shorts and a couple of tee shirts dot the surrounding carpeted floor.

  He stalks across the room and slams the window shut. The curtains stop their dance. After switching off the light, he comes back to me, the light of the moon revealing the heated intent in his eyes. My heart begins to pound. This is it.

  It’s finally happening.

  Jake crawls onto the bed, and my pulse skyrockets. He snakes an arm around my middle and drags me towards him until I’m the little spoon to his big one. Then he sighs deeply. I feel his chest pushing against me as it fills with air. Then he lets it out. “Get some rest, army girl.”

  Umm, what?

  He reaches down and grabs the sheet from the end of his unmade bed. He pulls it up and over us, and then his whole body relaxes as if he can actually go to sleep right now.

  My eyes widen in the dark. I can literally feel every single inch of him against me. Every. Damn. Inch. I’m basically on fire. I’m sure my clit will explode if he so much as looks at it. And he’s going to sleep? Oh hell no.

  “Jake?”r />
  He rubs his nose against the back of my neck, breathing me in as if I smell better than a baked croissant. “Mmm?”

  “My top is seriously uncomfortable right now.” Not even a lie. The boning and hooks are digging in, and I—conveniently—need it off. “You think you can undo the hooks at the back for me?”

  “I can do that,” he says quietly.

  His fingers fiddle gently in the dark. I hold my breath as each hook releases, one by one, slowly easing my discomfit and baring my naked back to his eyes. He finishes and I grab it from the front, easing it away from my chest and tossing it towards the floor.

  Jake’s palm splays on my back like a hot brand. He rubs me up and down. “Feel better?”

  I moan. “So much better.”

  His hand explores further, across my hip and then upward, travelling along my waist and higher, until his fingers brush the underside of my boob.

  I moan again, shivers skating across my skin. How can such a simple touch feel like heaven? I want more, but I don’t know how to ask for it.

  Don’t be so timid, Jamie Murphy, I can hear Erin say in my head. Just grab his hand and put it right there on your tit, for the love of God!

  I lift my arm, intent on doing just that, but he must have taken my move as an invitation to give him better access because his hand roams higher, inch by painful, nail-biting inch, until my breast is cupped in his palm. He rubs his thumb over my hardened nipple, his hand squeezing gently, and he groans against the back of my neck.

  Holy shit. Jake Tanner has his hand on my naked boob and I. Have. Found. Nirvana.

  My entire body squirms with raging need.

  “Jamie?” His voice is low and husky. “I want to touch you so bad. Can I—”

  I roll onto my back in an instant. “Yes.”

  Jake chuckles.

  He rises up over me, hovering above, his eyes on my breasts. He lets out a breath, and they lower all the way down and back up. “You’re so incredibly beautiful.”

  “So are you.”

  Because he is. Jake Tanner is like a Greek god. His skin is like sunshine, the kind you could bask in all day and never get cold. His shoulders broad and arms strong, as if he’s the sort of person who could weather any storm and come out fighting. His teeth are white and even, biting down on his bottom lip as he studies my face.

  “I meant what I said before.”

  “You said a lot of things.”

  “Jamie. I said this should be special. With someone you care about.”

  I reach up, cupping his face in my palm.

  My heart gives a little bleat, like a baby lamb being led to slaughter. In the space of one night, this army boy has made me feel something. Something that makes me ache at the thought of leaving tomorrow.

  I care about you.

  I don’t say it aloud. Surely it’s impossible to care about someone you’ve only known for one night? He wouldn’t believe me anyway. Not after I teased him about it earlier. Jake is supposed to be my tonight, not my forever.

  “I meant what I said before too.”

  His lips curve at the corners. “You said a lot of things.”

  “Jake.” My hand skims down his neck, over his chest and lower, until I’m cupping the visible bulge in his boxer-briefs. “Fuck me. Please.”

  His nostrils flare and he shudders beneath my touch. “I like it when you say please.”

  I rub his cock over the underwear, hoping like hell it feels good for him because I have no idea what I’m doing. “Please.”

  With his palms planted on either side of me on the bed, he ducks his head and kisses me. When he draws away, I slide my hand around his neck and tug him back down, lifting my head to capture his lips. He groans and his tongue thrusts inside my mouth, his passion intense.

  I sink down as the kiss goes on, seemingly endless. He lowers himself, allowing his weight to press me into the bed. It feels better than I imagined it would. Hotter. Harder. All-consuming.

  I claw at his shoulders, fingers digging in.

  God, so good. I want to crawl inside him and never leave.

  “Please be sure,” he says against my lips before moving his mouth across my cheek and down my neck, an urgent caress that makes me shiver.

  “I’m sure. I want this.”

  Jake shifts down, his mouth travelling across my chest. He takes a nipple in his mouth, sucking deep. Sucking hard.

  My head tilts back, an involuntary gasp leaving my throat as pleasure hits, so sharp it almost hurts. Jake’s eyes flick up, watching me, eyes hungry like I’ve not yet seen before. Then he moves across to my other nipple, and I’m subjected to the same delicious torture. “Oh, you definitely like that,” he murmurs, his voice thick.

  His mouth resumes its downward trajectory until he reaches my little scrap of black lace. “These definitely need to come off.” He hooks his fingers in the sides and tugs, but they go nowhere because I’m stuck watching his arms flex, the pale glow of the moon highlighting each muscle in high-definition. “Up,” he commands.

  My butt lifts and he sweeps them down and off, throwing them over his shoulder. I shoot up and snap my thighs closed, suddenly feeling shy and exposed for some strange embarrassing reason.

  “On your back, army girl,” he demands. “And spread your legs.”

  My lungs deflate with a shaky exhale. “Jake.”

  He grins at me and rubs my thighs as if the caress is a trick that will magically open them. “You’ve got to get used to taking orders, so you may as well start now.”

  “Jake!” I drop back on my elbows. “You know very well I won’t be taking those kinds of orders.”

  His nostrils flare. “You better fucking not be.”

  His tone is growly and almost possessive. And abra-fucking-cadabra. My legs fall open and my clit throbs because I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything hotter in my life.

  “So beautiful,” he murmurs and glides his thumb through the slick heat.

  I jerk, my breath hitching. Jake looks up at my face, a slow smile forming on his lips. There’s a wealth of satisfaction in his expression. It’s wicked yet sweet, like thick melted chocolate. I tuck it deep inside my memories. It’s a look I don’t think I’ll ever forget. Not for the rest of my life.

  Then he dips his head and a kiss lands on my inner left thigh, the thick stubble on his chin scratching the soft skin.

  I fall back against the mattress, swept away in a tidal wave of fevered lust.

  A kiss lands on my inner right thigh.

  He’s killing me. “Jake,” I gasp. “Please.”

  His tongue flicks my clit, and my entire body shakes as if an earthquake just hit. I gasp and before I can recover, he does it again and again. I think I just died. Jake Tanner has his head between my legs, and I’m floating outside my body. Dead. Why did I wait so long for this?

  Jake sucks and licks me and my hips rock against his mouth. I can’t keep still.

  “You like that, army girl?”

  “Yes,” I croak, moaning, a boneless quivering mass. My sweaty palms tangle in his sheets. “I’m going to lie here while you do this for the rest of our lives. Okay?”

  He laughs against me and even the vibration tickles me in the best possible way. “Okay.”

  Then Jake pushes a thick digit inside me, and his mouth returns, sucking hard while he slides in another. And I’m done. I’m so done.

  Pleasure rushes through me like a freight train, and my back bows as I explode, an orgasm gripping me so hard I cry out. “Jake,” I pant, rubbing against his face, never knowing it could feel like this with someone. It’s so much bigger and brighter, and so much more intense. It’s fucking wonderful.

  He continues, prolonging the sensation for as long as he can. “Jake. God. So good.”

  “The best,” he says, giving me a final lick.

  My insides twitch, wringing every last drop of pleasure left in my body. “The best I’ve ever had.”

  Jake busts out laughing, his amusement
flickering bright, and it feels good being the one to bring that light to his eyes. If I was his, I’d make him laugh all the time.

  “It’s true,” I joke with a chuckle. It dies clean away as he steps back from the bed and tugs his underwear down and off. I swallow, trying not to stare but staring anyway. He’s hard everywhere.

  “You are something else,” he tells me as climbs back on, rising up over me on his hands and looking down.

  “You make me feel like something else.”

  Jake’s expression sobers, and there’s a beat of silence between us, a sense of desperation rising. As if we’ve just realised how short our time is getting. “You make me feel like something else too.”

  He watches me as he rubs his cock between my legs, through the wet swollen heat. It juts out, thick and hard, and I’m not leaving until I know what it’s like having it inside of me.

  “Fuck me?” I ask, and I swear to God it’s the last time I will. A girl can only handle so much rejection.

  Jake reaches across as if me asking enough times has finally sunk in, and he yanks open his bedside draw. He rummages through it, cursing, before finally drawing back, a square foil packet in his hand.

  A condom.

  My insides quake, sudden nerves making me sweat. “Soooo,” I drawl as he sits back on his legs, tearing the little packet open. “We’re really doing this, huh?”

  Jake pauses, looking at me as if I just kicked his puppy. “Not if you don’t want to.”

  I rear up, grasping his cock in both hands. A little too tight, I think, because he flinches. My face burns as I loosen my hold. “I want to.”

  Jake puts his hand over mine and moves it up and down, showing me how to add pressure, how to set a teasing pace. He lets go and I take control, gaining confidence, flicking my wrist at the end in a way that makes him groan. He’s so silky and hard.

  My hand is nudged away, and he rolls the condom on in quick, jerky movements. I fall back on the bed, and he hovers above me. I feel him, a sense of pressure between my legs. My eyes flick down. He’s guiding his cock inside me, pushing his way in. It’s incredibly uncomfortable.

 

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