by Beca Lewis
Shatterskin
Beca Lewis
Copyright © 2019 Beca Lewis
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.
Published by:
Perception Publishing
https://perceptionpublishing.com
This book is a work of fiction. All characters in this book are fictional. However, as a writer, I have, of course, made some of the book’s characters composites of people I have met or known.
All rights reserved.
Table of Contents
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Twenty-Five
Twenty-Six
Twenty-Seven
Twenty-Eight
Twenty-Nine
Thirty
Thirty-One
Thirty-Two
Thirty-Three
Thirty-Four
Thirty-Five
Thirty-Six
Thirty-Seven
Thirty-Eight
Thirty-Nine
Forty
Forty-One
Forty-Two
Forty-Three
Forty-Four
Forty-Five
Forty-Six
Forty-Seven
Forty-Eight
Forty-Nine
Fifty
Fifty-One
Fifty-Two
Fifty-Three
Fifty-Four
Fifty-Five
Fifty-Six
Fifty-Seven
Fifty-Eight
Fifty-Nine
Sixty
Epilogue
Author’s Note
One
It was as terrifying as standing at the open door of an airplane getting ready to jump. Or at least I imagined it would feel the same way even though I had never experienced that myself. Leaning forward and seeing the ground thousands of feet away, not knowing where the wind would blow you. Not knowing what you will find when you land.
At least people jumping out of planes got to practice, and they could see the ground. Besides they have parachutes for heaven’s sake.
What I was doing was completely different. No practice. No parachute. Can’t see where I’m going. Just step into a void. Leaping into the unknown. No visual clues. Nothing to stop me from smashing myself to bits somewhere.
Suzanne’s voice was whispering in my ear telling me to go, go, go. She was getting annoyed. She hissed at me which she had never done before. She said I was being melodramatic and it didn’t suit me at all. Just go!
I understood that she was rushing me for a reason. The portal was designed to stay open only for a few brief moments. The short time frame was necessary. It was to keep the monsters that lived in each dimension from leaping into another one.
Yes, there are monsters. Aren’t there always monsters? Sometimes they look like people, and sometimes they don’t. But letting a monster travel to a new dimension would introduce a danger to the inhabitants of that dimension, and there was a strong chance that they wouldn’t be able to defend themselves against it. It could mean the end of that world somehow.
It was like all the trees that were dying in my world. Dying because a bug, or parasite, traveled from one country to the next where there were no natural predators to stop them. One species after another of our beloved trees were leaving our earth. It was heartbreaking, but at the moment I couldn’t do anything about that problem. There were too many present ones to deal with, like leaping into a portal to someplace else.
Maybe when I came back, I could help. Suzanne told me that there might be something they would find where we were going that could stop the killing of our trees. After all, her people lived in what she described as a magnificent old growth forest.
I couldn’t wait to see it. I wanted it more than anything else in the world. Still, I couldn’t move. I couldn’t bring myself to step into the destiny that was waiting for me. Once the portal closed, it would not open again for me for a long time, if at all. Or at least that was what they told me. Sometimes I wasn’t sure if anyone was telling me the whole truth about anything.
The only thing I really knew was that I was more afraid than I had ever been. All my powers were useless. They couldn’t help me now. I was just an ordinary girl going on an adventure like no other, and if I didn’t leap soon, I might never get to go.
I had been dreaming about doing this very thing from the moment I learned about dimension traveling. I knew it was for me. I had to go. Had to. Had to. It called me. It was in my genes. It was mine to do.
And yet, I was paralyzed.
The longer I hesitated, the harder it became. It was embarrassing. For years I had been begging to be the one that went with Suzanne to her dimension. Now she was giving me a chance, and I couldn’t move.
Seconds ticked by. I felt as if I was shaking so hard that both dimensions would be experiencing an earthquake. What I was finding out was that when you are thinking about the unknown, it isn’t nearly as scary as when you are actually living it. The unknown is a mysterious, and probably a dangerous, place.
Besides, what if the portal didn’t work? I had heard whispered rumors that sometimes the gateway closes midstream, or diverts the traveler to somewhere they didn’t mean to go. Sometimes people disappear forever. Perhaps they vanished into one of the hundreds of unexplored dimensions. Or maybe they disappeared altogether because what if there were empty places? No dimensions at all? The point is, no one knows. Or at least no one was telling me.
Those whispers happened at night when everyone thought that I was asleep. Instead, I was listening at the crack of the door to every conversation.
I never slept when there were people other than my parents and brother in the house. Sometimes I listened because I had an idea that it was my job to keep guard, even though no one had ever asked me to. Besides, guard against what? It was that unknown thing again. I wasn’t afraid of monsters under the bed, or in the closet, as much as I was of what I knew to be there. I couldn’t see them. I felt them.
Sometimes I wondered if I was crazy. After all, didn’t crazy people see and feel things that others couldn’t? Or was it what Suzanne had told me, that knowing that there are things most people are not aware of did not make one crazy. It was a matter of who believes you and what you do with the knowledge.
When she uses the word knowledge, I get all goose pimply. I love knowing things, Things people already know and things most people don’t know.
That’s the other reason I listen at the crack of doors. I can’t stand people knowing things that I don’t know. It’s arrogant of me to be this way I realize. Who am I to have to know? But the fact is, I have to know.
How do things happen? How do they work? Why are they built that way? Perhaps my mom should have named me Curiosity because there is nothing I don’t want to know.
Even bad stuff. I have to find out. Which is why I have to be a dimension traveler. I have to find out what is on the other side.
“You only have seconds left, Hannah, it’s now or maybe never,” whispered Suzanne in my ear. It dawned on me that perhaps I was afraid because I didn’t know how they put the portal together.
But I would never know unless I went there and found out for myself. Anyway, Suzanne is an experienced dimension traveler, and she was going with me. Wherever we went, we would be going together. There was a kind of safety in that. Or at least I pretended that there was. Sometimes pretending is the only way through a problem.
I took a deep breath and stepped in, and then I was gone.
Two
“Zonk it,” I heard myself say as I tripped over something and fell flat on my face.
“Whoa, already swearing like a native. I bet that entrance will go down into the history of Erda. Kids will read about it and wonder how it was possible that the great, fantastic, Hannah from Earth fell on her face and started swearing,” the voice said.
“Who the ziffer are you,” I said sitting up holding my head. Perhaps I had gone crazy after all. There was no one there. No Suzanne. No one.
Besides I don’t swear, those words coming out of my mouth couldn’t be happening, if they were swear words. They sounded pretty weird for swearing. It was all a dream. I probably hadn’t even left yet.
On the other hand, it was a pretty vivid dream. My head hurt. Zounds, it hurt. There I go again, swearing weird words, even in a dream. Mom will not be happy with me. Mom. That’s it. I’ll wake up, find her, and see what she is doing. I’ll hug dad. I’ll find my little brother Ben and tell him about my dream. Maybe I’ll delay the dimension traveling until I get older. Suzanne will understand, won’t she?
I pulled myself to a standing position thinking that would wake me up, but within moments I was knocked down again by something flying right at me. A flash of red was all I saw as I fell backward. Whatever it was landed directly on top of me.
So far this was one of the weirdest dreams I had ever had. Sitting on my stomach was a miniature dinosaur, or maybe a dragon of sorts. Its huge beak was positioned directly in front of my nose. Its head looked every which way, scanning the sky, the trees. Wait, sky and trees.
Until that moment I hadn’t noticed that the sky was the same, but for all my love of trees, I had never seen trees that looked like these. Or at least trees that could do what these trees were doing. They were leaning towards me. Some were almost touching the ground as if they were listening.
When I turned to them, they straightened up. I swear, some of the trees even turned their back on me. Swiveled somehow. I started to curse and stopped myself just in case I was dreaming and was still the girl who lived in the Earth dimension. The thought that perhaps I had traveled to a new realm after all, occurred to me. Maybe in this one, I was different? Still me, but different somehow.
The dinosaur on top of me squawked and lifted off to land in one of the leaning trees. Seeing it fly I realized what it was, even though it didn’t seem possible.
I could believe that Lady, the pileated woodpecker that had befriended me on Earth, was in my dream, but how could she have dimension traveled with me? Besides, she was so big!
“You are pretty dense,” the voice said again. “But given that you smacked your head, we’ll give you a break. For now.”
Holding my head, I stood and looked around. I was in a clearing, surrounded by trees—a blue sky above me and what appeared as a meadow of sorts in front of me. I recognized some of the flowers, even though they were not quite right, somehow. That mystery would have to be solved later.
For now, I needed to figure out where I was and what I was supposed to do next.
If I did dimension travel, where was Suzanne? If there had been a portal, it was no longer there. Stumbling to a nearby rock, still holding my head, I sat down hoping to gain some perspective.
What was I supposed to do? Where was I supposed to go? Why was Lady here with me, but not Suzanne? And who spoke to me?
The rock moved, or slid, and then stopped. This is what going crazy feels like, I thought. Besides, I’m hungry. Why didn’t I think to bring food?
I knew why. I thought Suzanne would be with me. She would show me the ropes, explain the mysteries of her dimension, her realm. Take me to her friends. I would visit, and then I could go home.
“I’m afraid that going home is not possible, Hannah,” I heard Suzanne say from somewhere behind me.
I turned to see her standing by one of the trees that had been leaning towards me but was now standing as straight and rigid as any tree on Earth. I wouldn’t have known that it was Suzanne though. I had never seen her as a solid being before.
She had always visited us as a wisp of a person, sometimes as transparent as a mist, other times more substantial but with a body that trailed off, that looked like what some people called ghosts but without the white sheet.
I knew that my mother had met Suzanne as a human person before she had begun to dimension travel and I had seen pictures of Suzanne. She had been beautiful. She still was, but not the same. First, because she wasn’t wearing what she had when we stepped into the portal.
“You don’t like what I’m wearing?” the person who looked like Suzanne said. If it was Suzanne, she had transformed her flowing white and black cloak with streaks of red into more practical black leggings and a red tunic type top. Her long white hair was now short, snipped into spikes.
Like a tongue-tied teenager who knew nothing, I gaped at her. “What are you?”
Her answer was to completely disappear as Lady swooped down from the top of the tree to land on the rock I had vacated after it had started to slide.
Lady cawed at me and started off into the forest. When I didn’t move, she flew back and grabbed my hair.
“Ow-ziffer. Stop it. Okay, I’ll follow you. But will Suzanne know where we are going?”
Once again I heard laughter, more than one kind of laughter this time. It was a chorus of laughter. I spun around. The leaves of the trees were trembling. Were they laughing at me?
I had no choice. I had to follow. But in my heart, I was scared and angry. Whoever was laughing had no right to laugh. I had been deserted. And what did Suzanne, or that woman pretending to be Suzanne, mean when she said I couldn’t go home?
How dare she leave me all alone. All I had was a crazy bird. And laughing trees and a rock that didn’t act like a rock.
Perhaps this is a dream after all, and I would wake up soon, but in the meantime, I needed to know what was happening. That was my thing. after all. Didn’t mean I wasn’t still angry, though.
Three
Still holding my head, I started to follow the bird that looked like Lady into the forest until I realized what I was doing. I was following something into somewhere without questioning what was happening. It was like getting into a strange car with an unknown person. Would I ever do that? No. Even if the person looked like someone that I knew? Well, perhaps. But birds look almost alike, don’t they? So it wasn’t as if I could tell Lady from another bird just like her.
Almost too late I saw the bird fly back towards me, bent on either knocking me over again or pulling my hair. Either way, I wasn’t going to let that happen. I dropped to the ground and curled into a little ball and stayed there.
Probably looked pretty stupid, but at least I didn’t get my hair pulled. I lifted my head just a bit and saw the bird sitting on the ground in front of me. I got the distinct impression that she was not happy with me for thinking that she looked the same as other pileated woodpeckers that looked like dinosaurs or dragons.
Birds, animals, insects could tell the difference between each other, why couldn’t I? She turned her face sideways and looked directly into my eyes. Something about those eyes were f
amiliar, and at that moment I knew for sure that it was Lady from Earth who was sitting there. I reached out to touch her head, and she pulled her head back and gave me a look that I wouldn’t forget. No touching. “Okay, okay. So you’re Lady. Now, what is this place?”
I took a big breath in and smelled the woods. It smelled like the forests back home. Loamy, cool, a city of insects and animals mostly invisible unless you lived there and learned to see. Before stepping into the portal, I had been learning a little about the forest behind our house. Learning more about this forest was going to be fun. Maybe it would give me a clue as to where I was, assuming I wasn’t dreaming. Didn’t that voice say, Erda?
Screwing up my courage, I decided it was time to explore. I stood up, and for the first time since I tripped and fell on my face, I looked down at myself and screamed.
Who was this person? Was it me? What looked like my hands felt the clothes that I had on. They were not what I was wearing when I was standing in the door of the portal. I had been wearing what I always wear, like most girls my age: skinny jeans, t-shirt, and at the last minute I had grabbed my favorite soft sweater.