by Cilla Lee
As I pulled out of the drive a tear slid down my cheek, the beautiful home I shared with a man I loved hurt my heart so much it ached and I wonder if my sister felt the same way when she drove away from the same house.
**
I found a small apartment just on the outskirts of the city, it was much better than my last apartment, Wiley even had her own room. As we settled into our new life things started to go well for me, the new job I was in was a small boutique in the city and I really enjoyed it. Wiley was in a day care and life seemed good, the girls called but I just couldn’t handle it so I changing my number. This was a new start for Wiley and I and nothing was going to derail it.
**
The first month of working at Elixir was great, I got on well with my co-workers one in particular. Sandra and I where the same age and she had a son who was four months older than Wiley
“So, are we going to the fights tonight?” she asks me and I shrug
“I don’t know”
“Oh, come on, there’s supposed to be some really hot men there” she says wiggling her eyebrows at me making me smile
“No, I have Wiley”
“And I told you Mom has her, come on, I never get to go out and when my sister told me about this it seemed like fun, come on I need a night away from crying babies and snotty noses” I laugh rolling my eyes
“Fine, but I’m not looking for anyone”
“You never know” she says nudging me with her shoulder as the door to the store rings and we both look up smiling
*
As we pulled up to an old warehouse my heart started to pound “I don’t think this is a good idea”
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic” she tells me getting out of the car and I look up at the building, its one stiff gust of wind away from falling down. “Come on” she says and I get out of the car and she loops her arm in mine and we walk towards the door. The sounds of cheers can be heard as we get closer and the scene in front of me reminds me of the movie fight club. As we walk in the sounds are deafening, screams ohhs and arrs ring out and we walk through the crowd. As we get closer to the front Sandra motions to a couple of empty seats and we make our way towards them, we get the usual catcalls as we walk through the crowd one person grabbing my ass making me jump and Sandra turns to look at me. “What?” she yells in my ear the yelling so loud I can hardly hear her but I just shake my head. We sit facing a make shift ring and I look around at all of the people, the excitement on their faces as the two men in the ring punch and kick each other. “OMG look how hot they are” Sandra yells in my ears and I shake my head smiling at her, she’s practically drooling as the two men pummel each other. As a bell rings there pulled apart and one man has his hand raised and the screams are now at ear splitting levels whistles but boos among the people who aren’t happy he won. “God, I want to have his babies” Sandra says and I laugh “I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABIES!” she calls out and the guy turns and looks at her winking and she turns to me jumping up and down. “Oh my god he winked at me” she beams as I sit down as people start to calm down and two more fighters get in the ring. We watch three more fights but the sounds of the two bodies hitting each other was starting to make me sick and I tap Sandra on the arm and she looks at me “You ok?” I shake my head really wanting to get out of here
“No, let’s go” she looks at the two fighters nodding
“Ok.” We make our way through the crowd again and once again I’m grabbed on the ass. I push Sandra faster through the crowd so we can get the hell out of here, as we make it outside my ears are ringing going from the screaming and yelling to the quietness of the night. Sandra starts going on about the fights when someone whistles and we turn around and see the first fighter we saw tonight walking towards us
“Hey darlin’” he says and even through the darkness of the night I can see she’s blushing
“Hey yourself” she says squeezing my hand
“You wanna party?”
“Party!” she squeaks and he nods
“Yep, with me and my Brothers.” As soon as he says Brothers I look at him closely and notice a leather vest but can’t make out the club emblem
“Sandra lets go” I tell her but she doesn’t budge (please don’t be The Devils Soldiers)
“What’s your name?” she asks him as he pulls her to him and I think of Socket doing that to me and my heart aches at the memory of him
“Sandra, what’s yours?” he leans down like he’s going to kiss her
“Rex” he says and he moves and I see The Devils Soldiers emblem
“Sandra” I say and she turns looking at me, her look begging me to have a bit of fun and I roll my eyes and she smiles knowing I’m going to give in.
****
Socket
As I sit at the bar again Lila’s standing next to me and all the old ladies walk in, they all walk straight past me ignorin’ me. Since I left the house I haven’t looked back, and when all the old ladies found out that I’d left Dove they haven’t said a word to me which was fine with me. I didn’t want to know what the fuck Dove was doing (liar), Lila rubs her tits on my arm and I turn pullin’ her to me and kiss her and I hear someone gag and look up seein’ Abbey staring at me
“You got somethin’ to say?”
“Yeah, you’re an asshole” she says and I hear Tank call out her name and she walks off giving me the finger
“I don’t think she likes you very much” Lila says and I look at her
“I don’t give a fuck” I tell her and she smiles, the past three months I’ve tried to get Dove out of my system. I’ve fucked every whore hear multiple times, but when it comes down to gettin’ my dick up the only way he even twitches, is if I imagine Dove under me (fuck I miss her). Lila licks my neck and I close my eyes (I wonder what she’s doin’) she’s probably at home doin’ washin’ (stop thinkin’ about her) I look at the clock, 5.30 she’s probably startin’ dinner, Niya walks past and I turn and look at her
“Hey Niya girl” she stops and looks at me than at Lila
“Yes” is all she says
“How are you?”
“Fine”
“Just fine?”
“Yep” she goes to walk off but I grab her arm
“How’s Dove?” I ask her my heart achin’ just sayin’ her name but Niya frowns at me shaking her head
“I have no idea” she says and now I’m frowning at her
“What the fuck do you mean you don’t know?” she pulls her arm free looking at it like its diseased
“Like I said I don’t know”
“Niya”
“Socket”
“Why don’t you know how Dove is?” she shakes her head again and shrugs her shoulders
“After she left she changed her number so I have no idea how she is” I stand up confused at what she just said
“What the fuck do you mean after she left?”
“Socket, Dove and Wiley have been gone for over a month”
“What?” she rolls her eyes at me
“She moved Socket, she’s gone and we have no idea where she went. After she left she changed her number and we haven’t heard from her”
“Why didn’t anyone fuckin’ tell me she left?”
“You didn’t want to know and every time one of us brought up Dove you walked away”
“Where the fuck did she go?” she shrugs her shoulders
“Niya I mean it, where the fuck did she go?”
“I don’t know Socket” she says and the others start to come through the doors and I look at them all
“Do any of you know where she went?” I ask them and they all shake their heads and I turn around and look for Cuff
“Where’s Cuff?”
“In his room with Bliss” Lila says and I walk past them all down the hall to Cuff’s room and open the door
“Brother what the fuck?” he says
“I need you to find Dove” he pulls out of Bliss and faces me
“What the
fuck do you mean find her, isn’t she at yours?” I shake my head
“Apparently not, now put ya dick away and find my women” I tell him walkin’ out to my bike to go and see for myself if she’s really gone.
Chapter Forty
Dove
As I pull into the compound of The Devils Soldiers Oregon Chapter my heart is racing “Oh my god look at all of these bikers” Sandra sings in excitement but I look around hoping no one from home is here, I know the guys always travel to other Chapters when there doing business. The girls telling me about all of the other Chapters the Devils Soldiers have, I should have known I would have run into them at one time or another. Sandra gets out of the car as the Rex guy walks up and she smiles at him “It’s definitely the leather jacket” I whisper to myself as I get out of the car
“Stay with me darlin’” Rex says and I nod. The place looks like the compound at home and I feel a tear slide down my face and I wipe it away fast so no one sees. I follow Sandra and Rex into the clubhouse and look around, it’s the same layout pool table sofas stage huge bar naked women (yep exactly the same) we make our way to the bar and Rex turns to me “What are ya drinkin’?”
“Tequila” I say and he smiles
“My kinda women” he says and Sandra looks at me (she has no idea) he hands me the shot and I shoot it down needing all the liquid courage I can get
“Another” I ask and he smiles
“Definingly my kinda women.” I roll my eyes at him thinking of Cookie and how much of a flirt he is and I smile, we sit drinking for a few hours Rex introducing us to the other members and some women when I’m grabbed around the waist and lifted up and I scream. I hear a woman laughing as I’m placed back on my feet and turn around to see Scythe and Widow staring at me (fuck)
“Dove” they both say and the group we were talking to turns to look at me
“You know her?” Rex says and they both nod their heads
“We do” they both say and I take another shot
“Bitch where the fuck, have you been?” Widow asks and I look around and notice we’ve now got an audience
“I’ve been here”
“And what about Socket?”
“You know Socket” Bear asks me
“Yes, she knows Socket, she’s his old lady” Scythe says
“You’re an old lady” he asks and I shake my head
“No, I’m not”
“Like fuck” Scythe says
“Dove” Widow says and all of the liquid courage has me standing up for myself
“Widow, he left me and his daughter so don’t tell me I’m his old lady, I stopped being his the second he abandoned us”
“Dove he loves you” I laugh looking around and the whores come to mind
“Tell me, has he been fucking the whores” they both look at each other and I smile
“See, he couldn’t give to fucks about me or Wiley, so Socket can go fuck all the whores he wants because he’s never getting between my legs ever again”
“Can I” someone yells and I turn and look at a tall Blonde guy and I nod
“Maybe”
“Fuck off Magic she’s taken” Scythe says walking off
“Dove” Widow says but I run after Scythe as he puts his phone to his ear and I grab it before the call can go through
“Dove what the fuck?” he says looking down at me
“Please don’t”
“Dove, Socket’s my Brother”
“I know but please, I’m starting a new life”
“Dove”
“Scythe he left me, me and Wiley he probably doesn’t even know I’m gone” he looks at Widow who’s shaking her head
“Baby” he says
“She’s right Scythe, Socket left her, so he doesn’t have the right to say anything”
“Wiley’s a Devil baby, I can’t ignore that shit”
“Please” I beg both of them
“I tell you what, if we get back and he doesn’t know your gone we won’t say anything, but if he’s lookin’ for you where gonna tell him” he says and I nod
“Ok”
“Alright, I need a fuckin’ drink” Scythe says and I spend the rest of the night with my two friends who I have missed so much.
Chapter Forty-One
Socket
I pace behind Cuff as he does his computer thing “Brother if you don’t fuck off I’m closing this and goin’ back to fuckin’ Bliss”
“Cuff don’t be an asshole”
“Then fuck off and let me do my thing”
“Fine”
After I left the clubhouse to see if the women where lying, when I got to the house it was empty, all of Dove and the kids’ shit was gone. I look around to see if she left a letter but there was nothin’. I pick up the little teddy bear that was on the coffee table and stare at it. I know this is all my fault and a tear slides down my cheek, I’ve missed her every fuckin’ minute of the day every day since I left. I would lay in bed at night thinkin’ about her and everything in me screaming to stop bein’ a fuckhead and come home and hold her. I wanted to ride past or make some excuse to come over but I never did and now the house was empty again. Except this time my heart ached for her, I hold the bear to my chest Wiley’s bright blue eyes comin’ to mind. “Fuck I even miss the kid” I tell an empty house sitting back lookin’ up at the ceiling, I stood back up and headed back to the clubhouse to Cuff.
As I sat at the bar, Chase hands me a beer. The cold liquid sliding down my throat but it doesn’t bring any solace (I need my fuckin’ women back) Cuff comes walkin’ in but I see he’s not lookin’ happy and I stand up
“Well?”
“She’s in Seattle”
“What?”
“Yeah, she got a job at a clothing store”
“And the kid?”
“Wiley’s in day care”
“Does she work every day?”
“Yeah Monday to Friday” Scythe and Widow walk in kissing and they both look at me
“You ok?” Scythe asks me but I shake my head
“No, fuckin’ Dove’s gone” I say and they both look at each other “What?” I ask them
“Socket, we seen Dove last night”
“What the fuck do you mean you saw her last night?”
“At the Oregon Chapter man, she was there with a friend” I throw my beer I had and it hits the walls smashing everywhere
“What the fuck do you mean she was at the Oregon clubhouse?” they both nod
“Yeah look man, she wants to start a new life”
“With who? fuckin’ Bear or Magic” I say laughin’ but I see Widow bite her lip “What the fuck happened?”
“Nothin’ Magic just propositioned her”
“That fuckin’ cunt”
“Chill, he didn’t do anything and she left a few hours later”
“By herself?”
“Yes, we walked her to her car” I turn and look at Cuff
“She workin’ today” I ask him and he nods
“Yep, why?”
“You got the day care info” he nods “Text it to me” I walk towards the door and Scythe grabs my arm stopping me
“Brother” he says and I pull my arm out of his grip and head to my bike.
*
As I get out of my truck I head into the day-care centre, screaming kids run around and the women looks up and me smiling “Can I help you?”
“Yeah I’m here to pick up my daughter” I tell her
“Oh, which one is your daughter”
“Wiley” I tell her and she looks at me again
“Oh, is there something wrong with Dove?”
“No, she’s just stuck at work and asked if I could pick her up”
“Are you on her list of names to pick her up” I nod hoping that Cuff hacked into it right and added my name
“Yep”
“Your name?”
“Socket” I tell her and she walks over to her computer playing with the mouse than
looks up smiling
“Your Wiley’s father” I nod
“I am”
“Well, she’s sleeping at the moment do you want me to wake her?”
“Yes please” I follow her through the rooms when she stops at a nursery full of cots, she walks in slowly and I watch as she leans down pickin’ up the kid (fuck she’s grown). She walks over handing her to me and her little eyes look up at me (Wiley) her beautiful blue eyes so much like Dove’s
“Do you need any help?”
“No thank you” I take the bag she has for her and I take her out to my truck and strap her into her new car seat that I just bought.
Chapter Forty-Two
Dove
I walk out of work my back aching from being on my feet all day, the second I sit in my car I take a deep breath. One of the springs stick into my side but I just move over a bit starting the engine, it takes a couple of goes but it finally kicks to life and I back out of my space and head to the day-care centre to pick Wiley up. As I get out of the car I see one of the women staring at me and I walk inside where I see the reception women standing, when she sees me she frowns walking over to me “Dove did I forget to give Wiley something” she says and I look at her
“What?”
“The gentlemen who picked Wiley up did I forget to give him something” I shake my head confused at her
“What gentleman?” I ask her
“Wiley’s father, Socket” she says and I start to panic looking around
“What do you mean? Socket picked her up?” one of the other women come over
“Is there a problem?” and I look at her
“You let him just take her!”
“He was on the list of names as a pick up, I just assumed he was here to collect her”
“YOU ASSUMED! YOU ASSUMED!” I yell and she steps away from me as my heart starts to beat so fast at the thought of Socket taking her
“Miss Baker please” she says but I run out of the centre grabbing my bag, I hit Socket’s number and it rings out so I call it again