by J. S. Cooper
“What’s that?”
“And I know it’s not because you like being in the wild.”
“What is it, then?”
“You want to be on Survivor because you have a crush on Jeff Probst.”
“I do not have a crush on Jeff Probst!” I retorted.
“Yes, you do. He was your first celebrity crush, and I’m sure that you still love him.”
“Okay,” I admitted. “I do think he’s hot, and yes, I would love to be on Survivor, and yes, it’s not because I can make a fire and I want to rough it in the wild, it’s because I would love a chance to go to fire and stare into his big brown eyes.”
“Are you sure he has brown eyes?”
“Blue? Green? Okay, I don’t actually know,” I admitted.
“And yet you love him.”
“I never said I love him. I have a crush on him. And I mean, he’s a celebrity on a reality TV show. We don’t see his face that close up.”
“Okay,” he turned away from me quickly, “can you tell me what color my eyes are, Birdie?”
“What are you talking about? You have blue eyes.”
“Okay. Just checking.” He looked back at me, his blue eyes dazzling, then started laughing.
“What’s so funny?”
“I’m just happy,” he said.
“Why are you happy?”
“Because obviously, you care about me more than you care about Jeff Probst.”
“What are you talking about, Hunter?”
“You can remember the color of my eyes, and you don’t know the color of his.”
I started laughing. “I’m sure if I dated Jeff Probst, I’d know the color of his eyes.”
“True. I’m sure if you’d ridden him a couple of times and stared into his eyes, you’d remember, just like you remember mine.”
“Hunter!” I hit him in the arm. “You’re really too much, you know that, right?”
“That’s what all the girls tell me.”
“Really? That’s what all the girls tell you?” I rolled my eyes. “Figures.”
“It’s just a figure of speech, Birdie. There aren’t many girls.”
“Yeah. I guess there aren’t that many guys for me, either.”
The smile on his face faded. “So how many guys are there in your life right now?”
I shrugged. “Are you talking this week or last week?”
“Really, Birdie?” He peered into my eyes trying to figure out if I’m telling the truth.
“Really, Hunter?”
“So you’re telling me that you’re dating a lot?”
“I go on dates, yeah. Why wouldn’t I?”
“I mean, yeah, you’re a beautiful, attractive, smart, intelligent, funny woman. I just thought …” He shook his head.
“You just thought what? That I’d be single for the rest of my life because we broke up?”
“I’m not trying to argue, Birdie, and that’s not what I’m trying to say.”
“Okay, because that would be absolutely ridiculous.”
“Yes, it would be ridiculous,” he grumbled. “So tell me about the guys that you’re dating.”
“Oh my God, really?” I looked over at Nellie. “Hey, Nellie!”
“Yeah, Birdie?”
“How are you liking San Francisco so far?”
“I’m loving it. I’m thinking I might want to move here,” she said with a grin.
“Really, Birdie? Way to change the subject.” Hunter shook his head. “Okay, girls, one more block and then we’ll get the car.”
“I hope you got something really cool,” Nellie said.
“What you mean by ‘really cool’?” he asked.
“I mean like a Lambo or a Ferrari.”
“This is San Francisco, Nellie. Do you really think that I would rent a Lamborghini or Ferrari to go up and down these hills?”
Nellie sighed. “I guess not. I hope you got something good, though, and not just a boring Ford pickup truck.”
“Don’t worry. I didn’t get a pickup truck, either.”
“I bet you that he got a Toyota or something,” Shelby said.
Hunter shook his head, exasperated. “I didn’t get a Toyota.”
“What did you get, like a Hummer?” I asked with a small smile.
He caught my eye. “No,” he said quietly, “but one of these days, I really want to rent one. I’m surprised you remember.”
“You’re not the only one with a good memory,” I replied. Ever since we were teenagers, Hunter had always wanted to drive around in a Hummer. I wasn’t sure why; I thought they were ugly, but he loved them.
“I got us a Lexus,” he said.
“Ooh, fancy,” I said. “A Lexus?
“Yeah,” he said, “I wanted you to see that I’m not cheap.”
“I don’t care what sort of car you rent, Hunter.”
“I know, but I like to drive my lady around in luxury.”
“I’m not your lady.”
“Well, you are for the day.” He winked at me. “Or rather, for the week.”
I shook my head. “I haven’t agreed to see you any day other than today.”
“Well, I have a feeling …” He paused.
“What feeling?”
“Maybe I don’t have a feeling, maybe I just have hope,” he said.
“And what’s the hope?”
“That you’ll want to see me for the rest of the week. And maybe as well that …” He paused and gave me a wicked grin.
“What? Hunter, spit it out.”
“Maybe you’ll give me a kiss as well.” He burst out laughing at the look on my face. “Hey, a man’s got to try. When a guy hangs out with a girl as beautiful as you, of course, he’s going to want a kiss.”
I just giggled in response. Because I couldn’t lie: Hunter was looking mighty fine himself, and if he played his cards right he’d be getting that kiss. I just had to make sure that it didn’t go any further than that.
Chapter 18
Birdie
“Wow. This view is amazing.”
I stood on top of the hill, gazing at the expansive city views spread out below us. I could see the water shimmering in the bay, and in the distance, I could see the Bay Bridge.
I looked at Hunter. “This is so beautiful. Thanks for bringing me here. I don’t think I ever would have come by myself.”
“And it wasn’t that bad of a walk, was it?” He grinned.
“No, it wasn’t bad at all.” I laughed and looked over at Nellie and Shelby, who were sitting down on some rocks. “You girls okay?”
“I would be better if I wasn’t wearing flip-flops.” Nellie gave her brother a dirty look.
He shrugged in response. “I did tell you to wear sneakers.”
“Yeah, but when you saw me putting on flip-flops, you didn’t tell me not to.”
“I’m not your dad, Nellie, and it wasn’t that long of a walk.”
“It was long enough,” she whined. “My feet hurt.”
“You’ll be fine.” He rolled his eyes and then looked back at me with a grin. “So I was thinking after this, perhaps we could go to Berkeley.”
“Really? You want to go to Berkeley?”
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because it’s a hippie town and you hate hippies?”
“I don’t hate hippies.” He laughed. “What would make you think that?”
“I don’t know. You just have always been so straight-laced.”
“What? Just because I’m into NASCAR and football, I can’t like hippies?”
“So you’re telling me you like hippies now?”
“Well, no, I don’t really get why people would want to be hippies,” he admitted. “Aside from smoking a lot of weed.”
“That’s a stereotype. Every hippie doesn’t smoke weed, Hunter.”
“Is that a fact?”
“Well, I don’t know if that’s an actual fact.” I laughed too.
Hunter’s expression suddenly
turned earnest. “I’m not my dad. You know that right, Birdie? I’m my own man.”
“What does that mean?”
“I mean, my dad is super conservative and very straight-laced, and you know that’s not who I am.”
“I know that’s not who you are. That’s not who I am, either, even though my parents are the same way.”
“I know. I consider us to be more moderate.”
“What, you don’t consider me to be a liberal now that I’m in San Francisco?”
“You’ve always been a little bit of a liberal at heart, but I still love—loved you.” He paused, and we just stared at each other for a few seconds.
When he’d said he’d still loved me, he’d spoken quickly as if he were correcting himself from saying that he still loved me right now. Was I overthinking it? Did he still have feelings for me? And if he did, did it matter? I couldn’t allow him to make me feel one way or the other, not after everything that had happened. One trip to the Oakland Hills was not going to get us back together, no matter how much he wanted it. He was still Hunter, and I was still Birdie, and he still had a lot more to prove to me.
“So what are we going to do in Berkeley, then?” I said quickly, trying to cover up the tension that now existed between us … though it wasn’t really tension, more an awkwardness. And I didn’t know if he felt it, or if it was just me.
“I figured we could get some ice cream or cupcakes. There’s meant to be a really cool place.”
“Don’t tell me. You Yelped it again?” I laughed. He had always teased me about using Yelp all the time.
“What? I can’t like Yelp?”
“I just think it’s funny. You’re not the sort of guy that ever would use Yelp.” I laughed. “Anytime I wanted to go somewhere, you always took me to the same restaurant.”
“Well, because you loved Ruth’s Chris.”
“Yeah, I did like the steak house, but you know, there’s nothing wrong with changing it up.”
“Why change it up if we both love it?”
“Because it becomes monotonous, Hunter. You don’t always want to do the same thing over and over again. It’s like in bed. If you only did missionary, that would get boring.”
“Oh, but I would never only do missionary. You know that, Birdie.”
I blushed and wishing I hadn’t brought up sex. “I know,” I mumbled.
“So what’s your favorite position these days?”
“Hunter! I am not answering that question.” I rolled my eyes at him and then walked over to his sister and Shelby. “How are you guys doing? Are your feet really hurting badly?”
“Nah, it’s okay.” Nellie laughed. “I was just getting on his case. It wasn’t really that much of a walk.”
“You okay, Shelby?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” She smiled. “It’s really pretty here. Very different from South Carolina, huh?”
“Yeah, isn’t it just?” I nodded. “Very, very different.”
“It’s kind of crazy to think that we’re in Oakland,” Nellie said, as she looked around at all the green and the woods. “You always hear about Oakland being this crime-ridden, gang-infested city, but it’s really beautiful here.”
“I think that’s because we’re in the Oakland Hills right now. I think some parts of Oakland are bad, but this part is certainly nice.”
“Yeah. Would you ever live here?” Nellie asked me curiously.
“What do you mean?”
“Would you ever move here?”
“Well, I mean, I don’t know. I live in San Francisco now. I love San Francisco.”
“So would you ever move back to South Carolina, now that you’ve had a taste of the big city?”
“Well, it’s not really the big city. The big cities are like, Chicago or New York. I consider San Francisco to be a small city.”
“You didn’t answer the question.” Nellie smiled slyly. “Would you ever move back to South Carolina?”
“I don’t know. It’s not really something I’ve thought about. I mean, there’s nothing really for me in South Carolina. My job’s here.”
“Yeah, but you can get a job anywhere, Birdie.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know that I’d make such good friends.”
“Well, you have me,” she pointed out.
“I do have you,” I agreed. “I’m so glad that we were able to reconnect.”
“Me too. I’m so glad that you’ve given Hunter another chance.” She yawned. “Oh my gosh. I need a coffee and I need to eat. Hunter!”
He looked at her with exaggerated patience. “Yes, Nellie?”
“I’m hungry. Can we go and get some lunch?”
“Sure, if you guys are ready to leave,” he replied.
“I think so.” Nellie looked over at Shelby. “Unless you want to enjoy the view some more?”
“The view is nice and all, but I’ve had enough.” Shelby jumped up. “I put it on my Instagram stories already so everyone can see that I’ve been here.”
“Oh, we should get a photo!” Nellie said suddenly. “Hunter, take a photo of me, Birdie, and Shelby, okay?”
He made a face. “What about me?”
“What about you? Do you really want to be in a selfie?”
“Well, yeah. Don’t I always?”
“No, you never want to be in selfies.” She rolled her eyes. “Fine. Come on.”
She handed him her phone, and we all gathered together. He held his hand out and we smiled at the camera as he took the photo.
“I like it,” Nellie said as she grabbed the phone from her brother. “We all look really hot. This is awesome.”
“Will you send it to me?” Hunter asked.
“You want a copy of the photo?” Nellie looked surprised. “Okay, sure. Do you want a copy too, Birdie?”
“I wouldn’t say no …” I replied.
“Uh huh. Of course, you wouldn’t.”
“I mean, I want to remember the day. It’s been fun.”
“Send one to me too,” Shelby said. “We all want it, Nellie.”
Thank God for Shelby. The dynamic had shifted between Hunter and me. We weren’t at each other’s throats like we had been in the very beginning, but there was still a weird, awkward tenseness between us. When I was around him, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to kiss him or slap him. Maybe I wanted to do both.
“Okay, girls, come on.” Hunter waved us back toward the path. “Let’s go to Berkeley. We’ll grab some lunch, and then maybe we can go on another hike. I think we’re close to Mount Diablo.”
“Mount, what?” Nellie said. “Are you joking, Hunter? There’s no way in hell I’m climbing any mountain!”
“It’s not a mountain.” He chuckled. “Anyway, obviously I’m not going to take any of you guys on another hike. I think you’d all kill me.”
“You got that right,” I agreed cheerfully. “Okay. I’m hungry too. Let’s go.”
We headed back down the path towards the park that we’d walked through to get to the viewpoint. I smiled at an elderly lady who walked past us with her Great Dane.
“So are you ready for your big meeting?” I asked Hunter, wanting to continue our conversation, but not wanting to risk getting personal again.
“I’m as ready as I’m going to be.” He made a face. “I mean, this is a big deal for my family, and my dad’s put a lot of trust in me by letting me handle it, so I kind of have to make sure that it goes well, you know?” His face grew serious. “I feel like I have something to prove to a lot of people.”
“What do you mean?”
“Let’s just say you’re not the only one I’ve disappointed in my life.” He shrugged. “But I guess my family forgave me a little bit quicker.”
“What do you mean? You did something to your dad?”
“No, it’s not that I did something to him.” He sighed. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Let’s not talk about it. Let’s focus on something else.”
“If you say let’s focus on you and me having
sex, I’m going to scream,” I joked, hoping to lighten the mood.
“Well, now that you bring it up … “ He grinned and winked, and I just shook my head.
We continued on our way back down the path toward the car, laughing and talking. It felt warm and comfortable walking alongside him again, and I knew that I wouldn’t soon forget the magical quality of the day.
Chapter 19
Hunter
My mind was going a hundred ticks a minute as I paced up and down the hotel corridor. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what to do. I was going out of my mind. The day had been amazing, even more amazing than I could have hoped for. Birdie had looked beautiful, and even better, she’d been friendly towards me and seemingly happy. I’d been prepared for her to be rude and obnoxious, showing signs of residual hurt, but instead, she’d been warm and loving. Well, maybe not loving. Maybe that was wishful thinking. But the day had been great, and it had reminded me of what our relationship had been like when we’d first started dating, when I’d been the young, naive guy blown away by the fact that this beautiful girl had actually taken an interest in me.
I couldn’t believe that I’d screwed it up so badly. Spending time with her now reminded me of how great she was, how funny and outgoing and sweet and self-deprecating, and just how much I loved her.
I stopped in my tracks.
I loved her. I still loved her, and I probably would never stop loving her. I’d been upset with her for leaving me, but now … now I didn’t know what to do or think because I realized that she’d had good reason to leave me. I’d been an ass.
I needed to go back into the room so I could think this through, but I didn’t want Nellie to badger me into telling her that I really did want Birdie back, even though I was pretty confident that she knew.
After our conversation the previous evening and the letter I’d written, and then after spending time with her today, I wanted to text Birdie. No, I wanted to call her.
No, I wanted to be with her. Part of me had considered asking her if I could spend the night at her place, but I knew she’d laugh in my face if I even suggested it. We were getting on again but we weren’t getting on that well. At the end of the day when we’d gotten back from Berkeley, she had given me a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek. How badly I’d wished that kiss had been on the lips, but I knew that would have been pushing it.