by HMD
"Yeah she was." I know she's not saying that to receive a response complimenting her. Grace doesn't give me the insecure I need a compliment every five seconds kind of vibe. I think she's honestly just telling me McKenzie was beautiful. She really was.
She puts down the picture and joins me on the bed. "You two together would've made jaws drop." She tells me seriously but I can't help but laugh. "What? It's true!"
"Well I think you and I are pretty jaw dropping." I lean forward and capture her lips with mine. I don't know how I became so good at being smooth with a girl but I lay her back and rest my body on top of hers. Dinner will be ready in a few hours. That's definitely not enough time for me to get my fill of Grace, but I can try.
-
Dinner is going off successfully. My mom really has outdone herself. She's made a five course meal with three choices of appetizers. The fathers are talking shop, hashing sports statistics while the mothers discuss cooking and gardening. They seem to be hitting it off so well and I can't be more pleased. I'm getting some payback as Sonia retells embarrassing stories of Grace but she's a good sport and just laughs along instead of scowl, so that takes the fun out of it for me. Tyler is rolling around with the dog somewhere, then there's Grace and I glued to each other’s side. My mom escorts everyone to the dining room and calls for my brother. Telling him to wash up for supper, it's just the adults in the room and my mother raises her glass clinking it gently with her knife. She's giving a speech...of course she is.
"I want to thank you so much for coming to our home. It's been such a treat getting to know you and getting to know your daughter. She's been lovely to have around but most especially I'm grateful for what she's been to my daughter..."
Oh geez.
My mother takes a moment gathering herself and my dad lays a hand on hers in support. She clears her throat to say more and I feel Grace squeeze my hand under the table.
"When Emma was expected to come home I didn't know what I was going to get. The first few days were hard she was distant and kept to herself which I understood but I just wanted to know that she was alright. Ever since the induction of Grace she's brought life back to my baby and now I see so much joy, peace, and love in her and I couldn't be happier. So thank you Grace and thank you Sonia and Bill for raising such a beautiful girl."
"May I add something to that?" Sonia chimes in before my mother gets a chance to say cheers. My mother smiles widely and I think it's official. She's found her new best friend. She nods giving the okay to Mrs. Cassidy to continue.
"First of all thank you for opening your home to us and cooking such a feast. This all looks delicious. Your hospitality, kindness, and generosity are so heartwarming and I am glad to finally find out where Emma gets all those qualities from and then some. Since Grace has met Emma I've seen a light in her eyes that I haven't seen in a long time. Her tenacity for life has increased insurmountably and I know that it has to do with the young lady sitting right here."
I blush looking away. I squeeze Grace's hand this time. I'm wasn't expecting any of this. They're grateful that we fell in love with each other. I guess we were so busy falling for one another we didn't see the impact that it had on the people around us. How often does anyone pay attention to that though? When two people fall in love it's supposed to be just the two of them but it never is. We didn't pay attention to how our mood changes affected our families, we just fell for each other. We mattered to one another and we forgot that we matter to other people.
I think Grace and I are both a bit embarrassed by the toasts our mothers are giving. We thought we were just having a dinner to get to know one another. Turns out we're celebrating the love Grace and I are growing into. I turn my attention back onto Sonia as she finishes up.
"You've had such an impact on Grace's life and both Bill and I are so grateful. We feel like you've been with us for so long and I think I speak for Bill as well as myself when I say that you're a welcomed addition to our family."
My mouth goes dry as she says that. I choke out something that sounds like words but I can't be sure. I know I feel Grace's lips on my cheek. That's an unmistakable feeling. I don't know what to say but I mechanically raise my glass as everyone says 'to Emma and Grace.' We steal a glance at each other and smirk. I can't help but lean forward and kiss her quickly ignoring all the eyes that are on us right now.
Their gratitude is pleasantly overwhelming but nothing is more pleasantly overwhelming than knowing that this girl is mine.
Chapter 17- Hazy
I smile and roll over, looking at the clock. It's still early so I can go for my run. I can't believe this leave is almost over. My smile widens as I think of everything I've gained since coming home. A stronger relationship with my little brother, my mom and I are closer than ever, I've gotten to spend quality time with my dad, mended my relationships with the Williams and the Diaz's, did I mention the amazingly beautiful girl that I now call my girlfriend? No? Well yeah there's that too!
I pull myself out of bed, get dressed for my run and head downstairs to the kitchen.
“Hey mom,” I greet my mother with a kiss on the cheek.
She smiles and places an orange in front of me. “Good morning, Emma.”
I smile, peeling my orange as my little brother climbs on a stool next to me.
“Morning, Em. Is Grace coming over today?” He questions with a smile.
“Not today bud,” I shake my head, putting a piece of orange in my mouth. “She's a little busy,” I hop down off my stool as my mom places a plate of food in front of my brother. He pouts and I ruffle his hair. “I'm sure she'll come over to see you tomorrow. We'll be here when you get out of school okay?”
His smile returns as he nods then stuffs a forkful of food into his mouth.
“Going for my run.”
“Are you going to the Williams's later?” My mother questions. I nod as I'm leaving the kitchen, she shouts an 'okay and she'll see me later.' I head out for my morning run.
–
Today has been amazing so far. I won't let the date get me down. This is supposed to be a celebration of McKenzie and George's life so I'm refusing to sulk. Plus I'm going by Grace's later and the thought alone is keeping me happy.
She said she had a busy morning but wouldn't really discuss it. I didn't press her about it though. I know she's probably preparing for her brother's memorial. I think that it’s one day this week. She hasn't really wanted to talk about it much, but I completely understand what she's going through.
I pull up in front of the Williams house and see Mr. Williams doing some light yard work on this sunny day.
“Hey Mr. Williams.” I greet him with a wave as I make my way up to the house.
“Hello Emma,” He smiles.
I step inside the house, an action that would usually bombard me with memories. Force me to remember that he's gone. Not so much anymore. Now I chose what to feel, what to see. I think I've finally gotten a grip on my emotions.
“Well hello there, Emma,” Maria pulls me into a hug. I smile, saying a hello. “Is your family stopping by? I didn't get a chance to speak with your mother this morning.”
“Yes ma'am they're coming over after Tyler gets out of school,” I nod as Mrs. Williams appears from the kitchen.
“Hello, Emma,” She greets me with a kiss to both cheeks. “Your parents?” She questions. I'm starting to think they want my parents here more than they want me. I chuckle and nod.
“After Tyler gets out of school,” The two women in front of me nod head back into the kitchen, talking to each other. I head up the stairs to the room I frequented in my childhood. It feels weird to be in here. But not like a strange weird, a good weird if that makes any sense. I run a finger over a few things on George's desk. His parents haven't touched the room since the accident. I think it helps them to come in and see it exactly the way George left it.
“I miss you guys,” I say aloud as I take a seat on George's bed. “I really do,” I curl my lips into
a smile remembering the time we were jumping on George's bed and he fell off nearly hitting his head on the drum kit he got for his ninth birthday. I think we laughed ourselves to sleep that day. He said he saw his life flash before his eyes. I told him he was being dramatic and he damn near tickled me to death.
“Emma,” A gentle hand nudges me awake. I look up and see Mrs. Williams standing over me sporting a smile. I must have fallen asleep.
I didn't even realize that I was tired. I sit up, placing George's favorite bear back on his pillow. Yes, in case you're wondering, he still slept with a teddy bear. In his defense, his grandmother gave it to him when he was two and she died when we were eleven. It was all he had left of her so he dug it out of his closet and started sleeping with it again.
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep.”
She shakes her head, waving me off. “It's okay. I do it sometimes too,” She smiles. “Dinner's ready,” I nod and she leaves giving me a couple more seconds.
“I know you're watching over me George, I just wanna say thanks for putting Grace in my path,” I smile at the prospect of my friends being the ones to push me towards Grace. Yeah, it probably makes no sense but the thought alone brings a smile to my face. I kiss my fingers then place them on a picture of the three of us on his desk. “Sleep well, dream dreams and wake up, for the love of God wake up tomorrow,” I say quietly, closing my eyes. I smile as I think of all the times George said that before we got off the phone at night. It was corny then and McKenzie and I would pick at him for it, but what I'd give to hear him say it to me now. I leave his room, closing the door behind me and head downstairs.
“There she is!” My dad half shouts when I enter the dining room. I shake my head as the group of adults all cheer for my arrival. Mr. Williams, Mr. Diaz and my dad all start talking about baseball stats while the women discuss the recipes to the dishes they've each contributed. Tyler’s looks up at me and shakes his head as I take a seat next to him. I feel you buddy.
This little makeshift family is crazy... every last one of them, but I wouldn't trade them for the world.
–
“I've missed you today,” I greet Grace with a kiss as she pulls me into the house.
“You have no idea,” She smiles, hugging me.
“So what are we doing? You wanna go for a movie or something?” I ask, she drops her head looking timid. “Everything okay, Grace?” I question, pulling her head up to look at me.
“I know this is last minute and I know it's kind of selfish of me to ask but um... today is kind of the memorial for my brother’s death and I didn't tell you because I know that you have a lot going on this week yourself and death is not really something that you're all that comfortable with, but I was wondering if you would come with us to go--”
“Yes,” I cut her off, not even having to think about it.
A smile plays at her lips. “Really?”
“Yes,” I nod. I pull her closer to me, taking her hands in mine. “Grace you've been there for me in ways you will never understand. I was broken, no I was shattered to pieces and you fixed me. You put me back together piece by piece and I will never be able to repay you for that. Anything you ever ask of me I'll do. No questions asked. Do you understand?” I try to make her realize how serious I am about what I'm saying. Grace has been a Godsend. The least I can do is support her in a time of need, like she's done for me countless times.
“You're so amazing,” She smiles, pulling me into a kiss.
“Ready to head out?” Her mom, dad and doc appear from... somewhere.
“Mhm,” Grace nods. “Is it okay that Emma comes?” She asks her parents.
“Of course,” They nod. “Emma is always welcomed.”
“Thank you,” I tell her parents as I grab Grace's hand entangling her fingers in mine.
“I'm gonna ride with Em,” She tells her parents as we head out the door.
As I follow behind Grace's parents on the way to honor Grace's brother I realize she's never told me anything about his death.
“Grace,” I say softly. She mumbles out an absentminded 'hmm?' as she plays with my fingers. “You never told me what happened to your brother,” I say just as softly. I don't want to upset her or anything. “You don't have to tell me if you don't want, I was just wondering.”
“No it's fine,” She shakes her head, glancing up at me briefly. “He died in a car accident.” She says after a moment. I sigh and shake my head. “What is it?” She questions. I turn to look at her briefly making sure to keep my eyes focused on the road.
“It's just my friends died in a car accident too,” I purse my lips, feeling the sadness coming on.
“Curse these man made contraptions,” Grace says after a moment of silence, hitting my dashboard for emphasis. I can't help but smile at her. She looks at me, returning the smile. It's amazing how in such a short time she can sense when my mood is changing, read my mind and then say the right thing to make me feel better.
“Easy with Jessie, she's sensitive,” I rub the spot Grace just attacked. She turns to me with an amused look.
“You named your car, Jessie?” She quirks a brow. I alternate looking between her and the road.
“Yeah,” I reply with a shrug. “And she's sensitive so I think you should apologize.”
“I'm sorry Jessie,” She rubs the spot she hit, leaning forward and kissing the dashboard. “Thank you so much for keeping my girlfriend safe whenever she drives you,” She adds for good measure and I can't help but smile wider at the cuteness that is my girlfriend.
As we come to a stop I get this overwhelming feeling. Something isn't right. Grace and I get out of the car, walking up to Mr. and Mrs. Cassidy and Doc. This all feels too familiar.
“This is where your brother got into his accident?” I turn to Grace and ask. She nods sadly.
“He was hit by a drunk driver, they ran the light,” She points to the intersection.
What is happening right now?
“Grace, do you know who hit him?” I ask, backing away from her a bit. She moves closer to me, confusion and concern written all over her face. I watch as her parents pull candles from the backseat of their car. Lighting four, one for each year they've been without their loved one.
“No,” Grace answers, pulling me back to earth. I forgot what I even asked. “The records were sealed, something about protecting the identity of the people, I think they were minors or something,” She shrugs as her dad comes over and hands each of us a candle. “Emma are you okay?” She asks. I shake my head.
I'm not okay.
This street... this corner... this place... it's...
Oh my God!
–
This isn't happening, this can't be happening. None of this is real. It's a bad dream that I'm going to wake up from any moment now.
As I run into the hospital my heart is breaking. I know what's happened, I know because it's all my fault. I left them, I left them and now.
“I'm sorry,” I bump into someone, not paying attention to where I'm going.
“It's okay,” Her voice comes out in a whisper but I can feel pain seeping from her. The same pain I feel. I glance up briefly, seeing a flash of blonde but I can't focus on the person I just crashed into. I can't focus on anything right now.
“Two teenagers just came in, they were in a car accident,” I tell the woman at the first desk I come to, she points to her right. I look at the hall, the word Emergency written over the entrance. I close my eyes, my breathing erratic as I turn and run down the hall that seems never ending.
I flashback to the party in my head. What I could have done differently. What I should have done differently.
I knew they were both drunk. I shouldn't have left them. No matter how mad I was at them, I should have stayed. They were my friends and I just left them.
I left them and now...
“Emma,” Mrs. Diaz's voice pulls me back to reality.
“Are they…” I trail off, unable to even thin
k the words.
“George was driving,” She pauses shaking her head. “He didn't make it,” I close my eyes, taking in her words.
“No,” I drop to the ground, or at least I would have if Maria wasn't holding me up. “McKenzie?” I look at her, barely able to make out her face through the blurriness.
“She's in surgery. I barely got to talk to her before they took her up,” Her face contorts in pain with the realization of her words. Her daughter, her only child is in surgery right now, clinging to life.
“This is all my fault,” I tell her as the tears fall harder, because it is. “I left them, I just... I was so angry that I--”
“Don't you dare do that Emma. This isn't your fault. You didn't force them to drink and drive. This is not on you!” Maria chides me. But no matter what she says it will always be my fault. George is gone and McKenzie is... she's.... I can't force myself to say the words. I continue to cry in Maria's arms as George's mom and dad sob into each other’s arms. I need to go hug them, I need to tell them... I don't know, something. Something that would make them feel better.
My mind is blank.
I try to listen to the doctor that comes out a few moments later to talk to Maria but I can't hear anything. Everything is hazy.
The shrill of a cry that leaves Mrs. Diaz's lips tell me everything that I need to know though. They're gone, they're both gone and there's nothing I can do to bring them back. There's no amount words I could string together that would make this okay.
I faintly hear George's mom ask the doctor about the other boy that was involved in the accident, but I don't hear what the doctor says as I wrap my arms around Maria this time and pull her into a tight hug. George's mom and dad join us, all of us attempting to bring some sort of comfort to the other.
“The other boy didn't make it,” George's mom tells Maria.
I look up to McKenzie's mom as her face contorts in horror. Her daughter and our best friend killed someone. Now I feel extra guilty. Not only did I get my friends killed, I got another boy killed, an innocent person. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself.