by HMD
"Oh my goodness I'm so sorry..." She looks terrified but then her eyes open wider.
I didn't even think that to be possible they are already pretty big. I breathe out a soft laugh and lift my hand toward her.
"You're awake! You're..." She moves closer to me and grabs my hand. "I should get the nurse or something..." She trails off, thumbing behind her.
I don't say anything I just stare at her lovingly. She leans forward but then pops back up. I furrow my brows.
"I wanna kiss you but..."
She scans my very broken body and I just pucker my lips. She carefully places her hands on the bed to get her balance capturing my lips with hers. This is the best feeling right now and my body is feeling pain but she is my anesthesia, my morphine. I feel so much better already and I want her closer. I press my face closer to hers and she knows to pull away. I attempt to move over and she quickly berates me.
"Don't move."
"I want you to lie down with me." I say as I attempt to sit up.
Okay this really hurts. It's really, truly, extremely painful. I should probably listen to Grace. I've already gotten a momentum and I don't want to look bad.
"Em, stop." She whines and I smirk. "I'll lie down just—don't move." I nod and carefully lie back down.
I watch as she carefully crawls back into the hospital bed. I grab her arm and put it over my chest she whimpers and I giggle. then groan from the pain of the laughter, Grace flinches away.
"Grace I'm fine, it's more painful to have you away from me." I tell her honestly and she smiles sadly. We lie quietly and I can hear the gears in her brain turning. I try to ease the tension with a small joke.
"First time I get you in bed and I needed to crash into a tree."
laugh at my bad joke and I'm completely alone in that department. She sniffles and I stroke her arm. It's not long before she's on her feet again. She shakes her head and I'm watching her.
"It's not funny. This isn't funny. I can't lose you." She whispers.
"You won't. I'm here." She lifts her head and I notice tears in her eyes. "I'm here Grace...just like said you were here for me."
Her breath hitches and I smile softly.
"I heard you...everything you said. I love you too." Talking is very painful right now.
My voice is extremely hoarse but I need her to hear this. I need her to know that she is everything to me She sits back in the chair. She's probably afraid to touch me. I just continue.
"You are everything that I need to live, I would fight anything just so you wouldn't feel pain. I'm not going to leave you, you say you can't live without me well I wasn't alive until I met you. You're it Grace..."
I have more to say but my lips are busy kissing my girlfriend. I tug at her shirt and this time she doesn't fight me. She just lies right next to me. When she's away there's always pain but by my side all I feel is her. As she snuggles in closer to me, I close my eyes loving every moment of this.
"I would never want you to die for me Grace." I whisper and she turns to look at me. "But I would for you, I would do anything for you."
"I know." I nod, the gesture causing the pounding in my head to magnify. I wince from the pain and close my eyes to push it away. "I would never want that though. I could never live in a world where you don't exist."
I open my eyes slowly, the truth resounding in my ears. I've never spoken truer words. She lets a smile play at her lips before kissing me gently and loosely wraps herself around me to keep from causing me anymore pain.
-
"Ms. Daniels?" A voice pulls me from my dreams. I open my eyes to see Grace still sleeping next to me and a nurse standing over us. "I need to check your ribs." She tells me and I wish there was a way she could do it without Grace having to detach from me. I reluctantly shake Grace awake. She stirs and it's the cutest thing on the planet.
"I don't wanna go to school today mommy." I stifle a laugh and shake her again. This time she wakes up.
"I'm not gonna make you go to school, but I do need you to get up for a second so the nurse can check my ribs." I smile at her.
She gives me a confused look but gets up. After the nurse checks my ribs and does a couple test to see if I'm still concussed she leaves Grace and I alone again.
"You were talking in your sleep." I chuckle a little as she climbs back into bed with me.
"No." She shakes her head, clearly embarrassed.
"Mhm." I nod and smile. "Was that a one-time thing or something you do all the time?" I pop a brow and wait for her answer.
"I don't know." She shrugs. "Why? Would that be a problem?" She mirrors my face and I shake my head no, smiling harder.
"I think it's the cutest thing ever. I can't wait to hear it every night." I say and I can tell my words catch her off guard.
Talks of the future and our plans have never really came up. We've been living in the here and now but after an incident like what happened I think that we should.
"I can see myself being with you forever, Grace. Does that scare you?" When she doesn't answer right away I feel my heart speed up and I'm not sure if it's the morphine I was just given or how long it's taking her to answer the question. "Oh my God, you're--"
"No." She shakes her head quickly. When her lips curl up into a smile I know what's coming next. "I want to wake up next to you everyday." She nods and I can't help but smile. I don't want to help it! This is the best news ever. "You're it for me too, Emma Daniels."
I smile at the revelation and I can't help but be okay with the turn of events. Sometimes tragedy leads to beauty. Sometimes you have to sacrifice to receive a blessing. Grace is the best thing to ever happen to me, she won't replace what I had nor can I with her but we can lead a fulfilling life—together. I lace my fingers with hers and she kisses the back of my hand. We just lie in silence letting the peace of our situation flow over us. The quiet doesn't last too long as my family knocks on the door. Grace motions to get up but I hold her in place.
Tyler pops his head in the doorway and though it hurts to laugh I do so because he is the coolest kid ever. He beams a smile at us.
"Em! I knew you'd wake up. See told you!" He gloats triumphantly as he rushes towards the side of the bed.
"Be careful sweetie." My mom urges and I dismiss her softly. She, of course, ignores me. "Her leg Tyler, honey."
Tyler goes towards the front of the bed and climbs over making sure to watch where he lands. I move my good leg giving him room. He lifts the bottom of the blanket exposing my cast.
"Can I sign Em?"
"You better," I tell him and he smiles brightly.
I subconsciously stroke Grace's arm. My parents greet her with a cheek to cheek kiss then kiss me on top of my head. They get comfortable in the room and notice that my mother brought a basket of food with her. I laugh lightly.
"Did you bring breakfast?" I tease her and she just tuts placing it on top of the table.
She wheels it closer to the bed. Grace gets up to help with everything and I miss her body already. My dad pulls the chair closer to me and grabs my hand.
"You scared us sweetie."
I look away ashamedly. It was a heat of the moment situation. I was just upset, and at the time all I wanted to do was get to my girl. I flick my eyes up at her and she's looking at me lovingly. I can't help but feel bliss overtake my disheveled body. I look back to my dad and he notices where my gaze has lingered, he laughs quietly patting my hand.
"You did good Em, you've got a keeper." I agree with him, nodding softly making sure not to aggravate any pain in my head. "Listen. I gave your CO a call earlier this morning and explained everything, they've agreed to an extension to your time home but they'll handle your physical recovery. He says that the rest of your unit is still scheduled to return from their R&R this weekend and are shipping out the following week, but you'll stay at base 'til you heel up enough."
"How much longer?"
"A few more weeks," he answers sadly, it's better than the two days I ha
d left here.
I squeeze my father's hand. He just nods his head and leans back in the chair. My girlfriend brings me a cup of water and I'm grateful. With the excitement of Grace being here, discussing our future, and my family coming I forgot all about the soreness from my throat. I rub at it in confusion.
"You had a tube in..." Grace explains, "to help with your breathing, a nurse took it out over night when your oxygen levels were stable."
Everyone has their eye on Grace as she explains. She answers fully informed, like a wife would. I force the thoughts out of my head, a bit early to think of Grace as my wife, though it does have a nice ring to it.
"Well it's obvious you were in great hands. I knew you would be." My mother speaks up first as she winks at Grace. All she does is look away, blushing a bit.
She sits next to Tyler as he pulls another marker from his schoolbag and colors on what used to be a plain white cast.
"No school today bud?" I ask taking the attention off Grace, she looks at me with a thankful gaze and I just wink at her.
"Nah, mom said I could skip and be with you today."
"Good call mom." I compliment and she just shrugs nonchalantly placing flowers in a vase and putting it next to my window.
When she finally moves away from the table that they were "preparing" breakfast I notice it's a stack of pancakes, bacon, and sausages and my eyes widen.
"Mom that's too much food." I comment and she waves a hand at me.
"The Williams, Diaz's, and the Cassidy's are on the way what are they going to eat."
"Only you would make a feast of food in a hospital room." I joke and my dad laughs along with me. "How do you intend on keeping all that stuff warm?"
"Can't tell you that, it's a mother's secret. I'll tell Grace though it's a wife's secret as well." She says and I think my heart machine starts beeping erratically.
My mother did this last time calling Grace my girlfriend before I even get the chance to and now she's doing it with the word wife!
"Ma don't domesticate my girlfriend!" Grace is covering her face and I completely understand her horror.
"’Cause you're a good girl." My little brother sings as he colors my cast. I thought he was just signing it, not painting the Mona Lisa on it.
"Why do you know that song?" I half shout and regret it as my ribs and throat twinge in pain.
He looks up shyly. "You said the word, domesticate and I don't know I just started singing it."
He goes back to coloring like nothing happened. I think he knows how to use his innocence to his advantage, that boy is sneaky. I look at my girlfriend and she's just giggling away.
The rest of my visitors filter in and Grace sets me up a plate of breakfast. She's taking great care of me just like she's done my entire time home. I don't know how to ever repay her, I hope loving her and devoting myself to her can be the start of something in a form of gratitude. The food is surprisingly still very hot and I think my mother is a wizard.
No one bombards me with questions they just keep me company and express how happy they are that I'm safe and back with them. I think about my memories and the limbo I experienced and I don't chalk it up to a dream. It was real and I won't water it down with my mind playing tricks on me. I said goodbye to my old family and embrace my new one as they talk amongst themselves letting their presence be the support I never imagined to have.
Later that evening everyone left, promising to come back the next day. They've spent the entire day here and wanted to give me rest, despite how much I begged them to stay. The only person that did was, of course, the love of my life. The lighting in the hospital room is dim. The television in the upper corner is on a low volume just adding to the background noise. I had just had a quick check up with my nurse and doctor, giving me my numbers. I have a long road of recovery ahead of me, but this is better than not being here at all.
She comes out from my private bathroom in a fresh set of clothes that her mother brought her earlier. She seems a lot more relaxed. I'm looking at her and she catches my stare.
"What?" She asks me shyly.
"You look happy."
"I am." She sits at the other end of the hospital bed and looks at me sweetly. She rubs my good leg and I chortle. "What?"
"If I tell you something will you think I'm crazy?" She just shakes her head no so I continue. "Before I woke up..."
I gather up the nerve to tell her, she'll be the only person I ever tell. She'll be the only person that ever needs to know. She nods letting me know I have her full attention. I start over.
"Before I woke up, I saw McKenzie, George...and James."
Her breath hitches as I whisper her brother's name.
"He told me to take care of you." She smiles and I see a shimmer in her eyes. I know it's probably tears. "It wasn't a dream, I felt them. It felt too real and I'd never seen James besides pictures...he had a goatee..."
Grace chokes out a laugh and the tears she tried to fight off flow down her cheek. She's just nodding. I had never seen a picture of James with a goatee.
"He was..."She takes a breath trying to calm her quivering voice. “He was trying out this awful look. He was so proud of that goatee. It took him months to get it right. I told him he looked like a bum."
She laughs a little harder, I assume she's replaying the conversation in her head. Grace sniffles and wipes at her eyes. I wish she'd come over here so I could hold her. I can barely move.
"He told me his goal in life was to be a beach bum so he was already halfway there."
We both share a quiet laugh. I whisper for her to come here so I could hold her. It's been too long since I have.
"He smelled like coconut." I tell her as she lies down in my arms.
"He would."
She starts to tell me more stories and I her. I quickly realize that for once, reminiscing my friends isn't painful at all and I know that it's because of the girl I'm holding. I'm able to hold her because I was finally able to let go of everything else.
Chapter 22- A Perfect Kind of Love
I grab the handle that was situated above my head. I pull myself up and with the help of my nurse. I manage to transfer into the wheelchair that was brought into my room. I get to go home today. After waiting hours for the doctor to discharge me, I can’t get out of here fast enough. It’s been over two weeks and with a lot of persuasion on both Grace and my mother’s part they’ve released me a lot sooner than planned.
My injuries have been healing pretty well, Grace’s been taking really great care of me. She hasn’t left my side and it gives me hope for the future. My mother has brought Grace and I food from home every day. Every meal, snacks included and I’m starting to think that’s the reason I’m getting better so quickly. There’s nothing like mom’s cooking to cure the most serious of ailments.
I groan a bit a little bit both sore and weak, dropping into the wheelchair. I’m winded and surprised at how tired I am already. My nurse grabs my shoulder and looks me in the eyes.
“You doing alright?” I struggle to calm my breathing and nod as she keeps my healing leg up and gently lays it in the foot rest of the chair.
I sneak a peek around the older woman and wink at my girlfriend. She’s gathering my things. She wanted to help me out of bed but was scared that she’d get in the way. Too embarrassed and sad to watch someone else help me. She packed up the things I’ve accumulated during my stay. She packs my clothes, toiletries, and ‘get well’ gifts that I’ve gotten from not only her but everyone that’s come to see me. She smiles looking away with a blush. I love that I still have that affect on her. That I can still make her shy and make her feel giddy. She does the same for me.
My nurse makes sure I’m properly in the chair and my mother comes strolling in, in that Catherine Daniels way. She’s ready to take over but Grace quickly steps up announcing that she’ll push me. I quirk a brow as I watch my mother reluctantly pass the imaginary baton that she’s held for so long over to my girlfriend. She realizes i
n that moment, that the blonde is now the woman who will be doing all the coddling that she used to do. Catherine nods with a smile and steps out of the way so my girlfriend can take the nurse's place.
“Hi babe.” I greet cutely as she steps behind and pushes slowly.
She bends down and kisses my cheek whispering a soft ‘hi gorgeous,’ in my ears. It sends shivers down my spine and I catch chill.
“We all set?” My mother ask as she takes my bag from Grace and rubs my shoulder gently. “Your father is organizing the car downstairs.”
“He’s throwing me in the back of the pickup isn’t he?” I ask with a laugh and both special women in my life share a giggle.
I’m not exactly sure why they are laughing because I’m being serious. We get into the elevator and I wave the staff off cheerily. They’ve been so great and helpful, of course that’s their job, but I can tell they do it with care and love.
“I can’t wait to get home.”
“I’ve made your favorite, you must be hungry. Also I had your father buy a bed and set you up in the den so you don’t have to deal with the stairs.”
I giggle as I can imagine my mother hustle my father into all those different projects, preparing for my return home. The elevator jerks to a stop and Grace’s carefully leads the chair through the doors, my mother close behind. We reach outside and the light from the outside world is blinding. Even though sunlight peered through the blinds of my window of my room it’s a whole different experience when I am wheeled outside. The fresh air extremely welcomed and I think about how lucky I am to be outside again. It was too close of a call and though I’m leaving soon I’m looking forward to my return home.
It used to be the opposite. I always couldn’t wait to go back. I couldn’t wait to be stationed again so I can have normal duties to distract me from my memories. Now my memories will keep me going to have the enthusiasm to come back home. Enthusiasm that I have never had until Grace came into my life.