by HMD
Everyone laughs and my nervousness dissipates slightly. It goes away completely when I feel Grace squeeze my hand. It’s a gentle reminder that she still has it. I’m so used to it being connected to mine that I forget that it’s there at times.
“As my mom said thank you for coming. A lot of you I haven’t seen in so long, and the rest have stormed into my life.” I take a few seconds to direct my gaze to the specific people of each category. “When I came home I didn’t imagine that I’d be leaving surrounded by this many people. This is the first time that I’ve found it so hard to say goodbye and I think it’s because it’s the first time I’ve never wanted to leave. It was hard being back at first, but now I can’t imagine myself anywhere else. I’ve rekindled relationships and started new ones. Most of all I fell in love.”
I look at Grace and she’s looking down in her lap. Clearly I’m embarrassing her but I need her to know that it’s the hardest leaving her.
I gently turn her face towards mine and she’s fighting tears. One sneaks its way from her eye and I brush it away with my thumb. I hear Tyler mumble an 'aw.' I smile as I continue to talk to my girlfriend.
“You are not what I expected to find when I got back but I’m so glad that you found me. It hurts just thinking about being away from you. It physically causes me pain to the point that every injury from this accident can’t even compare. I cannot wait to come back and start my life with you. You are the greatest surprise I could never have known to ask for and I love you so much.”
We both forget that there are other people at this party. She leans closer to me and kisses me lovingly.
“I love you too,” she replies sweetly and her eyes dart towards the rest of my guests reminding me of their presence. I clear my throat and focus on all their smiling faces.
“I appreciate every single one of you and the part that you’ve taken in my life. I can’t thank you enough, your continuing support and love keeps me strong and though I leave in a couple days, this is not goodbye, it's an ‘I'll see you later’.”
My dad puts both pinkies under his tongue and blows a shrill whistle. It causes Doc to bark and everyone cheers. I laugh at the group of people around me. I look around as they dig in and I get a little choked up. I came here thinking I had no one, and they all proved me wrong. I look as Grace grabs my plate and starts to pile food on, I just laugh quietly. Especially her, she’s definitely done a great job in letting me know that I’ll never be alone. Not while she’s around.
Chapter 24- It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye
“I hate today,” Grace mumbles against my neck as we lay in bed.
It's been three days since my 'see you later' party and today is the dreaded day. I have to head back to my unit's base in Georgia and rehab before I'm deployed back to Afghanistan.
“I know baby, me too.” I lean down to kiss her head. She's laying on my chest, her head nuzzled into my neck. I pull her closer to me, my ribs be damned. I won't see her again for seven months and I'm not the least bit happy about it.
“Can't you just go awol.” I glance down at my girlfriend and she twists her head up to look me in my eyes.
I'm trying to determine if she's serious or not because honestly, I've thought about it. Grace and I could run away until the army stopped caring. But we all know that the army wouldn't stop until they hunted me down and brought me before the military courts and all that.
“But I know you have too much integrity to do it.” She pouts and I lean forward to kiss it away.
“You know I would go awol for you if I didn't have so many people I cared about, if it was just you and me.” I explain and she just nods. “I don't want to spend my last day in Santa Barbara laying in bed.” I say and sit up. She looks up at me, begging me with her eyes to give her this. “I don't want to spend it with anyone but you.” I assure her with a head nod. “But I want to take you somewhere.”
“Where?” She quirks a brow.
“Well technically you would have to drive.” I gesture towards my cast covered leg. Only two more weeks and I'll be able to get this thing off, thank goodness!
“Where are we going, Em?” She asks again.
“Just help me off this bed,” I instruct my girlfriend and she helps me up and into my chair. “I'll be right back.” I order her to stay in the den until I came back to get her. I wheel myself down the hall and into the kitchen.
“Good morning daughter.” My mother greets me in a sad tone. I know that me leaving is going to be hard for her. She kinda just got me back.
“Hey ma,” I say in a mimicking tone.
I'm actually sad to be leaving as well and it's not only because I'm leaving Grace behind but my family as well. I've grown so much closer to them over the past three months and it's really hard to say goodbye.
“Did you pick up that thing I asked you to get?” I wheel myself closer to her. She reaches into a purse and hands me the box with a bright smile.
“Now normally I'd be opposed to two twenty-two year olds--”
“It's not what you think mom,” I smile and shake my head.
“Mhm.” Is all she says, with a smile.
“Thanks mom.” I move as close to her as my wheelchair will allow and wrap my arms around her waist. “I love you mom.” I say honestly. She bends down and little and squeezes me tighter.
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
“Oooh hugs!” We hear Tyler shout as he runs towards us. “I want one, I want one!”
When he reaches us I release my mom and pop him up onto my lap; practically squeezing him to death.
“I'm gonna miss you, Em.” He sighs as he squeezes my neck.
“I'm gonna miss you too, bud.” I release him and sit him back down on the floor. “I'll be back a little later before I head to the airport, Grace wanted to know if she could--”
“Of course.” My mother cuts me off, already knowing what I was going to ask. “What time should we expect to be heading out?”
“Around six I guess.” I shrug. "My CO has made arrangements for a PV2 to meet me at the airport to help with transport. He should be getting in on his flight around five I think.” I explain and she just nods.
“Late lunch before you go?” She asks, hopeful. I'd planned on spending the entire day with Grace but I know it would mean a lot to my mom if I spent a little more time with them before I left so I nod and smile. I rub my little brother’s head, he swats my hand away with a chuckle before I turn and wheel myself back to the den.
–
As she wheels me through the graveyard I can't help but smile. This is where it all started. This is where I met the person that would change my life forever. I wouldn't be who I am if it weren't for Grace. I'd probably still be broken and blaming myself for things that I had absolutely no control over. Grace came into my life and showed me what it really means to love someone.
What it really means to live.
“Emma, I'm confused as to why we're here...” She stops wheeling me when we reach McKenzie and George's graves.
“Could you go and buy three flowers from that guy at the gate?” I question as I pull a fifty from my wallet. She nods, taking the bill before jogging off.
“Hey guys.” I turn back to my friends once Grace is out of ear shot. I smile as I remember the conversation I had with them when I was in limbo. “So I'm here today because well I needed to talk to you guys and I needed it to be here.” I start to explain, telling my friends my plan. I can see them both smiling and behind them James as well, he's giving me a thumbs up.
“Emma.” Grace calls to me, pulling me from my mind. She hands me the flowers, I lean down and place a flower on each of their graves. “There's three.” She points out.
“One's for James.” I explain and she smiles as I wheel over towards his head stone. I bend down and put the flower on it. “I'm taking really good care of her.” I whisper.
We stay at his grave for a moment, allowing Grace some time with her brother. She hasn't been here as far a
s I know since the night I met her here. She doesn't need this place to feel close to her brother, like I used to with McKenzie and George. She has her spot and now, thanks to her, I have mine.
“Grace,” I call to her, she looks up to me from her brother’s name.
“Hmm?” She awaits my response.
I reach into my pocket and pull out the box. Her breath hitches. I would have liked to have gotten down on one knee but you know... broken leg and all.
“This isn't exactly how I saw this going.” I chuckle, she moves closer to me. “Grace Cassidy you are the most amazing person I've ever met in my entire life and I don't think there is a perfect combination of words I could string together to explain to you how much I love you... how much you mean to. You brought me back to life, you're the reason my heart beats again and I don't know how I could ever begin to repay you for that. I think that everything happens as it's supposed to and you were brought into my life for whatever reason and I'm not questioning it. I'm just happy to be here and to know and love you.”
I open the box, the look on her face is giving me everything. I know that she loves me as much as I love her.
“I've never met anyone like you, Grace. And I don't want to go a day without you. I know we're too young to get married and that we haven't known each other for long but I wanna give you this.” I take the ring out the box and hold it towards her. “I wanna give you this promise ring and with it I promise to always be here when you need me, to never make you doubt my love for you and most of all I promise to love you as long as I live and breathe.”
She looks as though she wants to cry and it's making me tear up. I've never felt so strongly about someone. I thought I did but what I felt for McKenzie—as much as I loved her—it could never in a million years compare to what I feel for Grace.
“I...I...” She swallows thickly and I stare at her, waiting for her answer.
“So you gonna--”
“Yes.” She cuts me off, standing up to kiss me. “Whatever is you're asking me, yes.” She nods and mumbles against my lips. “I love you so much.” She whispers, and pulls back so I can put the ring on her finger. “Ugh! It's beautiful Emma! I love it!” I smile and pull her back down to me for a kiss.
“Can I ask you something?” She pulls back and looks at me.
“Of course.”
“Why here?” She looks around us.
“This is where is all started,” I state simply and she smiles, leaning down to kiss me again.
–
“This day officially sucks again,” I chuckle at my girlfriend as we pack up my bags and wait for my mom to finish up cooking lunch. After we left the graveyard we visited the beach and my spot one more time. I said goodbye to my friends until my return and thanked James for having an awesome sister.
“I know baby,” I smile as I pull her onto my lap. “But thinking about it constantly isn't gonna change anything, it's just gonna make you sadder and you won't get to enjoy the time we have now. So let's not think about it and just enjoy the rest of the day, okay?” I ask, she pouts and nods.
I kiss away her pout and she puts her hand in my hair, pulling me closer to deepen the kiss. The kiss becomes heated quickly, a guttural moan leaves her body as she slides her tongue easily into my mouth. A fire in the pit of my stomach grows quickly as my lips move against hers and our tongues battle for dominance. She pulls back, biting my lip and I moan as a shiver shoots down my spine.
Yeah... no! She cannot be kissing me like this right now.
I pull back and she whimpers. “I'm trying to enjoy the time I have left.” She whines out.
“Grace Cassidy you are doing things to my body right now that I cannot and will not be able to control if you don't stop it!” I point an accusatory finger at her cause I know she knew what she was doing just now.
“Fine.” She pulls back and stands up from my lap just as my mom comes in.
“Lunch is ready,” she smiles at us.
“Okay mom, we'll be there in a minute.” I tell her, she nods and leaves; closing the door behind her.
“I don't think I can do this Em.” Grace says suddenly, I turn to look at her confused.
“Do what baby?” I pull her back down into my lap.
“Watch you walk out of my life,” she says and turns, not able to look at me.
“Technically I'd be wheeling out.” I try to joke to lighten the mood. She chuckles a little and I know I've succeeded. “Look at me.” I grab her chin and gently turn her head to look at me.
The sadness in her eyes breaks my heart. I clear my throat and fight back my own set of tears.
“I know that this is going to suck, I hate that I have to be away from you for seven months, hell I hate it when I have to be away from you for seven seconds. This is a commitment I made and I don't want to get into the habit of breaking commitments. I want to be the girl you fell in love with and show you that I am everything you claim me to be.” I stare her straight in her eyes. “I love you Grace Cassidy and I promise you that no matter how far I am from you, you will always be in my heart and mind.” I finish up, pulling her down for another kiss.
“Promise to write me every day?” She mumbles against my lips.
“I promise, and we'll Skype as much as I can. Okay?” I ask and she nods. I peck her lips again quickly before we head to the dining room to join the family for lunch.
–
“Take me with you, Emma please,” Tyler whines as I wheel him on my wheelchair towards the security checkpoint.
My family and Grace close behind. During lunch the Diaz's, Cassidy's and Williams' came over briefly to say goodbye again. It was a pleasant surprise and even more of a surprise when Grace proudly showed off the ring I got her. No it's not an engagement ring but it's damn close, because I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
“I wish I could buddy, I'd take all of you with me, but the Army doesn't really like civilians traveling with soldiers overseas.” He pouts and I chuckle at my little brother's cuteness.
“I can fit in that bag.” He points to the bigger bag that the PV2 is holding for me. I laugh and shake my head.
“I wouldn't dare put you in that stinky bag bud. You're way too valuable to me.” I ruffle his hair and kiss his forehead. “Hop down bud, I've got to say goodbye to mom, dad and Grace.” I instruct him, he does so but not before wrapping his tiny arms around my neck and squeezing me tightly.
“I love you, Emma,” he whispers.
“I love you too, Ty.” I reply just as softly, like it's our little secret.
He finally hops down and runs to wrap his arms around our fathers' leg. I poke out my bottom lip, I hate that I have to leave the little guy.
“Promise you'll call us whenever you can.” My mom leans down and hugs me.
“I promise mom.” She pulls back, kissing my cheek.
“Be safe over there honey please.” She says and chokes a little on her words. I grab her hand and nod.
“I promise mom, don't worry about me. I'm coming back.” I smile and she nods once, stepping aside so my dad can give me a hug.
“I'm so proud of you sweetheart,” he says as he hugs me tightly.
“Proud of me for what dad?” I ask when we pull back.
“Being so strong.” He nods and smiles softly. I pull him back down for another hug.
“I'm just like my parents,” I say softly and he chokes out a laugh.
I can tell he's about to cry. I don't think I've ever see my dad cry before. He pulls back, wiping at his face and moving to the side. Grace is standing behind him, looking down at the ground. She has yet to say goodbye and even though it's her turn she's not moving. I give my parents a look and they understand. I don't have to say anything to Private Jackson, he walks away on his own.
I wheel closer to her, stopping directly in front of her. She continues to look at the ground so I lean forward and put my head in her line of sight. She's crying. I sit back, pulling her face up to look at me, b
rushing away her tears with my thumbs.
“Don't cry,” I say pathetically as I feel my own tears building.
“I was trying not to,” she says and swallows thickly as her tears continue to fall. “I just don't know how I can go seven--”
“We can do this.” I nod. “I know that we can. This love we have Grace, this unexpected love, is worth everything to me and I never want to lose you so I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that never happens. Seven months will go by so fast it'll feel like I've only been away a couple of weeks.” I try to assure her. She sighs and takes a seat on my lap.
“I've never loved anyone as much as I love you,” she whispers and I can't help but smile as the tears that were threatening to fall finally do.
“Ditto,” I reply as she wipes away my tears.
“Weeks huh?” She forces a smile, I do the same and nod. “Write me everyday, Emma Daniels.” She points a stern finger at me and I nod. “If you don't then when you get back you're gonna be in so much trouble.” She says and I quirk a brow.
“Will I get a spanking?” I lean forward and whisper. She chuckles lightly and nods her head.
“Yes but you won't like it.” She tries to not make that statement sexy but coming from her lips... everything is sexy.
“I'm sorry to interrupt Corporal, but we really have to get going or we're going to miss our flight.” I nod and he backs away.
“Come here.” I pull her down and kiss her gently. Closing my eyes as my lips move against hers. I've never felt so complete so happy... no, Grace doesn't have to worry. I don't care what it takes I'm coming back to her if it's the last thing I do.
“I love you,” I say against her lips.
“I love you too,” She replies, kissing me again. Private Jackson clears his throat and I know it's time to go.
Grace stands up from my lap and I sigh. My parents and little brother walk over and give me another hug, followed by the love of my life and now I really have to go. I turn and start wheeling towards security. I turn to look at my loved ones once more, I give them a small wave. I never imagined I'd miss Santa Barbara, but now all I'm thinking about is the next time I get to be here... to be with them.