“The bedding and dishes and kitchen crap are in boxes on shelves, or do you think she’ll want to buy her own?” Axel asked.
Definitely, she wouldn’t want him picking out anything for her. But it wasn’t in his nature to be petty.
“We can start her off with the basics,” he said flatly starting back into the barn. “She has a lot to do, and August and Catalina are hoping to open the tasting room next weekend.”
He wouldn’t be here for the opening.
He’d be finishing the last leg of the tour before the finals in Vegas.
Where would they even be then?
Talking? Hating each other? What if she wanted to give the baby up for adoption? His soul shriveled.
“Get those two boxes there.” Axel was right behind him, reaching for the biggest box that he hadn’t even made the attempt to lift because he’d been caught in the nightmare scenario his brain had kicked out. “I’ll get this and the other, and that should get her through a few weeks at least. We can order basics for groceries to be delivered.”
He closed his eyes. They stung like he had dust in them.
“Keep moving, Anders. It’s easier.”
He knew. Of course Axel knew his little brother had fucked up and was not dealing. Axel had always been there for him, for August. When he’d only been a young teen himself, Axel had taken over for their mother and father after their brother Aurik had died.
Anders straightened and grabbed the two boxes, mentally kicking himself. He didn’t have time for angsty self-recrimination or pity. They finished loading. He slammed the tailgate of his truck hard enough to rock it and then went back to the barn to take a last look.
His eyes lingered on the handmade oak crib. She hadn’t picked that to load in the truck. His daddy had made the crib. Axel, August, Aurik, and then he had all slept in it.
“She doesn’t want the baby,” he said when he heard Axel re-enter the barn and stand next to him.
“Needs time to adjust to the idea, I expect.”
“What if she doesn’t?” He looked at Axel and anguish squeezed his heart.
“Then you deal with it then.”
It was so Axel. Simple. True. Saying everything while seeming to say nothing.
“She got family to help her?”
Guilt washed through him. He’d almost Googled her once but then thought that was stalkerish, that she’d tell him what she wanted him to know.
“I asked August if he knew.” Anders searched Axel’s body language for signs of judgment. “He said she hadn’t listed next of kin on her employment application, but that’s all he said.”
“We’re her family now.” Axel didn’t hesitate, and relief washed through Anders.
He’d started a list on his phone of all the people he needed to contact and what he had to do to prepare for becoming a father. He wanted everything in place well before the baby came. He had a dangerous job. He was good but bad rides were part of the job.
He took out his phone and added making an appointment with the family lawyer. Would he have to adopt his own child? And then what? How could he parent if he was gone for half a week for much of the year?
He felt like he’d swallowed a bucket of ice.
His brother had quit the tour for him. Quit when he was on top. Left his dream and never once complained or threw it in his face.
“Axel, do you think…?” He could barely squeeze the words out. “When you left the tour how did you—?” He broke off, not sure what he really wanted to ask. He felt like he was sixteen again and learning that their father had died. He’d been unable to process it, but Axel had been there. Steady. Confident. Taking over. Letting him find his own feet.
“Let’s go set up the apartment. I’m picking Diego up from school to take him to go look at a horse.”
“Okay.” Anders didn’t know if he was relieved or ashamed. He’d wanted to talk to his brother about so many things—from their past and from now—but it was hard and likely would have embarrassed them both.
Axel walked to his truck, opened the door, took off his Stetson, and then turned back. “You got about six months, Anders. Give her time. Give yourself time.”
He got in, slammed the door, and started the engine. He rolled down the window and grinned. “If you can’t figure out how to win her over in that time, you don’t deserve to have her.”
Anders felt something in his chest ease.
“Don’t make me knock some sense back into you,” Axel growled. “Get back on your horse, cowboy. No quitters on my watch.”
“Not on mine either,” he echoed and swung himself into the cab of his truck and gunned the engine. Nothing like a competition to make this errand a bit of fun and get his balance back.
*
“This perk does not suck,” Tinsley said much later that the afternoon while she and Catalina lounged on comfortable recliners poolside at Ghost Hill’s main house. It had taken her more than a few minutes to pull herself together after her unaccustomed burst of honesty. She’d wanted to stay in charge. She’d wanted to push Anders away.
Mission accomplished. Only she felt no triumph.
Professionally, today had been fulfilling. She’d met the cellar crew, sampled quite a few wines from the barrel—spitting of course. Then Catalina had driven her through the massive vineyards on a Gator, telling her about the different blocks—the clones, varietals, soil, elevation. Tinsley had learned about wine from sommeliers, but Catalina’s enthusiasm was infectious.
It was just Tinsley’s personal life that seemed an irredeemable hot mess.
She began to feel like herself again—not just a woman with an unexpected and not at all welcome pregnancy.
Tinsley found herself excited to help build a wine and vineyard brand “from the roots up.” She no longer felt as if she was making an epic mistake, committing herself to two years. The work would be challenging, creative and consuming. And since it seemed Anders wanted to play a role in his child’s life, building a career in Last Stand made sense.
You’re getting way out in front of your horse. Two years was not a lifetime commitment. And it definitely wasn’t a promise to Anders. But even if she left Verflucht after two years, Texas was big and the economy vibrant. It wasn’t like she’d head back to the east coast ever.
“This house is like something out of a movie or one of those homes of the rich and famous shows. I still pinch myself every day when I come home.” Catalina looked around at the landscaped paver-style patio, the beautiful pool, the colorful ceramic pots with olive and fruit trees, the covered patio with the full outdoor kitchen, wagon-wheel drop-down chandeliers over the massive picnic table. There was even an outdoor fire pit with seating.
Tinsley had grown up in a house much grander—but utterly sterile. Her mom never would have permitted inflatable white swans to float on the water or towels to be strewn on a lounger.
“I always loved this house when I was a kid, although August has super-sized the main living room,” Catalina said dreamily, staring at the pool where the inflatable white swan floated lazily into the hot pink flamingo inflatable. Tinsley would have loved to have lounged on the pool toys and floated with the current created by the upper level hot tub water feature that flowed down a rock feature and into the partial lazy river that circled part of the pool.
“I think I spent more time here than at my own house. I always wished August’s mom was mine. She was so beautiful and kind. She taught me to cook.”
“That would have been hella awkward considering how things turned out for you and August,” Tinsley noted.
Catalina laughed.
“That should teach me not to rail against fate,” Catalina mused, resting one palm lovingly on her small baby bump. “I left Last Stand after my high school graduation and swore I’d never come back, but fate and a Wolf brother sure do mess with plans.” She sighed and smiled.
Tinsley was not so sanguine about fate, nor did she have any desire to lovingly cup her stomach, which
was still flat—thank God. It was going to take time to come to terms with the changes in her body and her life, but she couldn’t imagine herself ever being one of those women.
Catalina wore a light blue bikini, and Tinsley had been trying not to stare at her slight baby bump since they had both come back hot and thirsty from the tour of the vineyard and winery. When would she start to show? When would she…yuck…have to buy maternity clothes?
“Second thoughts?” Catalina asked.
So many second, third and fourth thoughts.
“About the job? No,” Tinsley answered.
“Liar,” Catalina accused. “I can hear your doubts from here.”
Tinsley stood up from the lounger and walked a few feet to the wide blue tile staircase and stepped into the pool.
“I loved working the sponsor events on the tour,” she said. “It was fun, and I loved the challenge, but I was ready for a change. Verflucht is a good fit now,” Tinsley said sitting down and leaning back on the stairs so she could watch a few fat white clouds lazing against the endless blue.
“But I’d be lying if I said I don’t have doubts about having a baby. I wasn’t thinking about kids or settling down. And my mom was not an example I would want to emulate.”
Massive understatement.
“Mine too,” Catalina surprised her by admitting. “She took my teen beauty pageant sister and left my dad, brothers, and me and never looked back.”
Tinsley blinked.
“So we both have steep learning curves ahead,” Catalina said. “Good thing I like to read. I’m thinking we will need a parenting library up at the house. Maybe throw in a few books on relationships for the boys.”
“Not necessary,” Tinsley said. “Anders and I are not dating and aren’t in a relationship.”
She sat down on a lower stair so that her body was immersed to her neck. Some of her hair tumbled into the water, and she let it. She loved swimming and being in water, but the pool was chillier than she’d thought, and a breeze had sprung up.
She could feel Catalina’s attention burning a hole in the back of her head.
“So if you have any fantasies of matchmaking, abandon ship. I don’t even want to talk to Anders right now.” She stood up and water streamed off her as she walked back to the longer and picked up the neatly folded plush blue and white beach towel. Tinsley wrapped it around her body. “He strapped my bike in the back of his truck and thinks he somehow has something to say about my life. We aren’t even dating.”
“Yet.” Catalina shaded her eyes and looked up at her.
Tinsley sat back down and stretched out. “Never,” she said. “He’s acting all choirboy, talking about responsibility. He even gulped and dragged out the archaic shotgun wedding imagery as if Texas is still back in territory days—like I want a man hanging around out of duty.”
“Duty?” Catalina had been taking a sip of ice tea and it nearly shot out her nose. Instead she spit the ice tea out on the patio.
“He’s probably on his knees at the church right now lighting candles and thanking any saint who will listen that he made a baby with you so he can lasso you but good.”
Tinsley sat up and, boss or no boss, she glared at Catalina.
“I’m shocked he’s not yet gunning that big monster truck out of town,” Tinsley retorted.
Anders Wolf desired her body. That was all. And in another few months, they wouldn’t even have that between them. “Anders and I are not a thing.” She waved her hand. “We had a very brief thing and both ended it. The oops doesn’t change that.”
“We don’t know each other all that well yet, but you are way, way off course if you think Anders Wolf is going to make a baby with you and then stroll off into the Texas sunset.”
“I pictured him driving off to the next tour date,” Tinsley said calmly, but she could feel her heart start to pound again. She felt too edgy to just sit here, hearing Catalina speculate or tease her about what Anders would or wouldn’t do next.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw August and Anders come out on the patio, wearing swim trunks, and she had to force herself not to notice that Anders wore no shirt.
“I love your spirit; play hard to get all you want,” Catalina said. “Anders loves a challenge, and women have never been that for him, so have your fun while you can. The Wolfs are all about family. Girl, you’re going to get lassoed, tied down, branded.” She picked up her ice tea and drank a deep sip.
Tinsley stood quickly and looked for an escape, but the world tilted crazily. Dimly, she could hear Catalina talking, but she sounded far away.
Tinsley found it hard to breathe. Her vision blurred and her hearing felt muffled. But far off she heard a high-pitched ringing. She sat back down and bent over. She needed to lower her head. And a paper bag, right? She tried to suck in air, but her throat felt squeezed shut, and she clawed at it. Her heart rate accelerated.
She squeezed her eyes closed, feeling beyond ridiculous. She hadn’t had a panic attack in years and now twice in one day.
She didn’t want to be that woman—the head case. The fragile one.
“Tinsley.” Catalina’s hand was small and light on her shoulder.
She couldn’t get enough air. The baby needed air. Panic soared through her.
“I got you.” Anders was there.
And then she was lifted out of the lounger and held tight against a hard, warm, very male body.
“Look at me. You’re fine. Breathe. Breath in with me to my count. In one. Two. Three. Four. Five. Hold. Out one. Two. Three. Four. Five. Again.”
Tinsley stared at Anders. His eyes were bluer than the sky. Bluer than the pool she wanted to jump into so she could swim away from everyone. She breathed in and out and felt her heart stop slamming.
“That’s good.”
She felt so stupid. He must be so irritated, yet he looked concerned.
“I want to go,” she said. “I need to get out of here.”
Chapter Nine
“This is not the tasting room.” Tinsley stated the obvious as Anders pulled his truck into a parking lot near a medical building adjacent to Jameson Hospital. At his request, Catalina had called her OB for an emergency appointment, and the OB was seeing her at the clinic instead of the emergency room.
“I need to go to the apartment. Take a shower and get my bike. I was supposed to have dinner at the ranch. I can ride back. Where’d you put my bike?”
“Baby. Tinsley.” He clung to his calm when he really wanted to swoop her up and run into the building. But he needed her cooperation or else he’d be dealing with Police Chief Shane Highwater locking him up on kidnapping charges. “Dinner can wait. The ranch can wait. Catalina and August can wait.”
“We just left. No explanation.” She pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead. “It’s so unprofessional. I acted unprofessionally.”
“Give yourself a break. It’s a lot to take in.” He personally felt like his skin was going to peel off and he would fly apart into a million or billion atoms or however many the human body was comprised of—August would know.
“I feel sick. I want to lie down.”
“That’s why we’re seeing the doctor. Do you have a headache?”
“Yes, it’s worse.”
What was going on with her? He had to fix this. What if the pregnancy was hurting her? What if something was wrong with the baby?
To hell with being the nice guy. He swore, got out of the truck and marched to the other side, opened the passenger door and scooped Tinsley out still wrapped in the blue and white towel over the very sexy bronze bikini that he’d been trying hard to not notice when the towel had slipped down during his rushed ride into town.
He carried her into the clinic. Put her down in a chair and checked her in, bringing the paperwork to her.
“Anders, I can make my own appointment.”
“I know.”
“Doctor appointments are private,” she said. “Ever heard of HIPAA laws?”
“The baby is mine as well,” he said, feeling drained. Did she really intend to fight him on everything? Shut him out of everything?
He sat next to her.
“I know but—” She began filling out the paperwork. She sighed.
“I know I messed up, Tinsley. I am sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.” Her eyes looked even more amber. “Anders, you did everything right. We were just unlucky.”
And that was the problem, he thought, feeling like she’d punched him in the chest. He didn’t want to think about the baby as bad luck. He kicked out his feet, assuming a relaxed pose that he was a million miles away from feeling. Hell of a way to start a life. Bad luck.
He didn’t look at her as she filled out the paperwork.
Her name was called, and he stood, his arm out to help her get up.
“Not a whale yet,” she said, obviously trying to soften the rejection and go for humor, but the joke fell flat. “You don’t need to wait. I can walk to the tasting room from here.”
“The baby is my child too,” he said softly, leaning toward her so no one could overhear or see his expression. “I am not a man who ignores his child’s health or the health of its mother. Once I know that you and our child are fine, I will take you to your new apartment and leave you alone tonight. Am I clear?”
“Very. But, Anders…” Her hand was on the bare skin of his arm. He’d been in such a rush to get Tinsley into his truck and to the doctor’s he’d taken off without his shirt. Catalina had chased after him waving it like a flag. She’d tossed it to him through the open window with a grin saying that he didn’t want to have any viral videos of him striding bare-chested through hospital corridors. But her eyes had been worried.
“Anders, I’m fine. Really. I feel fine now.” Tinsley’s beautiful darkly golden gaze searched his.
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