by H. A. Wills
Back in Phoenix, I had one accident after the next the year I turned fourteen-- practically had a permanent room at the hospital because of how often I was there-- and not one of the investigators thought something might be wrong. Sudden billowing smoke coming from our home at odd hours? Me disappearing for entire summers? Having a basement with heavy doors and locks? My father’s extensive collection of cleaning supplies? Not one red flag. I was tortured for years and nobody noticed.
Hell, the first car accident that started it all--and required the Jaws of Life to get my mangled body out of—not once did they consider the Bastard might have done it. They always saw him as the victim. The poor professor stuck with a spoiled daughter that kept putting herself in harm’s way to get Daddy’s attention. It was like they intentionally refused to see the evidence right in front of their eyes.
I don’t expect much better from these officers since they scream ineptitude, as witnessed by Felix, who is keeping an eye on the one guy attempting to find evidence. So far, he has collected dirt into baggies and stared dumbfounded at the scorch marks streaking up the side of the house.
“Yeah, I heard about the Jacobs,” I say with a sneer, hands fisted at my sides, and trying to shake my horrible memories. “I also heard you’ve found exactly jack squat about the people that did it, and it’s been nearly five months since they were killed.”
“The investigation is ongoing,” badged-asshole-number-two counters, crossing his arms in an attempt to seem intimidating.
“If by ‘ongoing’ you mean doing nothing, then yeah, it looks like it’ll be ongoing indefinitely,” I fire back, getting right into his face. “So what was the plan? Were you hoping more dead bodies would pop up for you to fail at it a second time?”
“Callie, that’s enough,” Mildred orders, giving me a hard stare. “They’re only trying to give us some professional advice, if in the most condescending way possible.”
“Bullshit,” I screech, and wind starts whipping through the trees. “They don’t know anything, and they’re just trying to cover their asses. An entire family murdered and…”
“Ma’am, if you don’t get your niece in line, we’ll have to bring her down to the station,” badged-asshole-number-one warns, his hand hovering near his belt.
“I’d like to see you fucking try…” I threaten, my words climbing high in surprise, when I’m hoisted over someone’s shoulder fireman style.
It’s only when I notice the flannel and more condensed foresty smell that I realize it’s Connor. Apparently, I was so focused on Tweedles Dee and Dumb that I didn’t notice when the guys arrived.
While Connor hauls me off toward the house without a word, Nolan slides into my now vacated spot with a charismatic smile and possibly some vampire voodoo, because the officers seem to relax immediately in his presence.
“Let’s take a breath,” he encourages, his hands casually in his pockets and posture inviting. “It’s been a trying morning for everyone, so tempers are bound to run high.”
“Don’t apologize for me!” I bellow, my trailing shadow resembling a troll doll. “I bet they don’t find shit. They couldn’t find their asses with both hands and a flashlight!”
Connor’s whole body shakes with suppressed laughter, and I smack his back, the hard muscles not giving at all.
“It’s not funny!” I grunt, trying to leverage myself more level than hanging ragdoll. “They’re worthless!”
Connor doesn’t respond, which isn’t surprising, but when I continue to kick and squirm, he does pull me down to his chest, with one arm around my back and the other across my thighs. I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, if only so I’m not some dangling idiot.
“Both hands and a flashlight?” Donovan chuckles, opening the front door for Connor, and subsequently me.
“Fuck them,” I curse, so much adrenaline pumping through me I’m practically seeing red. “And fuck you too!”
“Fuck me?” Donovan grunts, him and Kaleb following us inside of the house. “What did I do?”
“Nothing,” I bark, my fingers digging into Connor’s back.
“Okay,” he replies, the word elongating to encompass how crazy I sound, while he leans against the kitchen counter. “What the hell happened? You were fine when we left.”
Felix pops in at that moment, his initial expression of disappointment shifting to one of confusion. “Uh, the um, CSI dude just finished. He collected a few samples, but it doesn’t look like they really found anything.”
“That,” I yell, pointing sharply at Felix. “That’s why I’m mad. I knew they were worthless!”
“You knew ahead of time…” Kaleb starts to ask, but I interrupt him.
“You know what? Fuck ‘em. Let him come! The psycho is welcome to try me on. He’s in for a rude awakening when I take whatever he has and keep right on going after him.” Whipping my head toward Donovan, I demand, “I need to train more.”
“Sure, we can do that,” he replies slowly like I’m a wild animal about to rip his arm off.
Honestly, he’s not far off the mark. I want to tear someone apart with my teeth. I want to destroy. I want to make sure no one ever fucks with me again. The wind picks up, starting to rattle the windows, and my breaths are harsh gasps of unquenchable rage.
Felix tries to say something, his eyes wide and his brows drawn down in helplessness, but all I can hear is the thundering of my heart.
“He won’t hurt anyone again,” I promise, meeting his gaze, tears spilling over my lashes. “I won’t let him. I won’t!”
My face contorts, the tendons of my throat straining, with a pain that has no name. It reaches from deep inside me to meld with my rage, stealing my breath and leaving me choking.
Connor squeezes me tight, his arms solid around me. I cling to him like I’m drowning, my hands clenching fistfuls of his shirt so tight that I can feel my nails bite through the fabric into my palms.
Kaleb reaches up, brushing my hair from my face, a wealth of compassion emanating from his warm brown eyes.
“Who, Callie?” Kaleb murmurs gently, his thumb catching my renegade tears. “Who won’t hurt anyone again? Are we still talking about Felix?”
From that cautious probe for the truth, the locks break. Everything I pushed down pours out of me like putrid poison manifesting itself in unending tears. Connor walks me from the kitchen and sits down on the L shaped couch, adjusting me so my head now comfortably rests against his shoulder facing toward the other guys. My legs are still wrapped around his waist and dig into the back couch cushions, but I don’t care.
He runs his hand up my back, carefully pushes my hair to one side, and starts massaging light circles behind my ears, murmuring comforting words in Spanish. I don’t know what they mean, but his tone is low and soft, the sounds of safety.
“It’s time, pretty girl,” Felix pleads, squatting near Connor’s feet and looking up into my eyes. “You don’t have to tell them everything, but they need to know how bad it really was.”
“I don’t…” I sniffle, my vision blurry from my tears. “I don’t want you all to look at me differently.”
Kaleb sits down next Connor on the couch, careful not go through Felix. Resting his forearms on his knees, hands dangling between them, he twists to look into my eyes.
“No matter what you share, you’ll still be Callie to us,” he assures, echoing what I said to him at the party.
“Yeah, the cool nerdy girl that blows stuff up when she’s mad,” Felix adds with a wobbly smile.
“Or knocks it down with gale force winds,” Donovan mutters from the kitchen.
Kaleb groans, pinching the bridge of his nose, but the teasing has the desired effect. I laugh, and the winds settle.
“Alright, I’ll try,” I whisper, closing my eyes and taking deep even breaths.
“I’ll go get Nolan,” Donovan announces before heading out the front door.
With the adrenaline no longer fueling me, I hiss with pain an
d pull my necklace out from under my shirt.
“What’s wrong?” Kaleb asks, noticing me wince.
“So good news bad news about the necklace,” I answer with a tight smile. “Good news, it’s kept half the town from going boom. Bad news, it gets wicked hot doing it, so when my magic surges, it burns my skin. But I’m fine, really.”
“Ooooh,” Felix responds, the word taking on several syllables, and sits back on his heels. “That’s why you were looking down your shirt. Ouch.”
I nod listlessly, and Connor growls, his body tensing beneath me.
“Small price in the grand scheme,” I sigh, rubbing his back to soothe him. “Hopefully, this isn’t a permanent feature, but more because of the binding spell.”
“May I?” Kaleb asks, motioning toward my necklace.
“Yeah, it should be fine now,” I answer. “It cools pretty fast after I’ve calmed down.”
Connor turns his head and sneezes.
“And now I know why,” I sigh, while Felix and Kaleb try to suppress their laughter.
Kaleb gently handles the stone hanging around my neck, his thumb rubbing across its smooth surface. “This absorbs your magic and then expels it safely?”
“As far as I understand it,” I answer with a shrug. “It’s some super important family heirloom. Even has a wolf carved onto the back of it.”
Felix crowds Kaleb to get a better look and comments, “The color swirls kind of remind me of the Avatar nations and how each element was color coded. You know, the fire nation was red, the earth nation was green, the water nation blue, and the air nation was yellow.”
“That’s a cartoon,” Kaleb groans, releasing the stone so it once again hangs loosely around my neck, “and furthermore, the last color is white, not yellow.”
“Thank you, Captain Literal,” Felix quips with an eye roll. “All I’m saying is spirit witches control all the elements, and this big family heirloom just coincidentally has colors that are associated with those elements.”
“If this thing is special to spirit witches, maybe it’ll be in the journal. We could all…” I’m interrupted by Donovan and Nolan entering through the front door, both of their expressions braced for what they’re about to hear.
Right, details about what happened to me. This is going to be fun.
“Mildred is still dealing with the cops outside,” Donovan informs us.
Nolan adds, “We can wait for her if you want.”
I shake my head, guilt weighing heavily inside me. It’s selfish, but I’m not ready for her to know how bad it was. All the horror her sister’s husband inflicted on their only daughter.
While they grab chairs from the kitchen table, forgoing the single armchair or the couch, I reposition myself so I’m no longer clinging to Connor, instead sitting in his lap and fully facing the others. His arms wrap around my waist, and it feels like I’m having a flashback to less than a week ago.
Donovan and Nolan move the coffee table and sit in front of me, Kaleb stays on my right on the couch, and Felix sits on the floor by my feet. All of them are silently waiting for me to start.
It hurts too much to look into their faces as I tell them more of my truth, so my gaze shifts to one of the kitchen windows. Outside, the winds are now gentle. There are bits of sunlight making their way through the clouds and dappling across the myriad of fall colors among the maple, fir, and pine trees.
“I told you my father abused me, and I told you what triggers me, but…” My voice cracks, and I clear my throat. “I um… it’s time for you to maybe know why they trigger me.”
Connor takes one of my hands and Kaleb takes the other, trying to lend me their support, and I continue to stare out the window. I watch a small brown bird, I have no idea what kind, flit from branch to branch of a maple tree, camouflaging in and out within the fall leaves.
“The stairs are probably obvious… he used to drag me down them from the second floor to the basement,” I inform them, fighting for detachment. To make this a statement of facts, because I’m tired. I’m tired of its control, and I’m tired of feeling. “The basement is where everything happened.”
Out of the corners of my eyes, I notice the guys tense. Donovan leans forward, elbows braced on his knees, hands clasped together, and there’s already a strain in his jaw. Nolan sits back, legs crossed, arms wrapped around himself, fortifying himself for what’s to come. Felix looks up at me, support and sadness weighing equal measures on his face, and the subtle golden glow of his skin mixes with the golden sunlight peeking through one of the bay windows.
I feel like I’m standing on the edge of no return, and it frightens me. Not only does telling them mean they’ll likely never look at me the same, but it also makes it real. Really real. Once I give it words, then I can no longer pretend it didn’t happen or that it can’t hurt me anymore.
The details will have to wait for another day, but I can give them the facts. I’ll give them the truth.
Releasing a shuddering breath, concentrating on the bird, I confess, “I hate baseball bats because he used to beat me with them until all my bones were shattered. I hate large knives because he used to cut me hundreds of times --he even cut off a few fingers. And I hate… fire… because he…” I start to break down and have to fight for the last words. “He’d… tie me down… and he… lit me on… fire.”
Closing my eyes, I let the tears drip down my cheeks and wait for their reactions.
“Son of a bitch is dead,” Donovan shouts, kicking out his chair and storming out of the house. The door slams so hard behind him that the windows rattle, and within moments, there’s a crashing sound of something breaking.
It starts.
Connor feels like stone beneath me, and there’s a deep rumbling growl emanating from his throat. He releases my hand so he can pick me up, Kaleb’s hand also dropping away, and I startle as he deposits me onto Nolan’s lap, who barely has enough reaction time to uncross his legs and open his arms to catch me. There’s a hardness in Connor’s amber eyes, as he runs a hand over the top of my head and then charges out the front door.
I cry harder when I hear the muffled yelling, followed by a hard slam of a body being shoved against the side of the house, and for a few moments, we sit in silence, listening as Donovan and Connor start to beat the crap out of each other.
“I shouldn’t have said anything,” I whimper, dropping my face into my hands.
Nolan pulls me tight against his chest, and there’s a wetness to his voice when he replies, “No, Callie love, you did the right thing. I’m so… fuck, sorry seems…”
“Inadequate,” Felix offers, with a sad, knowing tone.
Kaleb takes the longest to respond, and I peek through my fingers to see his expression-- furrowed brow, eyes glassy, his jaw trembling as he presses his lips together.
“That’s what you saw?” he whispers, folding his hands in front of his mouth.
“I saw the fire,” Felix answers.
Before anyone can figure out what to say next, my aunt opens the front door, frowning with her mouth open like she’s about to say something, when she witnesses us all huddled in the living room.
“I see,” she states cryptically, her eyes narrowing to protective mode squint, then closes the door behind her.
“What exactly did she see?” Felix asks, standing up and walking over into the kitchen. “I feel she saw more than we think she saw.”
“What?” Nolan replies, his bafflement taking over some of his melancholy.
With a harsh sniff, I look up at the window Felix is standing by just in time to watch both Donovan and Connor whiz past as if something picked them up and hurled them across the yard.
“Holy shit!” Felix exclaims, pointing outside. “Mildred just air-magic bended them like they were nothing.”
“It’s not…,” Kaleb begins to correct, then shakes his head. “I give up.”
I release a soft chuckle, then my aunt walks purposely past the window, fists on hips, and I won
der if I should go out there.
Felix leans forward and pokes his head through the window. After a moment, he pulls back inside with some mischievous humor in his eyes.
“They’re getting chewed out by Mildred,” he reports with delight. “The words ‘I’m disappointed in you’ were used. Is it too much to ask for a rolled up newspaper to bonk Connor on the nose? Just once.”
More wet laughter, which was clearly what Felix was aiming for, his natural smile having hints of relief.
My aunt comes back into the house alone, even going so far as to brush her hands back and forth as if to wash herself of the situation.
“They’re going for a walk to cool off,” she informs us with a tight smile. “As for you two boys, time to get to school before you’re missed.” Walking into the kitchen, she starts to fill the kettle with water. “Callie dear, if you’d like, you can stay home. Perhaps we could get your permit today? Get something good out of this blasted, ugly morning.”
Nolan and Kaleb trade nervous looks and Felix offers, “I’ll stay with her today and let you know if anything happens.”
I get up from Nolan’s lap, his hands slipping away, and though my body trembles with the aftershock of extreme emotions, I do my best to stand tall.
“It’s alright,” I say, doing my best to seem normal. “I’m really tired, so I think… I think I’d like to take a nap or something. Could you guys get my homework and everything?”
Asking for help was the right thing to do because both Kaleb and Nolan walk their chairs back to the kitchen table.
“I can get your homework and books,” Kaleb announces, retrieving the chair Donovan kicked over.
“Do you need my locker combination?” I ask, pulling my sleeves over my hands and chewing on my lip.
Kaleb looks mildly embarrassed and murmurs, “No, I already know it.” Then taps the side of his head to explain.
Near perfect memory.
Nolan approaches me, his ice blue eyes still damp despite his normal smile pasted across his lips. With both hands, he cups my face, and my heart nearly leaps out of my chest when he kisses the top of my head.