by H. A. Wills
“This is where my parents taught me to fly when I was little,” I share, then point to a large fir tree behind us. “I actually broke my arm when I was five running into that tree-- I was chasing after a Western Tanager and didn’t notice the branches.”
She giggles, covering her mouth with both hands. “How did you not notice the branches?”
“I was a kid and the bird was brightly colored,” I answer with a shrug. “Seems I’ve always been prone to tunnel vision.”
Callie shifts so she’s once again standing next to me and bumps my arm with her shoulder. “There’s nothing wrong with being dedicated and focused.”
“As long as I don’t miss the forest for the trees?” I chuckle with a light bump back.
“More like the branches for the tree,” she teases.
We’re both quiet for a moment, simply existing in the stillness of the night far away from the demands of our lives below.
It’s only when Callie shivers, rubbing her arms, that she pokes me in the side and grumbles, “How are you shirtless and not cold?”
“Well, there was the workout I just had doing flips and stuff in the air while holding a roughly hundred-pound girl in my arms. That can generate some body heat,” I reply, opening my arms to invite her to share my warmth.
“I’m a hundred and ten pounds, thank you very much,” she mutters, snuggling in close. “Remind me if we do this again to wear my leather jacket. Up here, I might as well be wearing tissue paper.”
I can’t help the smile that skates across my lips at the idea of doing this again. To see her laughing and cheering and know that it’s because of me. Expanding my wings, I curl them around us into a small cocoon that the breeze can’t break through.
She sighs, resting her head against my chest, with her hands hidden in her sleeves and arms around my waist. I rub her lower back, then when she groans, I slip my hands underneath her baggy sweater so I can better get at the tight muscles.
“That feels nice,” she murmurs, her face shifting until I can almost feel her lips on my skin. “I’m glad I can do this now. For years no one really touched me… well, in a good way. I don’t think I’m ready to hug random strangers or anything, but this… I like this.”
Warmth blooms within me at her words. This is all I’ve wanted for her. Safety. Peace. Happiness. I know this is only a slice of a stolen moment and that our lives will rush back in as soon as we leave this cliffside, but I feel good knowing I could give this to her.
“I like it, too,” I reply, my fingers climbing up her spine to work on the next set of knots.
“Can I tell you something?” she whispers, her tone having the fragile quality of a confession.
I swallow heavily and nod, pulling one hand out from under her sweater to cradle the back of her head. Back to serious conversations.
“You can tell me anything,” I murmur into her hair.
Her fingers slide from her sleeves and press into my back. “I’m scared.”
“Of who started the fire? One of us could stay with you or you could stay with one of us if it’d make you feel safer.” I wince remembering this afternoon. “I wouldn’t recommend staying with Connor, but Nolan’s or my house would be fine.”
She shakes her head, her face now fully pressed against my bare chest, and I can feel the words that pour from her lips, “I’m scared of myself. Every day, it feels like I learn something new about what I am, and it just keeps upping the scale of destruction I can unleash.” She releases a shuddering breath. “I have nightmares about it now-- and my nightmares already sucked; I didn’t need new ones.”
“What do you mean ‘destruction you can unleash’?” I question, making sure my voice stays even and soothing.
“Right, you don’t know. I really need to start a newsletter,” she laughs wetly. “Short version, I may be called a witch, but I have power close to what people consider god-like. Think old-testament-- can create life or destroy it based on whatever I feel like. I don’t want to die, but I kind of get where the council is coming from. Even now with zero control of my power, I risk blowing up the town. No one should have this kind of power.”
I close my eyes and press my lips to the top of her head, honestly not surprised to learn the scope of her power. As beings meant to rule over the world and force balance when needed, spirit witches would have to be powerful beyond measure.
“Columba mea,” I whisper, the pet name slipping from my lips without thought, “You can’t control what you were born as, but that doesn’t mean you should fear it. Spirit witches wouldn’t have been created if they weren’t needed. You have a purpose, but also a choice on how you use your magic.”
In a small voice, she utters, “What if I make the wrong one?”
“Then you learn from it and try to do better next time,” I reply. “It’s all we can ask of ourselves.”
“Sounds like I’m not the only one that could use that advice,” she points out.
I release a breathy chuckle. “Haven’t you heard? It’s always easier to give advice than take it.”
She laughs, then confesses, “Both Connor and Donovan have told me not to tell Nolan about all this. They’re worried he’ll freak out, but keeping it a secret feels wrong. Like I don’t trust him, but I do.”
My hand slides down her hair. “Do you think telling him is for his benefit or yours?”
She startles at this and pulls back to look up at me. “I don’t understand. He’s my friend… and you’re supposed to be honest with your friends.”
“Yet for Felix’s entire life, we had to keep the fact we were supernatural creatures a secret from him,” I counter, my eyes locked with hers.
“But that’s different,” she insists, a frown tugging at her features. “You didn’t have a choice.”
“There’s always a choice,” I answer, weary from a lifetime of keeping secrets from nearly every person I know. “And though I think Felix has forgiven us, it doesn’t mean he believes we made the correct choice.”
“Something bad would’ve happened if he knew though, right? It’s like a supernatural law,” she questions, her lips pressed tight and clearly worried I’m about to change the rules on her again.
I nod. “If the coven found out, yes, it could’ve been bad. At a bare minimum, a spell would’ve been cast over him and his family to forget us completely, then probably move them far away from here. I don’t know what would’ve happened to us.”
“So to keep and protect your friend, you had to…” She groans, “Lie to him. You think I should keep it from Nolan too.”
“I think you should do whatever you think is right,” I reply, going back to massaging her back. “Just consider why it’s so important for you to tell him now.”
Callie scrunches up her nose in a playful pout. “But that’s hard. See earlier complaint about being unsure about making the right choices.”
“As my mom would say, ‘That’s life’,” I answer with a shrug.
She sticks her tongue out, then drops her forehead against my chest. “Life’s hard,” she huffs.
“You’ll get no argument from me,” I agree, wrapping my arms tight around her and giving her a gentle squeeze.
“Speaking of hard choices,” she sighs heavily. “It’s time. One way or another, we have to help Felix move on. I know you don’t want to be the reason he’s not with us, but it’s not fair for him to keep existing this way.”
Shock pulses through me and with one hand, I cup her face, urging her to look at me. I need to see her eyes. I need to know what she’s thinking. “What do you mean it isn’t fair? Has he said something to you?”
She shakes her head, biting her lip. “No, but I’ve seen it on his face. When someone walks through him. When he wants to say something but knows he won’t be heard. When he forgets and reaches out to touch something only to go through it. It’s like watching his sense of self die.”
My chest feels tight and aches at the same time. I have no response, my words stuc
k in my throat.
She sniffs, her eyes wet and the color of storms, then continues, not done with how far we’ve failed him… I’ve failed him. “He’s lonely, but never alone because the only places he’s allowed to go are where you guys are-- or where he died. Think about that. Imagine existing each day as he does. Seeing the sun but not feeling its heat on your skin. Having to search your memories for what food tastes like or flowers smell like. Not able to talk to new people or experience new things. Literally only allowed to watch the world go by. He can’t even dream because he can’t sleep.” Tears start dripping down her face. “I don’t want him to go, but I know what it feels like to be cut off from the world. He doesn’t deserve that. His family is waiting, and he has a chance to be reborn.”
Shame eats at my insides, and I drop my forehead against hers. “I knew what I was doing was selfish,” I breathe, the words difficult to get past the lump in my throat. “I just… didn’t want to let my friend go.”
Her hands slip from my waist to up around my neck, her fingers delicately cradling the back of my head. “I don’t want to let him go either, but… we have to do better.”
“Okay,” I sigh, our warm breath mingling together with each exhale. “If the recent fire doesn’t lead to anything, I’ll try to help him move past his need to find the murderers. Remind him his family is still out there waiting for him.”
“You don’t have to do this alone,” she offers, her hand now drifting to the side of my face. “I’ll help in any way I can.”
Grief and fear pull at my body, and I worry this will be my life. A never-ending cascade of letting people go. “The guys are going to hate me.”
Callie shakes her head, her nose barely brushing against mine. “No, they won’t. I won’t let them. I’ve noticed that you all get squirmy under my serious face stare.”
I laugh though it’s not really much more than an exhale of air, then press my lips against her forehead, holding the rest of her tight against me.
“You’re a good person,” I whisper against her skin. “Thank you.”
“I try,” she murmurs. “You are too.”
“I try,” I echo, my lips falling to place another kiss between her brows.
Her breath grows unsteady, but her fingers continue to trail along my skin, from brushing my cheek to stroking the back of my neck.
I’ve been so focused on trying to save her that I didn’t consider she might save me, but here on this cliffside I feel free. Free to break down. Free to bare my soul. Free not to be perfect.
My mouth drifts further until it’s mere centimeters away from hers, and she licks her lips.
The only relationship I’ve ever had was built on lies. Rachel didn’t… couldn’t know the real me, but Callie… I can show her the truth. Maybe we can save each other.
I nuzzle her nose with mine, and she follows in this dance of anticipation. Then as I tilt my head to one side…
Her phone starts ringing in my back pocket.
“Crap, that’s my aunt,” she cries, the moment lost. “I didn’t tell her I was leaving.”
Retrieving her phone, I hand it over, while nerves and reason once again take control.
Faex! What the hell was I thinking? She just moved here and has so much going on right now. She doesn’t need a boyfriend. She needs a friend. How could I be so… To take advantage of… I’m an idiot.
Putting my polite mask on, I pull back my wings and step away, giving her privacy. Callie looks up at me, chewing on her lip, while Mildred talks, and I give her the ‘everything is okay’ smile. Nothing to worry about. Safe, dependable, boring… Perfect Kaleb is here to take care of everything.
“A giant wolf?” she exclaims with a furrowed brow. “Wait, you mean Connor’s on our porch?”
Deodamnatus! I completely forgot about Connor. Now, I’ve let three of my friends down. Just need to screw up with Donovan and Nolan, and I’ll have completed the set.
“I’m really sorry,” she apologizes, her free hand tracing the denim lines of her jeans. “Where am I? Ummm… not far. I just went for a walk. Wanted to clear my head. I’ll head home now. Next time I’ll tell you, I promise. See you soon.”
She quickly hangs up then rubs at her face. “It’s funny. Every moment of my life before coming here was controlled. You’d think I’d be super aware and paranoid about telling my aunt things, but it was exactly because I never had a choice in what I did that I keep forgetting I need to check in. I never told the Bastard… er, my father anything about my life. I just didn't do anything because I wasn’t allowed.”
“I’m sorry for putting you in this position,” I reply, my gaze shifting to the skyline because it’s hard to look into her eyes. I’m afraid the mask will crack again.
“It’s okay. She’s not that mad. Just worried. We’re still finding our footing with each other, I think,” she assures. “I do need to get home.”
I nod and brace myself to remain unaffected as I hold her in my arms again. Friends. We’re friends.
It’s a little more awkward this time around, both of us a bit more shy as she wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. The flight back to her house is short and quiet. Instead of on her balcony, I land us near the edge of the lawn’s clearing, so she can be seen walking up to the front door.
“Thank you, Kaleb,” she murmurs, looking up at me from under her lashes. “For everything.”
“Anytime,” I answer; my perma smile back in place.
Callie waves goodbye then speed walks toward the front door. When she reaches the steps, Connor, in his wolf form, meets her, rubbing his head and side against her. She laughs and scratches behind his ears.
“You’re here because of the fire earlier, aren’t you?” she accuses, but without any anger or annoyance.
His answer is to stare at her for a few moments, then bump his head against her stomach again.
“Fine,” she sighs good-naturedly. “You can stay, but no hogging the bed. Just because you’re bigger than me, doesn’t mean you get to spread out.”
This is answered with a tail wag, presumably to mean those are acceptable terms, and then they both walk into the house.
While deciding I should find better cover to take off, just in case Mildred catches me, my phone buzzes in my front pocket. Walking toward the highway, I answer it.
“You better not be where I think you are,” Donovan growls into the phone. “Get off your moral high horse. If he doesn’t want her to know, you shouldn’t tell her.”
I’m so close to hanging up on him, my thumb practically hovers over the ‘end call’ swipe. Instead, I release a calming breath and say, “I didn’t tell her anything. I’m not even with her right now. Just went out to clear my head. To be alone for a little bit.”
“Whatever, emo kid,” he grumbles. “Get back here before Keziah finds out you’re gone and blames me for being a bad influence.”
“Any influence you had over me, bad or otherwise, would’ve already happened, and yet, I’m still me and you’re still you,” I jab back.
“Ah yes, the perfect son,” he mocks.
“And hanging up now. I’ll be back soon.” I swipe ‘end’ before he can respond and tuck my phone into my front pocket.
I take a few more deep breaths, making sure the me everyone knows is back in place. Then, bending at the knees, I leap up into the air, flapping hard until I’m high up and everything is nothing but dots of light underneath me.
A few more moments of peace before I go back to ‘Perfect Kaleb.’
Chapter 16
Callie
It’s been over a week since the whole ‘giant fire in my backyard’ incident, which somehow the entire school found out about within hours of the police being called-- and so didn’t help with the stupid rumors that I’m suicidal for attention, but now it’s time to forget all that, let loose, and try this whole party business again. It has to be better than last time, right?
“So what are you supposed to be?
” I laugh, as Connor boosts me up into his Tahoe. I’ve given up on trying to get in his car on my own. If he wants to do it, I might as well let him.
We’re heading to Nolan’s Halloween/Birthday party, and Connor is dressed in what he wears every day: jeans, flannel, and boots. He points to the paperback lodged sideways into the two joint cup-holders in the center console.
“Student,” he answers, then closes the passenger door.
I roll my eyes, then take a closer look at the book. When he gets into the car, I accuse, “Don’t you have an English paper due next week on that book? Are you seriously going to do your homework at the party?”
He shrugs while he starts the car.
Honestly, what did I expect? I shake my head and laugh, happy to note my wig doesn’t move at all with all the bobby pins my aunt put in.
With the power of expedited everything, and okay a little begging while offering way over their asking price, I was able to get an amazing Wonder Woman costume from an online cosplay store. It’s made with real leather and has all the accessories. However, I underestimated how short the skirt was-- and when they said it came with leggings, they meant blue spandex booty shorts-- so pretty much all of my legs are showing outside what’s covered by the knee-high boots. Despite the major skin exposure, I still think I look pretty badass.
Just need to make sure I stay inside so I don’t freeze to death.
As if he reads my mind, Connor puts the heater on full blast, making sure to point the middle vent straight at me.
It’s a companionable silence as we make our way to the Campbell estate, an oldies rock station playing softly. Since the fire, both Connor and Felix have started to stay the night with me. I set up my laptop so Felix has something to watch, while Connor, always in his wolf form, takes up two-thirds of my bed. I’ve gotten creative with how I sleep, but thanks to all that fur, I’m never cold. Should consider getting a heavy duty lint roller, though.
Neither has said it outright, but I know it’s to keep an eye out to see if whoever started the bonfire returns. Fortunately or unfortunately, I don’t know, but no one has taken responsibility for what happened and there have been no new signs of the perpetrators.