by Anna Edwards
He shrugged like it didn’t matter and I decided the topic could wait for another time. Other things were more pressing, like erections, and lips, and hands…
“Will you take your jeans off?” I pointed to his crotch. “I want to see where that trail goes.” My confidence rose as I licked my lips and my nerves scattered, enjoying the way his brows rose at my assertiveness. I wanted to get down on my knees and suck him, then I wanted to fuck him so good he’d never want another living soul. It had been a long time since I’d craved someone as much as I did Jack Marshall. Having watched plenty gay porn, I knew the mechanics of two men together and I was eager to get on with it.
Jack glanced up at the ceiling while he unbuttoned his jeans. I assured him Ollie was out for the night and watched his shoulders shrug off the tension; the knowledge easing him somewhat. Jack bolstered into action, less than a minute later he stood in the middle of the living room buck naked and gripping a solid-looking erection.
“Fuck… Look at you, Jack,” I whispered, awed at the sight.
“Yeah? You like what you see?”
“Like?” I scraped my teeth across my bottom lip. “I can’t wait for a taste.”
“Then get naked and bring me your arse.”
Without a lick of hesitation, my clothes fell away, being naked with Jack, freeing. I wanted to rub my cock all over him until a thought occurred - maybe he was the one who liked to fuck, not be on the receiving end.
“Top or bottom?”
“Bottom,” he laughed. “I’m a greedy fucking bottom so you’d better bring you’re A-game, Lewis.”
“Greedy, huh?”
“For the right guy.” Jack winked, and I felt my cock jerk.
“Do I fit the bill?” I inched closer. “You greedy for me?”
His body blazed lust, so much so I could feel the heat radiating from his skin. “Only for you. I swear, you drive me crazy. Have done since the moment I set eyes on you. Insta-lust I think they call it.”
It had been the same for me, but I wanted that lust and so much more. I wanted it all. Crazy and reckless emotions ruled when it came to this man. “Jack.”
“Yeah?” He stroked his cock a few times, and I watched mesmerised as a bead of cream seeped from the slit of the crown.
“Gonna get on my knees for you.”
“Uh…” His hand moved faster. I wanted him in my mouth more than anything, so I sank to the floor and opened for him, the invitation clear. Jack wasted no time, his cock sliding into my mouth, the taste of his pre-come bitter on my tongue.
I wanted more.
“Don’t make me come,” he pleaded.
I couldn’t promise anything because I found I loved sucking him down. I worked him like I owned him, even if my mouth was sloppy and I didn’t have a bloody clue what I was doing. By the time he was clawing at my head and drawing back, my balls had pulled up tight needing release.
“On the couch,” he all but growled as he hauled me to my feet. “Gonna ride you.”
“Oh, fucking hell!”
No way could I refuse. Sitting, I made myself comfortable, legs splayed wide, my cock slapping against my lower belly. Jack grabbed his wallet from his jeans, showing me a condom and a little white packet.
“Davy makes sure I don’t go anywhere without these,” he said almost shyly. Jack was a young single man, I couldn’t begrudge him for being careful and taking precautions.
Crooking a finger, I beckoned him over.
Jack climbed into my lap, legs either side of my thighs, cock jutting out, rubbing against mine. I held out my hand and watched as he ripped open the lube and dribbled it onto my fingers, some spilling onto our erections underneath.
I had no problems sticking my fingers in Jack’s arse. He took one with ease, then ground down when I pushed a second in. On the third he swatted at my arm and begged in between nips of his teeth along my collarbone.
“Enough,” he gasped out, straightening on my lap, and reaching for the condom. My fingers slipped from his entrance and Jack shuffled backwards while he rolled the latex down my hungry cock. “Greedy bottom,” he whispered as he took me in hand and lined me up, the skin against the head of my cock, scalding. My head hit the back of the couch as he slid down, taking me in one swift moan.
Grunts were all I could manage. I fit in there like a glove; snug and tight. I’d blow my load before long. His first movements were tentative while he got used to the intrusion. I didn’t help, let him get comfortable until it became too much, and I needed to come like nothing on earth. It had been too long since I’d felt this connection to anyone.
This was more than sex.
“You feel it, Lewis?”
Humming in the back of my throat, my words became stuck. Gripping his hips tighter, Jack rode me with painstakingly slow strokes. When his pace picked up, white hot heat blasted through me.
“Not gonna last…” My breaths were choppy, my heart beating furiously. I took his slippery cock in hand while I bucked upwards, wanting to see him spill over me as he came.
“Keep doing that.”
I had no intention of stopping. He rode, and I jacked until our movements were in sync, a quick pace that couldn’t last. Jack came over my hand first, the sight of all his creamy cum making me gluttonous. His channel squeezed around my cock as he lost his rhythm and his body drew taut. God, the sight was sublime and threw me headlong into ecstasy right behind him.
Letting go of him, I grappled for purchase on sweat-soaked hips and took my pleasure with a grunt and a few more thrusts upwards. Trying to keep the frantic pace until I’d emptied inside the condom, I gave up and collapsed back onto the couch dragging Jack with me. Pushing out a ragged moan, Jack squeezed around me again and I tangled my hand in his hair tighter, pulling his mouth to mine. With dry, parched lips, I pounced on his mouth.
After a few minutes, our breaths mingled, I said, “I think it’s time for bed. I really need to do that again.”
“Greedy top,” Jack mumbled out, and I laughed as he kissed my sweaty neck and flopped against my body.
“Greedy top,” I agreed.
Chapter Nine
Looking at the clock on Lewis’s bedside table, I groaned. Four a.m. and we’d just gone round three. My arse was gloriously sore, but I was as happy as I think I’d ever been.
Lewis had woken me with my cock in his mouth and what man in their right mind would find cause to complain being woken like that? Then he’d taken me from behind, one hand wrapped around my cock, the other tight in my hair as he crowded over my back and fucked me into oblivion. His lips had covered every inch of skin he could reach.
I’d loved his display of dominance and made a mental note to explore that another time. Lewis was explosive, and I couldn’t get enough of him. I was his first man, he’d admitted shyly. Was it too much to hope to be his only? I was by no means experienced but maybe we could learn together. It would be damned fun to try.
“Jack?”
“Yeah?” I turned to face Lewis, leaving a little space between us. I loved cuddling, but I still didn’t know the things he preferred, I’d leave it to him to guide or hint.
“I’d like you here more than tonight. I know this is quick but well, it feels right…” he trailed off and looked over my shoulder, his lashes dropping.
I wasn’t fool enough to rush into things; I had my head on straight. I did. Yet, yet… “It does. One day at a time, how does that sound?”
He appeared relieved. “I have a lot of issues. Mental health. Ollie. Steph’s death. Sometimes life just hurts you know? I’m trying to work it out.”
“My mum’s one of the best in the area.”
“It’s a conflict.”
Shit, he had a point. “What do you want, Lewis? I’m all for getting involved right here with you, with Ollie. It doesn’t scare me like it probably should. But only you can decide about my mum unless she makes that decision for you.” I wasn’t going to ask him to choose.
“Would you be comf
ortable with it?”
“If she’s helping, why not? She takes patient confidentiality seriously.”
He ran his finger across my eyebrow then down along the bridge of my nose. “I’ll talk to her.”
“She’s pretty great.” I glanced at the clock again. “What time does Ollie get up?”
“About seven.” He flopped his head down onto the pillow.
“You want me gone?”
“Don’t do that, Jack.”
“Then kiss me and get some sleep. You wore me out, I can’t possibly manage another go around anytime soon if I tried.”
He laughed but kissed me, then plucked my body closer, wrapping me up in his arms. I surrendered and for three hours slept blissfully dreaming of little boys and rainbow coloured pencils, and Lewis’s kisses. Always his kisses.
Chapter Ten
Six Months Later.
“Come in, Lewis.”
I sauntered into Dr Marshall’s office and took a seat, smiling at the woman. I’d kept up my appointments with Jack’s mum and it had been six months since that first meeting, since Jack had flipped my world upside down. Her being my therapist had never come between us, had no bearing on our lives outside this office.
“Ollie with Jack?”
“He’s got him down at the library for a few hours.”
“He loves that place.”
“Good job Henry doesn’t mind,” I laughed.
Dr Marshall got comfortable and clicked on the recorder. Her hand hesitated as she placed the item on the table to her side. On a second thought she lifted it again and clicked it off, satisfied with her decision. “Today’s the day, right?”
“Today’s the day,” I repeated.
“Nervous?”
“Kind of. In a good way, I think. More worried about where else Ollie will stuff Wolf. I swear that cat was made for him, he lets Ollie drag him around all over the place.”
Today was officially moving in day, a formality really because Jack had barely left my side, or Ollie’s, since the day of the fete.
“And Ollie?”
“He understands. Loves Jack to pieces. He has something I don’t when it comes to Ollie, and it’s more than the cat.”
“How does that make you feel?”
“Good.” I flushed with emotion. “Like I’m doing the right thing.”
Ollie came out of his shell when Jack was around. At first it confused me, and I wondered what Jack had that I lacked. Ollie still took tantrums, they didn’t last as long and were less fierce than previously. Jack just had… something. A way about him that spoke to Ollie on his level. It took a while to reconcile the fact Jack simply had a knack with Ollie I never would, eventually I stopped questioning it because he was happier with Jack around. Hell, I was happier with Jack around.
“Your in-laws, any progress?”
There had been. They’d dropped their silly threats about taking Ollie from me, and when I’d extended the invitation for them to come stay with us, they’d eagerly accepted. They saw how settled we were, how Ollie appeared content. We’d taken them to meet Mabel, then Heather Grey, and I was confident when they’d left, it was with our relationship on an easier footing. They missed Ollie, but it didn’t need to be difficult. Because Lord knew life was hard enough even though we were happy.
“Well, they love Jack.” His ever-charming self had won them over.
“Who doesn’t?” I smiled fondly, who didn’t love Jack? I did, I was right when I’d said I had room in my heart for him too. Dr Marshall’s words, however, only reminded me he needed to know exactly how much I loved him.
She sat back and crossed one leg over the other, watching me closely. “You love him.”
“I do, Melinda. Very much.”
She nodded, her glassy eyes connecting with mine. “I don’t want you in my office again, Lewis.” I’d known this was coming yet it still hurt, she’d helped get me back on my feet and made sure my new start with Ollie was a success. “You’re family. Both you and Ollie. I had to wait and see where you went with Jack. I think it’s all the way and I can’t have you sitting across the couch from me anymore.”
“Thank you for everything,” I sighed, grateful but sad all the same.
“The next steps are yours. Yours and Jack’s. I don’t want to be Dr Marshall any longer. If you’ll have me, I’d like to be something to you and little Ollie who is as precious as Jack is.” She laughed and I couldn’t help doing the same.
“Nana?” I offered.
“Family.” I choked up right along with her. She’d seen it all before and had never judged when I dropped tears in our sessions. “I have another therapist in mind, should you want to continue with someone. Dr Stein is joining the practice soon, and he’s good, Lewis. I fought dirty to get him here.” I bet she had, the woman could be tenacious in her quests.
“I’ll make an appointment.”
It’s not that I was fixed, I’d never really been broken. I was still grieving. Still caring for Ollie, which even on a good day was a challenge. Jack and his mother had taught me it was okay to feel the way I did, that caring for Ollie on my own had made me push those emotions to the back and ignored them. It wasn’t doing me or my son any good. Jack let me grieve for Stephanie, and I loved him all the more for being right by my side.
I’d never stop loving her, but I had the room. Room for both and I loved Jack as much as I did Steph. I knew my wife, wherever her beautiful soul rested, would be happy. Because we were. She would have loved Jack too such was the man he was. She’d have loved him for the way he loved Ollie. The way he loved me.
“Go home, Lewis. Get your family and take them home.”
Chapter Eleven
“Dude, it’s time.” I tapped Ollie’s hand absentmindedly on the way past his table where he sat drawing with a new set of rainbow pencils we’d picked up the day before. I stopped in my tracks when I caught sight of what he was drawing this time though. Sucking in a breath, I backtracked and hunched down at the table coming to eye level with him. Pointing to one stick figure I asked Ollie who he’d drawn.
“Dad.”
Yeah, that was his dad all right, his stick figure was the biggest of the three, and he was holding Ollie’s hand. Ollie tapped the paper then tapped my hand the same way I’d done his.
“Jack,” he said.
“Jack,” I repeated, choking up, looking at the figure on the other side of the smaller one. He was holding Ollie’s hand too.
Lewis, Ollie and Jack.
I took in the rest of what Ollie had drawn and the tears fell, beautiful fat tears of love and joy. For a little boy who struggled to convey emotions, he’d hit the nail on the head and blown me away. Not for the first time either.
Love hearts covered the rest of the paper. Big ones, small ones, barely legible ones, rainbow coloured… All around the little family he’d drawn. Wolf was there, under Ollie’s feet, like he was standing on the poor cat.
His multi coloured pencilled hearts said so much more than the three little words ever could.
This boy and his father were my life. Who’d have thought we could be here in just six tiny months? Time had flown by, so lost in this new life we were creating together.
“I’m going to hug you now, Ollie.” He giggled as I gently slipped my arms around his body and gave him a squeeze. “Love you, little dude.”
Big strong arms enveloped us both from behind and the smell of home washed over me as I grinned into Ollie’s hair. He squealed in delight at seeing his dad.
“And I love both you guys,” Lewis said loudly, squeezing tighter. When the hug ended, he stood and grinned down at us like all was right in the world. “Ready to go home?”
Ollie collected his things up quickly, and I stood to face Lewis, the man I’d fallen head over heels in love with.
“Yeah. Take us home.”
Kissing me firmly on the lips, I didn’t miss the twinkle in his eye nor the way he looked as content as I’d ever seen him.
&
nbsp; “I love you, Jack.”
“Love you too.” I kissed him back then stepped away, hooking Ollie under the arms. “Love you, little guy.” I slobbered a kiss on Ollie’s cheek and laughed when he tried to get away, wiping at his face.
“Love,” Ollie whispered. “Love Dad, and Jack. Love Woof.”
Afterword
My twelve-year-old son has an ASD diagnosis with comorbidities of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, and SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder). He is also a Type 1 Diabetic.
Our son is amazing. But he is one of the most complex children you will ever meet. He is regularly used as a case study, and the processes put in place to ‘cope’ with him through his primary school, have been rolled out as guidelines to other teachers across the region. One teacher had said she had never met a child like our son in the thirty years she had been teaching. It wasn’t a compliment and was disappointing to hear from someone who is meant to teach tolerance.
This is a part of my life I keep private, mostly. Being an ASD parent is… Amazing, destroying, fulfilling, stressful. It’s lonely too. But so very rewarding.
There’s only so much you can tap into with a short story, I only skimmed the surface. Pencilled Hearts is just the tip of the ice-berg.
If you feel the need to reach out after reading this short, then please, please - don’t hesitate to get in touch.
Thank you for reading x
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