He sighed. “What is this about? Are you trying to drag me to therapy or some support group?”
She grabbed the piece of what looked like homemade bread from his hand and took a bite at his surprised look. God, it was delicious. “Not that either is a bad idea, but no,” she said after swallowing the carbs. “I have my own approach to healing, and I want you to be brave enough to give it a try.” She handed him back his breakfast.
He hesitated.
“Come on, Eddie. What else do you have planned for the day? Self-pity at ten? Wallowing at eleven thirty? Nap at two? I know that’s not how you want to live the rest of your life. I know that’s not who you are. So, put on a shirt—” for the love of all that is good and holy “—and come with me,” she said.
She waited and watched the sexy chest muscles rise and fall in a deep sigh. “Fine. Give me a minute,” he said, stepping back to let her in.
She’d expected a mess inside the apartment. Take-out containers all over the place. A pungent smell. A blanket and pillow fort on the couch that he’d prefer to stay buried under, so she was shocked as she looked around.
The place was spotless, and damn if the smell of homemade bread wasn’t still lingering in the air.
Eddie was starting to feel better. She smiled. Maybe today wouldn’t be as challenging after all. It had only taken a minute and a half to talk him into coming on this blind adventure with her. She’d factored fifteen minutes into her planning, so she was already ahead of schedule.
He reappeared wearing a tight black T-shirt, a hoodie thrown over one arm. His hair was combed and gelled, and she could smell his cologne from across the room. He was gorgeous, and her pulse raced at the thought of what they were about to do.
Five minutes later, they were in his van, and she was behind the wheel. The bigger vehicle was actually quite intimidating, but she’d never admit that to him. She adjusted the mirrors and the seat.
“Hey, don’t mess with my settings,” Eddie said in mock annoyance.
“You’re taller than I am, and this thing is a little more complicated than I’m used to.”
“Well, why don’t you let me drive?”
“Because you don’t know where we’re going,” she said, pulling out of the parking stall.
“Where are we going?”
“Told you—it’s a surprise.” She turned to glance at him. “Sit back and relax. It’s a bit of a drive.”
“A bit of a drive to where?”
“I’m not telling you. Stop asking,” she said, heading down Main Street toward the exit for the highway. As she passed the spot of the shooting, her hands tightened on the steering wheel. She’d purposely jogged an extra couple of blocks to work every day to avoid having to run past the place where Eddie almost died. Where she could have died...
She dared a quick glance at him now. Would he be upset seeing it? Remembering?
He wasn’t even looking out the window. He was staring at her. “What?” she asked nervously, unable to decipher his expression.
“How did you start to heal after your injury? Did someone kidnap you like this, or did you try therapy and support groups?”
Normally her response to the question would be to say that she wasn’t quite sure if she was healed, but since meeting Amber and Frank and learning about their tragic love story and quest to fulfill their bucket lists, Montana knew she had come a long way. Denying the success and progress she’d made in her own healing was unfair. It was time to give herself the credit she deserved to be at this point in life after her setback, and it was time to appreciate what she had around her, instead of constantly striving for that elusive happiness she thought would come with having her old life back.
“Actually, all of the above,” she said. “I had a lot of friends who disappeared when it became clear that I wouldn’t be out on cliffs with them anymore. But a few good ones stuck with me and helped me get moving again. That said, I did go to therapy for years. In fact, I attend a support group here in Wild River.” It was the first time she’d told anyone, and it felt good to tell Eddie.
“Really? Does it help?”
She laughed. “It does, actually. While my issues are different than most people’s in the room, we are all still struggling with something, and that common denominator brings us all together on a basic level of just trying to survive each day.”
He nodded. “You still struggle?”
“Yep.” Though the struggles seemed to change over the years. At first, it was regaining her memory and being able to live independently. Then, it was trying to figure out what was next for her and finding a way back to Kaia. Since being in Wild River, she’d been putting the pieces in place for a new future, and now the struggle was finding true happiness. Reevaluating what she wanted most, what she truly wanted most. For years she’d thought she’d known the answer, but lately it didn’t seem so clear.
Since the shooting, she hadn’t felt the suffocating disappointment over not being able to jump anymore. The issues with Kaia and the tragedy with Eddie had taken priority in her mind, and while they were challenges, they gave her focus and made her realize she was entirely capable of putting her former passion on the back burner when there were more important things for her to take care of—more important things that mattered to her.
For the first time, she was seeing that BASE jumping had once defined who she was. The circle of people she associated with. Her identity had been tied to it. But the sport was just a sport. It wasn’t who she was.
“I feel like you just went on a journey and left me behind,” Eddie said gently.
She’d been quiet, lost in her own thoughts. “That’s exactly what just happened,” she said. “Sorry. I’ve just had a lot of things put into perspective lately.” She smiled at him and the intensity in his dark eyes had her returning her attention to the road quickly. She was doing this for him, yet all of a sudden, this adventure trip was meaning so much to her. “Thank you for coming along,” she said. “And for trusting me.”
He nodded. “I didn’t think you’d really give me a choice. I could see you plotting how you were going to knock me out and drag me to the van.”
She laughed hard at the entirely too accurate truth.
Half an hour later, she took the exit for Palmer, and Eddie scanned their surroundings. “I thought we were heading into Anchorage. What’s out here?”
“You’ll see.” Her palms sweat against the steering wheel.
Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea.
The closer she came to actually executing her plan, a slight panic crept into her chest. Would Eddie go along with this? Was he well enough? She’d cleared it with Erika the day before, so she knew he was fine physically, but mentally—was he ready for something this extreme? She wasn’t sure anything less would work to snap him out of his slump.
She drove onto the Palmer Municipal Airport lot, and Eddie frowned. “Are we flying somewhere?”
“Sort of,” she said.
“Were we planning to buy clothes when we get to wherever we’re going?” he joked, but she heard the nervousness in his voice.
She didn’t answer as she pulled up in front of the building for Alaska Skydive Adventures. “No clothes needed,” she said with forced enthusiasm. She wouldn’t back out now, and she wouldn’t let Eddie back out, either.
“What are we doing here?”
“What do you think we’re doing here?” she said, unbuckling her seat belt. “Come on.”
Eddie shook his head, and his hand instinctively covered his seat belt buckle. “Montana, I was shot six weeks ago. I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“I happen to know your doctor, and she said you are all clear,” she said.
“Okay, let me rephrase. Even if I hadn’t just gotten shot six weeks ago, I still wouldn’t think this is a good idea.”
“You said y
ou’d come on this adventure with me.”
“When I thought we were going for frozen yogurt or something. Shit, even a surprise vacation would meet with no arguments right now, but this? Are you for real? You want me to skydive when I can barely even walk?”
She leaned closer and met his gaze square on. “Why walk when you can fly?”
* * *
FLY. RIGHT. OR FALL to his death. He’d already come close enough to that once this year. Tempting fate a second time seemed a little stupid.
Eddie made no motion to get out as he watched Montana walk around the front of the vehicle. The woman was insane. He struggled to get out of bed on his own in the morning, and he could barely function without pain medication, and she wanted him to throw his body out of a plane?
She opened the back door and retrieved his crutches. “Come on,” she said, opening the passenger door.
“Nope,” he said, not budging.
“Do I have to take your seat belt off myself?” she asked.
And despite the tense situation, Eddie felt himself get slightly hard at the idea of Montana leaning over him to unlatch the buckle. Shit. He had to keep his attraction to her in check. She was trying to trick him into a crazy stunt. “Montana, I appreciate the gesture, I really do. But have you even thought this through? How am I supposed to jump out of a plane?”
“We’re signed up for a tandem jump. You’ll be fine,” she said.
“And what happens when I hit the ground?” He’d never gone skydiving before, but he’d seen it, and the landing didn’t look all that soft. Running seemed to be a requirement.
“I’ve arranged for a crash-mat landing. You’ll fall into a nice inflatable pillow,” she said with a look that said Bring on your excuses ’cause I’ve got an answer for everything.
He searched for another plausible reason why this was a horrible idea, but all he could come up with made him look like a wimp.
Which he was actually fine with.
“Our plane’s waiting,” she said, tapping an invisible watch.
Eddie sighed as he removed the seat belt and lifted himself out of the van, accepting the crutches from her. “I’ll watch you jump, but there’s no way I’m doing this.”
“We’ll see,” she said as she closed the van door and locked the vehicle.
As they walked toward the building, Eddie could see the small airplane on the runway with the Alaska Skydive Adventure logo on the side. He’d only ever been in a plane that small once. A seaplane, when he’d traveled to northern Alaska with some friends after graduating high school. He’d been sick then, even without the terror of jumping to contend with. Montana could drag him all the way out here—he might even get inside the plane since the idea of watching her in action was kinda intriguing—but there was no way in hell he’d be free-falling that day.
“I didn’t know you still did this,” he said as they made their way inside.
“I haven’t since I’ve been here, but my support group suggested it. Skydiving, zip-lining, bungee jumping. All things I can still do that might give the same thrill as BASE jumping.”
“Will it?” He didn’t think so. Montana had progressed from all of those activities to BASE jumping. She’d never get the same high from these activities. Adrenaline junkies suffered the same affliction as other addicts. The high of each new dangerous activity eventually weakened or wore off, leaving them searching for the next thing to take them even higher.
Montana didn’t answer. Instead she smiled as they reached two men in matching Alaska Skydive jackets. “Hi. I’m Montana Banks. I called yesterday.”
Yesterday? So this was as spur of the moment as it appeared. How had she gotten it all arranged so quickly?
The first guy stepped forward and shook her hand. “Hey, I’m Tom, and this is Alex.” He indicated the other guy. “So great to meet you. I’m a big fan,” he said. His appreciative gaze swept over Montana, and an unsettling feeling washed over Eddie.
Fantastic. Another adrenaline junkie with full capacity of all his limbs.
“Uh, thank you. This is my...” Montana hesitated “...friend, Eddie Sanders.”
Friend. Why did that irritate him? A few days ago he’d claimed they were no more than neighbors. He still needed to apologize for his mood and harsh words that day.
Tom turned to him and said, “Ready to do this?”
Eddie shook his head. “Nope. I’m not jumping today. I’m just here to watch this crazy one.” He wasn’t a fan of heights or falling—or willingly tempting fate.
The guy nodded. “It’s daunting to be sure. But compared to your chosen career, this is a lot less dangerous.”
So, Montana had filled them in.
“Let’s get you both geared up,” Alex said, stepping forward. “There are separate change rooms to the right. Montana, you know the drill by now. I’ll help Eddie.”
Was no one listening to him? He wasn’t doing this. He hadn’t even signed a waiver or anything. Getting geared up seemed a little premature. “Yeah, I’m not in,” he said.
Montana looked at the guys. “Can we have a sec?”
“Sure thing,” Tom said. “I’ll print out the waivers and tell the pilot to prepare.”
They really thought he was doing this.
When the guys were out of earshot, Montana turned to him. “Eddie, I need this,” she said, the vulnerability in her blue eyes rocking him to the core. Vulnerable was not a word he’d ever use to describe Montana. Even through her challenges of relocating to Wild River, rekindling her relationship with her daughter and ex-boyfriend, and starting her own venture in a partnership with a woman who was essentially parenting her daughter most of the time, Montana had navigated the rapids with ease and grace and confidence. She was afraid of nothing. Hell, she’d been shot at, something that would have had a lot of people needing therapy to feel safe again, and she was hardly fazed by it.
So this new dimension to her had him floundering. But one look outside at the tiny plane on the tarmac had his common sense restored. “You can go. I’m not stopping you.” He paused. “I’ll even go up in the plane.”
Disappointment clouded her expression. “I’m not doing it if you don’t.”
Damn it! “I saved your life. Isn’t that enough?”
“That was last month,” she said with a grin that meant she knew she was going to get her way.
“This is insane. Even for you,” he mumbled, knowing protests were useless. He may be down and out lately, uncertain about his future on the police force and struggling to get this new version of life working for him in some way, but he could never say no to her for long.
“Insane can be good sometimes,” she said, waving the guys back over. “We’re ready to gear up,” she said.
“Great! Eddie, let’s get you into a harness and get you both up in the air,” Alex said enthusiastically.
Eddie tried to keep from throwing up as Montana disappeared into the women’s changeroom and he followed the guy into the men’s. Most people contemplated shit like this for months, years, before they actually took the literal leap. He’d had all of five minutes. Could he really do it? He’d hate to get up there and chicken out.
Though, he doubted that was a possibility with Montana next to him.
Fifteen minutes later, Eddie signed away his rights to sue if this went horribly wrong, and they boarded the plane. Harnessed into his safety gear, Eddie took a seat as far from the door as possible as Montana climbed in behind him. If only excitement was truly contagious. She was actually glowing with anticipation, which would have completely stolen his breath, if he could find it in the first place.
Sweat pooled on his lower back, and his veins should’ve been exploding with the blood rushing through them. He was seconds away from an anxiety attack as the plane door closed and the four of them buckled into the cramped space and the plane took
off the runway.
“We’re going up to thirteen thousand feet,” Tom said.
“Awesome,” Montana said. “About sixty seconds of freefall,” she told him.
“Awesome,” he mumbled, trying to steady his breath. A minute could feel like an excruciatingly long time.
This would be fine. And if it wasn’t fine, at least in an hour from now, it would all be over. He could file a restraining order against his crazy, hot-as-shit neighbor and continue to be grateful he was alive in the safety of his apartment.
“Look at the gorgeous view,” Montana said, leaning closer.
The smell of her honey-scented hair and soft vanilla-scented skin filled his senses in their proximity, and it helped to distract him from the task at hand—a little. More so than the breathtaking view below. He’d get plenty of time to appreciate that once they were falling in midair.
For now, his gaze took in Montana, possibly for the last time. Her beautiful, high cheekbones seemed even more prominent, colored in a deep rose blush that was all natural. Man, she was gorgeous. So far out of his league. He wasn’t sure what had spurred that day’s outing, but he was happy to be around her, despite the terrifying circumstances. Which was terrifying in itself. Pushing her away would be impossible when she refused to let him, so now the focus would be on protecting his heart.
Not falling hard and fast for her would be the hardest challenge of his life.
She turned her attention away from the window and caught him staring. Her smile was warm and genuine, and he already felt like the battle of preserving his heart was lost.
“We’re at altitude,” Alex said and Eddie’s heart was instantly in his throat. All this stress couldn’t be good for his recovery plan. How had Erika signed off on this? He needed a new doctor.
Tom opened the plane door, and the noise of the wind speeding past made him gulp.
Montana laughed. “Did you just gulp?”
“I did.” Zero ego or pride left in that moment. He was scared shitless, and he was man enough to admit it. He peered over the side, taking in the scenery. The boreal forest below him, mountain peaks at eye level, and water cascading from a waterfall on one side coursing into a running river would at least be a beautiful way to die.
A Sweet Alaskan Fall Page 14