Her sister grinned, propping herself up on the kitchen counter. “Missed me?”
“No, of course not. I just thought maybe you were gone for good this time.” Truth was that idea had terrified Montana. It had felt odd not seeing Dani while things were going well with Eddie, and she’d been craving support since they’d ended things.
“According to your doctor, I’m your subconscious, so I come back when you need me to talk sense into you,” Dani said.
“Look, I’m not the one in control here. Eddie doesn’t want to be with me.” He’d had plenty of opportunity to tell her otherwise.
“Come on, Montana. You know Eddie is crazy about you. He only pushed you away because he feels like he’s not good enough for you. Mom and Dad didn’t help.”
“Funny that you stayed away during their visit,” Montana said with a raised eyebrow.
“We’re talking about your issues, not mine. All I’m saying is that you’re not one to not chase after what you want.”
“What do you want me to do? Run after his van? Confess my undying love for him?”
“Yes!”
Montana set the mug in the cupboard and turned away from the sink. “Call me crazy, but I’m not in the habit of putting myself out there like that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m afraid of getting hurt, that’s why!”
“You? Since when do you let fear stop you from doing anything? You’re the most fearless person I know.”
Maybe at one time, but since arriving in Wild River, she’d learned that there were very different kinds of risks in life. Some cost more than others. “My body and my heart are two very different things.”
Her sister shot her a look of sympathy. “You haven’t put yourself out there or opened up to anyone since I died.”
“That’s not true...” She’d put herself out there and opened up to Eddie, hadn’t she? Maybe not when it truly mattered.
“I know this is tough on you, but you have to learn to trust and be willing to get hurt. Otherwise, you won’t ever be truly happy. I died from my accident. You didn’t, and I know that you think your limitations define you, but they don’t. You are more than just an extreme athlete.”
She’d started to see that when she was with Eddie. Being in Wild River, close to Kaia, and taking on the new challenges of parenting had helped her realize that, but now she was struggling to remember it. “Like what?”
“Are you serious? You’re running your own training camp and working with the best adventure tourism company in Wild River.”
“But that’s because it’s still something I know. Something I’m still technically good at. Relationships are not my forte.”
“I disagree. Since you’ve been here you’ve made some really fantastic friends in Cassie and Erika—female friends! That’s something that you weren’t great at before. You’ve developed an amazing coparenting relationship with Tank, and Kaia is benefiting from that. And Kaia! Oh, my God, Montana, you’ve become the best version of yourself in the way you are with her.”
“You think?” She felt it, too. Being a parent had changed her in so many ways, and she knew Dani was right. She was a good mom. At first she wasn’t sure if she could be or would be what Kaia needed, but she believed she now was. Their connection had grown so much and continued to grow.
“You know I do,” Dani said gently. She reached out as though to touch Montana but settled for a warm, encouraging smile instead. “And if you can make these changes in yourself to grow in these other important ways, you can figure things out with Eddie.”
Montana was quiet for a long moment. What her sister said was true, but how could she go after Eddie when he’d made it quite obvious that a relationship with her wasn’t what he wanted? No matter what his reason, whether he wasn’t ready to open up or if he was simply trying to protect her, it didn’t matter. “What if he doesn’t want me?”
“Mon, that guy has been head over heels for you since you moved in next door to him.”
Montana swallowed hard. Memories of the last six months came flooding back—the flirty banter, the accidental touches that resulted in unexpected sparks, the connection between them the first time they’d kissed, the way Eddie made her feel when he made love to her, held her, listened to her, looked at her... She wanted that feeling again. She straightened her shoulders, feeling her determination and confidence coming back. “What do I do?”
Dani laughed. “You’re asking a sixteen-year-old ghost for advice on men and relationships?”
Her sister had a point. “Okay, well at least help me decide what to wear to crash this wedding,” she said.
“That I can do,” Dani said.
* * *
EDDIE ENTERED THE bridal dressing room at the back of the venue twenty minutes before the ceremony was scheduled to start. He leaned against the wall and watched as his sister Leslie snapped several photos of their grandmother in her wedding dress and ballet flats. Gran was right to assume that Leslie would eventually agree to the job. Of course Leslie had flown into Anchorage earlier that day and was leaving tomorrow. They all knew being in Wild River was tough on her, even though she refused to open up and talk about her fiancé’s death, so no one gave her shit about her infrequent, whirlwind trips.
Eddie was just happy she’d made it home for the event.
“One looking into the mirror...” his sister said, refocusing her camera lens “...and then glance over your shoulder.”
As she did, his grandmother spotted him in the room. “Is it time?” she asked.
“Almost,” he said, moving toward them.
Leslie checked her watch, a thick, black-strapped military-looking thing that didn’t go with her purple dress and fancy hairstyle at all but that she wore all the time. “I’ll go take a few shots of Melvin at the altar,” she said, hugging her grandmother tight. “See you out there,” she told him as she passed on her way out of the room.
“Wow. You are stunning,” he told his grandmother as the door closed behind Leslie.
His grandmother smiled, but she looked nervous as hell. Fifth wedding—successful or not—and she was still nervous. “You like Mel, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do. He’s a great guy.” A little crazy to be marrying into their family, but he’d fit right in.
“But is he the one?”
Eddie couldn’t suppress the laugh and his grandmother scowled at him, then her face gave way to laughter as well. “I guess if he’s not, maybe the next one will be,” she said.
Eddie reached for her hand. “All I know is that I haven’t seen you this happy with someone in a very long time. Definitely more than the others. I think you found him this time, Gran.” His words had meant to reassure her, but they’d also reinforced the big, gaping hole in his heart and the empty space reserved next to him at the table that evening. He’d toured the reception area earlier that day, and seeing Montana’s place card next to his had resulted in a lot more emotion than he’d expected to feel being there without her.
His grandmother squeezed his hand. “You know, speaking of finding the right one...”
He shook his head, but kept his tone light as he said, “Nope. No trying to matchmake today. This is your day. We’ll worry about me later.”
“Okay, but—”
“Gran...”
She sighed but nodded. “Fine. But the conversation’s not over.” She stared at him for a long moment. “I’m happy you decided to wear your uniform,” she said, tears of joy forming in her eyes.
“Do not cry. Those fake eyelashes you sent me out to buy last minute aren’t the best quality,” he said, desperate to lighten the mood and his heart. He heard the music start to play in the great hall. “Ready to do this?”
“I am,” she said. She held his hand tight as they took their positions at the back of the room and the traditional w
edding march started to play.
Everyone stood as they made their way down the aisle, and as usual, his grandmother was right. All eyes were on her as she made her way toward Mel. Nothing and no one could steal the show from her.
* * *
MONTANA SAT ON her motorcycle outside the wedding venue. Could she really do this? Go after what she wanted, risk putting her heart on the line? Seeing Eddie leave earlier that day for the wedding without her had made the crack in her heart that much deeper.
She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. He’d invited her to be his date that evening, and she was going through with it. She’d prove to him how she felt about him, and if he was moving to Anchorage, they’d figure something out, but she wanted to be with him.
She removed her helmet, ran a hand through her hair and climbed off the bike. She removed her riding boots and shimmied out of the leather pants she wore under her red, knee-length dress, then slipped into a pair of heels. She removed her leather jacket and shivered as she hurried inside.
The venue was beautiful, elegantly decorated with varying shades of purple and white accents throughout. An archway covered in flowers and twinkle lights led the way into the reception area. She’d missed the ceremony on purpose. She didn’t want her unexpected arrival to steal any of the focus from the bride and groom or Eddie’s responsibility to the event. But now, she could hear the music playing and the sounds of laughter floating out of the room, so maybe her entrance could go unnoticed.
She took several calming breaths as she stood under the archway, scanning the room. A private two-seater table for the bride and groom was set up in the center, and tables of eight draped in white satin with flowers and tea lights floating in glass bowls surrounded it. Some guests were enjoying dessert and champagne, chatting amongst themselves, while others were already on the dance floor.
A gift table along the far wall made her panic slightly.
Damn it! In her apprehension and second guessing, she’d forgotten a gift, and if she thought about it long enough, she’d allow it to be her excuse to leave.
But then spotting Eddie at a table, near the dance floor, nursing a drink, she swallowed hard. He looked so amazing in his state-trooper uniform, his medal of bravery catching the dim, romantic lighting in the room. His dark hair was gelled back, and his five-o’clock shadow was the perfect length. She missed that stubble between her hands, the way it tickled her cheek and left a razor burn after a night of passion. She missed those strong arms wrapped around her, and she missed the way he made her laugh, made her feel complete. She missed him so damn much.
Too much to walk out now.
If he rejected her, at least she would know that she’d given it her best shot.
Head held high, she walked on slightly unsteady knees toward the table. Her palms sweat, and her hands trembled slightly at her sides. Eyes turned to look at her in curiosity, but her gaze met Eddie’s grandmother’s on the dance floor, and the already-radiant bride beamed even more. She nodded, giving Montana the courage to continue her trek toward the man she was in love with.
She stopped behind his chair and cleared her throat. “Excuse me, but I’m looking for my date. He forgot to pick me up,” she said in the most pissed-off tone she could muster.
Eddie’s head swiveled around so fast he nearly spilled his drink, and his eyes widened at the sight of her. “Danger,” he muttered.
She held her breath. Waiting. Would he be happy to see her standing there? Or would he be upset that she was crashing his family event?
His expression revealed nothing at first, as his gaze slid the length of her, taking in the knee-length, formfitting dress and four-inch heels that were supposed to make her feel confident and powerful...
“He must have been an idiot,” he said, his voice sounding hoarse.
Relief flowed through her, but she wasn’t completely relaxed yet. “He can be stubborn sometimes, but the thing is, I’d take fighting with him any day over laughing with anyone else. And I’d take a chance on getting my heart broken by him any day of the week.”
He turned around to face her completely, and his chest rose and fell. “Montana, I’m happy to see you...” He ran a hand over his face. “I’ve been going crazy not seeing you.”
That made two of them.
“But I meant what I said about us not working—”
“And I mean what I say when I call bullshit,” she said. She’d made it this far. There was no turning back now. The way he was looking at her, the way he’d confessed to missing her gave her the needed confidence to continue. “You love me, Eddie Sanders. I know you do because I’m in love with you, too. And I don’t think it’s possible to be so completely head over heels in love, to feel this deep, intense connection with someone, if they don’t feel it, too.”
He was staring at her. His gaze searching hers. His own emotions so clear on his handsome face that they confirmed everything she’d been hoping for. “You love me?” he said finally.
“Yes. And you love me.” She said it with even more confidence in case he still wasn’t getting it.
The music had changed to a slow song, but the couples on the dance floor had stopped their swaying to turn to look at them.
Eddie’s face gave way to a slow smile as he reached for her. He gripped her waist and pulled her down onto his lap. “And you thought I didn’t know that?” he asked, cupping her face between his hands.
“I thought maybe you might need a push into admitting it,” she whispered, as his face inched closer to hers.
His gaze flitted between her eyes and her lips. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he said and her heart felt like it might explode.
Audience or not, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his, a satisfying sigh escaping her at the feel of his warm, welcoming mouth. She’d been missing this so much, and now that she was back in Eddie’s arms, he wouldn’t be pushing her away again.
He reluctantly broke away. “You’re sure this is what you want?”
“You are what I want.”
He touched her cheek, still slightly hesitant to go all in. “I’m not a bad boy...”
She laughed. “Bad boys got me shot and my daughter abducted. I’m seeing the error in my ways.”
“Well, just as long as you stay wild and never change.”
“Think you can handle that?” she asked, moving closer to him. Suddenly, she couldn’t get close enough.
“It’s a challenge I’m very much looking forward to,” he said, kissing her again. “Now, dance with me so that all these people can stop staring at us?” he asked, rolling them out onto the dance floor.
Montana laughed as Eddie spun them around the floor, high on the adrenaline that can only come from being in love.
EPILOGUE
MONTANA PARKED HER motorcycle in front of the hospital and checked her watch as she hurried inside. Thirty-six seconds until her appointment with Erika. One she’d almost canceled a dozen times for a dozen made-up reasons.
Faced with another clinical drug option that could reduce or eliminate her hallucinations, would she go for it?
She hadn’t known the answer weeks ago when Eddie had asked her, and she still didn’t now.
“You are the queen of arriving right at the last minute,” Erika said, meeting her in the lobby.
“I like to keep you guessing,” Montana said. She’d also had trouble getting out of Eddie’s bed. Since the wedding two days ago, they’d barely been able to tear their bodies away from one another long enough to go to the bathroom. If possible, their connection was even stronger now. They definitely appreciated what they had together and knew it was real. Together, they made sense.
Erika eyed the motorcycle helmet and leather clothing. “I’m not even going to say anything...” She sucked in her bottom lip, then pursed her lips together.
M
ontana waited.
“But there is snow on the ground.”
“Thought you weren’t going to say anything,” Montana said with a grin. “Don’t worry, I’m just driving it to a storage facility. Eddie’s picking me up there in an hour.” He was at the station, and Montana was almost more nervous about his meeting with Captain Clarkson than she was about her doctor’s appointment.
She swallowed hard. They’d make it work if he moved to Anchorage. It was only an hour away by train. She’d spend the weekends there with him on the alternate weekends when Kaia was with Tank and Cass. He’d come back here to visit. His family was still here.
She wasn’t losing him. They were both getting everything they wanted.
Still, the knot in her stomach grew, knowing he was across town accepting the new promotion and that, within a few weeks, he wouldn’t be just a wall away anymore.
She followed Erika into her office and took the seat across from her.
“So, all your tests look good. No real change.”
Montana nodded. She’d gotten used to hearing that. It used to bother her that her progress had essentially reached its potential, but now, as long as she wasn’t digressing, she was happy. She was able to live a completely independent, fulfilled, happy life. She was lucky. It had taken her far too long to realize just how lucky.
“We do have a new drug we can try,” Erika said, opening the file on her desk. “The one I mentioned to you a few months ago when it was still in trials. It’s been FDA-approved. Early results show significant improvement in the reduction and—in some cases—the elimination of auditory and visual hallucinations in the trial patients.”
“So, you think it will work?” Will make her sister disappear. For good.
“I’m confident it will, yes,” Erika said.
A few months ago, this would have been an easy yes. Now she was looking for reasons to reconsider. “Side effects?”
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